Ceremonies: February 2007 Archives

Last week we came home from a particularly heavy night of drinking to find a sweet surprise on the doorstep: a hulking party pack of somewhat experimental potato chips from the Kettle test kitchen (courtesy of our good web friend Mikey).

Needless to say, one of those five bags didn't make it 'till morning. However, the other four did and we set upon a proper taste test. And what better day to do it than Super Bowl Sunday? So, rather than bother with the football, we grabbed an extra large bowl and a couple cupse of palate-cleansing strawberry water, and we got down to business.

So without further ado, our rankings and ramblings for Kettle's new potato prada...

5. Azteca Chocolate

This gimmicky flavor failed to win our tasters over. A thorough dusting of Mexican chocolate leaves the chips almost completely brown and slightly less crispy than desired -- almost mushy. The predominant flavor is actually cinnamon, like a chocolate churro, though the end taste is definitely the bitterness of Mexican chocolate. We could have used more salt on the things, though the liberal sprinle of red chile or cayenne was much appreciated. One of our tasters pointed out that the combo of potato and cocoa was actually extremely historical. But we wonder if the Aztecs could have managed the task better?

4. Twisted Chile Lime

We (wrongly) assumed that this was a Thai-inspired flavor. On closer inspection the "chile" is jalapeno and the cultural nod is more, how you say, "south of the border." That said, these chips are mild in both tanginess and spice. Everyone here agreed they could have upped the heat level just a bit, but that the imitation of lime is far better than most chips manage. Though they're fairly well salted, these might go the best with a dip of some sort.

3. Dragon 5 Spice

This variety is pretty out there, but without any compromised chip quality. The first pungent punch is gnarly ginger, fennel and allspice. The crunch and greasiness lends a perfect platform for the flavor too -- almost like a little bite of Chinese food without the MSG. And while the idea of craving the stuff or munching an entire bag was pretty much unthinkable, we can definitely get behind the idea of beef and broccoli in chip form.

2. Royal Indian Curry

As mentioned above, this bag didn't make it more than 3 minutes after being opened, and for good reason. For one, the flavor is genius and hardly done here in the States, but the execution was even more impressive. Slathered in authentic masala curry, these chips are sickly, radiation yellow; they scream Britain. The buttery potato base works wonders for the Kettle lab cooks' combination of cumin, fenugreek and turmeric. Although we didn't have the foresight, or soberness, to serve it with anything, there would be nothing better than dipping these into some dill Greek yogurt, raitha or dill cream cheese. Better yet, some green peas and beer battered cod.

1. Island Jerk

Best chip ever maaaahn... This flavor manages to take the potato chip to another level, no joke, and to communicate much more than any other packaged or processed snack food we've ever come across. At it's core, the Island Jerk is of course just Jamaican barbecue and in our mind barbecue potato chips will always rule. But here we're talking about the taste of an open fire pit and Caribbean jerk meat marinade: tyme, paprika, allspice. No dip required, no snacking help needed. If they continue making these chips, and we hope for your sake they do, go buy them.

Beverage: Anderson Valley's Brother David Double Belgian Ale
Soundtrack: Hot Chips' The Warning

Last month we unveiled a new cheese advice and gossip column called Dairy Pairy. Our hope is to spread some little-known facts about curds, give some suggestions on eating decent dairy that doesn't contain animal rennet and speculate about killer combinations of cheese and beer. But most importantly, cheese is our favorite goo to geek out about.

Well, nothing -- nothing -- is geekier than the annual Grilled Cheese Invitational, which we are proud to announce is scheduled to take place again this year on Saturday, February 24 on the edge of downtown Los Angeles. We at Hot Knives are registered to compete in all three sandwich heats again and because the entire gooey event hinges on a large, starving audience of cheese fans to act as judges we'd like to enjoin each and every one of you to show up.

If you have no clue what the fuck we're talking about, read up about the event at the official site and our play-by-play recount from last year, which includes last year's recipes that earned us two Third Place trophies. Despite some ruffled feathers from our friendly use of the word "weirdos" to describe the participants and promoters, we think this is the best thing to happen to sliced bread since, well, cheese.