I'm not a stalker, I
Posted by: Liz
I'm not a stalker, I swearSometimes I am a voracious Googler. The urge really comes and goes in waves and is often quite random, though sometimes very satisfying. Where did all these random people of my past go? Often, the person’s name is too common and I come up with a lot of marriage certificates from the 1920s or something, but every so often I find exactly what I’m looking for.
Especially gratifying:
Roman Hollowell, a boy I went to elementary school with, who was a fast runner back then and dreamed of being a football player—a future our 8-year-old minds had no doubt would come to be: he’s a football player for the Colorado Crush ! Well, for arena football, which J says is fake. But football!
Tel Cary-Sadler, a boy I went to middle school with, who is now attending Harvard Law School and stood up to a racist professor! His best friend was my first boyfriend in 6th grade, but alas, too many Peter Baer’s to sort through.
Warren Clark, a friend from college. This is everything you hope for when you google someone’s name! Oh the wonderful hilarity!
Not so gratifying:
I can never find enough info on by old best friend, Briana Snow just random stuff from her college years (and some horses of the same name). I have dreams about seeing her again and I all the dreams I am so excited to see her and tell her that I keep having dreams about seeing her. I’m sure I could just call her parents and e-mail her, but that seems very active. What would I say?
Amber Pritchett, an old friend from middle school. She pulled away from us the last year of school and looking back on it I wonder what happened to her during that time.
I think this activity is mainly about seeing if my perceptions of people I held in the past are still true. It feels nice when someone you thought was talented and smart turns out to be so. Or a good football player. It speaks to something non-ephemeral in people’s personalities, I suppose. But maybe I’d be just as excited if Roman had turned out to be a famous artist or Tel had become an renowned tarot card reader. Google kind of confirms I knew these people, and that they grew up, and that they continue to be real and mutable.
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Best NY Times paragraph today
Posted by: Liz
Best NY Times paragraph todayOne omnipresent threat is avocado rustlers, who sneak into groves at night and strip the trees or drive off with a field bin. "We call it `grand theft avo,' " said Nile Peterson, a manager for Calavo. "It's a constant problem, especially when prices are high. I've heard of thieves so bold they tell the workers, `We're coming to steal these avocados, and if you don't like it we'll kill you.' "
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Things that happened today when
Posted by: Liz
Things that happened today when I brought Author in to be interviewed by Radio Host (a psychotherapist who also hosts a radio show out of his office three times a week. Y'know...like Frasier.):1. His assistant knew who Author was, having attended a concert of hers some years ago, and made no less than five references to prior meeting.
2. Radio Host asked if I had an extra book. I did not.
3. Radio Host asked if I had an extra press release. I did not.
4. I felt like a bad pubilcist (But had already sent 3 books with press material, so didn't think it was necessary)
5. They found extra books and press releases.
6. Radio Host says, "So...what's this book about?"
7. During pre-interview, Radio Host makes Author use me as an example of singing your SpirtSong and I am forced into a mortifying moment where I am singing in a radio station about fruitsalad I had for breakfast.
8. Not happy with the result, Radio Host tries to lead me through a similar exercise, this time with me attempting to sing what I'm feeling at the moment. I am forced into another mortifying moment where I am singing in a radio station about not knowing what to sing.
9. Radio Host plays us something from a tape that sounds like a mix between a Halloween haunted house sound effects tape and cats giving birth. He tells us it's from a class he taught where he had 100 people pretend they were an animal (any animal at all "You could be a lion with talons! It didn't matter!") who was mortally wounded. They were all to make the noise they would create if they were looking for a final place to die.
10. I realize I am going to be in the studio for the entire interview.
11. He tells his assistant to check if he has an appointment at 2. She leaves the room and comes back forgetting what he asked her to do. I remind her.
12. Radio Host offers me a job.
13. His assistant instructs a different girl how to properly gather the interviewee's contact information. We are all within a few feet of each other, but the girl then recites to Author verbatim what the assistant told her to say, creating a weird Twilght Zone effect.
14. We prepare further and find out that the interview is during their pledge drive.
15. Radio Host asks me if I like my job. Flustered, thinking my "resting face" is throwing off bad vibes again, I say I like publishing and books. He asks if they pay me more than 30K, and I laugh and say no. He says he's serious about the job, he likes the way I think, and that he'd pay me 30K, his assistant's leaving.
15. I tell him I'd need more information while secretly seriously consider the offer
16. The interview goes well. His assistant and I are forced to sing into the mirophone in a repeat of the earlier exercise. He makes his assistant sing words.
17. I almost faint because I'm so scared he's going to make me sing.
18. The gods are smiling at me and he doesn't ask me to do so. (fruitsalad)
19. He gets 4 callers to sing at the same time as all of us in the studio and something breaks, creating a good 15 seconds of feedback, Which Radio Host blames on aliens interfering with the satellite.
20. We succeed the 2nd time.
21. The interview ends with 10 minutes of him pleading for money for the station.
22. Author uses the restroom and Radio Host reiterates the job offer, telling me to call him.
23. On the way to the subway Author tells me she's mentally preparing for Oprah. Verbal affirmations help her see a fortuitious outcome.
24. A tall black woman dressed only in slight shards of black leather across the appropriate areas boards the train and sits next to us.
25. Author says, "Well, I guess we're in New York!"
