Recipes: November 2009 Archives

Now that our homemade KniQuil killed the germs, we need something to keep 'em dormant. Enter our own concoction of this infamous hot sauce. And minus the sodium bisulfate!

The first time we contemplated making our own cock sauce (you know, Sriracha, "Rooster" sauce, whatever you wanna call it) was a couple years ago. Thanks to a surge in popularity the maker of the sweet and tangy green-top squeeze bottle was undergoing a bit of a supply-and-demand problem. Yup, the Rosemead, CA factory was behind on orders. It got so bad, event planners in Texas were calling L.A. distributors for pallets of the stuff. Alex fielded one of those calls from a poor fucking Texan willing to pay twice the price! Terrified of running out ourselves, we played with a fresh red chile recipe - essentially red jalapeños and vinegar - and came across something we thought came close, a nuclear orange puree. In retrospect, we were kidding ourselves.

That sweet tang... not sugar. Although there's a bunch of palm sugar added to this tradish Thai compound, the real thang is aged for several days to let the chili and garlic actually ferment until bubbly. With our newfound obsession with fermenting wild things in our kitchen, we gave it another go. Head to head with the "real stuff," nearly indistinguishable.

1 lbs. Red Thai chiles (about 1 1/2 cups)
4 cloves Garlic
1 1/2 tsp. Kosher salt
2 Tbs. Agave nectar
1/4 cup Filtered water
1/4 cup White vinegar

1. Remove the stems from your chiles and roughly chop 'em up. Toss them in your blender or food processor (seeds and all). Peel and add garlic. Add salt. Add agave nectar (cane sugar works here too.)

2. Pulse the mixture for about 20 seconds, adding up to 1/4 cup filtered water if needed to help it move.

3. Transfer the mixture using a spatula into a glass vessel (we used a measuring cup) and cover it tightly with plastic wrap. Set aside somewhere warm, out of sight, and let ferment for 4 to 5 days.

4. Remove plastic and skim any discolored spots or fuzzy mold. Dump the fermented chili paste into a saucepot and place on medium heat. Add vinegar. Let the mixture hit a rolling boil and turn down to simmer. Let cook for about 5 minutes before turning off and letting it cool.

5. Return the mixture to a food processor and blend thoroughly one last time, about 2 minutes, or until the seeds are completely crushed and you've attained a beautiful, fiery red-orange consistency.

6. Place a fine mesh strainer over a jar, a measuring cup or other storage vessel and dump your puree into the strainer. Using a spatula, gently swipe the surface of the mesh to keep the puree filtering through. Once you're left with just a goopy pile of crushed fiber, you're done. Bottle and use as desired.

File this under fashionably late.

A few weeks ago, when Peach season was in its final throes, Alex's habañero plant was blossoming out of control. This left us, and those we love and live with, in a state of simultaneous joy and fear. How would all those orange monsters find their way into daily dishes? Would everything we make be punishingly hot for months?

While we both have a penchant for all things brutally spicy, we decided to give our ladies (and our digestive tracts) a 'get out of jail free' card. We decided to tame the little orange baddies into something even the most ardent capsaicin-phobe can handle.

The thing about all hot chilies, especially brutes like Habañero and Bhut Jolokia, is that beyond their ability to cause mind numbing pain, they have strong and sweet smelling perfumes that carry into their flavor.

What are the two fool-proof ways to counteract the sweat-inducing, tongue burning poison? Lipids and sugars, dudes. If you've got steady hands and sharp knives, this recipe will produce a swell jam that has all the flavor of the habañero, and just enough of the bite to let you know that the peppers could, like if they wanted to, kick your ass. The flavor gets dangerous; then it goes away.

Slather this jam on anything and everything; it's great as a cheese accompaniment, with bagels and cream cheese, on toast, mixed into cocktails or vinaigrettes, or as a topping for ice cream or any other desserts.

4 lbs. fresh peaches
8 each fresh habañero peppers
2 cups of sugar
1/2 cup honey
2 lemons

1. Heat a large pot of water to boil, and set up a sizable ice bath (big bowl, ice water) next to the pot.

2. Cut an "X "in the bottom of each peach; don't go too deep.

3. In batches of three, blanch the peaches for about 2-3 minutes. Let the water lose its boil (we hope T. Keller isn't reading) and when it returns to a bubble remove the fruit. Ice them fools down!

4. Repeat step 3 until all the peaches are in the ice bath.

5. Steel your sharpest knife.

6. Unless you are confident that you will not stop slicing chilies to a) rub your eyes, b) piss, c) get intimate with yourself or another person, you might want to wear some latex gloves for this step. Gently wash the habañeros, and then slice off each section of the chilies trying to avoid the central nervous system, and the seeds. If you do this successfully, the jam will not be too hot. Remove all seeds.

7. Finely julienne and dice the chilies.

8. Gently peel away the skin from each peach, then pit and chop them. The peaches will hold a little of their shape; if you want a chunky jam chop roughly. We like a finer dice.

9. Juice the lemons and strain out the seeds.

10. Add all ingredients to a large pot and then turn up the heat to medium/high flame. Stir frequently and mind yer jam, you do not want it burned. Bring to a burbling simmer for about 15-20 minutes. Process however you want. If you don't feel like canning, just seal whatever you don't think you'll use in a week in a container and pop it in the freezer.

Beverage: Dogfish Head's Festina Peche
Soundtrack: Beck, "Peaches and Cream"

As much as you'll hear us brag that we never fall ill (largely due to copious amounts of garlic, onions and vitamin C) we do -- once in a blue moon -- get sick. And yes, we have chased the green dragon. NyQuil, DayQuil, other sorts of new fangled drugstore opiates in their generic versions. We will fess up. The stuff works!

But not this year. When one of us woke up last week with a throat tickle that blossomed into a gnarly case of the flu, we took it on with fresh produce, organic sweeteners and thimbles of liquor.

In place of Acetaminophen (pain and fever reliever), Dextromethorphan HBr (cough suppressant), and Doxylamine succinate (sleep aid) we used green chile, ginger, citric acid and booze -- all herbal, if subtler, forms of the chemical stuff. A couple shots, errr, doses, of the stuff is perfect for sitting on the couch in a sweatshirt and sweating out your germs. Take that Big Pharma!

2 cups fresh mint leaves
1 cup water
1 cup agave nectar (sugar, honey work)
1 small ginger bulb
1 lemon
1 tsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 Tbs. roasted green chile
2 shots Pastis
2 shots Southern Comfort

1. Start off making a mint simple syrup. Pluck 35-40 mint leaves off their stems, this should yield about 2 cups of mint. Roughly chop half the mint (set half aside for later use) and add to a saucepot with 1 cup of water. Bring to a boil and let simmer for about 5-8 minutes. Remove from heat and strain the leaves out. Put just the mint tea back on a medium heat and wait until back to a full boil. Add agave nectar, mixing, and let cook 1 minute before removing. Set aside to cool.

2. Ready your other veggies for the blender. First peel the ginger and slice into matchsticks. Next, zest your lemon, place the zest into a small dish and cover with 1 tsp. of good quality olive oil.

3. Toss the ginger, green chile and remaining cup of fresh mint to the blender. Add lemon juice. Finally add half the mint syrup, setting the rest aside for garnish. Pulse thoroughly for up to a minute. (Note: If you do not have the luxury of having authentic green chile, try subbing in a roasted jalapeño. Remove the seeds and use half in place of green chile.)

4. Strain the mixture into a bowl. Use a spoon to slush it around, allowing it to pass through the sieve or fine mesh strainer. Now you have the fresh juice part of your elixer! Taste it with a spoon, if it seems too tart or spicy, add more mint syrup one teaspoon at a time.

5. Mix. The basic proportion is one-part juice to one-part pastis to one-part whiskey. For a single dose: measure out a tablespoon of each into a cocktail shaker. Add a teaspoon of lemon zest oil. Complete with 3 ice cubes and shake fervently. Pour into a shot glass or desert wine snifter.