Welcome to my website, a tribute to competitive eating's Eater X, Tim Janus. Here you'll find a combination of frivolous news, rumor and speculation, and creative writings about Eater X, whaling, and all things maritime. The website is simple and bareboned, a reflection of my humble whaling background, and the template is brown, like the parchment upon which any true whaler writes. To contact me, place a message inside of a bottle and drop it into the ocean, or call the IFOCE.

I like ships, big ones in particular, I'm quick with a length of rope, I have strong sea legs, and I stink of rum and sweat.

August 09, 2006:
The Seven Days of Creation

June 29, 2006:
Eater X on Hot Dog City: A Wonderful Place to Live

June 21, 2006:
And in the Thirteenth Hour the Rising Sun Shall Set?

June 05, 2006:
Another Allegory?

June 01, 2006:
White Castle Is People!

May 24, 2006:
Scattershot Questions and Answers with Eater X

May 18, 2006:
An Allegory

May 12, 2006:
You're Invited...

May 09, 2006:
The Revenge of Eater X

April 28, 2006:
"A Moment of SILENCE! Please."

August 2006

June 2006

May 2006

April 2006

March 2006

February 2006

January 2006

December 2005

November 2005

White Castle Is People!

From June 01, 2006

Okay it's not. But it sure tastes like people sometimes, especially when featured in this award-winning recipe, which Eater X drew up as a joke on a lunchbreak at his trading desk last year. Below is what Eater X claims is a "sincere" attempt at dessert. He's sworn to me they're half-way decent. Eater X's Yum! Yum! Cigarette Brownies

Ingredients:

1/2 cup butter
1 ounce of tobacco*
3 squares semi-sweet chocolate
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 large eggs
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon Frangelico liqueur

* A vanilla or cherry cavendish is best, but in a pinch a couple of Camels will suffice. Use menthols if you like your brownies minty.

Directions:
1) Using a double boiler, melt the butter over low heat.
2) When the butter has melted, add the tobacco. If you've had a rough day or just love a stiff buzz, use a little extra.
3) Simmer for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.
4) Remove from heat, and let stand for five minutes.
5) Strain the tobacco leaves from the butter by pouring the mixture through a cheesecloth or sieve.
6) When the cheesecloth and its contents have cooled and can be handled, wring the remaining butter from the cheesecloth.
7) Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
8) Combine the butter and chocolate in a saucepan, and mix until melted. Set aside.
9) In a mixing bowl, combine the sugar and eggs. Beat well.
10) Add the chocolate mixture to the eggs. Mix well.
11) In a separate bowl, combine the flour, baking powder and salt. Slowly add them to the chocolate mixture.
12) Add the vanilla extract and Frangelico, and stir.
13) Spread evenly into a well-greased 12 x 7 x 2-inch baking pan.
14) Bake at 350-degrees for 30 to 35 minutes.

Serve with beer.

<< | Posted on June 01, 2006 at 5:29 AM | >>

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