PARENTHETICAL GIRLS (((GRRRLS)))

March 9, 2004

Dear Collaborator, Engineer, Manufacturer, Distributor, Journalist, or Consumer:

The purpose of this correspondence is to convey to you my sincerest apologies for any inconvenience you may have experienced or come to experience with respect to the enclosed sound recording.

Believe me, I’ve done a lot of thinking about this, and I just can’t seem to put into words the sheer depth of humility I feel in regard to this matter. Perhaps if I attempt to illuminate the exact circumstances in which this inexcusable affair was birthed, we may be able to come to some clear resolution.

The record in question, Parenthetical Girls’ self-titled debut (or (((GRRRLS)))) release, began with the purest of intentions: a home recording project of little consequence conceived between two friends with a mutual interest in “boring music” on the eve of 2002. Compiling an innocent assortment of equipment (bass synthesizer, ill-tuned guitar, analog tape delay, and, of course, glockenspiel), the pair embarked on a hopelessly flawed trajectory—to emulate a music only faintly compelling in the atmosphere of its aimlessness—songs without drums, songs without bridges, songs without key changes, songs that were scarcely songs at all. The results, inane as they may have been, were compiled onto low bias cassette tape (split into a strained eight tracks) and labeled “Swastika Girls”—after one of Brian Eno’s less than memorable early compositions. This cassette was mixed down to a single copy, the original tapes promptly lost.

A year later, unapologetic revisionist/group member Zac Pennington decided to re-evaluate the hiss-laden Maxell he and collaborator Jeremy Cooper had happily laid to rest so many months ago—finding in it some spark—a projection of some flawed masterwork that simply had to be realized. And in this dubious glimmer (or rather, the ramifications therein) we find the root of this apology: fueled by a relentless and regrettable self-indulgence, Pennington took it upon himself to “finish” his lost “masterpiece”: rooting through hundreds of unlabelled cassette tapes in a dank storage facility in Everett, Washington, until finally unearthing the original 8-track recordings. Under the capable assistance of reluctant acquaintances Jamie Stewart (Xiu Xiu), and Jherek Bischoff (The Dead Science, Xiu Xiu), this vastly unfit foundation began its retrofitting in form of digital excess, and before too long, six listless sketches became seven top-heavy “compositions.”

As the production sessions progressed ever further, it became evident that the scope of project’s indulgences were about to take an even more unruly turn of narcissism: these seven simple songs, barely carrying the girth of their own glut, would soon be translated into two completely independent mixes—by Stewart and Bischoff, respectively—to adorn either side of a vinyl-exclusive release. This release would soon become “Parenthetical Girls,” the record you now hold. And if I’ve yet to make myself abundantly clear, the measure of my embarrassment exceeds all bounds of practical articulation.

Simply put: I’m sorry. I’m sorry for so profoundly defiling a project of such pure conception, for encumbering my gifted friends with the burden of my elaborate, excessive vanity project, and for not possessing the good sense to simply keep the unruly beast to myself. Though the fact that you now possess this record might seem to suggest otherwise, I honestly regret having burdened the world with the shameless display of arrogance herein. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please accept my humblest apologies with the slight consolation that you’re liable to locate a local used record store that actively purchases these sorts of “Promo Only” materials for illegal resale without much trouble.

Yours Sincerely,

Zac Pennington

Slender Means Society