Hip Hops: August 2007 Archives

And now for something completely different! Duchess de Bourgogne is not from the Western United States, contains almost no noticeable hops, mostly comes in 11.2 fl oz. bottles, and features one of the most neo-classically emo girly portraits we’ve ever seen on a beer bottle. It’s not typically the beer we cut our teeth on, at least on these pages. And yet… fucking incredible beer. And, the Duchess keeps popping up in our world! (We recently paired her with not one but two recipes, drooled over her in our first radio spot and featured her prominently in our beer and bike brouhaha.) Still, she made us too nervous, downright intimidated, for us to be able to pen a review until now. We kept chilling.

Despite the look and the 6.2% ABV, make no mistake: this is a dark lady. She’s a traditional, flagship Flemmish red ale brewed with roasted malts only and aged in French oak, hence the brownish, oxidized-blood color and the sweet savory notes.

First pour reveals a filmy, slick off-white head that clings on the sides of the glass and forms a clump in the middle like a pendant; beer jewelry. First notes include slightly rotten bread, raspberry and wood chips. On first taste, the Duchess is puckery sour, not unlike kamboocha… in fact eerily similar to kamboocha. Much like that fermented mother tea, the Duchess’ beauty largely hinges on another kind of age secret: the beer is a mixture of ale ages 8 months and 18 months lending it an insane complexity, like a young misses whose adventures bestow on her a sexy middle-aged countenance. Or think of bubblegum beer, fizzy, neon-colored sour candies designed to taste exactly like cask ale. A red Chimay lollipop.

Dairy Pairy: Torta la Serena
Soundtrack: Psychic TV's "Godstar"

The jackass comment from one reader two months ago, who called us “cheap whores” in response to us dropping in on a schmoozy beer bloggers reception where we sipped for free, actually broached an interesting subject: Are beer writers, and bloggers, especially prone to favorably reviewing beers if they’re courted in any way by company reps? In our case, we rarely encounter much special treatment. Still, we have on occasion received free boxes of beer. We like to make ice cream with it.

Well, whether it answers that question or not, we recently accepted an invitation from the marketing reps at Pyramid Brewing to take part in a summer beer pairing party in the company’s Gold Box Suite at Angel Stadium. Now, we’ve never been much impressed by the brewery, which is known mostly for their apricot-infused hefeweizen. But we heard they were bringing a seasonal called Curveball and thought it might be worth a swig. Though Alex couldn’t make it, Evan took the train out to Anaheim with his former boss in tow and drank it all in. Not knowing exactly what to expect, we nevertheless assumed that most of the other guests would be beer writers, industry insiders and/or company reps. As it turned out, Hot Knives and Hair of the Dog were the only beer writers present and few if any of the other guests seemed to even care what they were drinking as long as it was cold. In fact this may have been the most ingenious way for the Pyramid employees to throw a party for their friends on the company card we've ever seen.

After a couple Thunderhead IPAs (easily Pyramid’s best beer, though admittedly tame and standard) we broke out the video camera to the dismay of some of the older dudes gobblin’ on beef franks and coconut shrimp, so that you readers could be invited to the gold box suite too. Note the sad state of the food and beer “pairings” and even the reluctance of one of the Pyramid guys to look in the camera let alone give us some straight talk about the beers. Rather than engage us, he chose to read the side of the bottle’s bland marketing speak!

All sarcasm aside, conversations with the two very nice marketing people for Pyramid was a fascinating peek into the world of who sells the beer for medium-sized, mainstream microbrewies, where the MBA grads talk more about branding than they do brewing: Listen close to the chatter in the video (abuzz with slogans, units moved and “big sports accounts”) and you’ll see what we mean. That said, the excuse to see a baseball game — one where the Yankees slaughtered the OC home team — was well worth the offensively mediocre hefeweizen. And if that makes us cheap whores, well, so be it.

A number of breweries both known and not are releasing beers whose flavors don’t really correspond to their determined class. When you take a sip of Gonzo Imperial Porter, one of the Flying Dog litter, it seems more like a regular west coast style stout than something deserving such a regal moniker. Avery’s Hog Heaven “a barely wine style ale,” while a great beer, had the two of us hotly splitting hairs over what qualifies something as a barley wine as opposed to a strong ale. The situation can sometimes be incredibly frustrating. When spending over $8.00 on a beer it damn well better taste like you want it too or a sense of wasted time and money sets in like a blistering PBR hangover. When a bottle becomes a boondoggle; you might find yourself turning your back on a brewery forever…

The Big DIPA is something to ponder in the aforementioned contextual brain twist. It is purported to be a bottle conditioned Double India Pale Ale, hence the acronym. While the contents of this silly looking Belgian bottle certainly taste nothing like any double IPA we’ve ever tried, it’s specificity defies both its categorization by its parents and the knee jerk reaction you typically experience with bottle boondoggle.

The look of the beer is sumptuous: a burnt caramel color topped with a cloud of foam reminiscent of towers of bubbles that hid you private parts when bathtubs seemed huge. Wonderful hop aromas tickle your nose hairs and you think about all the niceties associated with a solid flavorful IPA.

Here is where you take a double take at your purported double. Instead of that wave of citrus and pine you might be craving, you get a solid yeast rush, followed by the briefest tinge of hops and a malty afterthought. Confusion.

A second sip with eyes closed reveals a completely different and more interesting beer than the label that strange frog king graces with his rotund visage implies. With more swirling and a slightly warmer temperature (which the bottle actually suggests) the character of a truly great bottle conditioned ale makes itself known. The complexity of flavors from sweet yeast, brief dry hops, and long lingering toasted malts evokes visions of a strange cocktail: Saison Dupont, a splash of Green Flash Imperial IPA, and a swirl of Downtown Brown.

For those of us constantly seeking newer and greater IPAs, this bottle is something to avoid. Blue Frog's DIPA is nowhere near a true double IPA, or a single for that matter, but at least its more boon than doggle.

Dairy Pairy: 20 Month aged Comte
Soundtrack: Jesus and Mary Chain “Head On”

Here it is: the design of our demise. Don't be intimidated. This ride is going to be an awesome way to waste the day, and then get wasted.

Due to a few blog blitzkriegs that have been pushing our RSVP numbers nearer to 30 riders, we decided to post a few recommendations, assurances and perfunctory legal brush-offs.

Things We Recommend

1. Don't get hammered on Friday night.

2. Bring water, and drink like a fish throughout the day.

3. Bring some snacks that are high in protein and or carbs: nuts, energy bars, etc.

4. Sunscreen. We don't want you guys looking like meat on Sunday.

5. Bring something to carry your beer booty in.

6. Lube your chain, pump your tires, bring a spare tube if you have it. We will have tools, tubes and lubes, but it can't hurt to bring your own. (Especially if we have a gang of 30.)

Assurances

1. There will be a half dozen or more riders in our company that have loads of experience biking in the streets of L.A., riding long distances, and dealing with large numbers of bikers.

2. We will take breaks.

3. There will be at least one point in the ride where a car will meet up with us to unload and chill as much beer as you want to take off your back.

4. The day before the ride we will post an amended map, with a few "escape routes." If you don't want to join us for the last legs of the ride, then we'll post directions to some metro stops for you.

5. This will be rad. We assure you.

Obligatory Statements

1. This is not a booze cruise. Obviously the express purpose is to gather an insane amount of beers, but if you are planning on chugging beers midday and riding over 40 miles, well...you are insane.

2. Please know your limits as a biker, and a human being. If you start to feel particularly exhausted, don't bottle it up until you pass out in front of a bus.

3. While it is perfectly legal for us to occupy entire lanes of traffic, we will obey street signs, traffic lights etc. If you defy the law, you might get a ticket--draining your beer cash reserve. Bummer.

4. "We will not be held resposnisble for personal injury or death." But we will help you if you get hurt etc.

Most Important of All

1. Consult each destinatino point on the map and review each store's beer selection footnotes. Communicate with the ridersbuying beer around you, so we don't end up with 100 IPAs.

2. The Goal of the ride (other than the party afterword) is to bring readers into our reality, by showing you our favorite places to buy beer, via the streets of the city we love. If you want to burn ahead of the group, feel free, but this isn't a Wolf Pack ride in the daytime. Half the awesomeness of this event hinges on unity. Get into it.