Signs I might be "losing
Posted by: Liz
Signs I might be "losing it," as they say1. Called J last night to tell him I was on my way over to Krista's, as I was lonely and without TV. He asked if something happened to the TV he brought over earlier in the day, which was sitting in our living room in a place, where I noticed when I got home much later, that I stare at when opening the front door and subsequently pass innumerable times.
2. Made fun of the cat for not having "opposing thumbs," at which J laughed and started a mock battle between his thumbs. I eventually laughed too, but had to have him supply me with the real word, as I couldn't think of it.
3. Went to go to the dry cleaners this morning, thinking there was one right outside work. Walked by, but didn't see it. Thinking myself mistaken, I asked a coworker about close by cleaners. She also mentioned the phantom dry cleaner across the street, but I assured her I had checked out the location and there was no cleaning to be had. Walked out at lunch to see dry cleaner sitting, presumably where it had been since morning, snugly across the street from work.
4. Was trying to tell someone "22nd street," but could only get out, "secondy second street." It took me a full minute to remember "twenty" was the tricky word I was searching for.
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Possible titles for my future
Posted by: Liz
Possible titles for my future memoirs1. 147,395 Job Interviews Later
2. 50 Years, 1 Job: Memoirs of a Living Hell
3. Everything I Need to Know I Learned in My 50 Years as a Publicity Assistant. Except Editing.
4. Memoirs of the Publicist for A Horribly Written Harlequin Novel Masquerading as Women's Fiction and
Won't Generate Any Reviews Because Reviewers Have a "Thing" Agaist Reviewing Total Crap
5. How to Lower Your Sense of Self-Worth: A guide to writing cover letters, resumes, and going to job
interviews
6. A Depressed Job Existance: Better than starving to death!
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Falling asleep at my desk...
Posted by: Liz
Falling asleep at my desk...Yesterday was a big moving day and sort of J's and my first night in Our apartment. Of course we've spent a million nights in the apartment already, but now it is Ours. We switched my bed stuff to go in Kelly's old room, as she has the bigger, well-lit, closet room. We only moved what was necessary so it is pretty stark yet. Krista gave us some curtains to use temporarily as the ones I have are see through and the new room faces the street. Krista's curtains are bright green. On the way from J's apt to Our apartment, we found a pine dresser on the side of the road and took that home with us too. In the light you could tell that there are many reasons why this dresser may have been ont he side of the road. For instance, it is bright big bird yellow. So now with my solid blue sheets and comforter, our room looks like a preschooler's field trip to learn all about primary colors.
There was a big lightening storm right as we were going to bed. It was nice, but kept me awake, as did all the new sounds that come from the street. I have been pinned against the backyard this whole time! I remained ignorant of the street noise! It is very loud. And everything else in the apartment is in disarray, which Max thinks is utterly fascinating, so I had to get up twice during the night for him--once to upright drawers he toppled and once to kick him out of the back room where he was happily playing with the windchimes. Then, after finally drifting off to sleep, I was awoken by chatter on the front porch. Aparently the landlord's son and his buddys were having a great ol' talk at 2:30 am. I let it go for a while, but by three they were yelling into a downstairs window trying to wake up the younger brother and I had to do the irritable crazy upstairs neighbor thing and stick my head out the window to ask them to please keep it down. Which they did very quickly, thank god. After that, it was smooth sailing to 6:30 when the trash guys came barreling down the street.
We might have to move back into smaller, darker, closetless room for my sanity's sake.
PS on Sat night: apparently, I narrowly missed David Byrne, who showed up at the bar after we left. damn
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Dave Eggers/Sarah Vowel Reading at
Posted by: Liz
Dave Eggers/Sarah Vowel Reading at Tonic: Sat 26It was a great night. One that is still leaving a tingling fingerprint on my heart, making me want to do something productive. So I guess I’ll do this.
I met J after school and we went for a quick dinner at Zen Palate. I was confined to these awful $5 high heel sandals I had, since my other ones broke, and they were really fucking up my feet with a badly placed seam that dug in along the ball of my foot. We found some comfortable flip flops and J bought them for me (to my immense relief), playing the role of the heroic boyfriend who saves the lady from awful, crippling pain. Thank god for him. We made our way down to Tonic where the event was taking place. It was early, but there were a few scattered people waiting outside. All the McSweeney’s people were already there, setting up inside.
There was a prolonged kerfuffle about the amount of chairs available. Even thought the promised 60 were set up, it still left half the room empty, meaning the 100 others the room’s capacity would allow would have to stand. From my perspective, this was not that big of a deal. Yes, it is inconvenient, and given the choice, sitting down is generally preferred to standing, but given the caliber of people reading this evening, I hardly doubted people would mind standing. But Dave had other ideas. People standing just really rubbed him the wrong way. And I don’t mean to sound as though he were being unduly unreasonable about the issue, but he was really troubled by the idea that there would be a standing crowd. It was almost as though he couldn’t admit to himself that the people (his fans) like him enough to genuinely not care about standing. It almost pained him to think about this. Dave stressing out just causes Scott and Ted to stress out, which causes everyone else to stress out. The people at Tonic were being as understanding as possible without completely losing it at this stress. But no matter. After much running around, things went off fine (Krista and J even pulled a miracle move and came up with 40 more chairs for $30 after scouting the neighborhood. Unfortunately we weren’t able to use them, but that’s highly impressive none the less.)
Question: What do Dave Eggers and Voldemort have in common?
Answer: People are afraid to use their full names. Much like "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named," Dave is referred to (by those close to him) only by "Dave" or general nods in his direction. When introducing herself, his publicist told me she was "that guy's" pubilcist. I understand this, mostly.
Dave held a brief meeting before the reading about the nonprofit modeled after 826 Valencia he wants to start in New York. We were charging people as they went into the meeting to avoid confusion later. There was a tremendous line formed by this point and I was sure that everybody was going to take advantage of this meeting to get in early. After all, they just had to say they were interested in the nonprofit and they could have slipped into a chair in the air conditioned room to listen to Dave speak for 30 minutes and then be secured a great space for the following reading. But either morality or ignorance kept the vast crowd at bay and only about 30 people slipped in early. By the time the reading started, it was apparent the line held way more people than were going to be allowed inside. I wriggled inside and ended up at a stool for the readings.
Sarah read first and did this fantastic piece on the battle hymnal. She is such an amazing person to look at and hear. She is hard to see in separate pieces; like she exists only as the whole of her parts and not singularly at all. Very powerful, yet not domineering, presence.
Then a McSweeney’s editor read a piece on his dad, which was very funny.
Finally Dave read. He talked a bit more about his nonprofit, then read a short story from the perspective of a 13-year-old boy who is sort of in love with his 50-year-old neighbor, but doesn’t quite have the emotional maturity to figure out his feelings or actions relating to his fascination. A lot of it read sort of like a boy version of the Steven the dog letters he wrote for issue 5.
A band played some music and Dave went out to sign books and whatnot. I noticed Janeane Garafalo’s name on the guest list and Dan confirmed that she did in fact show up, with punky white hair. Man, wish I’d had the chance to meet her.
Dave signed books like only he can: self-consciously, graciously, and with careful flippancy. One guy brought a blank canvas on which Dave drew a canary-like bird with wooden planks instead of feet. At the top he wrote, “I tried.”
After everything settled, the McSweeney’s crowd and others made it to a little bar in the East Village. Poor Mark is only 18 and made the mistake of admitting that when the bouncer asked him his age. J offered to forget the after party and go get ice cream with him, but the idea was so so so very far from what I wanted to do that I didn’t let him consider it for long. I mean, I felt bad for the guy, but there was no way I was missing out on this time to chill with these amazing people.
Ben Greenman showed up and I chatted with him for a little while. I mostly ended up talking with Sloan, Dave’s publicist at Vintage. It turns out we know a few people in common and we chatted publicity/publishing shop and it felt nice. Although talking with her is like talking to someone from a different planet, where the language is the same but the experience each of us are having could not be more starkly different. She is truly a cool person. I fell a little in love with her the way I do with most people from Random House. I can’t help it. I have a school girl crush on the whole publishing house. I love all the components that make it up. I get weak in the knees. But it only encourages my adoration when all the people I meet from there are dynamic, well-adjusted people with great ideas and intelligent things to say. I almost have too much respect for Sloan to be entirely jealous of her, but talking with her nonetheless made me sad to think about my job. blech. Anyway, J had class in the morning, so we left pretty early to get some ice cream and head home. It wasn’t until I was in bed later, lying in the darkness and thinking about the evening that I desperately wished I had stayed longer. There was such a nice vibe of relaxed people and general good will. I feel so enlivened to even get to experience things like this.
Nights like this I could weep at sheer luck that brought me to New York, to Brooklyn, the the Store, to J, to these events, to my life added up at that exact moment. It was a joy of knowing my life would have always felt something empty if I had not experienced what I did, met who I met. I need these moments to get me through the rest of the crowded subway/desperately poor/miserable job/dirty city days. Because they do more than balance—they make everything worth it. People will stand and stand.
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22 Text Messages I Deleted
Posted by: Liz
22 Text Messages I Deleted From My Cell Phone TodayI THINK JENNIE AND GABE MADE OUT!
DUDE! LEFT EM EMBRASED LAYIN ON THE MATRES IN THE LIVIN ROOM! I M DYIN
Hello back!
GOIN 2 MEXICO FRIDAY!
WISH U WERE HERE 2 PASS THIS DIRTY MARTINI OFF 2…EWWWW!
UP? WHAT? WHO?
U SHUTUP BITCH!
4 U! SO MUCH FUN IN THE RAIN EVEN!!
YEAH
TASTI D?
BARFOLA
U GOTA CUM!
DUNNO
PUK
LOOK AT US GO!
HERCULES…FINALLY
STALLED TRAIN!
Thanks
YEP
Fuckin’ drunk Moroccan just called!
R u ok?
Oh good, pretend its sunny!
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Indlugent Self-Googling Here's what I'd
Posted by: Liz
Indlugent Self-GooglingHere's what I'd look like if I graduated in the MHS class of 1980!
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Post in which I curse
Posted by: Liz
Post in which I curse inexplicably a whole goddamn lotAfter photocopying numerous copies of a review with a cupcake in the ajoining picture, I decided my night needed cupcakes in it. Kelly was feeling down and past experience has told us that the only way to fight the blues is with mood-enhancing alcohol. So our evening was filled with much cupcake baking and dirty martini making (not for Kelly, who decided to go the way of the fruit to flavor her vodka. On my suggestion, she made this peach martini peach/triple sec/vodka/ice blender drink that was not as delicious as the version I saw made on the food channel*. But we are no Bobby Flay. Not even stacked one top of the other and weilding grilling tongs and receipes for shitake shish kabobs.)
Everything was going along just fine until I saw a crawly little bug by the sink.
I went to smash it with an old sponge laying there and holy goddamn shit if a whole colony of little crawly bugs didn't spread like crazy from under their safe little spongey home. I gave a good healthy girl scream and Kelly managed to subdue me and fix the problem. She's amazing like that--she just springs into action and is all the efficient little bug-killing machine. She found bug spray and sprayed the fuck out of the cracks in the wall and scrubbed everything down. What will I do without her? I can't help but think she's just keeping a running tally in her head of all the things she gets to run away from when she moves.
For a little while last night we were trying to decide whether Max is blind or retarded or something. We couldn't get him to track objects we were dangling in front of him and all he wanted to do was sleep. But J came over later and proved by dangling a piece of pizza up in the air that he tracked things just fine; he just tracks them in his own time, when he feels like it. I guess that's why he's a cat.
*oh, ha ha, apparently the mix up is on my part here! Apologies all around. The real recipe is for peach margaritas and is really made from
2 parts silver tequila
1 lime, juiced
1 1/2 parts peach schnapps
1/4 cup White Peach Puree
2 white peaches, sliced
Ice
But these are the mistakes you make when you watch Oprah and Bobby Flay one right after the other and Oprah happens to make watermelon martinis Either way, I forgot the goddamn lime juice.
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My passion is really whatever
Posted by: Liz
My passion is really whatever job you're talking to me about. And it always has been.One of the more frustrating things about being young and trying to figure out what direction to take my life in is narrowing down my dream to one thing at a time in order to get through interview processes. I don’t think I’m necessarily being duplicitous in my intentions when I declare my lifelong passion for something—it’s just that I have so many of these passions! I was really jealous of the people who knew right from the beginning that they wanted to work in children’s books and then did everything they could until they landed the job. I tried that with magazine editorial but was finally kicked into some no man’s land of desperation in the search for happiness behind a desk. Here are thing I would drop everything for the chance to do:
Editorial (book or mag)
Literary scouting
Random House (any division. I’m hopelessly in love)
Children’s books (any area. This would make me happy all over, too)
These are all things that, if they were to fall into my lap right now, I could consider doing for a long period of time, well into my future. There are other things (publicity for a different publisher, administrative staff) that are more appealing than what I am doing now, but I can’t see long term. Then there are the things like the bed and breakfast idea where I can instantly see a merging of my life and work and I feel relaxed in the shoulders. How can one person be open to and excited about many things and not have any of them? I’m tired of waiting for others. At lease with the bed and breakfast idea I can move forward on my own steam.
"You mean Uncle Robbie?" Holy
Posted by: Liz
"You mean Uncle Robbie?"Holy jeeze! I forgot the most exciting part of the weekend (aside from adopting Max, that is. High five, little kittenman):
We were all sitting down to a fine dinner at my favorite pressed sandwich place on Saturday evening, when who should walk in with a hip girl on his arm, but Michael Showalter, a.k.a the guy who played Doug on MTV's The State! J and both took him in and turned to each other to mouth simultaneously, "It's the guy from The State!"
To me, this is much more exciting than my other celebrity sightings, perhaps even topping the charts. Mr. Big on the subway was fun, Martha Stewart sipping wine adrenaline* pumping, Lenny Kravitz was exciting I must say, but none of them quite hold the personal meaning Doug-From-The-State does. I spent a great deal of my high school years watching and quoting that show. My friend Dave and I thought the Blueberry Johnson skit was hilarious and would yell "My editing skills, Gina? I'm a fucking blueberry!" at each other ceaselessly. Oh man, I loved that show. I love Michael Showalter. I stared a lot during dinner. Y'know when you're on a road trip and you pass cows and for some reason it's really funny (or something, you do it anyway) to go, "MOOOOO!" at the passing bovine? I get that way about celebrities. It really took everything I had not to say "I'm outta heeee-eere," when he finally got up to leave. Awesome.
*Wouldn't "Adrenaline" be a pretty name if it didn't hold other meaning? It would be pronounced Adrenaleen or Adrenalyne, I think. But you could choose. Like Caroline.
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This weekend is the big
Posted by: Liz
This weekend is the big move. Kelly is moving all her stuff out on Saturday and then J's moving all his stuff in. I'm pretty excited about it all. Plus Krista's going to be living with a new guy named Igor and I think we all need a person named Igor in our lives.I've decided that I would like to open a bed and breakfast. This seems like a good goal and something I can feasibly work towards. Am I too young to have a bed and breakfast? All the ones I've been to are run by retired couples. I think I'll retire this afternoon. I have a good couple hundred bucks in my 401K.
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Max The new addition to
Posted by: Liz
MaxThe new addition to our family:
1. Constantly wears a tuxedo
2. Splays his hands often, as though in a high five to no one in particular
3. Chirps like a bird
4. Is real shiny
5. Allows you to hold him like a baby or drape him around your neck
6. Makes Kelly sneeze
7. Chews on my fingers
8. Is so goddamn cute. No seriously, like the cutest thing you've ever seen ever. Smart, too. Though he might have ear mites.
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This is a disturbing article
Posted by: Liz
This is a disturbing article spiked with ridiculous names. Also, who knew you could buy large quantities of corbra venum at your local hardware store? --------Ooo, found it! "To those
Posted by: Liz
Ooo, found it!"To those of you who do not read, attend the Theater, listen to uncensored radio programs or know anything of the world in which we live - it is perhaps necessary to introduce myself."
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"You're a real strudel!" Somehow
Posted by: Liz
"You're a real strudel!"Somehow I have made it 24 years on this earth without really seeing Marilyn Monroe actually perform. I'm sure I've seen the scene where her skirt all flies up over the subway grate, but it's possible I have just seem stills of that. Also, I mostly picture Andy Warhol's rendition of her. But the other night, I finally got my first good look at the girl. I was over at my cousin's place and flipped on the ol TiVo to see what was playing. I got sucked right into "How To Marry A Millionaire," a great old movie (I might deign to call it archaic in marital values if I wasn't currently working on a British novel with almost the exact same plot line. In fact, I believe one of the quotes I have for the press release mentions this movie. So we'll just call this research.)
In any case, I was blown away by our girl! She really is something else. I had her personal pegged all wrong. I don't know if I was expecting a stronger Madonna resemblance or what, but she is so teeny tiny! And her voice sounds exactly like someone impersonating her! I guess I never realized that whispery, movey lips thing was real. Huh. She plays this ditzy blonde who's blind as a bat without her glasses, but is so self-conscious she won't wear them in public in case she were to bump into an eligible bachelor. Except it's like "She's All That" in reverse: Surprise! Beautiful glasses on a beautiful girl somehow don't manage to cancel into ugly.
And then last night I saw "All About Eve." Another great one, with a little role for Marilyn. The opening narration had a great line I can't quite remember, but it's something wonderfully pretentious like, "In case you never read a newspaper, have never opened a book, or are otherwise completely ignorant of the world around you, let me introduce myself." I want to use that line on someone someday.
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Revenge of the sick day
Posted by: Liz
Revenge of the sick dayHa ha! You didn’t think I’d do it, did you? I didn’t know until after my morning shower, but I felt decidedly better after deciding to take a sick day and stay in bed with my sweetie. It was a much-needed day of catching up on um, important things. But today I am back at work and feeling quite nauseous.
Yesterday on 60 Minutes II, they did a special on Nigella Lawson (of “Nigella Bites” fame) and she has almost the saddest history I’ve ever heard. She lost her mother to cancer, then a little while later, her sister. After these tragedies, she falls in love and marries a man who ends up getting diagnosed with cancer as well. They drew out this part of the segment, but eventually he succumbed to the disease, too and died. Not only the woman who gave you life, but then your sibling. And then the man you envision your future with. Awful. I cried and cried.
And on a lighter note
I was flipping channels and landed in the middle of a new reality dating show. This one is a little weird and has an omnipotent journal dictating the direction of the date. As in, “The journal told Dave to go to the museum” or “The journal held another surprise for Julie.” The whole thing was way cheesy, but a little refreshing. Instead of smarmy cruised and alcohol-laden hot tubbing, the journal had this couple doing team projects and adrenaline-pumping challenges together. But in a major turning point, the journal reveals to the girl that the guy has been training for several months to participate in a triathlon to benefit the red cross (someone’s donating a huge chunk of money if he does it in a certain amount of time). To help him out, she has to get 100 people in one hour to kiss a piece of paper. If she doesn’t do it, the guy has to CARRY HER ON HIS BACK through the triathlon. Now, I don’t know about you, but the thought of someone having to CARRY ME through a triathlon is mortifying enough to make me puke. You would think this would be all kinds of a motivator for this woman to work her ass off for an hour. But from the opening timid requests to the helpless flailing at passing people, we quickly learn this woman is the worst woman ever. She falls 8 kisses short. So now the guy has to carry her on his back through a triathlon. I don’t know if you got that, but ON HIS BACK! THROUGH A TRIATHLON. Which he does, her looking like the most worthless piece of crap ever. What could possibly be going through his mind as he lugs this woman around, jogging up a hill, mind you…he trains for months and months and she can’t even get a couple lousy kisses on a piece of paper? Good god. But the worst is yet to come. After all that (he completes the race with 10 seconds to spare) they have a day apart and then must choose whether to meet each other at the museum in a gesture of wanting to continue dating. He shows up (“I didn’t want to leave her standing there alone.”) and the bitch—who, if you’ll recall, just made him carry her through a triathlon—decides that she actually doesn’t want to go on another date with him. Daaaaaaamn! Because if there has ever been anyone who owes anyone anything, it’s that woman and it’s a second date.
And on a more disturbing note
Fox news reported on guys who go paintball hunting. Their prey: naked women who run around in front of them and try to avoid the pellets. The hunters claim it’s innocent fun. The proprietor claims the hunters are harmless: “the geeks of America.” Opponents are afraid this “game” sends the wrong message about violence against women. You think?
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Oh goodness, how did it
Posted by: Liz
Oh goodness, how did it get to be 5:07 already? After an entire day of creeping, it is finally almost time to leave this place. Might need a mental health day tomorrow...feeling very disillusioned. --------Oh today feels so very
Posted by: Liz
Oh today feels so very blah. Ysterday everything seemed to glow with such promise: reviews were coming in for books I have little hope for, I finally made it to my favorite Monday night yoga class, J wasn't too late coming home from work, "For Love or Money 2" premiered, we read some Harry Potter. Today's all backslide: editors diminishing the value of received reviews, my coffee spilled all over my bag (and then tasted so horrific--due to some mildewy nature of the cup I brought it in--that I had to throw it away), I owe the IRS an additional $150(!!!), work peeps are sorta cranky, and my hopefullness concerning my future well-being has fallen into a noticeable ebb. And neither Kelly nor J will be home til late, so I'm off to spend time at my cousin's apartment, which I'm housesitting. Normally this is a very fun activity, but today it just feels lonely. --------Because everything in her home
Posted by: Liz
Because everything in her home is waterproof, the housewife of 2000 can do her daily cleaning with a hose.The future we never had!
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Evil blogger twin Also, Google
Posted by: Liz
Evil blogger twinAlso, Google turns up lots of pages when you search "Where do sesame seeds come from?" One of which is from this Liz's blog. Don't you think it's weird that her blog's name is so close to mine? And that she wondered about sesame seeds about the same time as me! I'll have to do research on this so-called Liz character.
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Sesamum While eating bread at
Posted by: Liz
SesamumWhile eating bread at the end-of-the-program picnic for BBBS, my Little Sister's little brother (whew! got that?) asked about sesame seeds. I'm all for giving straight forward answers to young kids who ask them--encourage the curiousity, I say!--but I realized I had NO IDEA where sesame seeds come from? What does a sesame plant look like? No one knew! No one at the picnic, no one at a BBQ I went to in NJ later, no one at work! But the McCormick Spice company knows:
Sesame seed is the clean, dried seed of Sesamum indicum L. The slightly hard, flat, oval, small, smooth and shiny, dehulled, creamy-white seeds have a nutlike odor and an agreeable nutty taste. The sesame seed plant is an annual herb having an oblong shaped pod, containing the small, creamy-white seeds, varying in size up to 3.5 mm (1/8 inch)
I can't find a picture, but you can bet I'm looking. My Little Sister's little brother did have the smarts enough to comment, "It sounds like Sesame Street!" True.
Another funny Big Sister moment: We were all filling out questionaires with questions like "What did you find most valuable about your experience?" and so forth. My Little Sister got stuck on a couple of questions, mostly relating to how our time together helped her change or what specifically I did to enhance her life (the questionaires were a bit on the leading side). I helped rephrase the questions, but told her she'd have to answer those on her own. Finally she showed me her finished questionaire. For "Tell about a time when your Big helped you out" she wrote "When I was sick, she called me and that made me feel better."
"But that never happened!" I said, "You weren't sick and I didn't call."
"Well," she said shrugging, "I couldn't think of anything else."
Maybe I'm just an awful big sister, but I thought that was hilarious. After much hemming and hawing, I decided to stick out the program and continue mentoring in the autumn. Aren't I community oriented?
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My gruesome other blog... Spellcheck
Posted by: Liz
My gruesome other blog...Spellcheck would turn this blog at blogspot.com to blob at bloodspot.com
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It's my resting face! One
Posted by: Liz
It's my resting face!One of my biggest pet peeves is men passing me on the street and telling me to smile. Why do they assume they know better than me when I need to smile? Not to mention that I'm particularly sensitive about my resting face, which is admittedly rather grumpy looking. It has led to a lot of people saying they thought I hated them or was glaring at them when in truth I was probably staring into space and thinking about eating sushi for lunch. What can you do? But in any case, Kelly just told me that she spent $100 (!) on cosmetics, and half-jokingly blamed it on a man in the elevator who told her she looked "down in the dumps." (Which was actually her sleeply look, from staying up late last night going to this). In any case, this happens all the time to females I know and they all hate it. A good way to tell whether something's completely sexist is to switch it up. How completely inappropriate would it have been for Kelly to tell the man he looked sad? Or to pass a guy on the street and tell him to smile a bit! so dumb...
Here's some great citeria (while I'm on this rare kick) for deciding the woman-friendly nature of a film, book, comic book, etc. (I got this from some interview years ago with some female comic book writer in an interview with Ms. or Bust or something. I'm a wealth of handy references!) The book/movie in question must:
1. Have more than one female character
2. ...who talk to one another
3. ...about something other than men
You would be AMAZED at how many things don't meet these criteria. Absolutely floored. Not that it always means good things. I thought of the criteria while watching the Richard 5 performance last night. The (only) two women talk (in french) to each other about English vocabulary. But then she is married off in the end to a man she's never spoken to. Take what you can get, I guess.
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For a socially redeeming laugh>
Posted by: Liz
For a socially redeeming laugh>go to www.google.com and type: weapons of mass destruction without quotation marks
and click the "I'm feeling lucky" button. Be sure to read the whole error message carefully
:-)
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Time to leave work early?
Posted by: Liz
Time to leave work early?Blogger posts read about 6 minutes faster than my computer's clock...
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Thank you for improving my
Posted by: Liz
Thank you for improving my face! Thank you for improving my life!Whenever I think the New Yorker can't get any better, or when I get sidetracked reading so many books I can't keep up on my magazines and I let a new New Yorker sit there, the whole time thinking, "I'm not missing anything too huge," it turns out I'm missing fantastic "Talk of the Town" articles about Dr. and Mrs. Zizmor!
One time late at night, I was laughing and pointing out one such Dr. Z ad to J and some crazy drunk guy got all up in my face because he thought I was laughing and pointing at him. J had to defend me. Even though his mode of defense was enduring a painfully awkward subway ride for 20 minutes while J stared him down and failed to react to the drunk guy's taunts. If it had been up to me, we would have just switched train cars. Not to imply the Doctor or his lovely wife (or his horrendously scary patient) had anything to do with this attack. Dr. Z!
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From the Dept. of Holy
Posted by: Liz
From the Dept. of Holy Shit!Are you kidding me? It's always a weird feeling when something happens that reads exactly like a poor made for TV movie, but it REALLY HAPPENED. It's because all those movies take the most riculous circumstances and build awful one-dimensional characters to flit around the interesting topic. But holy bejeezus, when it's real, you get business like this! (Also, besides bad made for tv movie, it could also be bad tv sitcom pilot: "80's Man! Alive in the 21 century, living in 1984!") Think of everything that's happened! I bet he's gonna have a good time watching "We Are the 80s!" on VH1, but he might be sad by what's happened to Michael Jackson over the past 20 years. Also, "Pepsi" was his second word? If that isn't the best statement of the powerful subversiveness of branding then I I'll eat my Sprite Remix, can and all. (Also, he could be a bad commercial for Pepsi. If only there'd been cameras in the room! He could have made millions!). More questions: did they pay for him to be kept alive for 20 years? How are they going to catch him up on everything? 9/11? Britney Spears? Where do you even start? A newspaper? The internet?(!!)
Man wakes after 19 years in coma
July 9, 2003 | MOUNTAIN VIEW, Ark. (AP) -- The words began tumbling out -- at first just a few nouns and eventually a torrent of phrases.
Terry Wallis, who had been in a coma since a 1984 car accident, regained consciousness last month to the surprise of doctors and the delight of his family, including his mother, who heard his first word in 19 years.
"He started out with 'Mom' and surprised her and then it was 'Pepsi' and then it was 'milk.' And now it's anything he wants to say," Stone County Nursing and Rehabilitation Center social director Alesha Badgley said Tuesday.
His mother, Angilee Wallis, called her son's return to consciousness a miracle: "I couldn't tell you my first thought, I just fell over on the floor," she said.
Terry Wallis, now 39, was riding with a friend in July 1984 when their car left the road and plunged into a creek. Wallis and his friend were found the next day underneath a bridge. The friend was dead and Wallis was comatose.
Wallis' daughter, Amber, was born shortly before the accident, and the coma dragged on for almost two decades. She is now 19 and her dad has said he wants to walk again, for her. He is a quadriplegic as a result of the crash.
"It's been hard dealing with it, it's been hard realizing the man I married can't be there," said Wallis' wife, Sandi. "We all, the whole family, missed out on his company."
The silence ended June 12 when Wallis uttered his first word. He was able to talk a little more a day later and has improved ever since.
Terry's father, Jerry Wallis, said his son talks almost nonstop now, but it seems as though time stopped for him after the wreck. Terry still believes Ronald Reagan is the president.
Terry has asked to speak to his grandmother, who died several years ago, and even recited her phone number -- something everyone else in the family had forgotten.
"You see, he's still back in 1984," said Jerry Wallis.
For the Wallis family, Terry's return to consciousness has been a blessing.
Perry Wallis, Terry' brother, said, "Just to put it bluntly, it was pure hell to see your brother laying there, not knowing if you'll ever talk to him again."
The timing of the recovery also has raised eyebrows.
"It's kind of peculiar. He wrecked on Friday the 13th and 19 years later he started talking on Friday the 13th," Jerry Wallis said.
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HP in NYT Go books!
Posted by: Liz
HP in NYTGo books! This kills me... I mean in a great way.
Harry Potter Novel Tops Charts in France
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Filed at 2:27 p.m. ET
PARIS (AP) -- The latest Harry Potter novel has become the first book in English ever to be No. 1 on France's best seller list.
Since the release of J.K. Rowling's ``Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix'' on June 21, more than 41,000 copies have been sold in France, according to Ipsos polling institute.
Sophie Martin, the institute's culture director, said she was surprised at the book's popularity.
``There was so much curiosity,'' she said. ``People waited with great impatience in France.''
The French translation of the fifth novel about teenage sorcerer Harry Potter's adventures will only appear on Dec. 3.
Martin attributed the rush to read the book mainly to publicity -- rather than an elevated level of English or a desire for literature in the original language.
Ruth Baxter, assistant manager at the English-language bookstore WH Smith in Paris, said a lot of French people who bought the book didn't appear to be bilingual.
``I have never seen anything like that in 12 years,'' she said of the sales.
In Britain, nationwide bookstore WH Smith said ``Order of the Phoenix'' was its fastest selling book ever. Sales also set records in the United States: Scholastic Inc., the U.S. publisher, said it had ordered 800,000 more copies of the fifth installment, bringing the total in print to 9.3 million.
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Welcome to the final segments
Posted by: Liz
Welcome to the final segments of the new Fox reality show "The Job" where 50 wonderfully talented and extremely desperate candidates battle for an entry-level position at an esteemed publishing house. While the candidates never actually meet one another, they engage in a fierce battle of psychic transmission, each trying to out-psych the others by resorting to varying levels of Hoping, Praying, Bargaining, and even...Voodoo! Will candidates fall under the spell of the dark forces and wish bad upon their competitors or will they make use of the light forces to bring up their own confidences? Edge of your seat entertainment!In the most exciting elimination round yet, our two top Editors had to let go all but a small selection of the best candidates to move on to the fourth and final round, The Second Interview. Tensions ran high as the anxious bunch waited in their Seclusion Cubicles in various buildings around the city for the Phone Call Ceremony. The Editors called forth each applicant one at a time to deliver the news. Who would be staying and who would be packing up their resume attaches and heading home jobless?
When we last left them, Liz had played a risky card with her reader's reports--after finding out that both manuscripts had been bought by competing publishing houses--and recommended both of them, not knowing if the Editors regretted missing the books...or hated them!! And what will the Editors make of Karie's decision to remove her "ring of loyalty to Random House" and send it to them with her thank you note? Will it prove to be the move that wins her the job...or proves she's coming on too strong?
Here's a sneak peak at the latest Phone Call Ceremony:
The Editors: First of all, we just want to tell you that we saw a lot of great candidates.
Liz: Uh huh
TE: And that we really appreciate your reader's reports.
Liz: Oh, thank you.
TE: Everyone we have seen has been so great; its an impressive caliber of candidates we have this time around.
Liz: mm
TE: I mean, Karie took off her loyalty ring for us!
Liz: oh, yeah...uh
TE: Anyway, we had to narrow it down to a select few people to move onto this next phase and it was a very difficult decision. I had a great time on our fantasy interview. I really got to see your fun side a bit there.
Liz: Fantasy interview?
TE: Well, anyway. You are one of these candidates! We would like to meet with you either today or tomorrow and introduce you to Our Boss.
Whew! Liz makes the cut at the last second! Stay tuned next week for the most shocking Phone Ceremony EVER and the grand finale when The Editors and their Boss narrow the selection to ONE candidate, who will win the title of Assistant!
--------Oh yeah! Also, while lying
Posted by: Liz
Oh yeah!Also, while lying around on Sunday with J, watching a great documentary on comic book heros on the History channel, Scott came running into tell us that Lenny Kravitz was dining right outside. We all ran to Krista's window and lo and behold, there was the man himself enjoying a quiet organic dinner at Second Helpings with a small entourage of younger people (his daughter and friends?) J hurt his shoulder running to get the digital camera, but he got some awesome shots of Lenny's head.
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Best paragraph from today's NY
Posted by: Liz
Best paragraph from today's NY Times thus far"So many people suffer from itch," said Dr. Gil Yosipovitch, an associate professor of dermatology at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem, N.C., who has coordinated several international itch conferences. But financing for itch research is hard to come by, and effective treatment options for itchy patients are quite limited. "I do believe that our patients deserve better," Dr. Yosipovitch said.
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