Review: November 2005 Archives
The specific flavors of candy in other regions of the world varies from the usual "American" sweets we are accustomed to. This study involved a peer review of a random sampling of 17 different candies brought back from the country of Turkey. Each of the five tasters commented on the candy before giving it a rating on a scale of 0 to 10 (up to two decimal places). One tester was vegan, and did not score any candies with animal products (those candies with no animal products have been labeled vegan). Certain products were also tested by an additional taster after she finished her sandwich. The final score was the average score of the tasters who sampled that particular candy rounded to two decimal places. The total average score of the sample was 5.40, with the lowest score being 2.07 and the highest score being 8.40. Based on this testing it can be determined that Turkish candy rarely rises above average, but when it does, it does so with gusto.
Item #001 : Luflee - Avg. Rating 5.55
Rev. Schroeder: Weird. Light. Airy on the inside. (5.75)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like a ruined birthday, but still delicious. (7.12)
Dr. Hason: Tastes different than a canuck Aero. (5.41)
Prof. Merrill: Sorta slimy. (3.90)
Item #002 : Gofree - Avg. Rating 4.52
Rev. Schroeder: Tastes incredibly cheap. (6.88)
Dr. Wainstock: Nutter butter faster bar. Dislike. (5.01)
Dr. Hason: Very perfumy, not as strawberry as expected. I don't trust it. (4.17)
Prof. Merrill: Like strawberry wafer pocky. A perfumy aftertaste. (2.00)
Item #003 : ETI Joker - Avg. Rating 4.53
Rev. Schroeder: Weird nougat vibe. (5.27)
Dr. Wainstock: Smells like booze and rotten almonds. (5.14)
Dr. Hason: A very strange and odd nougat. (4.82)
Prof. Merrill: Ugh, defective milky way... (2.88)
Item #004 : Tofita - Avg. Rating 3.90
Dr. Bechtolt: SO GOOD! MY GOD! Sour cherry, then fermented cherry.. (4.00)
Rev. Schroeder: Everything is right and then everything goes wrong. (4.12)
Dr. Wainstock: Cherry paper. (3.14)
Dr. Hason: Initially good, and then loses its identity. (3.70)
Prof. Merrill: Like going from cherry to pulp and swallowing the pit. (4.55)
Item #005 : Kremini - Avg. Rating 8.21
Rev. Schroeder: Bad cherry pie. Maybe some dead apples and leaves in it. (7.89)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like an inviting tree. (8.23)
Dr. Hason: Very autumny and tasty. (8.00)
Prof. Merrill: Christmas delight. (8.70)
Item #006 : Olips - Avg. Rating 5.05
Dr. Bechtolt: Sweeter than most lozenges. Good for a dog with bad breath. (6.25)
Rev. Schroeder: Colored like boogers. Very menthol-y. Good on "E." (7.37)
Dr. Wainstock: The viscuis insides insult my taste. I hate it. (0.34)
Dr. Hason: Forest power will make you feel better. (6.25)
Prof. Merrill: Flavor's fine. The promise of juicy insides is terribly dissapointing. (6.57)
Item #007 : Tadelle - Avg. Rating 6.86
Rev. Schroeder: Doesn't sit right with Dr. Feelgood. Feels gross. (2.69)
Dr. Wainstock: Portable chocolate mousse with nuts. I love it. (9.11)
Dr. Hason: Marbled Belgiun seahorse. Yum. (7.95)
Prof. Merrill: Fancy. Glad I only had to eat 1/4. (7.69)
Item #008 : Relax Kids - Avg. Rating 2.87
Dr. Bechtolt: I can taste colors; Dr. Feelgood put something in my water. (6.90)
Rev. Schroeder: Za za za zowee, mmmm blech! (1.91)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like a whore's perfume. (1.11)
Dr. Hason: Flavor's gone in 11 seconds. Rosewater vibe. (3.00)
Prof. Merrill: It feels much better OUT of my mouth. (1.41)
Dr. South: It tastes like Hello Kitty™ gum. (Yummy)
Item #009 : Babol - Avg. Rating 4.77
Dr. Bechtolt: Perfume-y. Bleck, yuck. Yeck. (2.69)
Rev. Schroeder: Super strawb. Bubble gun-y texture. Liquid is enjoyable. Erotic. (8.17)
Dr. Wainstock: Good texture. Tastes like scratch-n-sniff. (3.13)
Dr. Hason: Summertime pool. (5.75)
Prof. Merrill: Too feminine. Like popping zits in my mouth. (4.13)
Dr. South: Tastes like Barbies™. (Cool)
Item #010 : ETI Wanted - Avg. Rating 4.69
Rev. Schroeder: Very rice-y. Really alienating... but something I like about it. (6.79)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like a rice cake that stepped in shit. (1.87)
Dr. Hason: Passover macaroon. (2.34)
Prof. Merrill: David Copperfield walking through the Great Wall of Rice. (7.77)
Item #011 : Pop Tip - Avg. Rating 7.79
Dr. Bechtolt: Slightly better than a Tic-Tac™. Mildly herbal. (7.89)
Rev. Schroeder: Caterpillar turing into a butterfly in my mouth. (7.83)
Dr. Wainstock: Peppermint sunrise. (8.08)
Dr. Hason: Nane-licious. (7.17)
Prof. Merrill: It's a mint. (5.00)
Dr. South: It is a round Tic-Tac™. (mmmmmm.)
Item #012 : First - Avg. Rating 5.09
Dr. Bechtolt: Quite possibly the best chewing gum ever invented by Man or Whale. (9.69)
Rev. Schroeder: Berry cocktail? More like berry cock-tease. (4.20)
Dr. Wainstock: Don't like the crystals. (4.10)
Dr. Hason: An army of flavor is marching. I am weary. (3.23)
Prof. Merrill: Too sweet. (4.25)
Dr. South: Pooey. (N/A)
Item #013 : Missbon - Avg. Rating 8.40
Rev. Schroeder: Very coffee-y. Eating a coffee candle. High on the bean. (7.41)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like the water-cooler at work. (8.12)
Dr. Hason: Mmmm. Coffee. (8.32)
Prof. Merrill: Perfection. (10.0)
Item #014 : Ulke Viva - Avg. Rating 5.46
Dr. Bechtolt: I can't feel my legs. (6.90)
Rev. Schroeder: Nane-lusious. (4.90)
Dr. Wainstock: Surprisingly mild. Tastes like Fantasm-balls. (1.94)
Dr. Hason: More pretty to look at than to eat. (4.00)
Prof. Merrill: Like a candy cane. (5.01)
Dr. South: Two thumbs way up!!! (10.0)
Item #015 : Cokonat - Avg. Rating 3.97
Rev. Schroeder: Coko-rut. (6.23)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes depressing. (3.33)
Dr. Hason: Not really chocolate; too light. (2.40)
Prof. Merrill: Didn't we try this already? It makes my mustache hurt. (3.93)
Item #016 : Delete - Avg. Rating 7.00
Dr. Bechtolt: I can't feel my arms. (9.00)
Rev. Schroeder: Delete Altoids™. Insert Delete™. (8.48)
Dr. Wainstock: rm - rf tastebuds (3.03)
Dr. Hason: Such an adventure. (8.00)
Prof. Merrill: Power-mint with secret gum filling. (8.48)
Dr. South: SCH#%$!@&MMMM!!!! (5?)
Item #017 : Cin - Avg. Rating 3.07
Rev. Schroeder: Jelly-za. How can I sound like Jar Jar Binks? (6.84)
Dr. Wainstock: Tastes like pastel AIDS. (0.01)
Dr. Hason: Found in the aisle of Toys-R-Us™. (2.11)
Prof. Merrill: Tastes like it is for kids. (3.31)
Research conducted by: (L -> R) Dr. Shayla Hason, Prof. Mike "Dr. Poop" Merrill, Dr. Scott Wainstock, Dr. Jona "Dr. Boogers" Bechtolt, Dr. Kystal South, Rev. Steve "Dr. Feelgood" Schroeder
For additional photographs see the Flickr group
