California IPAs, Belguim-style, and Porters

California beer is as diverse as the state's geography, climate and population, precisely because all of those factors go into a killer brew. From Humboldt hemp ales to the stouts of the Central Valley, to the hoppier-than-thou pale ales from atop the Sierras, California rules. So when Hot Knives was asked to review a selection of Cali beers, we nearly had to be restrained from pawning our kitchen equipment for beer money. After three days of inter-office intoxication and the throwing around of a lot of frou frou adjectives, we cast our scores and compiled a descriptive list of every bottle we could squeeze on the break-room table. Though we should point out that we'd gladly get wasted on any of these fine beers. Cheers!

INDIA PALE ALES

Reaper Ale (6.2% alcohol by vol.)
Nose: Impressive bouquet, very herby.
Tongue: Mildly hoppy, extrememly light, and lacking in bubbles.
Eyes: Weak head and horrible bottle design.
Brain: This beer's label asks, "Do you dare?" Yes, we fucking dare, but this is more of a burger and fries beer.
Rating: 3 out of 5 bottles

Bear Republic Racer 5 IPA (7%)
Nose: Mild lager scent.
Tongue: Initial booze notes with a lasting, satisfying hop finish. Dry and crisp.
Eyes: Very cloudy in an ominously good way, lots of sediment. Cheesy bottling.
Brain: This bomber could equally compliment a day of snowboarding, and eating a pizza in a gutter. Buy a keg of this.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 bottles

Stone Ruination IPA (7.7%)
Nose: Slightly dank, weed and cat pee notes.
Tongue: Bitter, sharp, sour and totally enveloping.
Eyes: Light in color, a sleeping tiger.
Brain: This is a commitment as you won't be able to drink anything else all night. Perfect accompaniment for locking your friends in a room to induce a violent episode or to offer to a hard-ass goblin.
Rating: 4 out of 5 bottles

Moylan's Double IPA (8.5%)
Nose: Inviting hoppiness.
Tongue: Thick round flavor, well balanced booze and floral notes and no surprise aftertaste.
Eyes: Great amber color, reasonable packaging with Celtic lettering.
Brain: This IPA has everything, plus it makes you very drunk. Not entirely fair because it's the only double among the IPAs.
Rating: 5 out of 5 bottles

PORTERS

Firestone Double Barrel (5.9%)
Nose: Muted, not much smell.
Tongue: Pleasant earthy, soil taste, almost metallic. Less sweet, mild oatmeal.
Eyes: Extremely dark, perfect for winter.
Brain: This is a great farm lunch porter and would be great with a Euro spread of bread and cheese after toiling in the dirt.
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 bottles

Marin Co. Point Reyes Porter (6%)
Nose: Like wet paint, in a good way.
Tongue: An initial burnt taste, rounded out by maple notes and a creamy finish.
Eyes: Brown and bubbly.
Brain: This is a generic, tasty porter, no surprises.
Rating: 3 out of 5 bottles

Farmhouse Porter (unknown)
Nose: Sweet honeysuckle.
Tongue: An immediate bite with a mellow spice finish-cinnamon, allspice, root beer cream.
Eyes: Dark, little head. Simplistic but sleek design, looks super-homemade.
Brain: This is the kind of beer that you imagine cartoon villains are constantly seeking: a sweet spicy concoction of black booze. Could have "XX" on the bottle.
Rating: 5 out of 5 bottles

BELGIAN STYLE ALES

Russian River's Damnation Ale (7%)
Nose: Fruity nose.
Tongue: Initial saltiness, almost meaty, followed by an underwhelming lager taste.
Eyes: Golden.
Brain: Just like the name, everything about this beer is up front but then has no follow-through. Weak show. Perfect beer for purgatory.
Rating: 2 out of 5 bottles

Alesmith Grand Cru (10%)
Nose: Strong cider aroma.
Tongue: Shocking, metallic, too bitter but extremely boozey.
Eyes: Lacking a cork, but nice bottle.
Brain: It would be painful to drink much of this; in classic San Diego fashion these dudes have tried too hard. The result is heartburn.
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 bottles

Angel City Abbey (8%)
Nose: Rose hips.
Tongue: Subtle banana flavors, proper sweetness.
Eyes: Low head and lots of yeast. Generic design, poor color choice.
Brain: This is a welcome approach to Belgian style, with a more noticeable bitter bite and without the oppressive sweetness.
Rating: 4 out of 5 bottles