Digest

Mall Food: Sarku

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:31:59 -0800

I told Jessica there was a place in the mall called Sarku Japan and she asked, "Sarku? Are you sure that's what it's called?" Apparently Sarku is not only not a Japanese word, it's not a Japanese construction. That is to say, it couldn't even be a Japanese word. Similarly, it would be a stretch to say it serves Japanese food. A meal at Sarku is grilled chicken, shrimp, or beef, with some vegetables (mostly cabbage), served over steamed or fried rice. Pre-packaged sushi rolls are also an option. But we ate all of this, Japanese or not. The best part for me was probably the cabbage, though not due to any dramatic taste. It was just good to get some vegetables in me. Eating mall food, day after day, it would be quite easy to develop a vitamin deficiency. The shrimp literally tasted like nothing. The fried rice was bland and unadorned. Beef left no impression. The chicken, I think, was slightly overcooked -- it been sitting on the grill for a while. The slight char that it developed actually gave it a bit of flavor! It was the best of the meats, without question. Let Sarku take this as a tip -- burn your meats, it's the only way you'll get any taste into them. Josh: ** Mike: **

The Hottest Food In Portland

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 15:18:17 -0800

We have a new intern at the office. His name is Davey. He doesn't care for spicy foods.

Davey Attempts El Jefe from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

Mall Food: Hot Dog on a Stick

Tue, 16 Sep 2008 18:06:07 -0800

Look: Hot Dog on a Stick was really good. NO JOKING! Steve had a veggie dog on a stick, fries. Mike had a hot dog on a stick, cheese on a stick, fries. I had a veggie dog on a stick, onion rings. Lemonades all around. All of it was good! If you don't know, they dip your dog (or your cheese) in batter and immediately drop it in the fryer when you order it. It's a "real" corn dog, not a pre-packaged frozen one. You may have never had one of these before, unless you've been to a State Fair. We're not talking about much of a healthy square meal here, I acknowledge that. But as a snack, this is a knockout. **** from me, and from Mike as well.
Hot Dog On A Stick from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

A Drinkumentary

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 09:30:42 -0800

CoffeeFest: A Drinkumentary from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

2008 NachOlympics

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 09:57:10 -0800

The NachOlympics are a combination of nachos and Olympics. Held on the final day of the 2008 Beijing Olympics the NachOlympics use food to focus our attention away from the boosterism of Team USA and embrace the many other countries competing for gold. Each participant creates a plate of nachos based on the foods of their chosen countries. The results are then judged on a 0 - 10 rating system, with up to two decimal points (highest and lowest scores are eliminated, modeled after the Olympic Trampoline event).

Dave (center) chose the hopeful 2012 country of The Republic of Texas and took the gold medal with his frito pie. Katie's (left) Cuban Nachos, with a base of fried polenta topped with rice, avocado, beans, lime, and other toppings. Bronze went to dalas (right) and his conceptual Ethiopian Nachos which was a purchased plate of delicious Ethiopian food poured over some tortilla chips. The scores between bronze and silver were just 0.004 points. Curt and Molly's Australia came in 4th and was a crowd favorite with the English-inspired toppings of baked beans, tomato sauce, and fried egg. Lauren's Jamaican Nachos would have won Best In Show had presentation been a part of the judging. Her jerked veggie chicken, black beans, avocado, and cheese formed the image of the Jamaican flag! Judah and Sarah chose Spain and created a thick handmade Spanish tortilla topped with aioli (and served with delicious sangria). The bottom of the rankings included Mike's awkward attempt at Japanese Nachos, consisting of wasabi flavored rice chips, with canned Alaskan pink salmon and shredded nori, covered in a sauce made of vegannaise and sriracha and sprinkled with toasted sesame seeds. It tasted better than it looked, but still was only 7th place. Another strong conceptual contender was Willow's Irish Nachos which used a potato chip base topped in baked beans and a fancy Irish cheddar cheese. In last place was the typical American style nachos of tortilla chips and cheese sauce. It was deservedly last place.

2008 NachOlympics from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

Mall Food: Steak Escape

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 10:18:05 -0800

Mike was very hesitant to lunch at Steak Escape. I don't know why. It seemed irrational. I have always found Steak Escape to be a solid if not spectacular option. He had an impression of it as a Arby's-level bottom-dweller. Here's the deal: They grill up your food right in front of you. So how could it possibly be bad? You see exactly what they did to make it. You have complete confidence. Incidentally, that grill also plays right into their biggest negative: Decor. They have to have a massive hood over that grill to suck up all the cooking fumes, and it really dominates their space. They painted it forest green, but that fails to make it disappear. I think you generally want a sense of lightness and openness in your mall food court location, but they leave a very heavy and dark impression through their design. As I was planning to order their #1 sandwich, the standard Steak Escape sandwich, I encouraged Mike to branch out, maybe try a potato. The deal is, you can get a potato that has the identical toppings as the sandwiches, but it's a mashed up potato! They also add some cheese and sour cream and other toppings, and it's cheaper than the sandwich version of the same thing. It's the best deal!

The result is a perfectly acceptable lunch, in the case of the sandwich, and in the case of the potato. I will be visiting again some time soon. Mike: *** Josh: ***

Mall Food: Steamers

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:30:52 -0800

Steamers should be the best food in the mall, right? It should be healthy, not greasy, and differently delicious. Not your run-of-the-mill burger or taco or whatever crap. But I always come away so underwhelmed. I appreciate that they're different from everything else in the mall, that they have friendly staff and cool design, but my noodles were too boring. Mike's dumpings needed a little something, too. Maybe a little pan-frying would help. Crisp those guys up a little! Show them you're serious! Ratings: Josh: Pad Thai noodles: ** Dumplings: ** Mike: Pad Thai noodles: ** Dumplings: **** Fanta: *****

Mall Food: Orange Julius

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:56:56 -0800

Due to my work's recent relocation to the Lloyd Center Mall, Mike and I have embarked upon the dubious adventure of eating at every single place in the mall food court. To set a baseline which one would hope nothing falls below, we began this journey at Orange Julius. Lunch, you ask? They serve lunch? In a manner of speaking. Their lunch menu consists of hot dogs with fixins (your chili dog, your nacho dog, your Chicago dog), and nachos. Chicago dogs and nachos do not make for a healthy or delicious lunch, but it's what we ate nevertheless, washed down with their signature smoothies. You won't be surprised that no part of this lunch was actively tasty. The Chicago dog was well-appointed in terms of toppings, but suffered due to a limp, soft bun, which made eating the dog challenging and messy. Notably, the dog had pickle, relish, and cucumber, certainly the mall meal highest in overall cucumber content. Nachos were convenience-store nachos, piled with jalapenos and slopped with chili. Processed cheese food softened the chips as it soaked through, then congealed to form a semi-firm substance that was neither chip nor cheese. Orange Julius has no chance of becoming a regular lunch stop for me. It's really pretty bad. That being said, as I look around the food court, I'm not yet entirely certain it will successfully set the bar for worst mall food. Stay tuned... (All star ratings out of 5 possible.) M: Chicago Dog: *** Nachos: ** Orange Julius: *** Overall experience: ** J: Chicago Dog: ** Nachos: ** Raspberry Julius: *** Overall experience: **

7vs7: Follow The Money

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 10:13:18 -0800

7vs7: Follow The Money from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

7vs7: I Totally Won That Thing

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:49:42 -0800

7 days 168 hours. Fruit Only. They said it couldn't be done. I just ate very awesome food at MONTAGE (incredibly cliche late night eating spot in Portland that is actually secretly very good). I believe I can fly. Black Eye Pea Fritters A beers Spold Mac Bread(!) with oil and vinegar! Such a good challenge!

7vs7: Last But Not Least

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:51:35 -0800

7vs7: Last But Not Least... from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

7vs7: The Real Story (Pt. II)

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:47:33 -0800

7vs7: The Real Story (Pt. II) from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

7vs7: Confiding in Friends

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:44:17 -0800

7vs7 - Confiding in Friends from uncleboatshoes on Vimeo.

7vs7: The Real Story

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 09:21:11 -0800

7vs7: The Real Story from Mike Merrill on Vimeo.

7vs7: WIMP

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:44:47 -0800

7vs7: I'M OUT YA'LL from lauren on Vimeo.