Team Pizza grew from seven to more than a dozen for the northwest tasting which included Hotlips, Old Town Pizza, Pizza Oasis, and Pizza Hut. After the disaster of flavor from the north Portland tasting, there was a general feeling of wary optimism. The pizza from north has been a lot of new places that nearly universally disappointed us, but there was more familiarity with the northwest locations and it felt like the scores should be higher.

We ordered a large cheese pie simultaneously from all four places at 7:36 p.m. The pizza was tasted in the order that it arrived.

Hot Lips

Hot Lips is 22 years old, has five locations, and maintains a well-deserved reputation for sustainable practices. They also bottle their own hot sauce, jalapenos, and soda.

Hot Lips promised 35 minutes and made it in 27:43. After the previous tasting we expected Pizza Hut to arrive first, so it was a pleasant surprise to have the local and eco-friendly Hot Lips be the winner.

Everyone rated the taste on a scale of 1 to 10 and with nearly universal acclaim Hot Lips scored a 6.5/10:

Freddy: "Subtle. Perfect."
Sarah: "A lot of cornmeal on the crust... maybe too much?"
J.John: "Delicious sauce, but not as hot as I want it."

Old Town Pizza

Old Town Pizza is a 32 years old Portland institution. At one time there was an Old Town Pizza in Salem, Seattle, and San Francisco, but only the haunted original survives.

They had promised 45 minutes but made it in just 30:01. Not only that, but they arrived on their signature pizza delivery tricycle! While Old Town was the only pizza that received a perfect ten from one of our tasters, they averaged a 6.16/10.

Daniel: "Tastes like fish."
Ashby: "GARLIC!!! Mega Cheese!"
Steve: "It literally tastes like fish."

Pizza Hut

Pizza Hut is 48 years old and was once owned by PepsiCo, before being spun off with KFC and Taco Bell as part of Tricon, which eventually became YUM! Brands which has more than 34,000 restaurants in more than 100 countries.

There was a mistake made in the Pizza Hut order, which puts it at a severe disadvantage. The person who ordered got their "thin crust" instead of the usual pan style. We have decided to include the results because they tried to order the "regular crust" but they were forced to choose randomly of the branded names of crust.

This was the worst pizza any of us had ever had and the score reflects that. Pizza Hut received only 1.83/10.

Curt: "Like pilot bread with cheese - no spices... bland."
Josh: "Weird. Thin saltine crust... I would never order this."
Daniel: "Bullshit."

Pizza Oasis

Pizza Oasis is over 15 years old and maintains a single location on Burnside.

Personally I had high hopes for Oasis as they are my neighborhood favorite and only five blocks away. They estimated it would take them 45 minutes to an hour to make it those five blocks, and they clocked in at 57:02. That's like taking 12 minutes to walk a single block.

The pizza itself however only did okay, scoring a 5.91/10.

Ashby: "Mature tasting cheese."
Anonymous: "More cheese than you might want."
Meghan: "Sauce was tantalizing but slim. MORE SAUCE GUYS! I WANT MORE! DON'T BE SHY!"

Additional Data

While we primarily judge a delivered cheese pizza on taste and time, there are other valuable numbers to consider. By measuring several slices we determined the average weight of a slice from each pizzeria, and then based on the price determined the cost per ounce.

Conclusion

When in Northwest Portland, there is no reason to ever order Pizza Hut, so it's pretty easy to just dismiss them from this discussion. And it's pretty clear that if you are in their delivery radius you should be ordering Hot Lips. If you have guests in town or want to embrace the "Keep Portland Weird" vibe, then Oldtown with their Pizza-Tricycle is your best bet and while there isn't anything really wrong with Oasis, it just seems that the neighborhood has better things to offer.

Team NorthWest

Thanks to everyone participated in the Northwest Tasting! As there were several unsigned forms, please let me know if you were there and you are not listed below:

Daniel: "Live for pizza rather than die for pizza."
Michael: "No good pizza was ever made in a chair."
Meghan: "Only our individual faith in pizza can keep us free."
Ashby: "Unfortunately, many people do not consider pizza an important item on their daily agenda."
J.John: "Political power grows out of the crust of a pizza."
Adam: "Those who pick the toppings decide everything."
Sarah: "I came, I saw, I conquered."
Steve: "When you have a pizza, all problems start to look like meals."
Mikey: "I would rather have a pizza in front of me than a sandwich behind me."
Curt: "Amateurs talk toppings, professionals talk crust."
Freddy: "The fact that pizza might be used by criminals does not mean it is wrong to have it."
Josh: "Pizza and beer don't waste time — people do."