With all the fun clichés of the early '80s porn scene, and none of the cocaine ambulance escapades, the Summer Camp parties held by Little Radio at their downtown warehouse have been, hands down, the next best thing after space camp.

Free bands, ping pong, water slides, kiddie pools, astro turf, badminton courts — the only thing missing was vegan potato salad, which is where Hot Knives came in. We swindled a half-price grill and basically taught ourselves the most efficient way to feed 200 scenesters and scrape out a profit.

Now, sadly, we both have travel plans, a birthday, a bike tour and other stuff to attend to, so we’re done cooking for now. But stay tuned to see whether we’re able to pull off an August stint back at the Summer Camp BBQ. In the meantime, here’s another recipe addition from the Summer Camp menu and a "music video" of the whole sweaty month…

Frito Pie

Chile con Soyrizo
3 Tbs, extra virgin olive oil
2 small purple onions, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 head garlic, minced
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
3 red bell peppers, chopped
3 jalapeños, chopped
1 12 oz. tube soyrizo
1 cup black beans
1 cup pinto beans
3 cups tomato sauce
1/2 cup vegetable stock
8 oz. tomato paste
1 small bunch celery leaves
1 small bunch cilantro
2 bay leaves'

“Pie”
Fritos
Aged cheddar (optional)
Parsley-cilantro garnish

1. In a large soup pot, add oil and sauté the onions, celery and garlic for 10 minutes. Once sweated, add balsamic and let cook off another 10 minutes.

2. Then add your bell peppers and jalapeños follwed by soyrizo and beans. Stir before adding tomato sauce, stock and tomato paste. Let cook on high until bubbling. Toss in whole celery leaves, cilantro and bay leaves and simmer for 30 minutes or until chunky. Salt and pepper to taste.

3. Pour a bowl of fritos, top with cheese if desired, pour 2 scoops of chile and garnish. Let sit for 3 minutes to gel before eating.

Beverage: Green Flash Imperial IPA
Soundtrack: Darker My Love’s “Summer is Here”

Tofu Pups suck. Smart Dogs are stupid. With the grill season upon us, those of you suckers for smoke and char are probably wondering to yourself, “How do I make a sweet ass vegan hot dog?” Glad you asked.

A killer dawg (one that can trick a carnivore, cuz really that’s the best litmus test) hinges on three things: good sauce, good heat, good brand of dog. With that in mind, listed below is the kind of dog we have been serving up every Sunday at the Little Radio Summer Camp cafeteria stand. We’ll be setting up shop for one more week, this Sunday, June 24. But if you miss it, take comfort in the fact that you can recreate it all with your computer and a propane grill (we do not recommend buying a lemon from Home Depot because its half-price).

Speaking of which, massive props to the sweeties in Asuza who flickr-cooked our seitan recipe and on the same day it was posted!

Hot Dawgz!

4 Yves brand jumbo vegan dogs
1 quart pale ale
4 Van de Kamp buns
1 cup sauerkraut
2 jalapeños
whole grain mustard
“special sauce”
ketchup

1. Fire up your propane grill.

2. Slice jalapeños lengthwise and add to your sauerkraut. Prepare “special sauce”

3. In a large bowl, soak the hot dogs in your pale ale. Let sit for at least 20 minutes. (By boozing up your hot dogs, you will incur much more flame from the grill, meaning the dogs will blister and pop more like meat.) When choosing a beer, go for something mildly hoppy and a little bitter: Anderson Valley’s Poleeko Gold would work well).

4. Remove dogs and slice lengthwise without actually cutting dogs in half. Brush with extra virgin olive oil and place on grill with tongs, making sure dog is diagonal on the grill bars rather than perpendicular (makes for better grill marks).

5. Roll dogs around, hitting each side for about a minute. On the last turn throw the bun onto the grill. Assemble and sauce. Top with sauerkraut and/or onions. Eat in a bikini.

Beverage: White Trash Mimosa (Miller High Life and Sunny Delight)
Soundtrack: Live’s "Lightning Crashes" (long story)

For this sixth month of ’07 we’ve been enrapt in a brutal but amazing ritual of acquisition, fabrication, distribution and finally worship. We rise at ungodly hours, after traversing vague and ungodly markets to concoct beastly succor for earthly…hipsters.

The following is our rosemary’s baby of fake meat. A creature that devours the mind, enslaves the tongue and dominates the stomach. Henceforth let no vegetarian shyly throw still stiff Boca burgers on meat-slicked hibachis. Kneel in awe and admiration of Seitan: Dark Lord of the Underbelly!

Ingredients

3 cups gluten flour
1.5 cups whole-wheat pastry flour
2/3-cup brewer’s yeast
3 tsp. ground coriander
4 tsp. ground cumin
2 tsp. cayenne
3 tsp. smoked bittersweet paprika
3 tsp smoked salt
1 tsp. ground sage
2 tbs. freshly ground pepper
4 cups water
1 ⁄ 2 cup soy sauce
1 ⁄ 2 cup canola oil
1 ⁄ 4 cup plus 2 tbs. extra virgin olive oil

Equipment Needs

1 3-4” deep bread loaf pan
1 roasting pan, at least 2” deep
Wax paper
Aluminium foil

1. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

2. Combine all your dry ingredients and whisk to blend in a large mixing bowl.

3. In a separate mixing bowl, combing your wet ingredients one at a time in the
order listed above, whisking all the while to emulsify.

4. Rub the inside of your bread pan with 1⁄2 tbs. of olive oil. Now line the pan with wax paper making sure the entire inner surface area of the pan is covered—this will keep your loaf from carbonizing. Rub the wax paper with another 1⁄2 tbs. of oil, and grind one tablespoon of pepper into the bottom of the pan.

5. Add the wet stuff to the dry stuff. Mix with your hands, making sure to integrate all the dry ingredients into the brown blob you are creating. While the end result should be very similar to wet bread dough, you shouldn’t kneed it too intensely.

6. Dump the doughboy into its iron coffin. Sprinkle with the remaining extra virgin blood…oil, and finish with one more tbs. of freshly ground black pepper.

7. Seal the deal with aluminium foil, place the bread pan in the roasting pan, fill the roasting pan with as much water as you feel comfortable with sloshing awkwardly about in 90 minutes when its damn near boiling, and gingerly place the whole mess in your oven.

8. Bake for 90 minutes.

9. When the loaf is finished, turn it over on a cutting surface to dislodge it, and pull away the wax paper—as it cools it becomes much harder to remove. Slice and sear, sauté, grill, mash, braise, or worship as you see fit.

Evil Accoutrements While You Wait

Animal Style Onions

2 onions, minced
1 tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 tsp soy sauce

1. Heat a nonstick pan on medium heat while you dice the onions.

2. Throw the onions into the pan. Agitate them so they don’t burn, and sauté for approximately 8 minutes or until they have begun turning brown and smelling sweet.

3. Add the olive oil and toss to coat the onions

4. Crank the heat to high and add the soy sauce. Cook it off.

Special Sauce

1 ⁄ 2 cup diced pickles
1 ⁄2 cup vegenaise
1 ⁄ 2 cup ketchup

1. Mix it.

2. Use with reckless abandon.

Beverage: Avery Brewing Co.’s Quadrupel: “The Beast”
Soundtrack: Christian Death’s Theatre of Pain

A while back we posted about the heady nether-region-esque delights of the most over-your-budget fungus, truffles. Recently we got our burn-blistered hands on the cheaper, subtler cousin to the brutally perfumed tubers of the wintertime: T. aestivum.

A fraction of the cost of the late bloomers, these little dirt bombs have a much more delicate flavor which requires very little effort to coax into something wonderful. Instead of the super potent-garlicky bliss of white truffles (well over $70/oz) or the blood-sex-death flavors of Perigord Black truffles ($40/oz), summer truffles will cost you about $20 per ounce. They taste more mushroomy than their pricier counter parts, but still impart a sweetly sexual flavor to simple dishes.

Shell out a Jackson, buy some fresh corn from your local farmer’s market and blow your own mind without the hot kitchen and bloated belly you’d regularly get from slaving over some silly risotto.

Sweet Tuber Sweat Salad

1 summer truffle
2 ears of sweet corn
2 Tbs Spanish XVO (look for Arbequina)
1 bunch watercress
1 red jalapeno
1 green jalapeno
1 Tsp. fleur de sel
1 Tsp. ground black pepper

1. Using a mandolin, a very sharp vegetable peeler or, in a pinch, a cheese grater, shave the truffle into oblivion over a bowl. Cover the shaved truffle with olive oil and set aside.

2. Shuck your corn. Now, carefully slice off all the kernels. Combine with the truffle and oil and toss.

3. Wash the watercress, and snip off all its leaves. Serve the corn-truffle combo atop the watercress. Garnish with sliced Jalapenos and Black Pepper.

Beverage: Jolly Pumpkin's Oro De Calabaza
Soundtrack: Yo La Tengo's cover of "Little Honda"