I would like to introduce

I would like to introduce you to RealGirl. She has just started this fab website that promises to give us the lowdown on everything a girly girl might need. I actually know RealGirl in RealLife, as she sits across from me at work once a week, so I can vouch for her moisturized lips and shiny hair. Also her first book is being published next year, so we can equally focus our jealousy on her fashion sense and writing abilities.

She told me that she didn’t want to start a blog that was all, “Did you see Paris Hilton on TV last night and also I drank coffee this morning and I am soooo bored.” Which I totally respect. But anyway, did you see the Apprentice last night and the figgin’ Double Elimination of Death? Well I did not because the television fritzed right before the final boardroom. As any reasonable person might do, I called Kelly and calmly explained my situation (“Oh my god oh my god! What’s happening! What did Carolyn say! What’s going on!”) and she aided by propping the phone against her television. It is either a testament to modern technology or our sad, sad addiction to Trump-related reality tv, but three of us hovered around my cell phone in order to hear the last five minutes of the show.

The fact that twitch bitch Maria and her bedazzled suit jacket were fired almost makes up for the fact that I missed seeing it happen.

Krista is back from her safari in Africa all tanned and traveled. She was too tired to give us the slide show, although she did regale us with stories of wildebeests, bungalows, and vindictive rich girls. Maybe I can persuade her to do a guest entry on The Real Tanzania.

I will leave you this fine Friday with some catalogue covers. We are on some mailing list that solicits us to buy lots of weird junky things. One gag gift at Spencers on your credit card and they think they have their market for insulting t-shirts and boob remote controls pegged. Anyway, this catalogue is called “Things You Never Knew Existed,” which is sort of a promising title.

Think of all the things you never knew existed. I would totally flip through something that sold me straight bananas, or artificial limbs for dolphins, or even cockroach controlled robots. Their main pull, however, seems to be more along this line:

Although, I have to admit, I’m now curious what the inaugural issue of 1914 contained.

And lastly, here is the unfortunate cover of this month’s J. Crew catalogue

Layer on the patterns, kids, orphan chic is here!

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