Hypocrisy
I am so angry. So angry! I AM SO ANGRY!
(mimicking a crowd at a comedy show) HOW ANGRY ARE YOU?
Stop it! I’m not kidding. I am very angry. Very, very, very angry.
Okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Why are you so angry?
Because OJ Rifkin lied to me! He…she...it (?!?) lied!
Wait. OJ Rifkin lied to you? Are you sure?
Yes. I’m sure. I’m very sure. I’m super sure in fact.
(confused) But that doesn’t sound like something OJ Rifkin would do? OJ Rifkin hates lies. He took liars to task in a post a few days ago. He practically called Eater X a liar!
OJ Rifkin doesn’t hate lies. OJ Rifkin can’t hate lies. He's as big a liar as anyone else. He’d have to hate himself to hate lies.
Okay then. I’ve got to ask. Tell me, How exactly did OJ Rifkin lie to you?
Because he goes by the name OJ Rifkin. He's been writing under a pseudonym!
Geez. You’re right. He does. He has. (pause) Do you think he just forgot?
dont we all love lies?
truth wont get you through the day
fib to me, sweetly.
:)
The seas have been quiet like a chainsaw felling a weeping willow (I used to date Inga Smallshorn, the former clean-and-jerk East German champ who retired to a life of lumberjacking in Oregon). I think that perhaps the most dreaded of all things is going on. Could it be that The Shrimper and Lobster Larry have picked up two (or three) renegade eaters who seek to join the CCCP in Cuba? Or perhaps are they accompanying the diabolical seamen to Japan to pick up the barely human, lightly textured Custard Baby? And if so, will they then travel to Atlantic City with intentions of fishnapping Whistlepea while The Whaler is distracted watching Eater X consume meatballs made with just a touch of lemon juice? Or perhaps, I'm wrong, and its just the calm before the storm before the tap dance number. Ohhh, that peach schnapps is sooooo gooood in the morning. Peach Schnapps omlete, order up!
Good point!
Dear Whalehead,
If Chip Simpson and Alan Goldfine are related could OJ Rifkin and OJ Simpson be the same person. They both have been in the news a lot lately but I don't think they have been seen together. Chip and Alan have, I think, so we know they are not the same person. Are you the same person as that guy on the cereal box? I think so. DO you like cereal and if so how much.
xoxo,
Monica
check you pants, they on water
they on flame. i think about it and my friend help write it. liar liar liar pants on the flame. can i get a subscpition
Point well taken
match point
needle point
whats the point of all this
He hasn't been to work in two weeks. Word around the water cooler is its leprocy. His filthy cup is still in his cubiocle...the boss, I must away
Thanks for ruining the gig. Three years of planning down the drain.
To Not a Liz Fan...look to the buggles to assess blame...video killed the posole star. That's the skinny.
I can't stay quiet anymore. I'm at the quik-e mart off Shelburn on their internet hook-up. Sometimes I sleep in the back lot under the dumpster. This time last year I had it all..a job I loved with the Atlantic City Casino Taskforce. Oh I'd kill for my job back at ACCT. I just might. I might just kill that peg-legged glass eye bastard shrimpman if he show up here. I don't know what went down from some guy with a missing forearm living under a table in that italian restaurant at the trop to crazy Mr. Dooley and the mural on the gym wall at AC high. That stupid kid who cost me my job when we couldn't find him and then those two really weird kids who told me how to "time travel" to find what's his name, joey whatever. I threw those nerds out of the ACCT office and then they proved that it was time travel and Dooley disappeared....I don't know man, its just seems so implausible. And now I'm a dumpster diver, just like those rats I use to scare with my casino night stick. Well, I'll tell you if I see that shrimp guy, he's a goner. And I'll be on the look-out. Like a steak-out. Oh for a steak.
What is that haunting music at mosesnews. It makes me want to wrap myself in glitterly silk and dance like a gypsy woman. Oh glorious day!
Ginna here...any comment on the news that Helen "The Face that lunched a thousand shits" Haggerity is dating The Whaler. And if so, is it serious, I mean are they going to adopt a third world orphan? And, more importantly when can we expect the break-up. Will Helen be photographed with Britney, Paris, and Linsey or does she not like the Chateau Marmont? Is Helen leavining The Whaler for Kid Rock and could that mean that Borat and Pamela will be re-united once again?
Also, are there any openning at this blog? Where do I send a resume. I need a real job, bad like.
Ginna
Oh dear heaven in god....oh my oh my oh my! My worst fears have been confirmed. Its all true, its all true The Shrimper, Japan, Cuba, Custard Baby, the Isle of Atlantic City, Lobster Larry, Petersen, Edgar and the CCCP and Fidel and Castro...oh the boat rocks, oh my.
I have been taking a few community theater drama classes and I am so smitten with the teacher, Helma Snitz, that she recommened I try the "Method" approach to acting and incorporate it into everything I do. I was being, dramatic. But is still all true that Whistlepea, her blessed sweet fish soul, is in grave danger. Last week, Helma had me try the "Stanasolvski" method of acting. I had to repeatedly fall down the stairs. Oh anything for the craft, anything for Helma....the love of my life, the candle that holds the wax to my ear, the burning ember of passion, heat, and microwaves.
Actually, I was acting again. I like her, but I am worried that she may be too old for me. She dated Teddy Roosevelt in her younger years. I think the coger got to second base too. Talk about getting over the depression. The acting class has replaced the bottle for me and now I am sober...and acting (at least since Monday).
Look out Whistlepea, sweet fish. And Helma, my sweet tuna! Toot Sweet!
Can't we all just get along?
What? Are you kidding me? How could you not be a Skinnyboy fan? That is just plain rude to even think about.
That's hot.
Dear Still not a liz fan,
I don't get it. I get the skinny, but I only like the pictures of bathrooms and skylines, maybve he should just stick to photography. all the eating stuff is like, I'm gonna break this record but now I've changed the record so I did break it. Or like look at this big meal I ate. I walk up a lot of stairs but I dont have a whole website devoted to it. Look at me, I;m walking up stairs and tomorrow I'm going to walk up more stairs. I'm going to walk up the stairway to heaven (oh wait, I'm tired but Heaven is everywhere so I guess I did walk up that stairway to Heaven - victory again). Plus that whole photo video thing of haggerity and ruinning the joke right off the bat. Whats up with that? That's why I'm not a fan, but then again I never met the guy so maybe Im way off base. He looks like Moby, maybe I'll start listening to Moby again and become a Skinnyboy fan. Who do you listen to, not a liz fan
Whaler,
I have a most pressing question that must be answered before this week-end. Is Whistlepea a Jewel fan? Must know immmediately.
Gumshoe LaChance
Back on the sauce, back on the case...Helma left me to tour with, "The Tennesee Famous Dancing Grandmas"
Who is the Whaler's publicist and can he/she/them answer if Helen Haggerty wears underwear with tight skirts? Also, what other famous clients do he/she/them represent and do those clients wear underwear? For the record, I am wearing two pairs right now. You have to be so careful with short skirts and the pooparrazzi.
Look again.
Looooooooking! Nothing yet!
Found a half eaten bagel today that I fought a seagull for. Bastard bird nearly poked my eye out. Shrimper, I hope you are coming. I'm waiting...I'll snap you like I snapped the gulls neck. Come to think of it, gull might be nice all grilled.
Just like you never know what a Scotsman has on under his kilt, you never know what Helen wears under her skirts.
Your Skinnyboy must just need attention. Anyone who has a blog really just wants attention. The Whaler can relate, Liz can relate, and anybody else can relate too. I think your stair blog is a super idea that would pull in all kinds of attention for you. Moby is God.
I am using my one phone call as an email to you bozos at this site. Oh cruel twist of fate has put me, the former golden boy of ACCT in the ACCT slammer. All for a little misunderstanding at the Jewel concert. I believe The Shrimper was there and had I not charged the stage then that stupdid fish whistepea would have been shanked by a shrimp fork. Now I'm looking at jail time in the once place I called home. Cursed.
My sources indicate that The Shrimper's boat was seen off the coast of Brazil. If Edgar, Castro Intestinal, and the dingbat duo of Shrimp and Lobster were anywhere near the Isle of Atlantic City, I would have been alerted. And then I would have put on my slippers and some clothes. Petersen is obviously suffering from Glenfarb's Syndrome named for Flipper Glenfarb who imagined himself as his canary one thursday morning and switched places with the bird. Last I heard Glenfarb was pecking the rubber walls in an asylum in Denver. I believe the canary went on to a promising singing career and even recorded a duet with Rosmary Clooney.
I've got one slipper on. I'm on my way to Atlantic City to at least follow up on Petersen's claims. It gives me a chance to ask him about Dooley and the mural. Also, I love that baccarat game and the little peanuts they serve on the plane. I also like terrycloth against my naked backside. Oh, and unicorns. I will report back with my findings.
I have my other slipper. I am on my way to Dulles. And then Atlantic City. With peanuts.
"There is strong evidence suggesting that these Neanderthals were eaten,"
Whatever you do, don't let Phil the Filler post on this site. His behavior is boorish and uncalled for. I say Ban him from posting. Ban him now!
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I'm telling you. What Phil the Filler did was implorable and don't under any circumstance let him post any comments here. Don't do it.
I hate pseudonyms, noms de plume and aliases. Everyone who uses one is, if not a liar and a coward, at least decidedly shifty. Anyone who uses many is almost certainly insane.
I once adopted an alternate identity, but we argued about the curtains and I had to move out.
Tell me about it. Imagine going through life with your real name being mine. Its like no one ever believes you and it really bites the big one. I say be honest with others and you can be honest with yourself. Don't hide behind what you think people won;t like about you when they will if you let them know who you are. A name by any other name is spelled just as sweet. Is brazen your real name? What kind of curtains?
Why is there no eating news on this site. with everything that is happening you would think the whaler would have something to say. with cheating at meatballs, with moonachie pat being treated fairly and booted, and with the fake wing bowl event which is so fake its sad that anyone could think its a real contest and not an excuse for drinking and stripping and two shithead djs to promote themselves and their lousy football team you would think that the whaler would say something about eater x's feelings about it all. but i guess he wants all these bonehead comments instead just like moonahcies friends. and brian should get a life its all just so sad.
Reinstate Pat or we will take this site down. We rule the world you stupid shits and we have the final say. Reinstate Pat or else! Opie and Andy know best. We are the PEsts. We can rule the world if we want to. What the fuck is this site anyway? No one is smarter than we!
Only "sweet" is spelled as sweet. Except when "suite" is mis-spelled.
What kind of curtains is just the point, damn it. Must you bring up the cause of months of legal negotiations and emotional counselling? *sniff*
Brazen is -a- real name, but ultimate custody has yet to be established.
I resent that. And I have sent the curtains for steam cleaning
Yeahhhh. There all behind me you stupid eating site and we are shutting you down. Huse with me...whackbag is. Here we go...
Yeah, we made it happen. The Pests rule, we shut down your site...everybody posted. Wait, what the f, I'm the only one? I'm a whackbag army of one? Oh, man maybe I'm all wrong here. I thought I could count on my friends, but maybe my friends are a bunch of sophmoric adolescent racist sexist idiots who blindly follow "entertaining" millionaires no matter what they say (like a lot of other historical mobs) and who hide behind the internet just like me. Man, maybe I'm the biggest loser of them all, but if I realize it, then maybe they are lower losers than me. I think I'll go listen to Howard Stern.
Reporting from Atlantic City. I'm on the boardwalk getting a smoothie. It is slightly frigid out here in my slippers. Things are getting interesting. I have a meeting at Atlantic City High School later today. I must find some pants. This robe is not becoming of a private dick of my stucco.
Reporting from Atlantic City. I'm on the boardwalk getting a smoothie. It is slightly frigid out here in my slippers. Things are getting interesting. I have a meeting at Atlantic City High School later today. I must find some pants. This robe is not becoming of a private dick of my stucco.
The cup is still there and its turning green
The cup is still there and its turning green
No phil the filler. ever
MY NAME IS ERNEST AND I AM A SUPERCOOL INVENTOR. IN 2004 I MADE THE MEATEVAPORIZER 7000. IT IS LIKE A RAY GUN THAT MAKES MEAT DISAPEER INTO THIN AIR. IN 2004 I GAVE MY GUN TO ROBERT SHOUB AFTER I DISCOVERED ITS FATAL FLAW - IT CAN ONLY MAKE MEAT WITH TOO MUCH GARLIC IN IT DISAPPEAR. I TOLD HIM NOT TO USE IT BECUASE IN 2004 IT ONLY HAD A SMALL CAPACITY FOR GARLIC MEAT. ROBERT SHOUB HAS USED IT EVERY YEAR [2004 - 2006] AND I BELIVE HE HAS TINKERED WITH IT TO MAKE ITS 4TH DIMENSION [THATS WHERE THE MEAT GOES] MEAT CAPACITY EXPAND T0 ALMOST 10 POUNDS. THE MEAT CAPACITY EXPANDER BUTTON IS YELLOW BUT I DIDNT THINK IT WORKED. I WOULD LIKE THE 2500 DOLLAR REWARD TO GO TO THE DUNGENS AND DRAGONS TEAM OF CLARENCE HIGH SCHOOL. I AM A SUPERCOOL INVENTOR. SCIENCE RULES. MY NEW INVENTION IS GLASSES THAT MAKE YOU SEE THE PERSON WHO HAS WRITTEN STUFF ON COMPUTERS NO MATTER WHERE THEY ARE OR WHO THEY ARE. I THINK MY EXPOSER GLASSES 2.6 WILL GREATLY HELP SHEEPFARMERS
That smoothie went right through me like castor oil. Still it lead to an interesting discovery carved into the wall of the boys room at Atlantic City High. I am now off to ACCT headquarters to see about Petersen and then perhaps I will visit table 12 and the site of Lobster Larry's hiding. I may even swing by the so called crime scene of the most recent balled meat contest. I've got a busy afternoon planned. These slippers better hold up. By the way, Dooley the janitor was right on the money and not the looney bird everyone made him out to be. Gumshoe...on the case, its the only LaChance we've got.
sung to row, row, row your boat:
Whaler, he's the whalest
He's a whale hunter
He's a whale stunter
maryland maryland maryland maryland
whaler is such a dream
come on mAN, give us somehing to read
I dominate this blog! I am the blog dominator!
That shoudt guy definately cheated at meatballs and I have the video. The Baca family gets the money.
ullshit. I got the camcorder on the shout eater and he was tossing balls, we get the money
http://www.kirotv.com/food/4953165/detail.html
This is a post of the emergency posting system. In the event of a real emergency...um, well, I don't really know what happens
Ask me tomorrow
Typical. They were dry-clean only.
Ahh the cold wind whipping at my slippers, the breeze harshly blowing through my hair (I wish the Ocean would give my toupee back). I can understand the Whaler's love of the sea. In the nations capital its so hard to see the Ocean, but here in Atlantic City its as plain as day. Granted right now my view is blocked by a giant wheel game that is ringing in my ears. I was at ACCTF this morning and met with Petersen. They have agreed to a walk-through of Table 12, the site that Lobster Larry lived under until New Year's Eve of 2006. Of course, that was the same night that Joey Blotto was revealed to have stashed The Shrimper under the gym stairs at Atlantic City High. It was Christmas Eve that the Shrimper had mysteriously disappeared under the less-than watchful eye of then ACCTF (Atlantic City Casino Task Force)Sergent Petersen. What I saw at Altantic City High yesterday makes me believe that Joey Blotto did not act on his own. Of course, the strange mural on the gym wall, the disapearance of Mr. Dooley (only to be found later as king of a small group of pgymies in the Brazilian Jungle), is all still unexplained. However, what I saw on the wall of the men's room while I was crapping out that fake fruit smoothie, makes me believe that an young enterprising student named Rubik was partailly responsible for The Shrimper's freedom. Also, time travel, the fourth dimension, an alternate reality, and two quarts of low-fat yogurt. Later today, I will meet with ACCTF officers with Petersen in tow and we will walk the italian restaurant and particularly table 12. It is my belief that the answers will be found there. However, I have also contacted Irma Spectator, the leading casino forensic psychic to join us. I can only hope that that delusional Petersen (now homeless and missing his two front teeth) can be kept at bay. He was arrested at the Jewel concert on Dec 6th claiming that Whistlepea, the beloved pet goldfish of the The Whaler, was in grave danger. I believe the key lies with what was scrawled on the bathroom wall at Atlantic City High, but as a private dick with seven years at the academy expirience (and twelve shaky years in the field) I know every lead must be followed, every rock must be turned belly-up, and every smoothie must be avoided. I will not rest until this case (The case of the fishnapping of Whistlepea) is solved. I will not rest until all the answers are known. Right now, I am off to take a nap.
Hey, Howard Stern is kinda funny. THose O and A guys suck the big one. I never follow another disc jockey's stupid instructions again. I'll never be a follower again. Whackbag had it all wrong. Does anyone know where the baba booey parade starts I want to get in the back.
I'm a dancing fool.........look at me dance!!!!!
GUMSHOE, YOU SHOULD TEAM UP WITH AGENT 44 AND OFFICER SHTUPP FROM EATFEATS AND FIGURE OUT WHO OJ RIFKIN IS. AFTER YOU SAVE WHISTLEPEA OF COURSE.
WAY too much free time guys. WWAAYY too much.
oui oui!
Still waiting on Irma and Petersen for the walk-through. I think I'll head over to those baccarat tables and maybe get a few finger sandwiches from the bar
I'm still dancing...still dancing. Look at me dance
Ask me tomorrow
69 comments......whoo hooooo. Aw crap, this makes it 70. Now its no fun. I'm off to www.mindinthegutter.com click on the link for the "Tiajuana Lunchlady Special" Oh so dirty.
i have no idea what time it is or what day but i believe that i have been up for about four days straight on baccarat binge the likes of the world has never seen since limburg marched through atlanta at shark feeding time. wait that sounds like don lerman i must be deluded. i was on a baccarat roll like burt...wait why am i here. oh yeah so i meet with the pyschic investigtor aznd. oh its so hard to tright perhaps a little nappy-poo
Ask me tomorrow
Ask me tomorrow
Oh cursed gambling. I am in the very same cell as that whackejob Petersen (who is reading over my shoulder and has just pointed out that whackejob has no e). This is my one phone call allowed, but I realized that the only number I have committed to memory is that of a roto rooter service for port-a-potties. Clearly, I had no options except to post here in the hopes that someone can bail me out. I have the results of the pyschic walkthrough, but alas, I am out of time. Also Petersen wants the roto-rooter number. Mr. Dooley, if you can hear me...help us.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...yebib!Im out of the clink and that gumhead guy is still in there, hows that for justice. I'll tell ya these ACCT guys are so wimpy compared to when I ran the joint, all I did to get out was make pruno out of the toliet bowl and drink a few quarts. It took me a week until the jello fermented and the bubbles started to pop to the surface, but then it was like New Year's Eve. I was glugging toliet pruno and dancing. They declared me mentally unfit and slighty unsantitary and sent me on my way. Screw you Shrimper and Gumhead and all you people who come to atlantic city to screw up the place with your contests and gambling. Now, at last the place is mine again. I am king and the dumpster is my kingdom...I am reborn. I am Petersen The Magnificent. Seagulls bow to me.
Is it tomorrow yet?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I see you shrimper and the guy with the missing forearm and two weird looking dudes with one with a name tag that's says, "call me Edgar because my name is Edgar" and I see...crap what the hell is that? It looks like a baby made out of pudding. Its jumping up and down, man, that really freaks me out, man. Maybe I had too much pruno in the joint. The boat is 100 feet off shore and I'm going to the dumpster to find a sword or a stick or something and I'm gonna attack that glass eyed, peg legged bastard Shrimper. And if I see the Whaler too, I'll attack him because I am the King of Atlantic City Dumpsters and I'll get the two weird guys and rip off the nametag and even the lobster guy with the missing forearm, all though I recall him being quite pleasant after I apprehended him last year under table 12 of Carmines. I'll attack them all. I think not the pudding baby, though. I'm leaving that one alone. Whose with me CHARGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee
Ohhhhh it was horrible. Just horrible. Something that blob of pudding or whatever jumped all over me. It kept yelling, 'I am Custard Baby and I will love you. Are you Whistlepea" over and over again while covering me and, dare I say it, humping me. Oh it was so embarrashing and then when I said that i was Petersent the Magnificent not whistlepea, it bite off my nose and swam back to the boat. Oh the pain is unbearable. Curse you Custard Baby, ohhhhhhhhh. No one joined me in the charge, I might add too.
Oh sweet jebus the rest of my nose has follen off. If you could hear me typing it would be in a very snuffley accent as someone would speak without a nose, like me. DAMN YOU CUSTARD BABY. DAMU.
The chill in the air is almost unbearable. At least I thought it was until I realized I was sleeping in the 7-11 outdoor ice cooler and not my comfy dumpster. I can't smell a thing without my nose, DAMN YOU CUSTARD BABY, and I miss the smell of ice the most. I guess I do, I'm not sure I remember if ice smells but thats what I miss. Also, busting tourists falling asleep at the slot machines for loitering on Christmas Eve. I use to love that racket. This christmas eve I have other plans if you know what I mean. And if you don't just know that I miss that stupid Gumshoe guy and sharing a cell with him at ACCT. It seems like they got him all shackeled up just like we had The Shrimper until Joey Blotto and that weird kid broke him out on Christmas. Well, that ole gumshoe might just get what he wants from Santa after all. You'll see, but it will take some undercover hiding to make it work. I'm off to the lumbar yard and the ribbon store, but you'll hear from me, And if you hear the wearabouts of my nose, DAM YOU CUSWTAND NANA, and you let me know, you know, thatd be grateful. Those guys at ACCT won't know what hit em....I'm gonna sleigh em good. Did you know ice also comes in ovals besides cubes. The so pretty.
Its true that the countdown to comment 100 has started and that on the strike of midnight on New Years Eve, the 100th comment will drop on this site. Oh who knows if it will be a crazy rant or something to do with Eater X and eating. The countdown has begun...81, do I hear 82?
82!!
now what?
Yeah, mofos, here is 83
I have a lot of free time since I just celebrated my birthday. Man, those scientologist throw a hell of a bang. You would have thought the buddist were nudist the way they were prancing around bare and pushing the muslims into the french onion dip. I had to pay for three burkas to be dry-cleaned. Still though, best birthday party ever! Comment 84 is from the Lord (sort of)I wanted it to rhyme...I've been working on some limericks for the new year.
Oh yeah babay I am still dancing....I'm just a dancing fool
is this dave walters writing this blog?
nevermind. i may be the worst detective in the history of detectives.
in any event: credit where it's due. i applaud your blog. and your eating. to think i know someone famous! i mean Famous!
I resent those comments as I am the original worst detective. And Dave Walters is a big fat wussbag.
Uh uh. I am the orignal worst detective allthough we can all agree that Dave Walters is a pea-brain.
Dave Walters? That old sally weight.
AHHHH Haaaaaa ha (cough). I am off to break into ACCT to bust out that stupid Gumshoe LaChance. If that shrimper idiot could be busted out last Christmas by my former nemesis and high school bully, Joey Blotto, then I can take down the bars that hold my former cell mate of a few weeks ago. I used to work the New Years Eve shift and celebrate at midnight with a shot a prune juice and the February issue of Juggs Magazine. It was usually a double issue. But not this year. This year is all about revenge...and I shall have it on the Shrimper, the whaler, those weird kids and that pudding baby blob that sexually assulted me on the beach. And again on the boardwalk. And once by the smoothie place. Revenge is a dish best served as an appitizer. That what my uncle Gary used to say. And he invented Karaoke, so he should know
I am no longer dancing. I have sprained my ankle
OFFICER SHHHHTINK AND INSPECTOR NOODLE WORK DIRT CHEAP. YOU SHOULD INQUIRE ABOUT THEIR SERVICES
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WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.............................................................100 comments about OJ rifkin being mad that someone else pretended to be someone else, that moral indignation seeped into egg nog and meatballs, that a custard baby seemed to rape some deranged lunatic at Atlantic City, and that that stupid dancing fool finally finally stopped dancing. It's the stroke of midnight where I am? Try to guess that location officers shup, stink, agent 44, and Gumshoe LaPants...
ITS 2008 YALL YEAR OF THE WHALER (if he ever posts again).
Paul Mercucio, OUT!
By the way, Phil the Filler is a lovely man who likes to garden in his spare time.
Ack. What the hell. I just got back. Actually, I just woke up and I have a lump on my head the size of a lump. I can't remember much, but I have another lump on my head. This one is the size of the one on the other side. I also have a roll of toliet paper thats been written on. It starts by saying, "this toliet paper scroll is could be my last writings as I, Gumshoe LaChance, may be on my last case. I am in solitary confinem..sorry. I sneezed. I think the other stuff is a little runny and I am having trouble reading in with all this snot. I'm going to let it dry out in the sun. I can make out the word, "feckless" and "Albatross" but that's about it for now. Crap, I sneezed again.
Man, who knew with no nose snot would still come out. It just dribbles down my face, but I don't notice until it ends up in my mouth. What a mess...plus I sound like minnie mouse on helium. No one in the dumpster community takes me seriously. Heres what I have so far of the toliet paper from Gumshoe. He writes, "The cell reminds me...wait, a slow injured seagull. I'll feast tonight. Must go.
Extra Extra Read All About It. Whaler off shore and on high seas in pursuit of renegade Shrimper Boat heading to Cuba. Prisoner on board! Also a captive! Extra Extra.
Well, that would explain why there have been no Whaler sitings or posts recently. Either that or he was so perturbed by something written about Eater X on this site and just stopped posting. Right now its like a runaway freight train with a bunch of mental patients as conductors. Where's the censorship? Where's the editorial? You can't just let these wackos write anything they want. People lie, steal, and cheat but don't let it happen on a perfectly good blog with nice wallpaper. If somebody hurt Eater X's feelings (seems like OJ Rifkin did from the post) then the Whaler should defend his favorite son. Or if it is something else, Whaler let us know. Let the healing or the hurting begin.
Still tender to the touch
i'm gonna test this ankle out tomorrow and if it holds the Dancing Fool will be back
I was there and tim janoos won and joey and humbe bob cheaterd.
Extra Extra read all about it. Dancing Fool tries tender ankle to no avail. Cast ensues. Extra Extra
Extra Extra read all about it. Dancing Fool tries tender ankle to no avail. Cast ensues. Extra Extra
Sorting through all this stuff is not easy, but well worth the effort if you like a puzzle. I believe that The Whaler has not updated this site because he (like The Shrimper, etc) is off the coast of Japan.
Take a look at this (of course, we know which side he's on):
TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan has called a special meeting of members of an international whaling group next month to help lift a global moratorium on hunting of whales, but several countries opposed to the practice may boycott the assembly.
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The absence of anti-whaling nations from the meeting of members of the International Whaling Commission could leave the future of the world body in doubt.
Japan, which with other pro-whaling nations has long argued that the fractious IWC is no longer functional, offered last year to host a first-ever gathering to "normalize" the group.
The meeting, to be held from February 13 to 15 in Tokyo, was officially announced on Thursday, just a day before international environmental group Greenpeace will set sail from New Zealand to again confront Japanese ships in the Southern Ocean which are carrying out what it calls scientific whaling.
Invitations were issued to all 72 IWC members, but so far only a handful of anti-whaling nations have said they will attend, Fisheries Agency official Hideki Moronuki said.
Some 26 anti-whaling nations, including Australia, have agreed to boycott the meeting, an Australian government official was quoted by the Fairfax newspapers in Australia as saying. Australian officials were not available for comment.
"It's really a shame if that occurs, and would make it very hard to see how the IWC proceeds from here on," Moronuki said.
"We're saying that we want to normalize, but if that article is true our opponents have chosen confrontation over conversation, and the meaning of the IWC is lost," he added.
The IWC presides over the fate of the Earth's largest creatures, which were almost driven to extinction before the whaling ban in 1986.
But the group is bitterly divided between countries that think whales still need to be protected, such as Australia, Britain and New Zealand, and countries that think some species are sufficiently abundant to be hunted again.
Japan, which leads the pro-whaling bloc and has gathered powerful support from African, Pacific and Caribbean nations, has killed thousands of whales since 1986 under a scientific whaling programme. Iceland and Norway ignore the moratorium and conduct commercial whaling.
Activists took a dim view of the renewed push for whaling.
"I think that there are things about the IWC that need to be changed, that need to be brought into the 21st century, but commercialisation is not one of them," said Bunny McDiarmid, executive director of Greenpeace New Zealand.
Some Japanese politicians have said leaving the IWC cannot be ruled out at some point in the future if nothing changes.
CULTURAL TRADITION
Japan says eating whale meat is a cherished cultural tradition, and along with other whaling nations says there are enough stocks of some whale species to allow limited hunting.
Japan gave up commercial whaling in line with the international ban, but began hunting the animals in 1987 in what it calls scientific research. The meat ends up in gourmet restaurants and on supermarket shelves.
Tokyo maintains that it will not hunt endangered species but that others, such as the minke, are abundant enough for limited hunting. In its annual Antarctic hunt, which lasts until April, it has a target of roughly 860 whales, almost all minkes.
On Friday, the Greenpeace ship Esperanza will sail from Auckland on New Zealand's north island for the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary to try and come between the ships and their prey.
The mission, which will last seven weeks, mirrors a 2006 campaign, which Greenpeace says saved 86 whales.
Sorting through all this stuff is not easy, but well worth the effort if you like a puzzle. I believe that The Whaler has not updated this site because he (like The Shrimper, etc) is off the coast of Japan.
Take a look at this (of course, we know which side he's on):
TOKYO (Reuters) - Japan has called a special meeting of members of an international whaling group next month to help lift a global moratorium on hunting of whales, but several countries opposed to the practice may boycott the assembly.
ADVERTISEMENT
The absence of anti-whaling nations from the meeting of members of the International Whaling Commission could leave the future of the world body in doubt.
Japan, which with other pro-whaling nations has long argued that the fractious IWC is no longer functional, offered last year to host a first-ever gathering to "normalize" the group.
The meeting, to be held from February 13 to 15 in Tokyo, was officially announced on Thursday, just a day before international environmental group Greenpeace will set sail from New Zealand to again confront Japanese ships in the Southern Ocean which are carrying out what it calls scientific whaling.
Invitations were issued to all 72 IWC members, but so far only a handful of anti-whaling nations have said they will attend, Fisheries Agency official Hideki Moronuki said.
Some 26 anti-whaling nations, including Australia, have agreed to boycott the meeting, an Australian government official was quoted by the Fairfax newspapers in Australia as saying. Australian officials were not available for comment.
"It's really a shame if that occurs, and would make it very hard to see how the IWC proceeds from here on," Moronuki said.
"We're saying that we want to normalize, but if that article is true our opponents have chosen confrontation over conversation, and the meaning of the IWC is lost," he added.
The IWC presides over the fate of the Earth's largest creatures, which were almost driven to extinction before the whaling ban in 1986.
But the group is bitterly divided between countries that think whales still need to be protected, such as Australia, Britain and New Zealand, and countries that think some species are sufficiently abundant to be hunted again.
Japan, which leads the pro-whaling bloc and has gathered powerful support from African, Pacific and Caribbean nations, has killed thousands of whales since 1986 under a scientific whaling programme. Iceland and Norway ignore the moratorium and conduct commercial whaling.
Activists took a dim view of the renewed push for whaling.
"I think that there are things about the IWC that need to be changed, that need to be brought into the 21st century, but commercialisation is not one of them," said Bunny McDiarmid, executive director of Greenpeace New Zealand.
Some Japanese politicians have said leaving the IWC cannot be ruled out at some point in the future if nothing changes.
CULTURAL TRADITION
Japan says eating whale meat is a cherished cultural tradition, and along with other whaling nations says there are enough stocks of some whale species to allow limited hunting.
Japan gave up commercial whaling in line with the international ban, but began hunting the animals in 1987 in what it calls scientific research. The meat ends up in gourmet restaurants and on supermarket shelves.
Tokyo maintains that it will not hunt endangered species but that others, such as the minke, are abundant enough for limited hunting. In its annual Antarctic hunt, which lasts until April, it has a target of roughly 860 whales, almost all minkes.
On Friday, the Greenpeace ship Esperanza will sail from Auckland on New Zealand's north island for the Southern Ocean Whale Sanctuary to try and come between the ships and their prey.
The mission, which will last seven weeks, mirrors a 2006 campaign, which Greenpeace says saved 86 whales.
I just want some respect. Stop looking at my ta-tas