I thought the debates went

I thought the debates went well last night. I did however feel they might have been more succinct if Donald Trump had been moderating.

The Donald: As project manager, you’re allowed to bring either two or three people into the board room with you. What’ll it be?

Bush: I’ll take two. Kerry and Saddam.

The Donald: Sounds personal! Okay then, I’ll see you three later.

(later)

TD: Ok Bush, why did you bring these two in here?

B: Well Kerry’s been a flip-flopper since the beginning and Saddam was really a failure on this mission.

Caroline: But what about Osama? Wasn’t he in charge of décor? The area you were rated the lowest on and which caused you to lose?

B: Uh, but overall, Saddam has really been a thorn in my side.

TD: So, it IS personal.

Saddam: Mr. Trump, it’s totally personal.

TD: I wasn’t talking to you. Kerry, who would you fire?

Kerry: Bush, absolutely. He was a disorganized mess this entire mission. Terrible leadership skills. And Osama was really the one who messed this whole thing up for us, so I have no idea why he’s not in here.

B: I think Saddam has not done well since the beginning. He’s a major screw-up, not to mention totally annoying.

TD: But for this particular task, it wasn’t Saddam who messed you up--it was Osama. You made a big mistake. This is an easy one. Bush, you’re fired.

Before the debates, we were at a big barbeque at 826NYC to celebrate the beginning of the school year. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many people in the place all at once and it was a little crazy. The backyard was packed, so I made my way into the main room, where I consumed approximately 7 cookies, a cream puff, a loaf of chocolate babka, cupcakes, donuts, and pizza. Oh, and a diet Sprite. We sat around chatting for a bit in this room before we were herded into the store area with instructions to watch the kids.

Oh. My. God.

Imagine if you will, a skillfully designed store, colorful and stocked to the brim with costumes, spy equipment, light-up accessories, ping pong ball guns, targets, masks, capes, a cape tester, and a revolving hidden door. Now imagine the place also occupied by a dozen unsupervised kids hyped up on sugar and encouraged to be superheroes. You see why I had to leave that room immediately. I think it went something like, “Oh, don’t point that gun at people! Oh, careful of the mannequins! No, the cane isn’t a sword! I don’t know how much the anti-matter diffuser pellet bracelet is! I gotta go.”

But I did learn that I am thanked in the new McSweeney’s, which will be my first thank you in anything published. Awesome.

Looks like I'm not the only one who'd like to see the Donald step in.

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