Donut Man Quit-eth

One month from this day, doughnuts as we've known them at Half & Half will disappear. Among the things we thought to sell when we conceived Half & Half, doughnuts were about the top of the list. We wanted to be a "cup of coffee and doughnut" kind of place. Enough cafes serve scones the size and weight of doorstops or muffins that taste like play dough. Our pastry selection was to be nutrient-free doughnuts and a small array of vegan pastries for the health-conscious. Before Krispy Kreme and Voodoo came to represent the two doughnut extremes in Portland, a handful of locally owned shops around town were quietly frying up classic renditions of the American Doughnut. Not surprisingly, most of these places including Annie's and Sesame Donuts, are owned by Asian Americans. Among my favorite (oh, and not to mention the most easily available wholesale) were those of "The Donut Queen".

Perhaps you've seen the sign for the Donut Queen, on East Burnside at 59th. It's a small white island in a sea of blacktop, with a sign in the window that reads "open" even when they aren't. A larger, exterior sign in bright pink with a lovely 50's script reads "Donut Queen Bakery." Below that, in a larger and less elegant font, "& Pizza." The sign has been there for at least six years although pizza has never been available. There isn't much to look at, or sit on, inside Donut Queen. There is a case full of doughnuts, a counter with a cash register, a coffee maker and a sliding-glass refrigerator full of milk. Behind the counter, the doughnut production area is in full view, but since the doughnuts are made in the middle of the night, you're just looking at speed-racks and fryers and mixers, lacquered in doughnut batter and sugar glaze.

There is no actual Donut Queen, but like the Great and Powerful Oz, a lesser man fills her shoes. This man is Viet, and he has been known simply as "Donut Man" since Half & Half's inception. Donut man is in his mid 40's. He came to this country about 20 years ago, and Donut Queen is the first business he has owned. He put in some years at the old Winchell's in Hollywood before buying the property on which his house and business sits. His wife and his father-in-law, both of whom speak very little English, run the shop while Donut Man is delivering or sleeping.

Donut Man arrives at Half & Half between 7:45 and 8:10, monday through saturday. He has been delivering to us since we opened, almost 6 years ago. Sometimes, if there are already a few customers in the shop or if he is in a rush, he'll come in and say, "Good Morning, Ro-bin...very busy...see you tomorrow" drops off a tray of doughnuts and leaves. Most mornings, though, Donut man likes to visit. He'll linger for a little while, inviting a conversation by simply and unfailingly saying, "So. What new." Usually I say "Not too much, how about you?" and I let him guide the conversation. Often he'll just begin by telling me he's very tired, and then ask me about something that happened in the news.

I'll usually end up talking with Donut Man for 5-10 minutes, about four mornings a week. By a rough estimation, I have spent the equivalent of 5 full days, or 120 hours, chatting with Donut Man. You can learn a lot about someone in 120 hours. In the beginning, when we were just getting to know each other, the topics would be cultural. He would tell me about where he was from in Vietnam, I would try to explain to the concept of "Connecticut:" not in another country, not part of New York. A state, like Oregon. Pretty soon, though, while the world unfolded into the chaos of the new Millennium and we were both struggling to stay afloat, we found a lot to talk about.

I have come to learn a lot about Donut Man. He has three children, a girl and two boys. His family in the U.S. is spread out between Portland and Seattle. Recently, he asked me who I thought he should speak with about purchasing the Portland Trailblazers. He thought that his family could come up with enough capital to make a down-payment on a loan (100 members at $10,000 a share.) He is a devout Catholic and Republican and he spends an average of $10 a day on lottery tickets. He doesn't sleep well and can't understand why he can't fall asleep without taking Tylenol PM. When his stomach is upset he eats beef, and he can't recommend a good Vietnamese restaurant for me because he claims they're all "very dirty." His favorite foods are pizza and hamburgers but for large family gatherings they will often slaughter a goat. After one particular morning, I now know more than I ever wanted to about his sex life. He sometimes discloses more than is appropriate.

Over the years, we have exchanged interpretations of our American lives. He doesn't approve of my godless lifestyle, nor does he understand why I am not married, having children and running a house, but he's willing to listen to my mumbo-jumbo about being an autonomous individual, or against the Bush Administration, or for gay rights. And I'm sure my radical liberal beliefs are as amusing to him as his understanding of outer space is to me. At the end of the day, we are two people with nothing in common, who have cultivated a steady friendship.

Donut Man's business has been in decline for 2 years. He can't articulate why, other than "people, they don't want to buy doughnuts no more." We've tried talking about improving his retail space, serving better coffee, delivering on Sundays, but he no longer believes in doughnuts. Early on, I asked him why he has "& Pizza" in his sign. He told me he was going to add pizza at one point, but it was too expensive. Now he's decided to end doughnut production altogether, and re-open as a take & bake pizza place later this summer.

Needless to say, I am very sad about this decision. Sure, we'll find other doughnuts to sell, but I'm not looking forward to the change. Mostly I am worried about the success of Donut Man as Pizza Man. Vietnamese doughnuts are one thing, but pizza? He's not exactly about the 'quality', and with so many crappy pizzas already out there... Even the name--"Pizza Queen?" No. "Pizza Man?" No. "Papa Joe's." What???? So, my friends, June is the last month to support Donut Man, either at Half & Half or at Donut Queen HQ. I urge everyone to enjoy a doughnut, say good-bye to an era and wish Donut Man good luck with his future venture. Who knows, maybe Pizza is his ticket.