The crime streak continues! My

The crime streak continues! My brother’s car was stolen yesterday. I’ve never known anyone whose car has been stolen. It’s such a BIG thing to steal. Also, it was my high school car, which makes me kind of sad. Who wants to steal a ’91 Toyota Camry anyway?

I have a big treat for all you city kids today. Krista is currently in Iowa, on a trip to rest and “recuperate from life.” (Don’t we all need those trips?) I’m proud to bring you a two part dispatch from the heartland, so we all might recuperate from life a bit and breathe in some grass-filled air, blog style.

Humboldt Iowa, Day 7

The first thing I noticed about Iowa is the fresh air. At first I couldn't put my finger on what was different. I asked my Mom, "Why do I like breathing here so much...and why is it so easy?" I forgot what nature smelled like and how it's easier to breath when you don't have car exhaust for oxygen. Everything is blooming here and greener than one of Trump's golf courses.

I've seen less people in the week I've been here than in one afternoon walking to the Chinese restaurant in Brooklyn. [ed note: the dead one.] Yesterday I asked my Mom where all the people were. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Krista, not many people LIVE here." I had a hard time processing the fact that all the people weren't just hiding from me.

I've spent the past week lying in the sun on my parents back porch. The Iowa Gods have smiled on me and gifted me with a bright sun and a temperature in the high 70's. When I'm not lying in the sun I'm playing board games. My family is a big board game family. If we don't focus our attention on dice and pop-o-matic bubbles we focus it on each other...and nobody wants that.

So far I've played two games of scrabble (lost both), four games of SkipBo (won 2, lost 2), two games of Phase 10 (won one, lost one, although I'm pretty sure my mom was hiding phase 6 in her bra), one game of Mexican Train dominoes (beat both my parents asses, boy am I good at matching little colored dots), and one game of CSI (Mom won. It was Russell Crews who killed his wife with an exotic snake he borrowed from Joe Primo. And yes, there is a CSI board game complete with little Det. Grissom figurines and notebooks).

Other than playing games I had the great opportunity to go to a rodeo! Yes, a real rodeo folks, with real bronco riding, barrel races, calf roping, and bull riding. It would have been a great night except for the fact that my mom and I did one of the worst things we've ever done...ever. I'll try to explain.

Tomorrow: "A woman enters the dirt arena, riding a horse and carrying a giant American flag, which she proudly waves above her studded American flag satin shirt. This is where things go downhill."

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