Hate Knives?: August 2006 Archives
We've yet to recieve much in the way of hate mail, but when the second angry letter rolled in this week we decided it was time to unveil an entire section of the blog dedicated to it.
Here's our latest fan:
You two faggots couldn't make a beerfart in a bathtub. If you could, and bottled it, it would probably taste better than this crap. Good soundtrack choice for you homos though. Sister Nancy. I can't imagine two bigger nancies than you. Are you really sisters?
Deb
chubbi_debbi@hotmail.com
And here's an old favorite that we call "Vegan Fury" from a reader back in March:
Dear Mr. Brown,
I read your "Hot Knives" recipe column "Tofu Stroganoff" with interest, and I am a vegan who doesn't poison himself, only to find the recipe includes an egg, a stick of butter, and wine.
Eggs are the product of callous humans caging up birds. Butter is ditto from cows. After these fellow creatures are no longer useful, they are sent to slaughterhouses (perhaps to make pet food).
Wine is from vegan sources, then fermented to produce alcohol, a poison!
Slaughtered creatures are filled with poison: cholesterol, adrenaline (from fear), etc.
Cash-wise, a healthy vegan diet does not cost nearly as much as an omnivore one does. Honey too is not vegan, as bees suffer in the wooden hives human omnivores have built. Add sea salt and wisdom, and everyone will be happy except the butchers et al.
[signature not legible]
We may have opened the flood gates... keep that hate mail coming boyz!
I have to aree with "Deb" on this one. You two couldn't cook if (insert you favorite high-profile chef name here) was there helping you. Your recipes are really inane and poorly made. and I had to stop looking back through your archived recipes twice to go and puke. But this one takes the cake! (get it? Cake? And ice cream?) Beer ice cream from you two fills my head with images of walking around all day with the strange taste of ass in my mouth. And nothing I can do to get rid of it.
And speaking of ass, I must also agree with Deb about you obvious sexual preference and your mutual attraction for eachother. Maybe instead of "Hotknives" you guys should call yourselves "Hot Buttered Cornholes".
Robert Saunders
