If you’re vegan, chances are you know this great neighborhood place that makes exactly what you like in a sandwich. And when you’re visiting friends in other cities you base your entire visit around this one insane food stand where you can get veggie chicken drum sticks made to order and, and, and…

We are sympathetic to the great vegan plight, of course: Very few places understand and cater to your dietary aesthetic, right? But as rad as we think it is that you can get vegan BBQ in most dorky Midwest cities nowadays, there’s a problem here, people. Every time one of these cookie cutter vegan fast food chains opens up, a good cook loses his/her wings. We like fake chicken burgers with avocado as much as the next vegetarian, but come on?

So without getting too preachy (too late) we at Hot Knives would like to unveil a new section at our own little, centrally located blog. It’s called “No Drive-thru” and we like to think of it as an overly indulgent, deconstructionist, po-mo take on vegan fast food — more of a creative idea sketch pad than cookbook fodder — and rather than stuffing it in a bag, we’re putting it on China plates. So without further ado, our first No Drive-thru recipe: Our take on the great pillar of fast food, In and Out Burger's animal style fries...

"Animal Style"

Grilled Onions
2 white onions, peeled and chopped
1 Tbs, canola oil
1 Tbs. Braggs Amino

“Thousand Island”
1 cup veganaise
1/2 cup organic ketchup
1 Tbs. yellow mustard
1 Tbs. Sriracha
2 Tbs. sweet pickle juice
1 Tbs. grilled onion pan juice

Fried Pickles
1 cup bread and butter pickle chips
1 cup dill chips
3 cups canola oil
1 cup tempura batter
1/2 cup beer

1. Heat a sauté pan to medium and add chopped onions with the canola oil. Let ‘em sweat for about 1 minutes, then add the Bragg’s and turn heat up to high, scorching them for another 2-3 minutes of until brown. Set aside.

2. Mix ingredients and whip thoroughly. Set aside.

3. Pat your pickles dry with a paper towel and prepare your tempura batter (some dry tempura batter has trace amounts of egg, check first, but we’ll be coming up with a homemade replacement soon).

4. Place a wok on high heat and add canola oil. Once oil is scorching hot, dunk your pickles in the batter, thoroughly coat and then fry in oil for 2-3 minutes or until golden. Fish out with a slotted spoon and dry on paper towels.