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Once a year we thoroughly eschew our "mostly vegan" credentials and stock a veritable arsenal of family-made French cheeses to compete in the only competitive food event that we think doesn't blow, the Grilled Cheese Invitational. This year was our third competing and we had our sights set on one prize and one prize only: a trophy in the desert category (the "Honey Pot").

It was also the first year the event moved out of the underground and into the sunlight, literally since last weekend's much hyped 6th 1st Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational took place in a picnic stadium of Griffith Park attended by 1,500 screaming-for-cheese judges. In short, there were high expectations, and a lot riding on the contest for Team Hot Knives. Like everything else we mess with in the test kitchen, we took some video of us cooking and crossing our fingers. When trouble arose, we even got some last-minute pitch hitting relief from our awesome friend Mike Dunn, who is a recipe test-kitchen guru in his own right. The results? Stay tuned for Part II and, of course, the recipes.

It’s been kind of slow posting here at Hot Knives this week — all apologies — but we’ve had a couple things about ready to boil over. First and foremost, we’re happy to say that the First 6th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational was announced this weekend to the eating public! Like last year, and the year before, we are entered in the three main sammy categories. If you’re not familiar with L.A.’s annual grilled cheese contest, familiarize yourself by watching the above award-winning documentary on the cheesiness. It's an oldie but goodie so we're reposting... And save the date for this year’s event whether you intend to register, judge or just taste!

In 2006, Hot Knives walked away with two trophies for our concoctions. Then last year, the desert sandwich award slipped through our greasy grasp, but we still managed to snag the Judges Award.

And that’s not the only thing that’s been on our mind; we have a couple other major pots on the backburner that are worth mentioning. In May, we’re catering the San Diego wedding of our e-friends Matt and Laura (of Existential Media) and we have some stupendously meta plans for blogging the whole thing from start to finish, in collaboration with their wedding blog. Look soon for the online tasting menu. (We’re still figuring out the post-modern fruit salad and how to make hundreds of vegan wedding cupcakes.)

Also, in the not-quite-announceable category — Hot Knives is collaborating with one of our favorite beer caves — Red Wine Liquors — on a couple beer tastings in the next months; we have been asked to perform a live radio cooking show as part of a monthly art gallery currated by our friend Julie Lequin; and we will be featured guests on a new glossy, green-living cable show in months to come, more on that soon.

The jackass comment from one reader two months ago, who called us “cheap whores” in response to us dropping in on a schmoozy beer bloggers reception where we sipped for free, actually broached an interesting subject: Are beer writers, and bloggers, especially prone to favorably reviewing beers if they’re courted in any way by company reps? In our case, we rarely encounter much special treatment. Still, we have on occasion received free boxes of beer. We like to make ice cream with it.

Well, whether it answers that question or not, we recently accepted an invitation from the marketing reps at Pyramid Brewing to take part in a summer beer pairing party in the company’s Gold Box Suite at Angel Stadium. Now, we’ve never been much impressed by the brewery, which is known mostly for their apricot-infused hefeweizen. But we heard they were bringing a seasonal called Curveball and thought it might be worth a swig. Though Alex couldn’t make it, Evan took the train out to Anaheim with his former boss in tow and drank it all in. Not knowing exactly what to expect, we nevertheless assumed that most of the other guests would be beer writers, industry insiders and/or company reps. As it turned out, Hot Knives and Hair of the Dog were the only beer writers present and few if any of the other guests seemed to even care what they were drinking as long as it was cold. In fact this may have been the most ingenious way for the Pyramid employees to throw a party for their friends on the company card we've ever seen.

After a couple Thunderhead IPAs (easily Pyramid’s best beer, though admittedly tame and standard) we broke out the video camera to the dismay of some of the older dudes gobblin’ on beef franks and coconut shrimp, so that you readers could be invited to the gold box suite too. Note the sad state of the food and beer “pairings” and even the reluctance of one of the Pyramid guys to look in the camera let alone give us some straight talk about the beers. Rather than engage us, he chose to read the side of the bottle’s bland marketing speak!

All sarcasm aside, conversations with the two very nice marketing people for Pyramid was a fascinating peek into the world of who sells the beer for medium-sized, mainstream microbrewies, where the MBA grads talk more about branding than they do brewing: Listen close to the chatter in the video (abuzz with slogans, units moved and “big sports accounts”) and you’ll see what we mean. That said, the excuse to see a baseball game — one where the Yankees slaughtered the OC home team — was well worth the offensively mediocre hefeweizen. And if that makes us cheap whores, well, so be it.

Wow, what a hangover, our blog has a migraine.

The aforementioned La Grand Crew bike & beer tour swooped through L.A. yesterday in an ambitious arc of drunken geekiness. The event was an epic success — certainly more excellent than even we anticipated — and that’s mostly due to the quality of humans that showed up for our pet experiment. Twenty-six rad warriors showed up, everyone from the costumed Cub-ride party circuit, to Midnight Ridazz elders, to Azusa beer friends, to Hollywood ladies on beach cruisers to dudes who hadn’t even looked at a bicycle in 6 years. Starting in Highland Park, we weaved our way to the ocean and back in a yeasty 35-mile circle. We hit all five of the brew clubhouses on the itinerary, as well as a last-minute deli sandwich pit stop at a lovely liquor emporium thanks to Hair of the Dog Dave’s suggestion. If you saw a rowdy pack of boozers taking up one-and-a-half lanes on Sunset Boulevard, well, that was us.

Thanks to Will “Wildbell” Campbell and his commando cammy skillz, there’s a set of fantastic photos chronicling the entire ride. Check ‘em out: Don’t miss the painted mustaches of Joe Borfo and the bikini-clad “Let’s Fuck,” marvel at the B-Rad’s skills of biking while wearing a freaky giraffe mask, and take in the dignified wool man-capri-bike-pants of John. Some of our favorite memories were watching our new friend who calls himself Reverend Dak buy a bottle of Avery’s “The Reverend” Belgian-style ale. Then there was the slightly bizarre yet supremely thoughtful flyer waiting for us at 7-Eleven announcing the series of offered discounts (featuring wacky mountain bike clip art and snazzy photos of corporate suits toasting beer mugs at what could only be an staged corporate retreat). Most of all, we rejoiced at seeing Dan make it home alive on the clunker of a bike he had scavenged for the ride — he got the dedicated badass award.

Now, no ride would be complete without a little reward at the finish line, so we set on “tasting” all of our spoils; the goal was to end with 99 bottles of beer on the wall. Sadly, we made it only to 77. Still, it was the most impressive craft beer line-up outside of a store that any of us had ever seen. We roasted up some hot nuts, shared sips, swilled each other’s sweaty saliva, and talked beer until we were drunk. The Hot Knives contingent managed to stay sober enough to capture a little of it on video. We love you La Grand Crew!

And for those of you who missed out (even as were riding our in-box was piling up with people saying they had found out about the ride too late), there may be a second installment once we can bring ourselves to drink beer again. Stay tuned.

For no good reason at all Hot Knives is hosting our first (annual?) bicycle tour of L.A.’s best beer stores on Saturday, August 11. We know we’ve been eluding to this thing for months, since we first started reviewing our favorite brew purveyors for this site. But now the date is set and the details are fermenting. La Grand Crew ‘007 is here!

So, bike buddies, we invite you to tear yourselves away from watching Tour de France reruns at the Yard House and come join us and our closest alcoholics on an overly ambitious beer adventure! Hitting all five stores FEATURED HERE, we plan on traversing L.A. side streets to collect a wide array of bombers and six packs with the express purpose of throwing a tasting/swigging/gulping/retching party at the finish line. We’ll be starting at the Gold Line Metro Highland Park station and end at Echo park lake for a hot nuts & cold beer party. Maybe that's reason enough to be doing this. In between we ask only that everyone 1) make new friends 2) buy a beer at each stop 3) drink lots of water.

Every store has generously offered to give us discounts and to not comment on our god awful August-heat stank. This event is, obviously, free. You just need some spending money for beer and a bag, sack, fanny pack or pannier. All the details are on the above flyer thanks to Meanstreetz Industries, our co-conspirator ) or contact us with other questions. If you’re down please RSVP ASAP to hotknivez@gmail.com, tell a friend and feel free to let us know if you’re a bike expert or a beer expert with any special skills you can lend to the team! We will post an estimated schedule and map next week in case anyone wants to join the ride partway, which is only very mildly frowned upon. La Grand Crew!!! Whose in?

With all the fun clichés of the early '80s porn scene, and none of the cocaine ambulance escapades, the Summer Camp parties held by Little Radio at their downtown warehouse have been, hands down, the next best thing after space camp.

Free bands, ping pong, water slides, kiddie pools, astro turf, badminton courts — the only thing missing was vegan potato salad, which is where Hot Knives came in. We swindled a half-price grill and basically taught ourselves the most efficient way to feed 200 scenesters and scrape out a profit.

Now, sadly, we both have travel plans, a birthday, a bike tour and other stuff to attend to, so we’re done cooking for now. But stay tuned to see whether we’re able to pull off an August stint back at the Summer Camp BBQ. In the meantime, here’s another recipe addition from the Summer Camp menu and a "music video" of the whole sweaty month…

Frito Pie

serves 20 people

Chile con Soyrizo
3 Tbs, extra virgin olive oil
2 small purple onions, chopped
1 celery stalk, chopped
1 head garlic, minced
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
3 red bell peppers, chopped
3 jalapeños, chopped
1 12 oz. tube soyrizo
1 cup black beans
1 cup pinto beans
3 cups tomato sauce
1/2 cup vegetable stock
8 oz. tomato paste
1 small bunch celery leaves
1 small bunch cilantro
2 bay leaves'

“Pie”
Fritos
Aged cheddar (optional)
Parsley-cilantro garnish

1. In a large soup pot, add oil and sauté the onions, celery and garlic for 10 minutes. Once sweated, add balsamic and let cook off another 10 minutes.

2. Then add your bell peppers and jalapeños follwed by soyrizo and beans. Stir before adding tomato sauce, stock and tomato paste. Let cook on high until bubbling. Toss in whole celery leaves, cilantro and bay leaves and simmer for 30 minutes or until chunky. Salt and pepper to taste.

3. Pour a bowl of fritos, top with cheese if desired, pour 2 scoops of chile and garnish. Let sit for 3 minutes to gel before eating.

Beverage: Green Flash Imperial IPA
Soundtrack: Darker My Love’s “Summer is Here”

Let’s cut to the chase, get the niceties outta the way shall we? The Library Bar in L.A.’s Downtown Financial District is one of the few beacons of proper beer culture in our city. If you haven’t been, we highly recommend it.

The 7-tap, European draft system they pour from is expert; the beer choices are striking without being too showy; the bartenders are all painfully attractive and they serve their bevvies in proper glassware. If you like your Belgian ale in a pint glass, don’t bother coming here. Ruin your beer on someone else’s time. And (if it isn’t too full of suits) the swanky bookish vibe is more than pleasant to lounge around in. Which is exactly what we did earlier this week for their “Bloggers N’ Beer” event.

Now, not to paint ourselves as drunks or illiterates or anything, but we actually showed up a little confused having read it as (no joke) “Beer Bloggers.” So here we are thinking, “Shit, we better have our game faces on right?” Neither of us are used to discussing brews with anyone except each other and our friends and the occasional beer clerk we’ve interviewed for the beer store series. We’re not kosher. We even went out of the way to ask Christina “the Beer Chick” Perozzi, who organized the event, which of the illuminati were showing up. In case we found time to cram.

You can understand our surprise when half of citysearch.com is sidled up to the bar at 8 pm, asking poor Christina why the Inversion IPA tastes like dirty socks. Turns out, the admittedly tech-brilliant PR firm that handles the Library Bar was behind the party, even sending out the evites and compiling all the blogger’s sites and everything. Hey, more power to them. But a beer symposium it was not.

That said, it was a great idea for an event, some killer viral marketing and it actually brought us full circle in a couple ways. Back in November when the bar opened, Evan wrote about it for his newspaper. Because Christina created the bar’s beer menu, he interviewed her. Since then we’ve had her on our radar. Last time Alex spoke with her, the event came up and voila: small world. Besides managing the infamous Father’s Office, Christina has a consulting business that seems to often involve the mad genius of Pasadena: Mark of Craftsman. In our minds, one of her biggest accomplishments as L.A.’s beer sommelier is single-handedly convincing L.A. pubs to carry multiple kegs of Craftsman. That’s her legacy right there.

In any case, it was rad to finally meet the “Beer Chick” and totally amusing to peruse the random blog personalities dutifully trying to learn about beers, taking notes and snapping pictures.

Beer Tasting Line-up

1. Craftsman 1903
2. Unibroue Blanche de Chambly
3. Saison DuPont
4. Unibroue Maudite
5. Deschutes Inversion IPA
6. Deschutes Black Butte Porter
7. Flying Dog Road Dog Porter Scottish Ale
8. Westmalle Triple

Every beer on the list, except the Flying Dog porter, is a fine choice if a bit standard. Truth be told we got psyched about a preliminary list Christina sent us that had 2 beers we’d never had — both were replaced with ones we had. Still, we totally dug swilling our way around these beers for free and toasting Christina on a job well done.

The highlight of the night, however, had to be running into the only other serious fucking L.A. beer blogger in the room (in the city, as far as we know) Dave of hairofthedogdave.com. A sweet guy with great taste, we shared a bottle of Westmalle triple and made him promise he’d participate in the upcoming Great Beer Ride we’re going to get around to organizing one of these days. If you haven’t checked his blog out, do so. To be honest, he covers SoCal beer better than we do.

As for the more, shall we say, pedestrian coverage, it’s good PR. But we wouldn’t link to it.

Calling all L.A. mouths,

Hot Knives will be grilling this Sunday, and every other Sunday in June, at an outdoor party series called Summer Camp, hosted by local web-radio station/venue Little Radio. Their warehouse hangar in Downtown’s industrial district gets transformed into an oasis of slip n’ slides, cocktail lounge kiddie pools, astro turf and badminton courts. The event is free, the beer is “donation only” and most importantly it’s a unique chance to taste the food that we talk up and glorify in pictures all over this blog — so you can tell we’re cooking real food here. (Bring cash to eat.) Best of all, you can keep us company grill-side while everyone else is watching bands play. We may even offer an impromptu beer tasting to offset the free piss beer. Shhhhhh… preliminary menu hints: Made-from-scratch seitan burgers, veggie chili cheese dogs, vegan potato salad and tabouleh salad.

If you come and you read the blog, please say hi!
HK

This recipe is safe for work.

Every Friday, Evan’s co-workers take turns bringing a breakfast spread. We have a list on a bulletin board and an email system whereby you’re reminded kindly that it’s your week. Also, you are given the option of not participating (though really, how is that an option?)

One time the accountant brought a quiche and some Sunny D, another time 30 breakfast burritos (one no meat!) got dumped on the staff kitchen counter. But mostly, everyone goes with the safe standard of two-dozen bagels from the admittedly premium New York-style Brooklyn Bagels down the street, some light whipped cream cheese and some onion, tomato and smoked salmon lox.

Recently, I got the reminder email and so we decided to challenge the status quo a bit with some mildly spicy, greasy A.M. Mexican food — shaved veggie chilequilles with rice, beans and roasted salsa from scratch. It’s a platter that doesn’t require a full recipe run down here, but we thought it’d be a perfect time to detail how to make easy red chile sauce for enchiladas, hash or burrito drownings. This sauce mirrors the kind you can buy for a buck or two in cans, but it has more of a bite, a wonderful “from-the-ground” rustic spice to it. It’s also dirt-cheap and you save the can. Obviously, the further from the Southwest you are, the harder it is to find reliable dried red chile (like cayenne but redder and richer and less spicy) that doesn’t suck. But if you know someone in California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas or Colorado, we’re sure you can figure something out.

Red Chile Sauce

1/4 canola oil
4 cloves garlic, minced
1/4 white onion, chopped
4 Tbs. all purpose flour
1/4 cup dried red chile
2 cups vegetable stock (warmed in microwave)
2 Tbs. sea salt
2 bay leaves

1. Heat a medium saucepan with the oil on high. Add the garlic and onion. Cook and stir for 5 minutes.

2. If it seems like the onion has used up or absorbed much of the oil, add another tablespoon or two before adding the flour slowly while you stir with a wooden spoon. This will make the oil and flour clump together in a rue.

3. Then add the red chile and let the clumpy mixture toast for 1-2 minutes before dumping in the broth. Once the sauce is up to a rolling boil, if it still seems thin (check the consistency of the sauce by running finger along wet wooden spoon) add 2 more Tbs. of flour while whisking thoroughly. Once it cools it will also thicken a bit.

4. Season and let simmer for 20 minutes.

At the risk of over reminiscing, suffice it to say that we do brunch a lot (a lot) and rarely does it turn out as picture perfect as the recent Urban Honking feast in Portland two weeks ago. Diners ranged from small babies in Easter hats to scummy folk punks, all sucking down asparagus appetizers with a gorgeous 4-part brunch plate.

We’ll recreate the recipes here for you now, but don’t expect the vibe to translate. Unless you invite 25 of your closest friends and bro-down hard with this food. Thanks again to Claire L. Evans and Mikey who made it happen and had the foresight to grab a camera. Video footage follows...

Wild Forest Tofu

Tofu Scramble
1 block tofu, extra firm
1/4 cup olive oil
5 cloves garlic, minced
6 shitake mushrooms
1/2 basket of crimini mushrooms
6 sprigs thyme
1 leek, cleaned and chopped
1 bunch celery leaves (optional)
2 Tbs. Bragg’s or soy sauce

Truffle Salad Topping
1 cup arugula
1 Tbs. whole grain mustard
2 Tbs. apple cider vinegar
2 Tbs. white truffle-infused olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
1 beet
1 Oregon truffle

1. Press your tofu.

2. Briefly sauté the mushrooms to bring out woodsy flavors: Slice shitakes in thin slices; quarter the criminis. Heat a large pan with 1 Tbs. of olive oil and the 5 cloves of garlic. Once hot, add mushrooms and thyme, and cook for 3-4 minutes or until starting to get juicy. Salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

3. Using the same pan, add half the remaining oil and sauté the leek and celery tops. Unwrap your tofu and slice into big slabs.

4. Once leek is translucent, add the tofu and use a wooden spoon to scramble into mush. Season with Bragg’s or soy and let cook 8-10 minutes or until tofu is slightly brown.

5. Whip together the salad dressing of mustard, apple cider vinegar, truffle oil, salt and pepper. Toss the arugula and set aside.

6. Once scramble is fully cooked, add mushrooms again for last minute.

7. Slice beet and truffles super thin. Plate the scramble and top with dressed arugula. Then place one beet shaving and one truffle shaving on top.

Beer Braised Soyrizo Chili

4 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
2 leeks, cleaned quartered and sliced
4 heads green garlic, chopped
2 stalks celery, minced
4 ripe Roma tomatoes, chopped
12 oz. Deschutes Black Butte Porter
2 cans great northern beans, drained
1 tube Soyrizo
¼ cup ketchup
1 Tsp. ground cumin
2 Tbs. salt
2 Tbs. ground pepper

1. In a larger pot, heat the olive oil on medium heat. Add the aromatics and vegetables in waves: first add the leeks until they begin to wilt, then the green garlic until it wilts, until you’ve added the tomatoes. You should sped around 15 minutes sautéing.

2. Now add the beer and cook until it reduces by ½. Add the beans, Soyrizo, and ketchup. Cook for an additional 10 minutes and then incorporate the spices. Adjust the flavor with salt and additional ketchup if necessary.

3. Reduce heat to low and let bubble for an additional 15-20 minutes. Serve with crusty bread.

“Baked Potato”

8 baby potatoes
3 Tbs. vegan mayonnaise
1 Tsp. ground black pepper
1 Tsp. Finishing salt
1 Tsp. Smoked paprika
1 Tbs. bacos
1 sprig fresh dill
1 small bunch chives, minced

1. Scrub all your potatoes under cold running water. Look at your potato as if it were an egg. Slice the skin off of the length-wise edges on the left and the right sides of your theoretical ovum. Need another analogy? Make two slices on either side of the potato as to make the apex of parenthesis into plateaus, () = {}. Whatever.

2. Now, slice each potato in half right down the middle, as to make the now completely exposed face the “top” and the sliced face that you jut figured how to do the “bottom.” Using a metal measuring spoon (teaspoon size preferred), or a melon baller, gently scoop out a ½ sphere in the center of each potato’s “face/center.” Be careful to not dig too deep or your potato cups won’t hold much. Repeat until your 8 baby potatoes become 16 potato cups.

3. Now place all the potatoes in a large pot and cover with cold water. Salt the water liberally, and then turn the flame on high. When the water boils, your potatoes are done.

4. Mix the veganaise with the black pepper.

5. Using a spatula, or a pastry bag, fill each potato cup with the peppery mayo. Pick the tips off the dill so you have pretty little sprigs, and plant one firmly in each cup. Sprinkle each potato with chives, salt, paprika and bacos in the most artful manner you can muster.

Beverage: Rogue’s Imperial IPA
Soundtrack: Random dudes YouTubing U2 songs.