Teenage Nathan and the Jerks: Die Monitor Bats

Die Monitor Bats, known alternately as seemingly any arrangement of the letters that compose their name (Die Monitr Batss, Di MNTR BTS, etc.), are a Portland four-piece comprised of saxo-ma-phone, guitar, bass, the occasional dual vocal and drums. With a pedigree that includes members of the Gossip and Sleetmute/Nightmute, what could very well be just another of Nathan Howdeshell's "other bands" instead comes off as a shining tribute to its influences--the just-past-vogue No-Wave scene of the late 70s-early 80s. Clearly, the lineage from which Diiiie Mntr Batzz descend (sparing us all the list of no-wave pedigree) lays a groundwork of understanding for such a brand of ungodly racket--but even perspective doesn't really make their debut "album" Youth Controllers record any less ridiculous.

And when I say "ridiculous," I mean TOTALLY AWESOME.

It's a sloppy, masturbatory mess of chunky, dissonant guitars, jarring horn squelches, stutter-stops, and atonal screaming--and it just makes me so damned giggly. There's almost nothing at all cerebral in my unabashed appreciation of their debut; Dye Monitrrr Battz seem to have done the previously unthinkable--shoving an id-soaked sock in the mouth of my impossible long-windedness with the depth of their sheer awesomeness. I mean, come on--nine songs in under 15 minutes, plus the greatest chorus of all time ("Spread your legs! And release the Bats!")? How could you, with a clear conscience, resist this?

One of my very favorite show experiences was that of their tour kick-off show at the Fast Forward house in PDX (pictured above) in which the band got through about one and a half songs before all of their equipment was destroyed by the audience. I can think of no clearer an articulation of this band's deserved status as Greatest Band Of All Time.