Helloooo. I’m just gonna jump

Helloooo. I’m just gonna jump right in here and put Jennifer Garner’s man belly on the table. I love me some Jennifer Garner. I love me some Alias. I, in fact, waited me some six months or something in eager anticipation of the fourth season to start back up so I could resume my hot girl who’s also badass girl fixation. And the season started on Wednesday…with a giant close-up of what I assumed to be a man-in-drag’s belly. Clearly the girl has been doing some serious work for Elektra because she has moved past taut tummy into female weight-lifter, rippling muscle belly. Which is fine. But that does mean that the scenes she does where she is pretending to be a sexy foreign girl to fake seduce a bad guy and she accidentally-on-purpose reveals her stomach? Those scenes are now weird.

Earlier in the week, I had to grab Max from his escape into the hallway. While carrying him up the stairs, I tripped a bit, causing Max to dig his giant sharp back claws into my tender little hand. I bandaged it up for a day or so and when I removed them, it turned out that if I made a little talking mouth guy with that hand, the injuries looked just like gouged out eyes. Let me tell you: ENDLESS Thursday night fun ensued with the adventures of Gouged Out Eyes Man, who, if you asked him, scooped out his eyes with a spoon, and upon later consideration, may have had a bit of an Oedipal problem.

I am sure that many people have weddings that happen like “Father of the Bride” wherein they hire a consultant and merely have to look at a picture of a cake before ordering it. Or like “Sex and the City” where they try on three dresses and fall in love with one of them and then just BUY it. Unfortunately, I’m of the more manic deal-hunting variety and because I’m acutely aware of the deals to be had on the internet and in small shops, I am driving myself crazy trying to go about everything in a way that is smart and fiscally wise. I guess part of me enjoys the hunt, but part of me gets very tired and just wants a nice dirty vodka martini and an overpriced consultant to find pretty overpriced things for me. Ah, who am I kidding? All I have to see are ring pillows for $60 and veils for $100 to send me over the top. Don’t people know how to MAKE pillows? Do you NEED a pillow? It’s all craziness, I tell you.

Everyone is going so crazy over “Sideways”. Have you seen it? I know everyone’s talking Academy Awards, but all I can think of when I see the previews is: Fraiser, the Movie.

I have to give a brief shout-out here to Krista, who wins the New Year’s resolution unofficial game. During dinner on New Year’s eve, we made jokey resolutions for each other. Mine to her was the she had to go on a date with a musician. On the way home from our rooftop celebration, who should she run into but her friend, the DRUMMER. She calls me up, not an hour later, to tell me one of his friends asked her out. While this friend isn’t a musician by profession, I’m sure he’s a harmonica hobbyist or something, because that coincidence is just too big not to come entirely true. I’m also making a resolution for myself to win the lottery, on the off chance my powers apply to myself as well.

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