Recipes: March 2007 Archives

Some recipes take longer than others; this one lingered so long we started referring to it as "the beast." The goal was to deconstruct the Irish car bomb — that lovably irresponsible drink special that says "I throw caution to the wind like a Mick throws a Molotov cocktail in a bobby's face — and make it food. The gimmick was simple: take the three booze components of an Irish car bomb (whiskey, Guinness and Bailey's Irish cream) and put them all on one plate.

Our first attempt, brazen and cocky as it was, turned out god awful. We made a dessert grilled cheese sandwich of Irish aged cheddar topped with whiskey onion jam, Bailey's whipped Mascarpone cheese and Guinness reduction syrup. It was confusing and bitter and it rivaled our other top flop: the Double Bastard French onion soup.

But last weekend we gathered our confidence and tried again. We're proud to bring you our Irish Car Bomb Cakes: Guinness flapjacks served with a shot glass of Bailey's whipped cream and whisky maple syrup.

Whiskey Syrup

4 shots bourbon whiskey
2 cups Grade B maple syrup

1. In a small saucepan, bring the whiskey to high heat and let it reduce for about 2 minutes, then add maple syrup, stir and continue to heat until bubbly. Set aside.

Bailey's Whipped Cream

1 pint heavy whipping cream
4 oz. Bailey's Irish cream

1. In a large mixing bowl, add Bailey's slowly to cream and whip the shit out of them with a whisk for 10-15 minutes or until thoroughly airy.

Guinness Flapjacks

2 envelopes dry yeast
2 cups flour
1/2 cup, plus 1 tsp white sugar
1.5 teaspoon baking powder
1 tsp. salt
2 cups Guinness, room temp.
3 Tbs. warm vegan butter

1. Activate the yeast by mixing 1/8 cup warm water, a splash of beer, and one Tsp. of sugar in a small bowl. Stir, cover, and set aside for ten minutes.

2. Combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Gently whisk in the Guinness and vegan butter.

3. Check your yeast. If it looks like a blob out of control, whisk it into the batter. Let the batter sit for ten minutes. Then heat a greased skillet and drop batter in 5-inch diameter portions. Flip once bubbles appear or side is dark brown, about 2-3 minutes.

Beverage: Harp
Soundtrack: The Pogues' Peace and Love

Though we had high hopes for this year’s St. Patrick’s Day — there were rumors of $2 Jameson shots at a bar downtown that opened at 6 a.m. and allowed entrance only to those dressed as leprechauns — we played it safe with brunch.

Naturally the morning started with two arthurs, a fridge of bevies and fierce plans to get full. First on the menu was a mean barley and white potato hash made with four leafy herbs from our garden. We sopped up the hearty mash with smoky red baked beans, which put to shame the gooey brown shite that the Brits sling, and smoked tomatoes and crispy bacon.

For afters we made a stout stack of Guinness flaps and topped them with hand-whipped Irish Cream and whisky syrup and proceeded to make arseways of our selves by tasting 3 different combinations of black and tans. Those recipes are forthcoming throughout the week. In the meantime, here are the brunch recipes. Be dog wide with these ones droogies.

Four-leaf Clover Hash Browns

10 white potatoes, cleaned
1 cup barley, cooked
1/4 cup fresh thyme
1/4 cup fresh oregano
1/4 cup fresh rosemary
1/4 cup fresh flat-leaf parsley
4 cloves garlic
1/2 cup vegan butter
salt and pepper

1. First microwave or boil your potatoes until they’re about half done (about 3 minutes either way) and slice them in half. Once potatoes are cool enough grate them finely. Set aside.

2. In a large skillet, combine all four fresh herbs with the vegan butter, leaving a large pinch of each kind that you’ll add fresh toward the end. Cook until aromatic, about 3 minutes. Then add the half-cooked hash browns and one cup of cooked barley.

3. Stir thoroughly and cook for 20-30 minutes or until hash is fully cooked. (If needed, throw mixture in a non-stick pan for the duration of cooking as potatoes tend to stick). Before serving, season and toss with the remaining fresh green herbs.

Lucky Baked Beans

4 cloves garlic
4 green onions, chopped
2 cans baked beans
1 can roasted whole tomatoes
1 Tbs. ground pepper

1. We started with run-of-the-mill baked beans in a brown sauce (make sure they’re meatless) and doctored them up from there. In a small sauce pan, combine garlic and green onions in just enough vegan butter to cover the bottom of the pan. Let cook 5 minutes.

2. Then open the cans of beans and tomatoes and add them to the pan. Season the pot and let cook on medium heat for about 30 minutes. Serve

Smoked Tomato with crispy bacon

4 fake bacon strips
4 tomatoes
2 Tbs. smoked salt

1. Quarter the tomatoes and season the fleshy, seed side with smoked pepper.

2. Bring a pan to high heat with just a touch of olive oil. Cook tomatoes on their fleshy sides for about 5 minutes or until starting to black in places. Add more oil and fry bacon slices.

Beverage: Anderson Valley Oatmeal Stout
Soundtrack: The Fall Anthology Disc 3

A good Catholic son named Matthew wrote us last month asking for St. Patrick's Day recipes. Mathew — we haven't forsaken you, dude, we're still working on it. But just in case, come tomorrow, someone tries to pinch our weblog for a lack of green, we're digging up something from the archives: We call it Chippy Pie and it is good. But first some background…

If you couldn't tell, there's a long-standing racial/ working-class feud between Mexicans and Irish. It might have something to do with the fact that Mexican culture's amazing culinary tradition has also pissed out some of the shittiest beer in the world, while the Irish have given us stout beer but little to eat with it. In any case, to settle the fight once and for all, we bring you a combination of what's beautiful from both culinary traditions.

Chippy Pie

5 shallots, peeled
5 cloves garlic, peeled
2 Tbs. canola oil
1 tsp. cumin seeds
1 bottle Guinness Draught
20 corn tortillas
2 Tbs. unsalted butter
1/4 cup flour
3 cups white cheddar, shredded
3-4 cups canola oil for frying
1 tsp. salt
2 12 oz. cans black beans
1 cup cilantro
2 tomatoes
Limejuice

1. Roughly chop the garlic and shallots. Heat a large saucepan on medium heat. Add the shallots and garlic and toast dry for 2 minutes, stirring constantly to avoid burning. Add the 2 Tbs. oil and cumin, crank the heat to high and cook for 3 minutes. Now add the entire bottle of Guinness and cook on high heat until half of the liquid is reduced.

2. While you wait for the beer to reduce, drain the black beans and puree them in a food processor or blender. Set aside. Slice your tortillas into 1-inch strips.

3. Once beer is reduced, slice the butter into squares, coat with flour. Reduce the heat on your sauce to medium and whisk in the floured butter one square at a time. Now grab one cup of shredded cheese and whisk it into the black ooze. After all the cheese has melted, fold the beans into your sauce with a spatula. Remove from heat, set your oven to 400 degrees.

4. In a wok or frying pan, heat canola oil on high. Fry the tortilla strips in shifts, drying them on a bed of paper towels. Let each batch cool, then squeeze drops of fresh limejuice over them and salt to taste. Transfer them to a casserole dish. Then layer chips with a sprinkling of cheese — assuming you haven't snacked it to death — and tons of beer sauce.

5. Bake uncovered for 5-10 minutes. Serve with roughly chopped cilantro and finely chopped tomatoes.

Beverage: Guinness
Soundtrack: Anything by Jorge Ben.