Pay For Your Weenie

Wired just had an article about "freeconomics" and the future of "free". It got me thinking of how much I dislike free thing.

I don't use the 10 cups get one free cards, I don't like coupons, sales, or discounts. I really hate those free movie screenings where you get the pass by going to a store, and I avoid free samples.

I want to pay what things cost and I don't want to be tricked into taking something for "free" when it's actually being paid for by other people. Free samples are handed out because they know that more people will buy the cocktail weenies after tasting them. Maybe you won't, but other people will. So now those other people are paying for your weenie. I don't want strangers subsidizing my weenies. If I want a weenie, I'll buy a weenie.

The counter-argument is of course that you *do* want a free weenie, and there is nothing wrong with taking a weenie if it is offered to you. But of course that weenie isn't free, and everyone who buys a weenie is actually paying for that weenie. The profits of the company cover the promotional events, and that includes handing out weenies. Taking the free weenie, like shoplifting, raises the price of the weenie.

Loyalty cards are a bribe. "If you buy 10 cups, I'll give you a free one." Yeah? Really? How about you just figure out how to serve the best fucking coffee I've ever had, so that I have no choice but to come back? Quality, not discounts. Coupons are a trick. "Buy this thing you don't want because we've reduced our profit margin from 30% to just 23%!!!" Have you ever been to those free screenings? Not only packed, but it's the worst audience ever because what do they care? They got in for FREE! No thanks, I like using the $9.50 ticket price as a filter. Do you want to see the film? Yeah, how about for $10 bucks? No? Then I guess you didn't really want to see it. High ticket prices have kept me from seeing bad movies.

It comes down to the fact that cost is rarely a factor in choosing to make a purchase. I would rather pay more for something made correctly and that I like. (Sure, I look for deals on airfare and computers.) It's not worth the effort to juggle loyalty cards, carry coupons, and deal the herds and guilt-complex of a free sample. When I want a weenie, I just want to pay for my weenie and move on.