I had a dream last
Posted by: Liz
I had a dream last night that a bunch of us were standing around watching the sun setting over a valley. It looked very odd and mottled and we figured it was because of an eclipse. Suddenly, it started swinging violently from one side of the sky to the other in an arch. It stopped, trembled a little, then exploded. We were shocked, and pieces began to fall from the sky and turn into lava on the ground. The heat hit us and we started running from the oncoming stream of lava. As it neared our feet, we jumped up. But there was no where to go from there except into the lava, and we died. Then I woke up. Then I came to work and read this! Holy crap. J assured me there would be no lava. --------The McSweeney’s reading on Friday
Posted by: Liz
The McSweeney’s reading on Friday was pretty good. The whole time leading up to the reading I was filled with a little bit of dread, which I finally chalked up to the extreme length of William Vollmann’s book. Long, involved, political book = long, involved, political reading. But it was structured very well with Sarah Vowell and Gabe Hudson reading from parts, followed by a talk by Vollmann accompanied by a slide show (at once moving and shocking…a slide of a murdered friend floated on screen for a disturbingly long time). The last part was supposed to be a discussion, but turned into this one guy dominating the stage with his own politics and war stories. And dude, by that time, I was done. It was held in this beautiful old synagogue with a creaky floor and a wraparound balcony. David Byrne showed up on his bike, gave me a nice hello, sat in front of us, and left right after the slide show. Smart man.Saturday was all about Krista and her BIG BIRTHDAY BASH! We started out at Benihana, a place I’d never been, but which is apparently THE place to go if you are having a birthday party. By the time Krista’s pineapple whale and candle came out, we were the seventh table to have sung “Happy Birthday” that evening. It was pretty fun, if not a bit overpriced for the vegetarians ($18 for a plate of steamed veggies, 4 cubes of tofu, and a scoop of sorbet). We did what we were supposed to: drank out of ceramic Buddha’s, cheered at the chopping skills of the hibachi chefs, disallowed the chef to toss a shrimp tail down the front of my shirt (although J suspects some women actually participate in shrimpy tail shirt antics), and sang our hearts out for Krista.
Then we were off to Noa for drinks. Joe is a hobnobber of top sorts and scored us a private area, where we drank down fancy martinis and chocolate margaritas (limey and chocolaty…confusing to your taste buds, but extremely good nonetheless. The guy sitting next to me noted: “Two very different flavors brought together by their mutual friend, alcohol.”) At one point I decided Krista needed a funny birthday shot and tried to order a buttery nipple. Unfortunately, the waitresses didn’t speak English all that clearly and couldn’t understand what I was saying. I had to repeatedly yell “Buttery nipple!” into this woman’s ear, which was a little embarrassing after the third or fourth time. I thought she got it, but realized she didn’t when she sent another waitress over to ask me again what it was I wanted. Jeeze people!
Yesterday was spent in a lovely hangover lounge. My tastes seem to be very unpicky when weighed down by dehydration and a headache. I happily watched Martha make a turkey with cheesecloth, James and the Giant Peach, and most of Sister Act. Yes, Sister Act.
Hey Alias fans, here’s my question to you: what the hell is up with Jack Bristow’s left ear? This photo doesn't do the thing justice. I mean, are you kidding me? It’s GYNORMOUS! I don’t mean to be flip if he has a medical condition, say gigantism of the left ear, but seriously…does he have gigantism of the left ear? I notice the camera angles away from the ear as much as possible. Maybe he got old man ear in just on ear. Perhaps the other will follow? Maybe I’ll ask Doug about this.
--------
If my computer/Blogger would cooperate,
Posted by: Liz
If my computer/Blogger would cooperate, I would have left a message on Ahe's blog re: death of Jonathan Brandis and it would have been something like:Oh my god! My friend Heather and I watched the first half of the movie, "IT" over and over again because we were so in love with him. Actually, now that I think about it, Heather may have been more in love with the guy who played Stan, but nevertheless he played a huge part of my girlhood. My friend Allison Gleichman and I were very much in love with him and wrote him a letter around the time he was to appear in "Ladybugs." Our friend Yasmeen appeared in that movie for about, oh I don't know, 5 seconds, so we were practically best friends with Jon. A few weeks later, we received a nice letter back from his fan club president, which included 2 autographed black and white photos of the boy. Allison got one, I got the other. Over the years, I've almost thrown that picture away half a dozen times, but I believe it is still tucked away with all the notes I ever wrote/received in middle school.
So sad.
I guess that would have been a really long comment post.
--------
The New York Times weighs
Posted by: Liz
The New York Times weighs in on "The Cat in the Hat" movie:"Hollywood has turned Dr. Seuss' whimsical story into a vulgar, uninspired lump of poisoned eye candy."
I am only sorry the reviewer had to actually watch the movie in order to write the review.
--------There's a Lynn Chase office
Posted by: Liz
There's a Lynn Chase office next door and they're having their huge annual sale. It's been pretty tame all day, but come 5:30 the hall filled to the brim with muckity muck high falutin' ladies all dyin to get their hand on some discounted tableware. I went to the bathroom and I swear to god they had hot boxed the room with their old lady perfume. It's inside my nostrils and it won't get out! I have the impulse to sniff in reverse, which is a tricky thing to do if you're also trying not to blow your nose all over your computer keys. I think it's starting to creep under the office door, so I'm feeling extra lucky there's only 3 minutes til I can escape. --------Today I went to Pax
Posted by: Liz
Today I went to Pax for lunch, lured by their signs for pressed sandwiches. It’s not a secret any longer that I am a sucker for pressed sandwiches. I realized that Pax pressed sandwiches are, by definition alone, not going to be as good as Press 195 pressed sandwiches, but lunchtime is lunchtime and melty cheese between two crispy slices of hot foccacia is, well, hard to get wrong. It was crazy busy there, as one might assume, and the “chefs” behind the counter were hyper-excited to help the next person which they let us know by emitting a continuous peal of “Can I help who’s next? Who’s next who’s next? Can I help you?” in between which you are to insert your order. I did and then moved down the line. An efficient 5 minutes later a chef waved around a plastic container and shouted out “Three cheese!” but before I could react, an anonymous hand popped out of the throng of people and took my sandwich! I let out a little sad cry and one of the guys noticed and made motions to me to indicate that he was on it. I was getting my sandwich post haste. And he delivered! Not three minutes later I had my melty cheesey goodness in my hands. And not only that. The man gave it to me for free. How bout it! Duane Reade peeps, take note.Digressive sandwich thiever story: This one takes place at a Subway with sandwich artists who speak very little English. I was behind one guy who had orders for several sandwiches going at once. My little veggie and cheese sandwich was being made behind his and, as it goes at Subway, I was following its progress behind the glass as I directed the ingredients onto the bread. When it was finished, it was papered, stuffed in a bag, handed to the register guy, and promptly taken by the guy in front of me. “Excuse me,” I said, “I think that’s my veggie and cheese.” Which was a lie, because I know it was my veggie and cheese. He huffed at me and shook his head, “No, it’s my turkey.” That was an aggravating response, but I remained calm, “Actually, I’m really pretty sure that’s my veggie and cheese. I just watched him put it into the bag.” But the guy wouldn’t listen and insisted on taking the sandwich. I was incredulous—you would think as a meat eater he would be making triply sure that his sandwich was not lacking the meat he paid for instead of being stupidly insistent that my sandwich was his. Unbelievably, the people behind the counter started motioning frantically to me that they would make me a new sandwich, not to worry about it, let it go. Which made the whole situation even stranger because they were then admitting that my sandwich was gone and not just behind the counter waiting to be rung up next. Shaking my head, I started to make the sandwich over again. As the guy left I shrugged and said, “Well, just so you know, when you get home and go to eat that sandwich, it’s not going to have turkey on it.” There was more huffing and annoyance, then he was gone. The Subway guys were all dismissive, like: just let it go, that guy’s crazy! Which sounded about right.
--------
Kelly's one night stand had
Posted by: Liz
Kelly's one night stand had a baby! Ain't it cute? --------Last night’s McSweeney’s reading was
Posted by: Liz
Last night’s McSweeney’s reading was pretty killer. Nell Freudenberger read first, from the last story in Lucky Girls. She has a very interesting presence about her. I guess quiet, but determined. Almost shy, but with the impression that she’d surprise you with what she is really thinking or wants to do. She’s slight, with a little upturned nose and, I’d say a generally non-descript demeanor, if she hadn’t seemed to be driving every guy (and perhaps girl) in there wild—she’s hot in the hottest sense of the word: mysterious, attractive, unique, accomplished, and quietly approachable. When I read someone’s work, I have a way of inserting my writing self into the words and playing along with the story. Depending on what I’m reading it can feel like something I am capable of writing, but along the way I always reach these bumps where I know I would never use that word or reference that war or make that leap of humor. It’s by way of these bumps that I gauge how much I like a writer. My favorite writers are ones whose writing I am able to get inside, but surprises me by the bumps. A writer I could be, if I had more skill or training or time or insight. In any case, Nell fits the bill. Her writing, like her person, is delicate but strong.Gabe Hudson read next, and Scott thought later he seemed oddly nervous. I think it was because he hearts Nell and she was sitting right by him. Ha ha. He does this thing at the end of all his readings where he blindfolds himself and has four people throw a water balloon each at him, military style (Person: “Who goes there?” Gabe: “Gabe.” BLAM.) I’ve seen this before with him and no one has come close to hitting him. If they do, the balloon doesn’t break. Which is what happened with the first balloon. Then, the second guys stepped up and it happens like this:
Guy: Who goes there?
Gabe: Gabe
Guy: Semper fi!
And pummels him in the face (!) with the balloon, which burst upon impact. Gabe, I’m sure, was the most stunned of everyone there. This was only the second time he’d gotten wet during a year or so of doing this exercise.
Afterwards, we all went to Daisy’s Diner for a bite to eat, where I got to meet and John Aboud, the founder of this. Very cool, down to earth guy. We all got to talking about the new McSweeney’s site, which is definitely moving to 5th and 5th. Say your goodbyes to the old store…it’s scheduled to close down by the end of December. If you have any ideas about stocking up a superhero themed store (think Chris Ware style, not franchised) we’re looking for good suggestions.
And last: Happy 1 year anniversary for me and J!
--------
Kelly has a funny story
Posted by: Liz
Kelly has a funny story from college about a debate class she was in where a guy named Bear argued that the the governement should not have control over radio content. He continued to argue that the FCC was doing a fine job and why should the government step in? Much to Kelly's dismay (and extreme amusement), the debate opponant was apparently a few sesame seeds short of a bun himself, and failed to notice the slip-up. After clarifying what FCC stood for. (Yes, our college housed the best and the brightest). It wasn't until the end of the debate that the connection between "federal" and "government" was brought to their attention.It's important to note the significance of initials.
J brought this great example to my attention on the subway the other night. He pointed out the new bp ads, which feature heartfelt Americans saying things like "There's not much we can do about our dependence of foreign oil. We only have so many reserves." bp explains: " Though we do have some options. As we continue to invest in alternative energy sources like solar, the immediate need for oil and gas still remains. Over the next 10 years, we're investing $15 billion in the Gulf of Mexico to find and produce new energy supplies. Today, nearly 70% of the oil we use to make fuels in the U.S. comes from North America. It's a start."
And the kicker-- they sign off with their bp logo, next to which says: "beyond petroleum."
10 points to anyone who can tell me what bp really stands for? Ok, I'll let J answer: "British Petroleum."
Ha!
--------
Getting into the elevator is
Posted by: Liz
Getting into the elevator is always an adventure around here. Did I tell you there’s a modeling agency on six floors above me? Yeah, well there is. So at any given (rushed, bad hair, casual Friday, generally frumpy) moment you can be thrown in the elevator with either a) fashioned out leggy 6 foot hipster girls or angle-faced, low-slung jean-wearin’ hipster guys. It can do things to your self-esteem. Also of note are the third floor people, who I present to you as the laziest people I have ever encountered. Not only does every new day bring a new frustrating stop on the up elevator at the third floor, but it brings stories of the extreme sloth-life non-exertion of these people.I present before you exhibit A: A large group has congregated in the lobby after lunch waiting to catch an elevator. One woman in particular is giving George, the elevator guy, a hard time. “You know I always come back at 2:00 and every day I have to wait for an elevator. You should know my schedule! Every day the same thing!” She’s joking, but the longer we wait, the more irritating it is. I eye the stairs and wonder if I should just walk the 9 flights to my office. The woman makes a big show about sitting in George’s chair while she waits wearily for the elevator. Finally it comes and she loads herself in. Only to press the button for the third fuckin floor. I swear to god…
Exhibit B: two guys are in the elevator talking about their daily commute. One is going on about the subways and the other one says, “Well, hey I live seven blocks away, can’t beat that!” The other guys says, “For when it’s nice outside, yeah.” “Oh no, rain or shine. It’s an easy walk.” But, ding! Third floor. Seven blocks is evidently more feasible than 2 flights of stairs. Good lord, people! Unless you are maimed or otherwise bodily incapable of climbing stairs, you are worthless for taking the elevator up two short flights of stairs.
--------
Doug has all your answers!
Posted by: Liz
Doug has all your answers! Well, all mine anyway. And who doesn't love Doug anyway? No one. Give the boy some lovin'. --------I just ordered the Newsies
Posted by: Liz
I just ordered the Newsies sountrack and I am so excited I could pee myself. --------Jason inspired me. Molecules are
Posted by: Liz
Jason inspired me. Molecules are fun. Drink more of me every day.
You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
--------
On the subway home last
Posted by: Liz
On the subway home last night, we were sitting for a minute at the Jay Street stop when J directed my attention out the window. “What is that?” he asked pointing at a mysterious lump of something sitting on a plate on the bench. It appeared to be a yellowish scoop of mashed potatoes. Or possibly some melting ice cream. Or a chunk of odd-colored clay. We batted some ideas around for a minute. A peeled apple? Whipped cream? But why was it there on this plate, uncovered and sitting on a bench? Did it belong to the guy sitting next to it? He had his leg crossed in its direction, but in a very noncommittal way. Like, yes this is my peeled turnip and it needs to sit on this bench a moment. Or like, yes, I acknowledge I am sitting next to peculiar trash, but I will not be dissuaded from sitting on this bench to rest. As we pulled away from the station J said, quite accurately, “That is a legitimate New York mystery.” --------So I was killing a
Posted by: Liz
So I was killing a few minutes scoping out Craig’s List in the book section and I came across quite an interesting ad. It was for 22 Stories, the complete works by JD Salinger. The person noted that the book contained all the stories he’d written for magazines as well as Hapworth 16, a book which was slated for publication a few years ago, but was pulled out of production, apparently by Salinger. The person noted that it was "a rare book, I'd say." I'd say, too. Since I don’t think the book was ever published. I checked on Amazon and they don’t have any listing for it. Eventually I was lead to a page where someone at one point had them available for download, but where there is now a letter from Salinger’s literary representative asking them to remove the downloads for legal reasons. This was intriguing. I did more research. I guess I don’t want anyone (me) to get in trouble for anything, but let’s just say if you e-mailed me and told me you liked Raise High the Roofbeams, Carpenters I might send you back a little sumpin’ sumpin’.later: oh here's what lopezbooks.com has to say about these collections:
263. SALINGER, J.D. The Complete Uncollected Short Stories of J.D. Salinger. (n.p.): (n.p.) (n.d.). [c. 1974]. Unauthorized, bootleg compilation of Salinger's previously published but uncollected short stories. Two volumes. This is the second issue: Volume 1 perfectbound and Volume 2 in illustrated wrappers and including the story "Go See Eddie." Salinger initiated a lawsuit to suppress this publication, which was successful, although the settlement acknowledged the legitimacy, after a certain period of time, of single, used copies of the collection being sold. Upper spines bumped; thus near fine copies.
264. SALINGER, J.D. Twenty-Two Stories. (n.p.): (Train Bridge Recluse) (1998). A later edition of the pirated stories that first appeared together in the two-volume piracy The Complete Uncollected Short Stories in 1974. (Actually, only the later issues carried 22 stories; the first issue lacked "Go See Eddie.") This is a one-volume piracy, in plain blue wrappers and with a wraparound band listing the contents. Fine. The first piracy was actively suppressed by Salinger's lawyers, and this one has recently come under fire from his legal staff. Such editions are the only way to collect, and read, Salinger's uncollected stories other than searching out the 22 different periodicals in which they first appeared.
(this must be the Craig's List thing)
I feel dirty and excited all at once. ;-)
--------
According to my site meter,
Posted by: Liz
According to my site meter, search engines have stopped pulling up my blog. Do you have any idea why? I kinda miss the people looking for trysts documented and cellulosis. --------My observations about the holiday
Posted by: Liz
My observations about the holiday season:After Halloween, everyone goes, "Oh my god, it's only just November I can't believe everyone's putting up Christmas stuff already; earlier and earlier every year--it's ludicrous!"
Then at Christmas, everyone goes, "Holy shit, is it Christmas already? Wow, it really sneaks up on ya."
--------
Okay, the new Cat in
Posted by: Liz
Okay, the new Cat in the Hat movie will be awful. I can tell you this much because I saw parts of the Grinch. I say parts because, even though I was strapped into an airplane--with no where else to go and free headphones--when this movie came on, I couldn't bear to watch it. Awful awful. Mostly because they tried to smash a movie plot into a nice children's story. I think they just dissected it and then jammed in whatever nonsense and crap and extra characters and motivations they could think of. I shudder with anger at this, though I'm not exactly sure why. It just seems a hateful tribute to a good book. In any case, I knew I wouldn't be taking any kids I know to see this next atrocity when I glimpsed the preview featuring this: the Cat in the Hat is looking at a picture (which the audience can't see). He is visibly excited (in a non-child-like way), which we can tell by the way his tail rises up and his hat (the hat!) rises up in a double erection. Not that I don't think the ol' doctor didn't have a sick side to him (and would have perhaps enjoyed a double erection somewhere in Seuss land), this clearly is out of place. It gets worse. The cats asks, "Who is this!" and the boy sidles up behind him and says, "That's my mom." Ew ew ew. I hate this movie for existing and throwing up all over my nice memories of that book.so uh, anyway...
J and I are on a puppy chow kick. This is better than my chex mix kick, as it doesn't require the purchase of 3 boxes of chex, which I always thought was outrageous.
Mimi Smartypants returns. With pictures! Makes me want to adopt a baby right this minute. Maybe this whole giving birth thing is way overrated afterall. You can get an instant baby! That's some good stuff.
Halloween was great. Abby might link up to some pics, so if you're desperate you'll have to read her wonderful blog and bask in her wit and charm until (if) she decides to post our pretty faces all dressed in Tenenbaum.
--------
