Hot Knives

'Peace in the Middle East' Couscous

2008-05-11T16:56:49Z

Maybe the marital feast we're catering next weekend, and feverishly planning for right now, has us pondering how food can bring people together. Or maybe it's the Spice Girls' "2 Become 1" on repeat. Whatever the reason, we loved giving Israeli couscous a Moroccan kick, because we needed a sauce with some heat that would slick the bloated caviar-like balls of wheat with some oily heat. We chose a mild harissa of assorted red chiles. We added toasted cumin seeds ourselves for the real kick and served it as a room temperature salad. The stuff also works under a tagine, or alongside grilled vegetables. Just make sure to let the stuff sit for an hour or two to let the flavors "marry." Har-har.

Cumin Couscous

(Serves 4-6)

8 oz. Israeli couscous 1 Tbs. vegan margarine 1 large red bell pepper 2 shallots 1 scallion 1/8 cup flat-leaf parsley 1/4 cup harissa (mildly spicy) 2 Tbs. olive oil 3 Tbs. whole cumin seeds Salt and black pepper 1. Bring water in a medium-sized pot to a near-boil over high heat. Lightly salt the water, just a pinch of sea salt, and add margarine. Right before the water hits a rolling boil, add couscous and turn down to low heat. Gently stir once or twice to keep from sticking. Let cook for 5-8 minutes or until couscous balls are perfectly plump and not at all crunchy. Remove, drain and shock with cold water. 2. Finely dice your vegetables. Slice the red bell pepper into quarters length-wise and remove seeds. Then slice quarters into long thin slivers, turn and dice into confetti. Dice your peeled shallots into the same small shape. Wash, pat dry, and chop flat-leaf parsley like you would for tabouleh. Add all of this to a large mixing bowl, saving a couple pinches of parsley for garnish, and mix with the couscous. 3. Dress the couscous with your harissa sauce and some additional olive oil (adjust to get a slick and smooth consistency, depending on how thick your harissa is). 4. The clincher: in a small sauté pan, toast the cumin seeds for about 2 or 3 minutes or until fragrant and slightly more brown. Add the seeds to the mixture and stir well. Season to taste. Let sit for at least an hour to marry. Serve at a room temperature. Beverage: Unibroue's Maudite Soundtrack: Primal Scream's "Little Death"

Raw Pad Thai

2008-05-09T16:03:09Z

We're back on the wedding catering warpath kiddies. Next weekend the Hot Knives crew is shipping down to San Diego for a marathon baking and grilling session for what will, hopefully, be an epic reception. The menu is done and most of the kinks are worked out, but we've been slow to post the recipes. Now, here comes the deluge. First up, possibly the greatest raw vegan edible we've concocted this year: a cold pad thai salad made not of fatty coconut flesh like some vegan "chefs" do, but out of all the veggie trappings that make pad thai krinkley and fun, dressed in a tamarind-coconut milk. We're still playing with the proportions, but you get the idea. (Serves 4) Coco-Tamarind Dressing 12 oz. coconut milk 1 lemongrass stalk 4 or 5 kaffir lime leaves 2 Tamarind pods 1 tsp. rice wine vinegar Raw Pad Thai 4 or 5 large carrots 1 quarter of a purple cabbage 4 radishes 1/2 cup bean sprouts 1/2 cup raw peanuts 1/4 cup cilantro leaves 4 scallions 1. In a small sauce pan, heat the coconut milk on medium heat. Smash the lemongrass stalk using a blunt object (we like the end of a chef's knife but be careful, this gets the flavor to come out when steeped) and cut into manageable pieces. Place lemongrass into saucepan. Add kaffir lime. Let this heat until a rolling boil, then turn down to a simmer. Let cook for 15 minutes, then let cool. 2. Using a small knife, cut back tamarind pod and dig for the fleshy pulp. If you've never messed with this goop, don't fret, it's pretty self explanatory what you want to use and what you'll throw away. Add tamarind pulp to the coconut milk mixture, blend or pulse together until smooth. Add the dash of vinegar, more if your palate likes it vinegary. 3. Roughly peel your carrots. Using a mandolin, or your vegetable peeler, slice carrots into thin ribbons. Collect in a large mixing bowl. Slice your purple cabbage in the same fashion. (Veggies should look like the garnish on a typical pad thai dish). Slice your radishes into pickle-sized chips. Add bean sprouts. 4. In a small sauté pan, toast your raw peanuts until slightly brown, about 5 minutes on medium heat. Let cool and chop roughly. Reserve 2 Tbs. for garnish and add rest to the salad. 5. Pluck individual cilantro leaves from their stem and add, as well as the scallions, roughly chopped. 6. Toss the pad thai with tongs, dress and stir until coated evenly. Chill in the fridge for at least one hour. Plate and dust with additional peanuts. Beverage: Echigo Stout Soundtrack: Acid Mother's Temple, "Interplanetary Love"

Bike-friendly XXX Vegan Cookies

2008-05-06T05:26:02Z

For the latest hot-ass recipe contribution from a Hot Knives associate, we tapped our sometime radio producer friend Meghan who has been busy baking cookies to raise money for a nutso bike tour she's doing to raise money for an AIDS donation. Last time we hung with Meghan she was building her first road bike and still getting used to riding next to cars. Now she's placing in Wolfpack biker races and riding upwards of 50 miles a day to train for her upcoming mission. We include her recipe for vegan chocolate death cookies as a gift to you all. Any words of encouragement or pledge dollars you can throw her way are whole-heartedly appreciated. Hot Knives will be making a contribution. Break a leg Meghan, show those Wolfpack fuckers how to bake! Take it away! It's amazing to think that just 7 or so months ago, I was too fearful to get on a bike at all, and now I'm pumped to ride all the way from San Francisco to Los Angeles for a great cause. Please donate what you can and forward my info to anyone you can think of. All the dough goes to the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center for HIV/AIDS services, including prevention and medication. Check out my page to donate or read. This recipe makes a crapload of awesome cookies that are super moist and may be addictive. (Vegan cookie porn photos courtesy of Gary Kavanagh) Meghan D's Triple Chocolate Death 2 1/2 tbsp ground flax seeds 1 cup soymilk 4 cups sugar 1 1/2 cup canola oil 4 tsp vanilla 4 cups flour 1 1/2 cup cocoa powder 2 tsp baking soda 1 tsp salt 3/4 cup cocoa nibs 2 cups vegan chocolate chips 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2. Mix the soymilk and flax seeds together in a blender, pulse and set aside. 3. In one mixing bowl, stir together the sugar, oil and vanilla. 4. In a separate bowl, sift together the dry ingredients, the flour, coco powder, baking soda and salt (leaving out the chips and nibs) 5. Bit by bit, stir the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients, both the blender of soy-flax and the bowl of sugary vanilla goo. Add more flour if the batter seems to sticky/runny. 6. Mix in the nibs and chips finally. 7. Now, form the cookies into pinball-sized shapes on a baking sheet and then smoosh them down so they're more like disks. Place them on a slightly greased (canola oil or cooking spray or Earth Balance) cookie sheet. 8. Bake 'em 12 minutes. Beverage: Chilled, organic unsweetened soymilk Soundtrack: Tomorrow's "White Bicycle"

Supple CA

2008-05-03T17:26:28Z

The most pious among us believe that if you pray long enough for something, you're bound to get it. Well, if that's the case, some sour-tongued beer geek in our neck of the woods has been prostrating up a storm, because last week we got word of three cases of Russian River's 'Supplication' hitting a couple select L.A. stores. The limited release, 14-month barrel-aged, self-described "American wild ale" has churned up impressive praise from the webby scrutinizers. It helps that its name references the nondenominational past-time of groveling before God. Not being huge fans of Russian River, but also not wanting to miss tasting the hype, we grabbed two bottles: one to slurp now, and one to save for later. To be frank, the tasting scenario was less seriously critical than normal. The bottle got popped around 4 pm on a 90-degree Friday afternoon -- when just about any drivel will taste like the nectar of a bejeweled duke. But discerning or not, this beer has a pair of wine legs. Russian River's Supplication Poured haphazardly into a glimmering German pilsner glass, the stuff came out amber and hazy with a huge, watery head of the kind of froth you wanna flick on someone's nose like bubble bath suds. The glassware choice ruled, because all of the crazy carbonation traveled from the base of the glass to the surface in little unpredictable patterns, like shooting stars. That bubbly turbulence is thanks to a refermentation process allowed in the bottle, champagne styles. Despite being a brown ale, the nose was all watermelon Sour Patch kids, puckery smelling. The first hit to the tongue is sour cherries, not sweet like some, but dry -- drier than fossilized wood. Then comes an even woodsier forest taste, like biting into oak bark, followed by what we can only describe as what would happen if you madly shook Angostura cocktail bitters into a lambic. Right at the end, the sour brew actually smooths out into a buttery, vanilla tannin-sy, roll-around-on-your-tongue sensation. Consider us converted, just don't expect us to talk to a god about it. Dairy Pairy: Petite Basque, bloomy sheep's milk Soundtrack: Comet's On Fire's "Pussy Foot the Duke"

Grilled Cheese, Part Goo

2008-04-29T07:07:40Z

Picking up where we left off, the grilled cheese saga continues (we promise oodles of vegan recipes this month to repent for our atypical cheese sins)... After nixing our blue cheese, black pepper potato chip and peanut butter sandwich, we reconfigured our desert entry in the 6th 1st Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational with the help of our buddy Mike Dunn. After making a list and checking it twice, Team Hot Knives booked it to last week's contest to attempt the daunting task of becoming four-time trophy winners. See for yourself. Props to everyone behind the madness.

Bread, Butter...Victory?

2008-04-27T22:39:12Z

Once a year we thoroughly eschew our "mostly vegan" credentials and stock a veritable arsenal of family-made French cheeses to compete in the only competitive food event that we think doesn't blow, the Grilled Cheese Invitational. This year was our third competing and we had our sights set on one prize and one prize only: a trophy in the desert category (the "Honey Pot").

It was also the first year the event moved out of the underground and into the sunlight, literally since last weekend's much hyped 6th 1st Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational took place in a picnic stadium of Griffith Park attended by 1,500 screaming-for-cheese judges. In short, there were high expectations, and a lot riding on the contest for Team Hot Knives. Like everything else we mess with in the test kitchen, we took some video of us cooking and crossing our fingers. When trouble arose, we even got some last-minute pitch hitting relief from our awesome friend Mike Dunn, who is a recipe test-kitchen guru in his own right. The results? Stay tuned for Part II and, of course, the recipes.

Mini Port Cherry Pie

2008-04-09T04:39:48Z

Cold drink of water, such a sweet surprise, put a smile to your face 10-miles wide… Whoawwwww! Tonight we buckled down with some fresh groceries and even fresher ideas for the May wedding we’re catering for our friends Matt and Laura. It’s the first training session of many. And the results were kickin’. So kicking in fact that we’re humming that Warrant song. No wedding metaphor intended! All night, swing it!

Cherry Tarts

(Makes 25) 1/2 lbs. dehydrated cherries 1 cup Ruby port 2 Tbs. raspberry jam 25 vegan baby tart shells 25 sprigs fresh mint 1 small cantaloupe, halved 1. First, whet your appetite with a swig of port. Pour the rest on top of your cherries in a medium saucepan, along with raspberry jam, and let cook uncovered for about 20 minutes. Stir well. 2. Pre-heat your oven to 375 degrees. 3. Lay out tart shells on a baking sheet. Fill each about three-fourths full and stick in oven for 15-18 minutes. 4. Top each cup with a small melon bowl, by scooping a ripe melon with a teaspoon, like you are scooping ice cream. Garnish with a sprig of mint. Beverage: Unibrou Quelque Chose Soundtrack: Warrant’s “Cherry Pie”

Project Beer Cave

2008-04-06T16:17:32Z

When Hot Knives first began reviewing beers, we bought new bottles quickly and often, mostly bombers on pocket change. The closest thing to “aging” those beers was the sloshing around they did on the bike ride home from the liquor store. Then the small, but reliable, checks started coming in from the weekly beer column we call “Hip Hops,” which gets reprinted occasionally here and there. Beer money! As a result, the reviews have matured a bit — we splurge on less frequent shopping sprees and tote around geeky bound diaries to take notes — and with it, our holding policy has changed too. Nearly a year ago, we decided we wanted to try cellaring our beers, by saving certain bottles for a set period of time at (mostly) friendly temperatures. We got another push to do the project when our Internet friends at 1000 Beers embarked on their own ambitious mission of burning through unfamiliar craft brews one at a time. Now we’re upping the ante. Thanks partly to those checks we have been able to amass a small but respectable collection, around 75 bottles that run the gamut from oily 13 percent ABV malt sludge to wild yeast Belgians. And few in the collection have been popped. Instead we have buried them dutifully in our basements and living room cabinets. The goal: Gather 99 bottles for aging and only begin popping them one at a time as we replace ‘em with something else. Once we hit that 99-bottle mark, the next mission is to build, or buy, a proper 50-degree beer chamber. Until then, we have plans to house them in a wooden chest the size of a casket inside a walk-in fridge. To get ready for that we recently unearthed the bottles we’ve been storing. We took inventory and began drooling. Wanna see what we have aging? Take a peek at the video.

Spring Board

2008-04-03T21:51:59Z

At the premier performance of the cataclysmically cool collaboration of Bodycity and Glasser, we happened upon the perfect accompaniment to outdoor fire-cooking: Norwegian Wood. Not to be confused with blond Viking fuel for fire, this ale is mahogany colored gas for the grill master. Like many of the boutique ales coming out of the Nordic lands, Norwegian wood is steeped in tradition that stands in stark comparison to the brews of its countrymen. Over 90% of the beers brewed in Denmark and Norway are bland pilsners, but as Black Metal is to NorPop, so are breweries like Haand Bryygeriet to Carlsberg. According to the importer, the Hand Brewery consists of four old timers who brew in their spare time. Norwood is based on traditional Norwegian farmhouse ales; kilned over open flames and spiced with juniper twigs and berries. As we learned when researching Aecht Schlenkerla Rauchbier, many ales were once quite smoky on account of wood fire cooking of wort, but the tradition has died off significantly in deference to the mild and chuggable. These smoked suds are a solid match for grill side swilling, especially in the not yet sweltering afternoons of spring. Norwood is solid indoors and out; as an evening workday ender, or over lighter fluid soaked mesquite coals. The smokiness lingers in your mouth and the malts leave a lasting sweetness that finishes with a slight bitter tinge from hand-harvested juniper. Don’t look to hard for the mediciny Christmas flavors of wreaths; the berries and twigs are used exactly as coriander and orange are in Belgian ales: they contribute to the roundness of the beer's flavor without standing out. Serve at just colder than room temp-a fifteen-minute ice down in your cooler if you’re in a park-and all the flavors of woods and fires will really sing. Soundtrack: Woods “Family Creeps” Dairy Pairy: Montcabrer: an Ash Ripened Goats milk cheese from outside Barcelona.

Grilled Cheese Guantlet and other news

2008-03-31T19:55:00Z

It’s been kind of slow posting here at Hot Knives this week — all apologies — but we’ve had a couple things about ready to boil over. First and foremost, we’re happy to say that the First 6th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational was announced this weekend to the eating public! Like last year, and the year before, we are entered in the three main sammy categories. If you’re not familiar with L.A.’s annual grilled cheese contest, familiarize yourself by watching the above award-winning documentary on the cheesiness. It's an oldie but goodie so we're reposting... And save the date for this year’s event whether you intend to register, judge or just taste! In 2006, Hot Knives walked away with two trophies for our concoctions. Then last year, the desert sandwich award slipped through our greasy grasp, but we still managed to snag the Judges Award. And that’s not the only thing that’s been on our mind; we have a couple other major pots on the backburner that are worth mentioning. In May, we’re catering the San Diego wedding of our e-friends Matt and Laura (of Existential Media) and we have some stupendously meta plans for blogging the whole thing from start to finish, in collaboration with their wedding blog. Look soon for the online tasting menu. (We’re still figuring out the post-modern fruit salad and how to make hundreds of vegan wedding cupcakes.) Also, in the not-quite-announceable category — Hot Knives is collaborating with one of our favorite beer caves — Red Wine Liquors — on a couple beer tastings in the next months; we have been asked to perform a live radio cooking show as part of a monthly art gallery currated by our friend Julie Lequin; and we will be featured guests on a new glossy, green-living cable show in months to come, more on that soon.

A.M. Tacos

2008-03-20T04:30:06Z

There are two kinds of weekend breakfasts: the kind where you’re either up late enough, or hungover enough, that garlicky guacamole sounds A-OK, and the kind where you have to make do with a slice of avocado and a couple twists of black pepper. This past weekend we fell somewhere in between. We wanted morning guac that didn’t taste like lunch exactly. We settled on a fusion sauce that ended up making one of the squishier breakfast tacos ever: a fennel infused avocado whip, slightly sweet from being braised in liquor. You can spice-poach a couple cage-free farmers market eggs for an ovarian indulgence, but frankly the potatoes, favas and green whip make a fest on their own.

A.M. Tacos

(Serves 2) 3 Tbs. olive oil 4 cloves garlic, peeled 1 shallot, peeled 4 small potatoes 1/4 cup parsley, chopped 1/4 cup fresh fava beans 2 organic, cage-free eggs (optional) 4 corn tortillas tomatoes for garnish salt and pepper to taste 1. Start by cooking up some potatoes as a base for your tacos. Either bring a small pot of salted water to boil and add taters for 8 mins, or nuke ‘em in the microwave for about 2:35. Then heat olive oil in a skillet and add chopped garlic, shallot and potato. Stir and let cook for about 15 minutes or until crisping and browning. Add parsley and keep warm while the rest cooks. 2. Peel fava beans from their pod. Bring a small pot of salted water to boil. Add favas for about 4-5 minutes, or until tender enough to remove the second skin. Peel by holding between thumb and forefinger and gently tugging at outer shell. Set aside.

Avo Whip

1 fennel bulb 4 Tbs. vermouth 2 avocados 2 Tbs. olive oil 1 lemon 2 Tbs. parsley, chopped 3. Whip morning guacamole starting with roasting a fennel bulb. Heat oven to 375 degrees. In a shallow pan place fennel bulb, sliced in half, with open folds face down. Top with vermouth (white wine or sherry works too) and braise for 15-20 minutes or until all liquid evaporates and face down gets slightly crisped black. Remove. In a mixing bowl combine fennel bulb and excess juices, avocado, olive oil, zest the lemon and juice half of it into bowl as well. Add chopped parsley and mix with a handheld mixer or else use a food processor. Blend until thoroughly whipped. 4. If doing it non-vegan, prepare a bath for poaching your egg: 3 cups of water, 1 bay leaf, salt and pepper, 1 Tbs. of cider vinegar. Bring to a rolling boil, crack egg and let poach for about 5 or 6 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, bring egg to surface and inspect for cooked yolkage. 5. Serve with heated corn tortillas on bottom, potatoes, whipped avo, poached egg and finally fava beans on top. Beverage: Cooper’s Sparkling Ale Soundtrack: Lloyd & Michael’s “When the Morning Comes”

Saint Moylans

2008-03-17T07:47:06Z

Happy Green Day! We celebrated last St. Patrick’s Day with a bang, it was a Sunday after all, so rolling out of bed into a glass of Harp lager and frying off an Irish breakfast special was a lot easier. Still, we feel so guilty having nothing quirkier to recommend to peeps than Arthur Guinness’ tried but true frothy extra stout and a tumbler of piss-warm Jameson. It’s tradition, and great, but we’re hardly traditionalists. So, when we stumbled upon a couple Bay Area attempts at widening the ‘Green Day’ beer options, we nabbed them: an Irish Red Ale from Marin County, and a Dry Irish Stout from Moylan’s. Both seemed perfectly timed to the holiday without screaming “gimmick.” Ironically the same brew master presides over both too. And considering it’s the same ruffian who is responsible for a couple of the best West Coast-Irish hybrids —the iconic “Kilt Lifter” and a lucky charm of an Imperial Stout — we hoped we could suggest a couple new St. Patty’s Day beers to y’all! The results were thirst quenching and mildly inebriating, but not quite a success.

St. Brendan's Irish Red and Dragoon's Dry Stout

On first pop, the Red Ale is a nice orange beard hue. Its bubbsies hang a few seconds longer than normal, and the aroma is hoppy and a little lager-esque. A slight sour-kick at first taste quickly retreats to a more bland, general mouth slickness. Emotions conjured up include: warmth and security, boredom, and a general aura of calmness. We decided this was more of an all-day chugger to accompany a ploughman sandwich spread or something. We popped the other one. As for the Dry Irish Stout, which we paired with grainy biscuit crackers a small, piping hot plate of French-Moroccan tagine, we were similarly non-plused but satisfied (see video above). In the end, both of these were noble replacements for the holy trio of Guinness, Harp and Jameson. But certainly not for the serious red-faced celebrant.

Split Spear Salad

2008-03-15T23:58:43Z

In the spirit of the first weeks of spring, that seasonal shred of time that all locavores, even us in L.A. share, here comes the asparagus. It's crack to Barbara Kingsolver and we agree. Here we nearly sliced the spears spider web thin and dressed 'em down for a cold salad.

Chilled Asparagus Salad

(Serves 4-6) 1 lbs. asparagus, thin 5 Thai chiles (red) 3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil 2 Tbs. red wine vinegar 1 tsp Dijon mustrad 1 shallot, peeled Kosher salt to taste 1 tsp fresh ground pepper 1. To parboil the asparagus: bring a large pot of water (about 4 cups) to a boil, salt until it tastes like sea water, trim the spears from the bottom by 1 inch, rinse and dunk in water. Let spears cook for roughly 15 seconds, remove and immediately rinse under cool water or dunk in an ice bath to stop from over-cooking. 2. Drain asparagus and pat dry. Cut each spear in half, or in thirds as needed, to create sleek, thin asparagus noodles. Put cut asparagus in a large metal bowl. Slice the red chiles into similarly sized threads and add. Toss with oil, vinegar and a dab of Dijon. Stir until thoroughly coated. (Dressing should be light.) 3. Mince your shallot and add as well. Chill all together in the fridge for one hour and serve cold. Beverage: Koshihikari Echigo Japanese Lager Soundtrack: Brian Eno’s “Big Ship”

Tea Party

2008-03-12T03:28:45Z

Reserved for the swankest occasions, the tea party is a gilded gift of spring. We go goo-goo over few party precepts like the garden soiree (it's a celebration) that's all finger treats and fragrant spirits and such. Fragfile toasts, like "To accomplishing the winter, friend! To birthing the spring, traveler!" Or in this case, a Happy Birthday to Hot Knives accomplice, Lake Sharp. Last weekend, we whipped up cold pasta salads and celery root remulaude, but the biggest seller was finger sandwiches. We did a take on cucumber, but WITH crust, and with a Chilean pevre of oil and garlic, and a quasi-untraditional one with fresh Japanese hot-house tomatoes and lemon zest mayoanaise. And served it all garden-side with difficult teas, cheap champagne, challenging Mexican pineapple beer juice and olives cured in salt in Alex's basement. Chop Chop!

Chilean Cucumber

1 loaf wheat bread 2 Persian cucumbers 1/4 quarter cup extra virgin olive oil 1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped 6 cloves garlic, minced or pressed 1 tsp. salt 1. Slice your loaf of bread length-wise. Place face up for stacking. 2. Wash your cucumbers and cut into thin slices. Lay cuke slices onto one side of the loaf. 3. Fix Pevre spread by combining oil, chopped cilantro, pressed or minced garlic and salt into a mixing bowl. 4. Spoon pevre onto the other side of the bread, spreading evenly. Press together and cut into 1-inch wide finger sandwiches.

Tomato-Mayo

1 loaf sourdough bread 2 large tomatoes 1 egg yolk 3/4 cup olive oil 1/2 Tbs. Dijon mustard kosher salt to taste 1 lemon 1. Slice your loaf of bread length-wise. Place face up for stacking. 2. Wash and cut your tomatoes into thin slices. Lay tomatoes onto one side of the bread. 3. Whip up the lemon mayo by beating one egg yolk with the olive oil in a mixing bowl. Then add mustard and salt. Whip well. Finally, zest a lemon using a grater or micro-plane into the bowl. Then juice said lemon. Finish with another touch of olive oil, lemon-infused, or regular. Beverage: North Coast's Merry Prankster Soundtrack: Flaming Lips “She Don’t Use Jelly”

Fa-latkes

2008-03-04T03:39:18Z

Sometimes kooky fusion combos are better, more soulful, when improvised on the spot rather than pre-meditated. This one was borne from us being too tired, lazy, brain-dead and starving on a weekday night to be pithy or political with our pairings. Falatkas are, you guessed it, a cross between falafel and latkes. Shredded potato and zucchini are veggier than the dry-mouth grains and smushy garbanzos, but toasted cumin just happens to make anything taste like pure falafel. Rather than mess with a condiment that embodied the already weird pairing — like an apple-tsaziki sauce — we slopped together a red-pear mustard that surprised even us. We served these crispy critters on a bed of Israeli couscous and dry mixed greens with a drizzle of pomegranate molasses, but if you have the resources you could also pop ‘em in a pita. Or a bagel? See, we always go too far.

Falafel-ish Latkes

(Serves two) 2 small zucchini 2 small potatoes 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 Tbs. fresh cumin seeds 1/2 cup rye bread crumbs, fine (optional) 1/2 white onion 2 cups grapeseed oil (canola works) 1. Wash zucchini and potatoes. Shred both with the finest side of a grater to achieve matchstick pieces of each, but keep the two separate. Place grated zucchini in a colander and sprinkle with kosher salt. Let sit for about five minutes (this will bring out moisture and make the zuke super easy to compress). 2. In a large mixing bowl, combine potatoes and zucchini and cumin. Add bread crumbs if desired for extra bulk — it is not needed, however, as the zucchini makes it very workable patties as is. 3. Form mixture into small patties and set on a plate. 4. Heat frying oil in a small wok or medium sized frying pan. Once very hot (drop a cumin seed in, it should immediately sizzle) fry one or two patties at a time. Pat dry and cool on paper towels before serving.

Pear Mustard

(Makes 2/3 cup) 1 red pear, mostly ripe 2 shallots 1/4 cup Pedro Jiminez vinegar, or sherry vinegar 2 Tbs. sugar 1 Tbs. Dijon sea salt and black pepper to taste 1.Partly peel your pear and slice into small chunks. Peel and dice your shallots. Add both to small saucepan and then place on medium heat. 2. Once they start to release liquids, about 5 or 6 minutes, add the vinegar and let reduce by half. Add sugar, salt and pepper and continue cooking on medium heat for another 5 minutes before tossing in mustard to finish. Stir and serve slightly chunky. Beverage: Flying Dog’s Barley wine-style ale Soundtrack: Kinski’s “Alpine Static”