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Holy Christ! It's like Christmas Eve here at Hot Knives HQ because our second annual LA Grand Crew beer-bike ride goes down tomorrow. Tomorrow! We have oak barrel fairies dancing in our heads.

WARNING WARNING: The after-party booked up days ago. If you didn't reserve a spot and PayPal us in time we really sadly have to cut you off from the party. No exceptions. We are bummed too. But the good news is the ride is the main attraction anyway and it is free and open to everyone. So we encourage you to come along and then throw your own after-party afterward!

For all of you riders, here are the details you'll need.

Mapping: Above is our tried and true map. Barring unforeseen snags, we'll stick to it and have spoke-card versions to hand out tomorrow. Please make mental notes of where we'll be and plan your escape route accordingly for the end of the ride.

Meeting: We meet at Union Station at 11 a.m. in a courtyard to the right of the main entrance Look for 50 bikes! Here we will take attendance and go through some perfunctory safety tips before shoving off.

Rolling: No ecstasy. Also, red lights: we will be obeying traffic rules when and where we can. We'll also have appointed Beer Monitors who will help block lanes for turning as needed. Be ready to obey their wise-ass bike advice. Remember we are not breaking any laws by biking in the street. And though we are not traffic cops, we may attract their attention. Be smart. The Hot Knives corporate entity is not liable for loss of limb or life or broken bottles.

Shopping: Remember, we are trying to shop, not drop, so please buy bottles to go for loved ones and friends rather than yourself. Don't booze hard while riding, please, or we'll get Bad Santa on your ass. No Michelob please. We are trying to support craft brew and the dudes who monger it. Go cheap if you wanna, but don't blow your wad on the first store.

Stocking: A sneak-peak at the discounts and offerings at the four stores...

Ramirez Liquor (no sales tax)
HK Picks: Black Flag, Skullsplitter, Stone's Holiday Trio, Dad's Little Helper

Red Carpet (10% off)
HK Picks: Abbaye de Saint Bon Chien, Yulesmith Holiday, Bourbon County, Dale's 12-pack

Stopping: We will end our ride in Glassell Park. Those heading home can keep pedaling or hit the nearby Metro Gold Line at Lincoln Heights/Cypress Park (see map). Those registered for the party will let off at Verdugo Bar. Once the after-party ends (between 7 and 8 pm) we will organize packs of riders heading to the Metro.

Checking: Bike, helmet, water, a bag, money for beer, an I.D., a bike light.

Where exactly the tip came from, we don't remember. But a few long blocks from Mariachi Plaza, on a potholed stretch between 7th Street and Whitter Blvd. in East Los Angeles, there's an impressive tequila wonderland that more than minors in beer. Just look for the unassuming liquor store façade and 'Ramirez Liquor' in red block letters.

Inside, glossy, turquoise blown-glass bottles of 100 percent blue agave and curly-cued clay casks of smoky Mezcal hang above the cashiers like sacred spoils of an arts and crafts fair. Old wooden shelves boast standard snack-attack prada like lime-chile Cheetohs, but the closer you stroll toward the long diagonal wall of beer fridges, the crammed shelf space slowly gives way to dark, corked bottles waiting to take their place in the ice.

At Ramirez, the Cali-beer selections veer into welcomed territory, with lots of hoppy bombers from Port Brewing, Russian River and Beer Valley (Leefer Madness ale anyone?). Poke deeper in the fridge and you're likely to unearth some rarer surprises. Shopping here is truly all about the corners: check top-shelf nooks and side-space crevices. We spotted niceties like Fantome and Skullsplitter scattered among the SoCal bargains. And if there was a discernable logic to the stocking, we're not sure we cracked the equation. The result: rather than shuffling through anally categorized styles you find yourself caught off guard by what's next in line. It's all about the thrill of the hunt at Ramirez: like picking punk rock compact discs from off your high school buddies' bedroom floor.

The fun spills into a fridge we seldom venture into: the large smattering of 40 oz bottles. That's because alongside Mickeys Wide-mouth and Old English sits respectable Rogue bombers like Double Dead Guy ale and their Dad's Little Helper, a craft-brew take on malt liquor. The notion of neighborhood bros nursing a Juniper pilsner ale instead of a Pacifico reminded us of the beginning of our beer dorkdom, subbing Shakespear Stout for Steinlager.

As it turns out, the place does cater quite a bit to bike business too. Alex, the beer monger, said small, rowdy packs of fixed-gear cyclists usually show up on weekday night to stock up on brown-bagged treats and drink 'em on the streets. Good to hear. We think we'll stop by more often.

Ramirez Liquor is the first stop on our upcoming LA Grand Crew '08.

Staff: Alex (pictured above) rules the roost.
Refrigeration: All of it except overflow and 3-liter specials.
Split Six Packs: No.
Belgians: Most of the traditionals but not the obscure stuff.
Microbrews: California is well-represented, hopped-up bombers aplenty.
Special Powers: Surprising surplus of German brews and herbed/pine needled Scotch ales.
Achilles' Heel: Real Lambics and Geuze are noticeably absent.
Location: Here.

We're 5 days away from the second coming of LA Grand Crew...

According to the weather service, the rain will be gone in two days time, meaning Saturday will be a sweet and swell day for biking and merrymaking: sunny skies, clean streets and a pack of 40 booze hounds!

Here's the thing though: we only have 10--whoops make that 9--spots left for the party at the Verdugo after the ride. Of course, anyone who wants to can show up for the day of riding and shopping but our gracious hosts at the bar have asked that the party be capped at 40. The good news, or bad news if you snooze on this one, is that we're almost there!

Sign up now on the previous post to ensure your spot in the kegline! We're really excited to see and meet all of you!

Radical Flyer: Michael "Sweet-Thing" Meanstreetz