SPECIAL FEATURE: Greatest Album of All Time
Nevermind the Bollocks
With Greatest Band of All Time's inaugural "theme week" a resounding mess (primarily because of earthly circumstances, me thinks), please allow me to conclude this stretch with an entry that is, by most accounts, an offense to reason and good taste, threatening once again to capsize any relevance this humble blog might've maintained. Please skip this one. Ladies and Gentlemen:
NEVERMIND THE BOLLOCKS--HERE'S THE SEX PISTOLS.
Depending on your stance regarding the offending article, the reactions to calling the Sex Pistols' record the "Greatest Album of All Time" will surely range from "you must be joking" to "I mean, seriously." And of course, you'd be right. And though, through the years, NMTB has been made to feel as honest and sincere as, say, Alvin and the ChiPunks or something, the record simply deserves a better shake. And at the cost of my dignity (and the viability of this blog), i hope to make that case. I will, indeed, fail.
Follow me, if you will, on a journey through your historical subconsciousa nostalgic stroll through the your angled layers of memory, of mental blocks and free associations, of negative connotations so deeply engraved by way too much self-important rock journalism. Forget everything you've ever heard about the Sex Pistols. Forget about Malcolm McLaren. Forget about Bill Grundy. Forget about the Longhorn. Forget The Great Rock and Roll Swindle. Forget Sid and Nancy.Forget Lipstick Traces. Forget Filthy Lucre Live. Forget about it. Wait, wait... just a secondbefore you wipe the slate clean entirely, i want you to focus on one thing: remember what it felt like the first time you heard "Anarchy in the U.K." when you were 12. Before you heard it on a dozen shitty bar jukeboxes. Before you heard Megadeth cover it.
tell me it wasn't important. I defy you. Bullshit.
Say what you will about the Sex Pistolscalculated poseurs, talentless opportunists, puppets, meat-headed loutsfine, I accept your critique. But no argument you'll ever make would ever convince me that Nevermind the Bollocks isn't the Greatest Album of All Time. Hell, I think the Clash were a bunch of bourgeois, pseudo-political phonies, but that doesn't stop my appreciation of London Calling or anything. not too much anyway.
The other day, as I was selling frozen novelties out of a lawn mower, a young man not a day over 11 walked up to me from his sprawling suburban home wearing a "God Save the Queen" T-Shirt. I rushed to get this young man his Chocotaco. I saw in this young man a reflection of myself at roughly his age, buying a copy of Nevermind the Bollocks from out of the discount bin of a record store, and starting a chain of events that would unknowingly lead to years of adolescent confusion. Because, in spite of every peripheral complaint (however accurate) so regularly lobbed at the band, nothing seems to outweigh the fact that this simply great pop record has had enough of a resounding effect to still inspire generations of children to become class-A fuck-ups. Enough to inspire (as that 24 Hour Party People film so masterly reflects) your precious Joy Division and Buzzcocks.
Alright, so the album: sure, it has its problemsmost of the best moments on the album come from the band's original singles ("anarchy in the UK," "God Save the Queen," "Pretty Vacant," and "Holiday In the Sun"), with the filler largely just offensive for offense's sake ("New York"'s oddly conceived attack on admitted inspirations the New York Dolls, "Bodies"'s creepily rightwing politicking). But in spite of it all, the record delivers what's promised: the wart-ridden, artful artifice of what was almost the most culturally significant band of 1970s Britain. Almost. Stop me before i get all Greil Marcus.
Today it's difficult to reconcile the music of the Sex Pistols with the two years of cultural revolution that they caused in Britainall paltry pop numbers over blues guitar riffsand I'm not about to argue that the attention their classic myth has garnered is at all warranted. All I'm saying is, "Anarchy in the U.K." is still a great song. Timeless, even. So is "God Save the Queen" with it's "flowers in the dust bin." and "Pretty Vacant." and "EMI." and "Holidays in the Sun." I still get excited every time I hear them. Because if you wash away all of the circumstance, a simple British twist goes a long way.
Nevermind the Bollocks. What was I thinking, right? Oh, rightGreatest Album of All Time.
FIrst off i'd like to say i respect your opinion and everyone elses but in the end the most influential and greatest rock band of all time is Metallica and the album sales and longevity of their tours should easily prove this. Their self entitled album(black album) has been in the top 20 pop/rock charts for over 400 weeks...thats a record...sold over 14 million copies..played over 200 shows for that one album and the band is the 6th biggest selling act in music history..and i lay my case to rest..
The sex pistols happen to be one of my all time favorite bands, despite their short career; Nerermind the bollocks, here comes the sex pistols also happens to be one of my favorite albums of all time. But when it comes right down to it, CKY's 'Infiltrate, Destroy, and Rebuild' album happens to be the greatest album of all time. It has all the essential elements of a good music album: 1. Great guitar work; 2. A good vocalist; 3. Good lyrics; 4. Drums and bass are very good at keeping the beat going. Oh yeah, Metallica sucks ass.
Damn right. CKY is great at making seemingly perfect albums. I was just lucky enough to hear a copy of their latest cd "an Answer can be found" ....I'll just say, its amazing and and improvement dare I say on their previous recordings. The new CKY album hits stores june 28th 2005 on island records.
Actually, I'm pretty sure that the Beatles had more influence than any other band......and I'm also pretty sure that more people will back me up.....
Laura uh ya completely backed up.
Greatest band of all-time - The Beatles.
Greatest album of all-time:
Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd
ABailey... thats not a record.. dark side of the moon was in the charts for 591 weeks straight and still turns up every once in a while.
just too too good
Led zeppelin is greatest band of all time in my opinion. the band sold over 300 million albums making them one of the top 5 selling artists of all time along with the beatles. they also have some of the best selling albums of all time, i think IV is the 4th best selling album ever or something. oh and i might have to agree with you on darkside of the moon, and metallica was alright until they sold out and sucked most definately not the greatest band ever tho
oh and by the way selling over 14 million copies isnt that great, led zeppelin had 5 albums that sold over 15 million copies...
I fid it a sad state of affairs to judge a band's greatness based on their sales. I'm referring not to the Sex Pistols, but to the short-sighted responses citing Metallica and Pink Floyd.
The reason this saddens me isn't because Metallica and Pink Floyd aren't great bands (or, more accurately *were* great bands... make me listen to a new album from either outfit and I'll sneak out to immolate myself while you're looking for something sharp to open the CD packaging with).
And, just for the record, I didn't omit Led Zeppelin from that list; I just don't think they're great, unless "greatness" has recently been redefined as "the ability to make pretentious adolescent references to Tolkein, to steal old blues standards and get really wealthy off them without compensating the impoverished old black guys who wrote them, to wear horrible, unlaundered clothes, to license one's music to General Motors, and to choke to death on one's own vomit on the shore of Loch Ness".
No, the reason that sales are being considered in the process of judging which band is the greatest makes me sad is simple; most people are complete blockheads who wouldn't know a good band if it walked up to them and screamed "WE'RE THE BEST FUCKING BAND IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD AND HERE ARE EIGHT HUNDRED DETAILED AND INDISPUTABLE REASONS WHY: (and then a list of all 800 reasons)" right in their faces.
I mean, if album sales or chart positions are indicitive of a musician's "greatness", does that mean that Britney Spears, Max Bygraves, or N*Sync are great? Because if they are, their greatness eludes me.
More to the point, the best band ever is, without question, Happy Flowers, and if I remember correctly, they have sold exactly three copies of their landmark "I Crush Bozo" album to non-family members. Do these relatively poor sales indicate a lack of greatness? Hardly.
And to prove my point, I will now list several albums which are undeniably great, yet sold relatively poorly (and in most cases didn't 'chart' at all):
"OOF!" by Happy Flowers
"Jesus Egg that Wept" by Danielle Dax
"Buy" by James Chance and the Contortions
"Nail" by Scraping Foetus Off the Wheel
"The Record" by Fear
"Hell-O" by GWAR
"Le Mysterie des Voix Bulgaires"
"Setting Sons" by The Jam
"Atomizer" by Big Black
"Horse Rotorvator" by Coil
"Eleventeen" by Daisy Chainsaw
"New Values" by Iggy Pop
"The Diodes" by the Diodes
"Broken English" by Marianne Faithfull (yes, the chick from that Metallica album)
"Bad Moon Rising" by Sonic Youth
"Soul Mining" by The The
The soundtrack from "A Charlie Brown Christmas"
and "Orgasmatron" by Motorhead
I believe I have thoroughly and successfully hammered-home my point.
Tell me Happy Flowers aren't the greatest band in the history of the universe. I mean it... just try me, punk.
re: the first comment
if albums sales and tour longevity is all it takes to be highly influential...no, i can't even come up with someone because that's the dumbest argument i've ever heard.
the ramones and velvet underground didn't sell any records and it'd be hard to argue against their high stature in the rock'n'roll canon
i bet even metallica wouldn't make a claim like that
For me, the list of greatest bands ever goes:
1) Beatles
2) Pink Floyd
3) Eagles
4) Led Zep
Beatles are at the top and the reason is (ignoring their guiness world record of 1 billion records sold, 700 million more than #2, micheal jackson), they created (along wiht elvis) what is known today as rock'n'roll. They created all the rules in rock (for eg.: the drummer sits at the back), and they won all the music-lovers' hearts in the world, including mine (I was born in 1982!)
Hi, What about the Velvet Underground or Talking Heads?