The Autumn Report
Posted by: amber
Summer is over. TBA is over. The RACC grant deadline is gone. I am now free to sit on my couch and read a novel. So be it. Taking advantage of the suddenly stormy fall weather and the lack of immediate pressures, I have been lying around a bit for the last few days. It's given my brain a chance to process the many performances and art shows I was fortunate enough to see during the TBA festival. It's given my body a respite from the frantic rushing around I've been doing for the last few months. It's very good.
The TBA report:
Due to immersing myself in multiple performances per day over an eleven day period, my thoughts and ideas have been colliding and deflecting off each other, much like a cloud of tiny insects you might ride your bike through on a summer evening. I saw Laurie Anderson, heard stories from the Spalding Grey Project, walked across the stage of Vivarium Studios (a group of lovely French people), watched The Nature Theater of Oklahoma make a dance out of putting their hands in their pockets, and discussed statistics with the rice-piling Stan's Cafe (a group of lovely English people), only to name a few. TBA was a mind boggling overload of amazing performances, without enough time to process all the ideas that were offered. I fear that I came up short in my position on the press corps, if only because it will take me until February to make sense of all the things I witnessed. And February, in internet time, is something like a decade. Who will care in February? I may not have proven myself as the blogger with the most instant art critiquing finesse. But I will still care in February, in the dark of winter. Perhaps then my ideas will flow forth, having organized themselves into articulate, carefully formulated paragraphs. I look forward to that.
The Project Report:
After spending many leisurely months researching and stitching in the privacy of my kitchen, I was forced by my own ambition to push my project ideas onto the world. This summer I applied for a grant in hopes of getting support for my urban planning project. Ultimately, the grant was written. More importantly, I was required to put myself at the mercy of many people who offered their resources, gave me feedback, and discussed ideas with me. All I had to do was ask for help. I'd rather beat my head against a wall than ask for help. It was an excellent exercise for me.
Coming Up:
I will be showing work in Olympia at Artwalk, applying for a few more grants and shows, and eagerly anticipating the arrival of my sister's baby. Oh, and maybe I can spare a few more evenings to just sit on the couch and read.
Pay Attention (More Inspiration part two)
Posted by: amber
On Mondays I go to Art Lecture. This is a weekly activity that I attend for many reasons.
1. I live in Portland. I should do things here in the city where I live.
2. Every week, a new artist, with new ideas and a new perspective on making things in the world.
3. A good excuse to meet up with friends for dinner.
4. Excellent opportunities for post-lecture discussions on ideas. Ideas, my favorite topic of conversation.
5. I feel that it is important to immerse myself in the group of people who are also making things and making things happen here in this place.
I've been noticing that a focus of my attention at Monday lectures has been strangely off kilter. I have been listening to artists speak, secretly comparing my life to theirs. For instance: What makes them a successful artist? Are my ideas more or less complex than theirs? How articulate are they? How did they get that show/residency/acclaim? How can I get it?
It's a pretty ridiculous way to look at somebody's work. It's shallow and egotistic. But I think it reflects where I am right now in time and space. I am groping around in a self-built maze, trying to find my place as an artist in this city.
Cover My Brain With Your Umbrella (More Inspiration, part One)
Posted by: amber
My friend Mary lent me some videos this weekend. I began watching them, expecting to see Bjork dancing around in some weird costume. It was true, she did, but then: I watched the videos made by Michel Gondry . Have you heard of him yet? If you haven't, you're in for a big fat treat. Whether or not you care about bands like Daft Punk or The Chemical Brothers is irrelevant. Michel Gondry breaks down the music into its elemental structure and builds the film from there. Daft Punk turns into a costumed, choreographed hip-hop disco dance wherein each instrument is represented by a different type of dancer. The Chemical Brothers' trippy, repetitive tune is illustrated by a train ride, looking out at the pulsating, manipulated landscape. It looks like the world, sure, but wait- the world is following the beat of the song perfectly. Gondry is brilliant. AND he says this: "Please Bjork help me again these days. Cover my brain with your umbrella."
The $10,000 Idea
Posted by: amber
Did you hear about the meatpackers that just won the lottery? All seven of them get $15.5 million each. They now have the opportunity to think big.
I've been musing lately about my own artwork. I noticed a while ago how I tend to work within my means. I have my kitchen table and a hundred spare dollars, so I make art that I can pull off within that framework.
Then I was seized with a sudden existential art crisis- WHAT IF I AM ONLY CAPABLE OF SMALL IDEAS?
To combat my fear, and to make myself think big, I gave myself a mental challenge: If I was given $10,000 expressly to do an art project, what would I make?
Inside my brain, which I have carefully groomed into a pragmatic and methodical landscape, delicious weeds slowly began to grow. Just by imagining what I might do with a fat stack of cash, those ideas are already taking shape as realistic goals.
Not that my crisis is over. I think it takes a lot of work to rebuild the geography of your mind. It takes conscious and forgiving effort to expand your thoughts and actions.
For me, with my structured tower of a brain, it's good to daydream out onto the horizon every once in while. But really, $10,000 is small potatos. I wonder what I could do with $15.5 million?
