Author (#32)February 2007 Archives

A message from Tim Janus.

I want a kidney. Not for me. Not for dinner. But for my mom because hers are failing.

You can help if you pass this information on to people you know or if you'd consider undergoing laparoscopic surgery* to donate one of your kidneys. First, however, it's important that you understand that Transplant Ethics and Law require that neither I, nor anyone, give you anything in return for your generous intention and the gift of life you are giving when you give your kidney. Your transplant expenses would be covered, but the gift must be freely given.

My mother is a good person, a caring friend to many and a therapist who helps others cope with life’s challenges and make positive changes in their lives. I can't begin to adequately express my admiration and love for her. It exceeds anything of which many of you would think me capable. Now she needs a living kidney, and neither my sister nor I are good matches for her.

To be a donor you need to be a generally healthy adult with Type “O” blood, who has not had any of the following health problems:
Cancer
Diabetes
Elevated blood pressure (although elevated cholesterol may not be a problem)
Serious heart problems, such as previous heart attack or use of stents.

If you're interested in becoming a donor, please contact my mom at lucindakidney@sbcglobal.net and tell her that you’d like more information. If you find that you'd like to continue, she'll have the Transplant Donor Coordinator contact you. The Coordinator will ask you questions about your interest in donating and about your health. All your answers will be held in strict confidence.

The Transplant Coordinator can make an appointment for you to have a free blood test. If you're from outside Connecticut, she'll mail you several vials to be taken to a laboratory near you for use when your blood is drawn. The tests will be paid for by my mom’s insurance, except for the small charge of having a lab technician draw your blood. Instructions will come with the vials.

Because kidney donation requires a careful evaluation and that the donor travels to my mom’s hospital in Connecticut, donor candidates should be living in the United States.

Thank you for your generosity in considering giving this lifesaving gift.

*Laparoscopic surgery has made donating a kidney far easier than it had been in the past. Today a kidney donor can expect a couple of days in the hospital, a couple of very small scars, and couple of weeks at home away from work to fully recover. Most donors are back to their normal routines within 2-3 weeks. The surgery does not impact one's quality of life or life expectancy. Statistically, childbirth is six times as dangerous as laparoscopic kidney surgery.

And please, if anyone would link his or her own website to this story, I'll thank you very much.

"Bwayla is a stupid man and a hopeless player. He has a huge nose and is cross-eyed. Girls hate him. He beat me because my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves he farts, and that made me lose my concentration, for which I am famous throughout Zambia."

-Lighton Ndefwayl, a Zambian tennis player, responding to a 1992 defeat at the hands of countryman Musumba Bwayla.

Lighton Ndefwayl may once have been a pretty good athlete, but a pretty good sport he was not. That quote? I kinda like it, but only because it's funny. Otherwise I'm not a big fan. I don't think athletes should make excuses when they lose.

I think they should make them beforehand.

If they feel good, say, "I feel bad." And if they bad, say, "Oh, it's the worst!" A good excuse, if laid properly and long before an endeavor begins, is a simple way for one to save face. I believe that much with all of my heart.

And so too does Eater X, although you'd hardly know it by what's been printed lately. By all accounts in all the papers, Eater X is a gracious good sport. Not a single excuse to his credit.

"But it's not like I haven't tried," he said when I saw him in Austin last week. The stress and the worry were evident on his face and in his voice. "I've been trying to plant good excuses. Honest. I'm always trying. You know that."

"So then what's gone wrong?" I asked him.

"No one will ask me 'The Question," he said. His words were pointed. His tone was deadly serious.

'The Question' to which Eater X was referring is a question typically asked by most reporters: How do you think you'll do on Saturday? Whenever possible Eater X embraces the query as an opportunity to explain why he'll fail.

The contest is too short.

The food is too chewy.

It doesn't suit my strengths!

He's got a million of them. He believes them all. And he loves to lay them down.

"I swear to God those things matter," he told me one time long ago.

"I know they do," I told him back.

And it's true. They do. They matter. But people often overlook them. And so Eater X has made it his mission to call attention to them whenever possible.

Before the Pretzel Twister World Pretzel Eating Contest two weeks ago in Miami, Eater X paced backstage nervously. He'd combed through the morning's papers and read every article. Each one had painted him as confident. He worried what people would say when he lost.

"They're gonna think I had a bad day," he said, "when in fact I truly can't win it. This food is too chewy for me. It doesn't conform to the size and shape of my throat. It's gonna be a swallowing contest, not an eating contest!" He was panicking, and soon so was I.

"Can we blame it on Y2K?" I asked.

"I doubt it," he said, "but I'll try."

But fortunately he didn't. As Eater X took the stage that day a few minutes before the contest began, he scanned the crowd and, finding me, winked. "He's got it!" I thought. "An excuse. He's thought of one at last." I hoped he'd found a reporter in time to record his concerns beforehand. I studied his face. He looked comfortable, which convinced me that he had.

As the contest began and the eaters dug in, Eater X took a curious tack: he untied each of his pretzels, wasting precious time. And when the dust had settled and the food had been chewed and all the pretzels counted, Eater X had finished a distant second to the winner, Joey Chestnut. It broke my heart, it turned me red and made me want to break things.

"Eater X," I said shaking my head as I approached him after the contest. "What were you doing up there? You looked awful. Why on earth untie them?"

Eater X smiled and took a bite of a piece of pretzel and spoke through a mouthful of food. "I needed to have an excuse for losing. I gave them one today."

And I looked at him and, getting it then, I finished his crafty thought: "And you didn't do it after the fact! Good job!"