Vogz: November 2006 Archives

Nothin' says "bachelor meal" like gringo food. And nothing says "gringo" like butchering the names of Latino dishes.

Here we manage to mangle both "Calabacitas" (a delicious pan fried combo of corn, squash, beans and rice) and "Chilequilles" or "soggy nacho enchiladas" to the pedestrian gringo. We made this one recipe and topped it off with an egg fried in salsa. Hello sofa!

Calabacitas Chilequilles
4 cloves garlic, minces
1 white onion, chopped
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
2 zucchinis, sliced
1 tomato, diced
1 can corn, strained
1 can black beans, strained
10 stale corn tortillas
2 cups grated cheddar or pepper jack cheese
1 can enchilada sauce

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Place a large pan on high heat and sauté the garlic and onion for 2-3 minutes. Turn down to medium and add the sliced zucchini and tomato. Cook for another 5 minutes, season to taste, stirring often. Then add the canned corn and beans and let cook for another 10 minutes. Remove from heat.

3. Grease a medium-sized casserole dish. Take your stale corn tortillas and quarter them into chip-sized pieces. Sprinkle the tortilla pieces evenly in the dish, topping it with half of the veggie mixture. Sauce it, leaving half the enchilada sauce and sprinkle half the cheese on top. Repeat until ingredients are gone.

4. Place dish in the oven for 10-12 minutes or until cheese and sauce are bubbling.

5. For extra non-vegan indulgence, add one fried egg. Top all with chopped green onions, cilantro and hot sauce.

Beverage: Sauza Hornitos
Soundtrack: Butthole Surfers' Electric Larryland

We have a confession to make. That beer we reviewed below, you know
the Double Arrogant Bastard? Well...we got arrogant and used it in the
recipe that precedes this, our Frenchy Onion Soup.

The traditional French Onion Soup does, after all, rely on beef broth
and wine for strong, dark flavor and color--things we surely can't be
expected to mimic with mushroom stock and a couple of white onions
right?

Everything about the soup we made, from the texture (those onion
half-moons looking like stinky noodles) to the color (deep ale brown)
to the melty, oozey crouton fromage (duh) was amazing. Just like we
imagined. Then we sipped a scorching spoon. It was the most bitter
brew we've ever tasted.

Don't ever think you can cook with a beer that involves a double
amount of hops and malt, and clocks in at over 10 percent alcohol by
volume. Do yourself a favor and use a sweet, pretty beer for this one.
Then it's all good.

Beer Onion Soup
1 stick butter (or 1/3 cup margarine)
4 white onions, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
4 shallots, minced
12 oz. Fat Tire (or similar sweet ale)
2 cups vegetable broth
2 Tbs. thyme
4 bay leaves
salt and pepper to taste
1 baguette
1 small chunk aged gouda

1. Toss a stick of butter in a large saucepan on high heat. Once
bubbling add the onions you've sliced in half-moon shape, garlic and
shallots. The gnarly-smelling stuff should nearly fill your saucepan.
Let the onions cook down by half, or until slightly brown (approx. 10
minutes) making sure to stir often.

2. Add the beer and keep on high heat until you achieve a rolling
boil. Bring down to medium and let cook until beer is reduced by half
(approx. another 10 minutes).

3. Add the broth, herbs and spices. Cover with a lid and let simmer
for about 30 minutes.

4. Preheat your oven to broil.

5. Take your baguette (it's OK a little crispy) and slice 2 inch-think
rounds to serve on top of your soup. Grate your gouda.

6. Ladle yourself a couple bowls of piping hot soup, throw one
baguette round on each, then generously sprinkle your cheese on top of
that. Place your bowls (carefully now) in the oven to broil the cheesy
crouton tops for about 1 minute. Serve with a dollop of grain mustard
if desired.

Beverage: For fuck's sake, something light!
Soundtrack: Air's 10,000 Hz Legend

There are times in life when you find yourself groggily waking up with the sun, only to find a house full of passed-out party fiends littering the path toward the kitchen. And though they may be deep within drug comas, as soon as you start cooking yourself a plate of food, you know they'll all start rising. There's only one thing you can do: take another hit of the sunshine acid and fix up a pot of bubbling veggie gravy.

Vegetarian Gravy
1 leek, diced
1/2 green apple, diced
1 basket button mushrooms (8 oz.), quartered
2 large stalks celery, chopped
8 oz. dried mushrooms (porcini or other)
2 cups mushroom/vegetable broth
2 cups milk (2%), warm
1 box meatless sausage links, chopped large
6 cloves garlic, chopped
2 shots Canadian whiskey
4 Tbs. maple syrup
1/2 cup sherry
1 stick butter
3 Tbs. flour
1 tsp. dried sage
1 tsp. dried thyme
1 tsp. fresh parsley
Salt and pepper to taste
Dash of hot sauce

Biscuits (if tripping, use store-bought)
1/2 cup cold milk (2%)
1 egg
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. salt
1 Tbs. finely chopped sage
3/4 cup chilled unsalted butter

For biscuits: Preheat oven to 425°F. In one bowl, whisk together milk and egg. Set aside. Blend flour, baking powder, salt, sage and black pepper in food processor or large bowl. Add cold butter and pulse, or quickly blend with your fingertips, until mixture resembles coarse meal. Don't over-mix this shit. Add milk mixture and process just until moist clumps begin to form. Transfer dough to a floured surface and knead until dough holds together. Roll out dough to 1/2-inch thickness. Using a floured 2-inch cookie cutter, cut out biscuits. Transfer biscuits to a large nonstick baking sheet. Bake until golden, about 12 minutes.

For gravy: Put a large pot on medium heat and add half of the butter. Once bubbling, add the leek and garlic, and sauté for 5 minutes. Then add the celery and quartered button mushrooms, and sauté for another 5 minutes. Add sherry and set on low. While the veggies cook down put the dried mushrooms in a bowl with the parsley, thyme and sage. Then add 2 cups of boiling mushroom or vegetable broth and let the liquid revive the mushrooms for 5-10 minutes.

Heat a separate skillet on medium and add 1 Tbs. of butter. Then add the faux sausage links with the apple. After sautéing for 3 minutes, add the whiskey and maple syrup and toss (beware of flames). Set aside.

Turn heat up on the pot and hit it with the mushrooms and broth, then add warm milk and the sausage links. On a plate, coat the rest of the butter with flour. After stirring and bringing close to a boil add the coated butter. The liquid should thicken significantly--if not, add more flour (1 Tbs. at a time) until it gloops. Add sage, salt and pepper and a dash of hot sauce. Now let it simmer for 30 minutes.

Beverage: Strong coffee, whiskey shots.
Soundtrack: Love's Forever Changes