For my finals, this is what it looked like:
In 2D Design, we had to create a 10 page artist book. I chose to sew the entire thing. The concept of this book was touching on the literal act of reading and getting comfort from that. Also, the comfort you gain from being completely involved in the plot of a book you’re reading. So much so that when you talk about the characters you refer to them as your “friend” and then realize, shoot– they’re fictional.The instructor for this class was one with extremely high standards and relentless to give an A. I GOT AN A!

Next, I had to create a personal logo AND an 8 page ‘zine for my Digital Tools Class.  Both of these assignments were relatively fun. We had to utilize Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign. In an art school that LOVES conceptual work, I feel like everything I learned in my Digital Tools class was completely practical and nonconceptual– which is a nice break from the norm. I got an A in this class as well. I also had a huge crush on this teacher and am a little bit sad to not be in his class anymore, haha, I’ll get over it.

In my Basic Drawing class, we had a self-portrait due. Self-portraits are ALWAYS frustrating. We had to choose a figurative artist and attempt to work at our own self-portrait in their style. I chose Egon Schiele, who is an amazing artist worth checking out. His work isn’t always exactly realistic so that gave me a little bit of leeway in my drawing. I got an A in this class, too!

Next for my Time Arts class I proposed that I was going to build an installation. My concept for the entire semester that I had been working with was Human Interaction, dealing with underlying sexual themes. Since space at PNCA is limited, and I didn’t want to deal with only getting a 2 hour slot for my installation, I had to think of another way to approach it. I made 4 dioramas with 5 photographs. The photographs were 8×10 black and white and sewn on to brown paper. They hung underneath the 4 dioramas. I mainly used white yarn and white fabric within the dioramas. The concept for the piece revolved around these 5 pictures that were close-ups of some of my favorite, most intimate parts of the body. The dioramas were the thoughts, or sensory experience of interacting with these places on the body. The piece was supposed to give the feel of an installation, even though it only took up about 5 feet on the wall. It was the project that I am most happy with. I worked really hard on it, I problem-solved, and I worked my ass of to get the final  product that I did. I ended up getting a B+ in this class because I missed some performance exercise in class that my teacher thought was CRUCIAL, even though it was just a bunch of students bull-shitting around “learning” about performance art. wah wah wah.

MY LAST and MOST STRESSFUL final was for Art History. Our grade in this class was made up of 3 exams and 3 papers. On the first exam I received a D, and the teacher assured me this was normal and that all of her students see better results quickly. I got As on the papers and continued to do terribly on her tests. This class was absolute hell! It was a Monday morning class at 8am and the teacher had a monotonous voice and she only recited exactly what the text said. It was pointless to attend her class. It’s frustrating because I LOVE art history, and this teacher ruined it. I managed a C in this class, THANKS GOD. I will receive the credits and move on from this teacher. By the end of this class, there were about 5 students attending it– apparently everyone else got the memo that this instructor was impossible. So in those last weeks of school, I was scrambling around trying to create 4 fabulous works of art AND trying to cram in a paper on architecture for my art history class AND study enough to pass the class.

For the first time in my life, there literally wasn’t enough hours in the day to sleep and I  just had to accept that. By the end of it all, I wanted to rip out my hair and gauge out my eyeballs. My body has never been put under so much stress! I think the reason it’s all so stressful is because, I’m paying so much money for it. I can’t just brush it off and turn in crappy art. I want to do my best, I want to create the best that I can, I want to push myself harder every time. I think in a lot of ways I achieved all of these things. I was sleep-deprived for the best of reasons and I came out with a lot of good work because of it. I had some fabulous, and some awful teachers but either way– the tools I was being given, were what helped me excel. I am so happy I made the decision to go to this school, even if sometimes I feel like I am digging my own grave in the practical job world.

Oh! That brings me to mention my new job!
I got an AWESOME job at a little German cafe about 2 seconds away from my apartment. It’s called Fehrenbacher Hof and if y’all are ever in the SW neighborhood, you should stop in! Everyone I work with and all the customers are amazing. I meet about a billion new people a day and I love it. Also, I get to drink coffee and espresso all day– which I love.

Winter break is treating me SO WELL. I went home to California for about a week for Christmas. I got to spend only a little bit of time with my family that I love so so so much. Also, for 4 days the guy that I have/had been dating for about a month came down. He was at our house for Christmas and it was a big deal! A little bit bigger of a deal then I initially planned for but it went well; he was a great guest and I enjoyed it, even though it was definitely too soon in the relationship to bring him home. A woman told me the other day to never bring a man home to the family unless there’s a ring on your finger, that’s the only time you need to do it. Ha! The advice I receive on a daily basis being a barista will surely keep me out of therapy…. Even if it is coming from the 80 year-old bag lady.

Well I am your average college student. Sleep deprived.
I feel like my body has been in  some sort of blurry twilight stage for the past 2 months. When I used to REQUIRE 8-10 hours of sleep to even casually function, I now have to deal with 3. It hurts and it’s confusing for my poor body, but it needs to be done.

I’ve got class at 8am, which means I need to be alive at 6am when the night before I was up til 3 either doing work or when my social life takes control of the situation. Yesterday was one of these days. I was running off of about 2.5 hours of sleep. That’s 150 minutes. Or 9,000 SECONDS. That’s it! 9,000 seconds of shut-eye where I wasn’t even able to reach my REM cycle or whatever it’s called. I took a shower before I went to bed and when I woke up my hair was still completely wet. The dark circles under my eyes were more like two black eyes but without gaining street cred.

NOTHING makes sense when you are sleep-deprived. The height of the stair that you just tripped on is definitely at least 2 inches higher than it was yesterday. The inner-workings of a computer are absolutely not explained in anything that even resembles english. Where did my notebook go that I set down literally 2 seconds ago? Where is my mind? Whose hands are these connected to MY arms?! Okay, joking about that last bit, but really! Everything is frustrating when you’re tired. Everyone who speaks a little too slow or who laughs too loud makes you want to wring their neck. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m tired, I have severe thoughts. Like smashing my cup of coffee into the keyboard of a computer and crying and then punching a kitten. I have to literally cross my arms or in my sleep-deprived haze of life I will not be able to control myself. I will just sit their with my arms crossed thinking evil thoughts and then I will think, “wait did I just say that outloud?” I don’t even know.

Is this an issue?
Should I visit the school counselor about this? I don’t even remember what type of person I am when I’m NOT sleep-deprived because even in those sweet nuggets of life where I happen to get more than 5 hours of sleep– my body is like

WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? SLEEP?!

And doesn’t know what to do with it so I end up waking up anyways or just rolling around in bed feeling restless and antsy and despising the itching under my eye-lids that is just too unbearable to even shut my eyes.

ON top of walking around like a cranky 3 year-old zombie every day and never having enough time in the day to actually get all of my work done and let’s not even TALK about how coffee doesn’t wake me up anymore- I need to find a job. Something that seems relatively impossible in this city unless you just happen to know someone who knows someone who is especially special, or something like that.

I am a completely qualified shining star in the work force, except I’m not in the work force. I have the same experience that just about every other 20-something year-old has: waitress, retail, barista, customer service, sales, child-care, nanny. GREAT, nothing special about me. Okay wait yeah right, I am completely special. I have all of that normal work experience but OH MY GOD, I can make people/customers feel special and that ain’t normal in the day-to-day hustle’n’bustle of life. I can multi-task and suck it up and do work that I don’t want to do but will do it anyways to benefit my work place as a whole. YEAH that’s right I can be a selfless happy worker. How often do you find that anymore? I will be your seasonal slave, woops I mean employee, and you will actually want to keep me when new years comes and goes  and you will BEG me to not take that high-paying job in France designing abstract costumes for conceptual theatre.

GOD unemployment sucks when your life demands that you spend money. Money sucks, some days I want to throw everything away and live in a yurt in the forest with naked hippies and build fires and bathe in the river and kill my own food (yes, a carnivorous hippie I would be).

Where did I hear/read this, that your STUFF owns you? Or you ARE the stuff you own? I don’t remember exactly what it was but something along those lines and it made me think oh shit, is that true? Am I really just a pile of clothes and nicknacks and a macbook and a few sewing machines and a bunch of other useless shit? Just thinking about it makes me claustrophobic and embarrassed about owning so much shit.

Where was I going with this?

Alright, enough is enough– I have about half as much homework as I usually do this afternoon and so now I’m going to procrastinate and watch Ma Vie En Rose without the subtitles and see how far I get.

(right now I’m a little distracted because I have friends over doing homework and singing/dancing to donna summer, I’m going to try and focus on writing clear sentences but please please please forgive me if I’m a littler scatter-brained)

SO, my school. It stresses me out, kills me, shoots me down, builds me up, challenges me, and pulls my limbs in every which way…  and all of this  makes me a better artist, member of society, and just a better person in general.  I’ve never felt more like I actually belong somewhere then when I’m here, in Portland, making art.

I thought I’d give you a little treasure map of my life during the week, just because someone might find it interesting and HEY you need to know what I’m doing if I’m not blogging every second of every day. So here’s what my week at PNCA looks like:

Monday morning I wake up before the sun. It’s rough, it’s terrible, I am not meant to rise in the dark. 6AM: I shuffle around the apartment like a zombie. Usually spill my coffee a few times, try to crawl back in to bed (always a bad idea), and eventually I make it out the door… and I almost always forget something, and that’s why there’s a bunch of jumbled post-its around my room with random lists. I am the absolute furthest thing from being a morning person so all of my simple morning tasks take me about triple the time it would for a regular person. After gathering myself for the day I head out on my small 1 mile walk to school. As much as I hate being up before 9am, I love the walk to school. On Mondays I am alone in my trek to PNCA and I love it. It’s an awakening 20 minute walk to school that starts my week off right. When I get to school, I sit in a dimly lit room to watch slides of Paleolithic Art. Art history is fascinating and so inspiring. We ask ourselves the question, how did we discover the ability to make art? So far, we have no traces of bad art. Cave paintings were already so advanced; using symbolism and creative mediums. When was there a time when humans created bad art? I guess that depends on what you think art IS but still, it’s an interesting thought. Have humans always had a natural ability to analyze their world and create art?

After the 3 hours of discussing ancient art and dozing off a dozen times I move in to Digital Tools. A class that I LOVE. Well, I love/hate it. I am okay with a computer, like every other kid my age but I am no genius. Right now we’re learning the ins and outs and ups and downs of photoshop. It is amazing! (plus my teacher is a babe, which makes it much less painful when I’m drowning in the lingo of masking and dodging and burning and spot healing and what the heck does VECTOR mean?!). Let’s see, to my left is a cute guy/man and to my right are two girls I don’t really talk to and all around me there’s the light humming of 20 huge beautiful Mac computers. It’s pretty snazzy. This class makes me really excited about learning. I feel that I am absolutely getting my moneysworth every day. To the average computer joe, photoshop is not that impressive but to me it’s mind-blowing. And I’m just now sort of kind of MAYBE getting the hang of Adobe Illustrator. It all makes me think about going into graphic design/communication design. What do you think? Should I choose a major off of what makes me most happy or what  will possibly give me a successful career? Both are extremely important.

Moving on…  Mondays after digital tools I am done for the day and I come home absolutely pooped and work on homework til the wee hours of the morning, which is not good for my health considering the next day I start all over again at 6am. It’s painful but I’m learning that I can function off of 2 hours of sleep a lot better than I thought. I don’t remember what it’s like to have regular sleeping patterns. I don’t remember what it’s like to function correctly. It’s frustrating some days to not remember how to spell basic words or to forget where I put something only seconds before… But hey, it’s only a few years of my life and I’m young right?

ON Tuesdays I wake up before the sun AGAIN. It’s twice as hard the second day in a row of doing this. I blindly walk in to the kitchen, make coffee, usually knock into a few walls, spill coffee grounds on my bare feet and then there’s the annoying feeling of something crumbly between my toes. Tuesdays are rough. I’m in a raging bitch of a mood and I cringe at the idea of being indoors from 8am-6pm. Tuesdays I have about 5 other people walking to school with me: all equally cranky (with some exceptions) and in need of caffeine. My first class out of three is Time Arts. Our teacher shows us cool videos of fascinating work like that of: marina abramovic (i think that’s how you spell it), arthur ganson, blublu, the yes men…  The exposure to this kind of art is great and opening my eyes to so much. And the Time Based Arts Festival was only 2 weeks after being introduced to this kind of art so it’s all new and exciting. Kind of like when you get new shoes and you can’t stop staring at your feet. I’m pretty mesmerized by the idea of time arts. Right now I’m working on an audio piece. If I can figure it out I’ll post it on here, AS WELL as my animation I made the other week. I’ve been producing SO much work, I feel like a real live artist or something- WHAT? WEIRD?!

After Time Arts I have basic drawing with Arvie Smith, a man who looks and sounds like Morgan Freman so of course– I love this class. Some days it feels excruciatingly basic since I came from an arts based high school and have been studying drawing for many years (not to sound like a pompous dick but, i can draw).. Buuut on the other hand I believe it’s always beneficial to work on what you think you know. So we spend time figure drawing and re-learning perspective and exploring textures and mark-making. We visited a few galleries in the Pearl District this last week and it was exciting. Although it’d be interesting to have a discussion with artists about the cost of some of the paintings we saw. $19,000 for oil on canvas? I’m sure there are plenty of factors in a gallery show that I am unaware of but $19,000 seemed a little steep in some places. Maybe when I’m a starving artist I will disagree.

You know what’s especially pleasant about PNCA? The fact that the entire school has lunch together. My drawing class is 11-3, but from 12:30-1:30 the entire school breaks for lunch. I love the sense of community that this brings to PNCA. It reminds me of elementary school when we all stood in line for a hot lunch and then sat around picnic benches and walked around the track. Everyone was out and available. In college it’s not much different. We sit around outside people-watching and analyzing just about everyone that walks by. PNCA is a small school, only about 600 right now so it’s fun to walk out and be able to say hi to almost everyone that walks by and know their first name. It’s so personal and warm and fuzzy.

After basic drawing I have 2D Design. It’s been okay. I could not stand the teacher in the beginning, but she has grown on me in the best sense. Last week we did linoleum block prints while studying pattern. And since I’d like to major in print-making, it made my little heart flutter. Rolling the ink out, the SOUND of rolling out the ink, using the printing press, peeling the paper off the print– ah! It just feels good to be doing it again.

On Wednesdays I just have Digital Tools, my one day where I get to sleep in and arrive at school at 11am. It’s such a treat, and honestly gets me through the week without a mental breakdown. Also, the free yoga on Tuesdays and Fridays helps with that too. I am once again hooked on yoga. I feel like I’m sort of getting in to a groove here and it’s comforting. I have a pretty rad group of friends that is constantly entertaining, and I somewhat know my way around town… My life is coming together quite nicely (besides the fact that I can’t find a job)

AND dun dun dunnnnn, FRIDAYS I have no school.
but Fridays I sit in my apartment all day attempting to get on top of my schoolwork. It usually doesn’t go as planned. My friend Matty comes over and we try to do homework but really end up listening to 90s music on Pandora and singing and dancing around my room and decide to get food and then the day is lost. Ayyyy.

EXCITING RANDOM NEWS FROM THE FRESHMAN:
I turned 21
I saw Obama (!!!)
I bought a record player
I am the proud owner of a mini cactus
An old man told me I was “enchanting”
I saw a musical (In The Heights). Amazing.
I went to the Rebuild Center
I now own a raincoat
I CAN’T FIND A JOB (oh wait, that’s not exciting)
My favorite glasses broke (okay this isn’t exciting either, just monumental)
I found a free microwave in the hallway of my apartment building

CURRENTLY:
Listening to: Donna Summer (on vinyl)
Studying: color theory, sound art, ink wash figure drawing, adobe illustrator, and ancient roman art
Eating: enchiladas (that I made myself)
Thinking: I have bad breath
Wondering: If I have enough time to finish all my homework tonight

Lets see, I’ll tell you some seemingly important facts about myself before anything else happens here. My full name is Hannah Colleen Meacham. I’m 5’6″ on a good day, so let’s just say I’m 5’4″ with all this slouching going on. I come from Sebastopol, California– a tiny hippie town nestled in Wine Country. I grew up in a family of 5. I have 2 older sisters, a fabulous brother-in-law, a mother, a father, a niece, a new nephew, 2 dogs, and 2 cats (who we’d rather not talk about). I am a Libra, I like to think that means something somewhere. I sew a lot. Actually, I’ve titled it Abstract Sewing. It’s sewing without a pattern and without really having a goal in mind but something incredible always happens, even if you break a few needles along the way trying to stick cardboard through the machine. I’m into costume design. I like to make jokes and make everyone around me laugh, although sometimes it’s just me. GIFTS are my love language. I am a night owl. I like breakfast for dinner. I like food in general, and lots of it. I like to bake cakes from scratch, but I still love good ol’ Funfetti cake from a package. I like clearance bins, free stuff, and finding clothes on the side of the road. I like to make lists of baby names even though I have no intention of having a baby. I am a clothing/fabric hoarder, but at least if I ever end up on the TV show Hoarding: Buried Alive I’ve got one of the first steps covered– recognizing your issues. I love french: speaking it, hearing it, dreaming about it. I collect random trinkets from the streets. I dance, all the time. I listen to indie, hip-hop, funk, classic R&B, folk, a little bit of Mötley Crüe, a little bit of jazz, a little bit of radio pop, and a lot of Michael Jackson. I use Dove cucumber melon deodorant. My go-to meal is top ramen when there’s nothing else in the house. I have always had bangs.

Okay okay alright, I feel as though that might be enough for now. Let’s talk about Portland. Portland is wild. I’ve been here for exactly one month. One wild, sarcastic, random, thrilling month and I know I’ve just barely gotten started. People on the streets love talking to me, and I love talking to them. I came to this city with zero inhibitions and I feel that that is working out quite nicely for me. I still am a little lost here, although if I can find Burnside, I can find my way home. And I actually like feeling lost, it’s more fun that way. Coming from a town with terrible public transportation, riding the street car is like going to a fucking amusement park- I have so much fun I want some cotton candy.

Let’s talk about school. I attend Pacific Northwest College of Art and I love it so far. I visited when I was sixteen and thought it was… okay. I liked the warehouse style building, and the man who recommended this school to me had just gotten back from installing and taking down The Gates by Christo and Jeanne-Claude so I knew this school had to be SORT OF LEGITIMATE if this dude was backing it up. But.. there wasn’t very many students in the building when I toured so it seemed eery and unexciting. They should really think about getting some students to sit around laughing and doing art when they have freshman tours. ON that same day I saw Gus Van Sant at a cafe down the street and thought that was the coolest damn thing in the world. I think that my little celebrity siting actually sold PNCA to me… Because 5 years later, here I am. Thanks Gus, you’re the man.

So far PNCA has been throwing opportunities in my face left and right. Everywhere I look there’s something going on, something inspiring to see, someone to listen to, somewhere to go. The first week I got here they told us about Last Thursday… So my brand new friends and I packed into Courtney’s purple Honda and made our way to Alberta. It was a sensory overload, man. We got there early and had amazing burritos and people-watched and burped and nervously tried to pretend we weren’t new to town. After a while booths started appearing, bike cops strolled, little girls set up cupcake stands; this funky little street came to life. It was magic. So much to look at for what felt like 10 miles. It was so inspiring and eclectic. I love situations like this where it’s completely hands-on and the experience is whatever you want to make of it. We took pictures of everything, even the decaying brick walls of the buildings nearby were awesome to us! We walked up and down Alberta for the entire evening, talking to anyone who would talk back and soaking in all of the art, good and bad. We were like children dancing our way through the streets, loving every second of it with googley eyes. I gave my number to some dude playing music, bought a huge ring for my naked middle finger, purchased fingerless (so my new ring would show) cashmere gloves, and eventually the sun set and we went home. Tuckered out and overwhelmed, in the best way possible.

Other cool things I’ve experienced in my first month: First Thursday, Powells, TBA Festival, ACE hotel’s photobooth, SCRAP, Mississippi Pizza (I still say m-i-s-s-i-s-s-i-p-p-i out loud whenever I spell it), The Bins, Saturday Market… Hmmm, I think this list needs to grow.

HOME for me now, is a college housing apartment building located in Goose Hollow. Within this first month we’ve explored quite a bit of the surrounding area, but not enough. I need some natives to tell me the real down home places to check out. My friends and I like to say we’re still looking for our own “Central Perk” if you know what I mean.. If anyone reading this knows of some great funky places preferably in SW/NW or anywhere easily walkable, let me know.

Any advice on this town in general would be SO welcomed in my book.
IN fact, I’m turning 21 next Wednesday, September 29th. My sister, Elizabeth (who is 27 years-old and once lived in Portland herself…), will be visiting from Colorado. Although she knows of some spots, I’m interested in hearing what sort of places cannot go unnoticed as I’m crawling the streets next week Wednesday through Sunday.

More advice: I need to get a new tattoo. I’ve designed one that will hopefully incorporate the unfortunate tattoo I already have. I don’t know of any good shops here. I’ve done a little research and am interested in Dan Gilsdorf at Atlas Tattoo, BUT honestly I know nothing. Where can I get a good quality tattoo that won’t empty my college savings account?
TODAY
Listening to: Deerhunter
Reading: Ghostworld
Making: 25 second animation
Color my nails are painted: Grey
Days til my 21st birthday: 5
Anyways, homework time.
I’ll post some of my art soon so if any one is curious, you can check it out.

À tout à l’heure!