Sometimes kooky fusion combos are better, more soulful, when improvised on the spot rather than pre-meditated. This one was borne from us being too tired, lazy, brain-dead and starving on a weekday night to be pithy or political with our pairings.
Falatkas are, you guessed it, a cross between falafel and latkes. Shredded potato and zucchini are veggier than the dry-mouth grains and smushy garbanzos, but toasted cumin just happens to make anything taste like pure falafel. Rather than mess with a condiment that embodied the already weird pairing — like an apple-tsaziki sauce — we slopped together a red-pear mustard that surprised even us. We served these crispy critters on a bed of Israeli couscous and dry mixed greens with a drizzle of pomegranate molasses, but if you have the resources you could also pop ‘em in a pita. Or a bagel? See, we always go too far.

Falafel-ish Latkes

(Serves two)
2 small zucchini
2 small potatoes
1 tsp. kosher salt
1 Tbs. fresh cumin seeds
1/2 cup rye bread crumbs, fine (optional)
1/2 white onion
2 cups grapeseed oil (canola works)
1. Wash zucchini and potatoes. Shred both with the finest side of a grater to achieve matchstick pieces of each, but keep the two separate. Place grated zucchini in a colander and sprinkle with kosher salt. Let sit for about five minutes (this will bring out moisture and make the zuke super easy to compress).
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine potatoes and zucchini and cumin. Add bread crumbs if desired for extra bulk — it is not needed, however, as the zucchini makes it very workable patties as is.
3. Form mixture into small patties and set on a plate.
4. Heat frying oil in a small wok or medium sized frying pan. Once very hot (drop a cumin seed in, it should immediately sizzle) fry one or two patties at a time. Pat dry and cool on paper towels before serving.

Pear Mustard

(Makes 2/3 cup)
1 red pear, mostly ripe
2 shallots
1/4 cup Pedro Jiminez vinegar, or sherry vinegar
2 Tbs. sugar
1 Tbs. Dijon
sea salt and black pepper to taste
1.Partly peel your pear and slice into small chunks. Peel and dice your shallots. Add both to small saucepan and then place on medium heat.
2. Once they start to release liquids, about 5 or 6 minutes, add the vinegar and let reduce by half. Add sugar, salt and pepper and continue cooking on medium heat for another 5 minutes before tossing in mustard to finish. Stir and serve slightly chunky.
Beverage: Flying Dog’s Barley wine-style ale
Soundtrack: Kinski’s “Alpine Static”

Forget to make that reservation at the new organic small-plate izikaya cocktail raw food bistro for Valentine’s Day? Get stuck with a 4:45 seating time? You know, there’s no shame in cooking, for one another. Like Adam and Eve sharing the apple tarte tatin of knowledge, or whatever.
For this V-Day — and the two-year anniversary of this blog! — we wanted to dip our dirty fingers into a dessert menu by doing something both savory and sweet, romantic and rowdy, something indulgent enough that we would make it for sweeties as a St. V present (naked) but something simple enough that you could it eat by yourself, (also naked). We set upon a wacky take on “sticky rice”: sticky rice with sweet, tempura-fried baby beets. The recipe is a little time consuming, not a lot, so you can spend most of your time cuddling.

Sticky Sweet Baby Fried Beets

(Serves 2)

2-3 Red baby beets
1 cup tempura flour
3 dried vanilla beans (or 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract, if you must)
1/2 cup white sushi rice
1/2 cup warm water
1 1/2 cup coconut milk
1/2 tsp. cardamom
3 Tbs. sugar
2 pinches salt
2 cups vegetable oil
1. Bring a small saucepan of water to boil for the beets. Chop their leaves off at the stem and snip off any tails so that the beet as close to heart shaped as possible.
2. Once water is boiling, drop them in for about 8 minutes or until slightly tender to a fork jab. Remove and cool under water or in an ice bath.
3. Skin the beets by running the edge of a spoon gently along the rough skin. The beets will naturally look a little like hearts, embellish by cutting a “V” in the flat top. Then place beet down on cutting board and make 4 or 5 slices, about 1 centimeter thick. If needed, chip away to make top curved and heart-like.
4. Fix sticky rice. We used a super easy microwave method repped by a Thai convenience website. Start by soaking your rice in warm water for at least 10 minutes. Then simply cover bowl with a plate and nuke for 2 1/2 minutes. Remove, stir, and repeat. Rice should be translucent and, um, sticky. But fully cooked. Let sit while you prepare the coconut milk.
5. Bring c-milk to medium temp in a small sauté pan. Add cardamom and stir well. Once nearing a boil remove from heat and add sugar and salt. Stir. Mix 3/4 cup of the coconut milk into sticky rice and stir thoroughly, setting aside the rest for the tempura mixture and a sauce garnish.
6. Mix tempura batter: add tempura flour to large mixing bowl, and scoop out vanilla bean using a spoon. (If using vanilla extract wait until you add your liquid, then add extract.) Combine 1/2 cup of the coconut milk to make a thick slurry of a batter. Vanilla beans should be visible.
7. Bring about 2 cups of canola oil up to high, fryin’ temperature in a small or medium wok — high heat for close to ten minutes. Once dangerously hot, batter the baby beets, letting excess batter drip off, and quickly fry them, about 1-2 minutes each. Remove, blot gently and rest on paper towels. Sprinkle with a pinch of sugar while still hot.
8. Garnish using two sauces using the remainder of the coconut milk: mix half of the cream with finely diced beets to make a pink sauce and keep half plain white.
9. To garnish: Use a 1 or 2-inch biscuit or cookie cutter, or similarly shaped circular item and stuff it tightly with the sticky rice forming a rice cake; top with a Tbs. of pink sauce. Place 2 beet hearts on top of that. Add a splash of white coconut sauce with the remainder of diced beets for contrast.
10. Serve and kiss.
Beverage: De Proef’s Primitive Ale
Soundtrack: Al Green’s “Let’s Stay Together”

Quick preface: We bow low before the soup kitchen altar of our friend Astara, soup wizard-ess and ancient soul, who throws together far superior carrot creations than we by the mere flick of her pinky finger — her curry carrot soup and her herbed carrot puree are both criminally delicious. If we could join a white-robed,Nike-wearing cult to follow her soup into future worlds, we would. Instead, we attempted merging those two soups for a rosemary roasted carrot curry soup. It was great, an absolute success, but some how we doubt it will gain us any suicidal hippie followers any time soon.

Curry Carrot Soup

(Serves 6)
1 1/2 lbs. white carrots (with stems!)
1/2 white onion
3 cloves garlic, peeled
1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/8 cup fresh rosemary
4 cups vegetable stock
2 Tbs. curry powder of choice
kosher salt and fresh black pepper to taste
2 Tbs. fresh ginger
2-4 whole heirloom carrots for garnish
1. Pre-heat your oven on 350 degrees and get a large, shallow roasting pan. Cut your carrots into 2-inch pieces (save 4 stems for garnish) and your onion into rough half moons. Toss with oil in the pan. Add whole garlic cloves, rosemary and leftover carrot stems on top. Roast in the oven until crackly and slightly browning, about 30 minutes. Stir once halfway through.
2. While carrots are roasting bring 4 cups of stock to a gentle boil and keep on a simmer until you’re ready to use it. Take your four whole carrots you’ll use for garnish and stick them in stock for 1-2 minutes to slow blanche. Remove and rinse under cool water.
3. Once carrots are done, remove and let sit for a few minutes. Save the oil for drizzling later. Now add carrots, onion and garlic to stock and pulse with either a hand-held blender (get one!) or in a food processor by pulsing in two or three installments, as much as your blender will hold without scorching you. The consistency should be thoroughly smooth puree, with no chunks. Keep on a low heat.
4. Season with curry powder, salt and pepper. Rosemary should still be noticeable, which shouldn’t battle too strongly with the curry. Taste as you go.
5. In a small saute pan, toast the chopped ginger on high heat with little to no oil. Remove once brown and crunchy.
5. Serve in a shallow plate. To garnish, cut whole carrots in half lengthwise and again widthwise, place carrots of different color consecutively for contrast. Add stem tip for touch of green. Drizzle leftover olive oil and another kiss of curry powder on top. Lastly, a flick of toasted ginger.
Beverage: Avery’s Maharaja Double IPA
Soundtrack: Pavement’s “Carrot Rope”