Three stories I never got

1.
One sweltering July evening, J and I decided to throw an impromptu dinner party for a couple of friends. As we are vegetarians and these particular friends have their own pickiness patterns, we had to scrounge around awhile to pick out things that were both easy and didn’t require a lot of turning-the-hot-oven-on-for-long-periods-of-time consideration. Skimming through the giant cookbook, we settled on a fancy salad, stuffed potato skins, and a chilled avocado mint soup.

This avocado mint soup is by far the WEIRDEST thing I have ever made. While it sounded fancy and fun, we were to quickly learn that there are consequences for mixing pureed avocado with vegetable broth. Weird consequences. Warm, the soup tasted good. Chilled, the soup tasted, not bad, but exactly like chicken. Like cold chicken chowder.

As vegetarians, we are prone to saying things taste like meat when in meat-eating reality, the said food bares little resemblance to meat. But when our meat-eating friends came over and tentatively sipped the soup, there was a unanimous “cold chicken gravy” consensus. So, FYI: creamed avocado + broth = chicken.

2.
While in Tulsa, I was chatting with my grandma about New York life. Thinking I was going to blow her mind, I told her all about FreshDirect and how we do all of our grocery shopping online now. She considered this. “You mean you just tell them what you want and they deliver it to you?” I said yes. “Well, that’s exactly how we did it when I was a girl. You called up the store and told them your order and they’d come bring it to you.” I hadn’t considered this. Once again, technology has completed a full circle.

3.
Another Tulsa story. We had decided to go see a dollar movie (Dodgeball) one afternoon when we didn’t have a massive feeding on the schedule. We were warned ahead of time by my aunt to be careful—the theater had a reputation for being seedy. Now, living in New York, I KNOW seedy. I pay $10 for seedy. But this theater? Had a chandelier in the expansive lobby, which was flanked by arcade games. And the movie cost one dollar. (!!!) Though we hadn’t expected it to be crowded, we found the theater completely empty. Except for one lone man, sitting in the middle of the sea of seats, wearing a large, white cowboy hat. And I thought, here we are: in Tulsa.