J and I are jetsetters,

J and I are jetsetters, man! We’re off to Minnesota at the end of the month for a friend’s wedding, and then to Ohio for Thanksgiving, and finally Denver for Christmas. I have never met J’s family before, so our trip to Ohio should be enlightening in all sorts of ways. He gets a little nervous when preparing me for the trip, and he keeps joking that he hopes I still love him after going through the St. Mary’s experience. I tell him, “Of course, sweetie!” and hug him, and he laughs nervously and says, “Seriously. I hope you do.” One of the ways in which he is introducing me to his Midwestern upbringing is by sending me links to his town’s homepage. I will now share it with you all so we can all—together—begin to see what I am getting myself into.

Here is the homepage. Try not to get a seizure trying to watch the spinning horse statue or figuring out that the line animation is a bucking animal. In case you, like J, are confused by the graphic next to the “What’s New” column, be assured that it is a picture of a gnu and in fact a hilarious pun. Why do I know it is a gnu? Because I remember jokes from first grade. I have never in fact spoken of a gnu in a non-pun context.

So What’s Gnu? you ask? Well, football! High school football. The Riders. And also the marching band that plays at the games. This is also newsworthy. J says it is not an exaggeration or simply the proclivity of this webmaster—that indeed, the town focuses almost solely around the high school football team.

Perhaps you would like to scroll your curser over the side bar pictures. If you do, you can watch the icon of the head explode. Fun! Also you can look through the shops and think that Joe’s kind of looks like a fun place to go.

Unfortunately, J’s brother squashed my excitement by telling me Joe’s does not so much exist as not exist at all. This seems like cruel fake advertising.

Also on the side bar, you have the opportunity to take a virtual drive through the town. J and I had a very “In the Year 2000” date when he directed me around town while on the phone with each other. He wanted to show me his grandfather’s house, which made it onto the tour. The driving simulation was SO real, that we even had a fight that went something like:

J: Turn right at 400 block heading south.
L: I don’t see 400 block.
J: It’s right there! Oh you passed it.
L: J, I can’t see where you are looking at.
J: Ok, go back to Main Street and turn right.
L: There’s nothing there! What are you talking about?
J: U-turn, u-turn!
L: Ah, I almost hit that man and his dog!

I am looking forward to driving in a real car through the real town, which I can’t imagine will be as stressful as the virtual drive.

In other gnus (oh ha ha), I am back in touch with my old best friend from middle school. We went our separate ways towards high school, but found each other again through the wonders of email. This is good fun. Get ready for an upcoming post on Totally Embarrassing Things We Did For Fun in 6th Grade.

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