At one point, pre-Lizmatazz, you
Posted by: Liz | From: July 19, 2004
At one point, pre-Lizmatazz, you might have read this and thought, "Huh, that is mildly amusing." But now, knowing and appreciating what you do about query letters, it should be much more funny now. See how I enrich your lives and give you tools with which to bolster your joke understanding capabilities! Truly priceless. * Two overheard comments from husky punk boy, possibly 15-years old, to friends on subway: "Just because I don't kiss my girlfriends. I mean we lie around and I listen to them talk and read poems and take ecstasy." "Can you imagine how much it would totally suck to have Sylvia Plath as a girlfriend? You'd be all, 'Good morning,' and she'd be all, "What's good about it? I'm oppressed.'" Staples.com always send these enticing little coupons with their bills for free things you can get with your next purchase over $150. These free things are almost always something worth approximately $.43, but today's coupon struck me as especially intriguing. It features a plastic tub of pretzel sticks and the copy reads "Someone's about to reeeeeeeeally popular," which leads me to believe that the someone is me. I'm about to be reeeeeeeeally popular! In case I couldn't guess how, once I open up the coupon it further explains my impending popularity with the explanation "FREE Tub of Pretzel Rods with your next purchase of $150 or more." Now it is possible that some people have a different office dynamic than I, a dynamic that bestows popularity based on the tubs of carbohydrates that they are able to procure for free and share with the office, but this is not my office. In fact, in spite of the "resealable for freshness" tub, I have a feeling these rods would eventually petrify into small, salty weapons. The second explanation is that the ad is incredibly sarcastic. (There are a lot of italicized eee's in the "reeeeeeeeally,") Is the ad being mean? Is it taunting a poor, lowly admin assistant who does the supply ordering, into thinking she can win her way up the corporate ladder with a drum of old fashioned lowfat pretzel rods, while secretly laughing at her futility? Is it a comment on the Atkin's invasion on the work place? Perhaps a subtle sarcasm from the protein-only person who wrote the comment, knowing the reception she would give the person who cheerfully placed free bucket of white flour in the company kitchen? Anywho, Kelly's back and kicking with lots of fun stories about getting lost (in your eyes) and stupid Americans. Read up!*If you are crying in your cereal with a Something-of-the-Day-shaped hole in your heart, shoot me an email.
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