Okay, I have been avoiding

Okay, I have been avoiding writing this down because I have been avoiding thinking about it, but I guess I just need to get it out of my system, because I don’t think I’ll be able to write about anything else until this is gone. Deep breath. This involves bugs. Cockroaches, to be exact. And while we’re getting our pre-heebie jeebies on I will just say: baby cockroaches. So if you want to bow out now, I completely understand. That is what I would do.

Like this weekend when J and I were starting our dinner of Chinese takeout and we realized that the “This American Life” episode we were listening to was about dead bodies and other appetizing things. There was a point in one of the stories where this guy (who is a cleaner, a la “Pulp Fiction”) is going into the apartment of a not-so-recently deceased guy and hears a sound. He knows he shouldn’t be hearing any sounds because the electricity has been turned off and there’s nothing alive in the apartment. It was then and there that I decided I could go the whole rest of my life without ever learning what the sound turned out to be. I plugged my ears and let my mind wander over a PG version of whatever the story was while I watched J’s face fall in disgust before giving me the all-clear.

Avoidance lalala.

So our kitchen at work has had a little bug problem for a while. It is a new problem and one that is not easily linked to anything. Everything is properly stored, and we don’t have much in the way of perishables anyway. Nonetheless, there have been bugs. Big gross bugs. And lord. Do I hate. Bugs. Especially cockroaches, which J is always trying to get me to “respect” because they are so adept at living. I choose to hate them for this quality instead. Anyway, office, bugs, yech.

I make the coffee in the morning, and on a couple of occasions I have lifted the water filter lid and saw a big ol cockroach scurrying around in there. These are also occasions where I have abruptly stopped making coffee, walked away, and bought me some nice, sterile, Starbucks for several days in a row. But at some point, someone would give the machine a good cleaning and I would again drink office coffee. We sprayed the office awhile ago and I have seen less bugs.

This morning was a bug finding morning and I sat there caffeine-less at my desk for several hours. By then, my coffee needs started to outweighed by bug fear. I decided I would peek in, and if there were no bugs I would give everything a good cleaning again. So I worked up the courage to peek in.

And. Holy. Bejeezus.

There were bugs. S! Plural! Baby bugs! And a white thing! That might have been an egg! (That in particular is a detail I’m trying to wash from my brain.) I calmly sat down and told my boss I thought there might have been baby bugs in the coffee maker. “Might!" I couldn’t even bring myself to relay the full details. I spared his mind! (Sorry sick co-worker who was out today and didn’t know all this! I only hope you skip this entry and I can spare you, too!)

Luckily, he works fast and decisively and we dumped the whole thing in a trash bag and sprayed the hell out of the inside of the bag as well as the kitchen.

I haven’t seen another bug today which you could look at as good. Or you could look at it as the bugs were LIVING IN THE COFFEE MAKER and we’ve been DRINKING BUG COFFEE. Which I’m trying very hard not to do. Very hard.

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