"Do not contact the contest venue for any reason."

The phone rings at an ungodly hour of the night. Ned Devine's Pub picks up.

Ned Devine's Pub: (groggy and whispering) Hello.

Eater X: Hey. It's me. Are you asleep?

Ned Devine's Pub: What time is it?!?

Eater X: I don't know. Three. Maybe four-something.

Ned Devine's Pub: Why are you calling so late?

Eater X: I miss you. I can't get you out of my mind. Ever since I called you on Monday, you're all I can think about.

Ned Devine's Pub: And on Tuesday, too. You called me on Tuesday.

Eater X: And on Tuesday. You're right. I called you on Tuesday.

Ned Devine's Pub: Five times. You called me five times on Tuesday.

Eater X: I know. I did. I called you five times on Tuesday.

Ned Devine's Pub: During the dinner rush. You called me five times during the dinner rush on Tuesday.

Eater X: I know. I couldn't wait. I missed you so much.

Ned Devine's Pub: I missed you, too.

Eater X: (sensing something unusual in Ned Devine's Pub's voice) What's wrong?

Ned Devine's Pub: It's just that...nevermind.

Eater X: What?

Ned Devine's Pub: It's nothing. Forget about it.

Eater X: No, no. What's wrong? What's bothering you?

Ned Devine's Pub: It's just that we shouldn't even be talking to each other. You got Kate's email. You're not allowed to call me. Ours is a forbidden love, a love of which we cannot speak, a love that...

Eater X: I love it when you talk that way.

Ned Devine's Pub: What way?

Eater X: That way. Like you're acting in a period piece or something. Like you learned to speak in the 17th Century. (Imitating Ned Devine's Pub) Ours is a forbidden love, a love of which cannot speak.

Ned Devine's Pub: Come on. Be serious for a second.

Eater X: I am being serious. I love the way you talk. I love the things you say. I love you, Ned Devine's Pub.

Ned Devine's Pub: I love you, too.

(long silence)

Ned Devine's Pub: Alright. I have to get some sleep now. It's late.

Eater X: Okay. I'll see you Thursday. I'll call you when I get on the road. Good night.

Ned Devine's Pub: Good night.