This is why we can't
Posted by: Liz | From: April 22, 2004
This is why we can't have nice thingsHere's a good lesson: if you can't afford it, don't try it on. Because, c'mon, what are you doing, really? Twice this week (twice!) I have put luxurious things on my feet, which I have no monies to pay for. But these luxurious things have now imbedded themselves into my brain and I spent a good part of my lunch hour scouring the internet for the one secret site that will provide me with my cute kitten-heeled shoes and super-awesome rollerblades for, oh say, $20 each. No, don't bother looking: the site does not exist. Sad day for me.
Do I need this particular pair of shoes? No. This expensive pair of rollerblades? No. Are they not even very expensive relatively speaking and I'm so poor that they seem very expensive so that if I were to buy them I would feel guilt even despite their relatively low cost for not buying food or something instead? Yes. uh, I think. I lost myself there.
Anyway, I'm a bad, greedy person because I have gotten many wonderful gifts in the past month, owing to my mom coming to town and J being a superstar sugar daddy. And sometimes even sugar daddy has to look out for number one, so you know what he bought for himself? A diamond encrusted, gold plated longboard. Ok, haha, not really with the jewels and gold, but he is now the proud owner of a lovely longboard. He broke it in last night by breaking himself all over the pavement, but he survived it like a man and will probably have some nice, tough guy scars to show for it.
One time when a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless) was having some serious issues with a little chin rash she received from a bristle-haired nookie (sacre bleu!), J gave her a line to deliver to people who asked about it, which went something like: I was on my bike and I bunny hopped a jersey barrier. My back peg caught it and I totally ate asphalt. ("Oh my god, were you wearing a helmet?") Yeah man, but I cracked that bitch.
Walking with J and his longboard, some high school part of me gets all excited again at having a skater boyfriend. But then I remember that he's not sullen and doesn't have band patches sewn all over his hoodie, and he doesn't make awkward gay jokes, and shuffle his feet a lot, which makes me really glad I'm dating J and not a Lakewood high schooler.
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