Here Come the Warm Knives

We were pleased to jump through the latest hoop toward World Wide Web domination last week when the Urban Honking intelligentsia suggested we accept a cooking challenge: Prepare a fancy pants, vegetarian feast for three L.A.-based Ur-Ho bloggaz. The catch? The meal was to cost $40 and no more.

You know that saying about not being able to take the heat, something, something… We said “Fuck yeah, we’re in!”

So last Sunday we had the distinct pleasure of hanging out with AC, Starr and Ritchey and cooking them what we considered to be a top-notch, mostly vegan meal. The only wrench in the proverbial gears was that Starr brought a friend, so our budget got a bit of an ass kicking (Full disclosure: We spent $42.50 on a four-person meal. And we think it’s only fair.) But, as it turned out, that friend was also a food freak and former cook in his own right so it was even radder. We also whipped up a last minute desert from scratch that wasn’t included—a pear and pomegranate reduction Pop-Tart.

Now, you can read the kind, kind praise over at “Regarding” from Ritchey or you can see it all unfold in the video footage. But we think the most useful part of the evening is that all four courses got a thumbs-up, so we’ve reproduced the recipes here for your home improvisation. Have at it!

Cornmeal Fried Yucca & Ginger Beans

Fried Yucca
1 large yucca root
1 cup cornmeal
1/2 cup un-sweetened soy milk
salt and pepper to taste
2 cups canola oil

Cilantro Mayo
1/2 cup cilantro leaves
1 cup veganaise
2 Tbs. yellow or grain mustard
1 tsp. Dijon mustard
4 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 Tbs. tumeric
salt and pepper to taste

Ginger Black Beans
1 can black beans
1 bulb ginger, peeled and chopped
1 Tbs. all spice powder
2 Tbs. canola oil

1. Take a peeler to your yucca, making sure to remove all of the brown skin. Then slice the root in half for easy boiling. Bring a large pot of salted water to boil and toss in the yucca. Let it boil for 10-12 minutes, removing as soon as it’s soft enough that a fork can easily puncture it. Drain, rinse with cold water and set aside to cool.

2. To make the cilantro mayo, combine all ingredients in a food processor or beat thoroughly by hand and serve in a bowl.

3. To make the accompanying ginger beans, heat 2 Tbs. of oil in a pot, add ginger and all spice. Open a can of black beans and add them to the pot, bean liquid included. Let simmer for 30 minutes.

4. Once cool, slice the yucca halves into quarters and then into 3 or 4-inch long pieces, the size of a steak fry.

5. In a large bowl mix all other ingredients. The mixture should be gloopy like pancake batter, add more soymilk or an egg (optional) for desired texture.

6. Heat a large skillet or wok filled with canola oil. Batter your yucca pieces and drop them in once oil is sizzling hot. Watch carefully and flip sides, removing the pieces when brown or after approximately 1-2 minutes. Briefly pat dry with paper towels.

7. Serve yucca sticks upright in a bowl atop beans.

Shaved Fennel Ice Salad

1 bunch arugala
1 head frisee wild lettuce
1 small basket yellow cherry tomatoes
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
6 large shallots, peeled and minced
6 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1 large fennel bulb
3 Tbs. moscato wine vinegar or a nicer sherry vinegar
1 Tbs. grain mustard

1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Trim the arugala and frisee of any unsightly sprigs, place them in a bowl and cover with water and ice cubes both to wash and chill. Let sit while you prepare the rest.

3. In a shallow pan, place the tomatoes and top with half the olive oil, garlic and half the shallots. Season to taste. Let roast for about 10 minutes or until they lose all structure. Remove and set aside.

4. Slice the fennel bulb thin and on an angle either using a knife or a mandolin (if you have one you’re a hard-ass) and then sautee the fennel in a pan with some olive oil. While this is cooking, about 4-5 minutes, plate your cool leafy greens in a pile on each plate.

5. Toss your lukewarm tomato confit, oil and all, with a sweet vinegar of your choice. We used moscato wine vinegar but an aged sherry would work well. This will be your dressing so season to taste and add a dash of mustard.

6. Top the salad with a heaping pile of steaming fennel and lightly cover with tomatoes and dressing.

Chimay Onion Soup

2 Tbs. olive oil
3 Tbs. butter, or margarine
6 white onions, sliced
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 clove garlic, whole
4 shallots, minced
1 750 ml bottle of Chimay Grande Reserve
2 cups vegetable broth
2 Tbs. thyme
4 bay leaves
2 Tbs brewers yeast
salt and pepper to taste
1 slice sourdough bread
1 small chunk aged white cheddar

1. Combine the olive oil and butter in a large saucepan on medium heat. Once bubbling, add the onions and cook until they begin to be transparent. Add the garlic and shallots and continue stirring frequently, until the onions begin to turn brown.

2. Add enough beer to cover the onions by about 1,” and bring to a boil. Lower the head to medium and cook until the beer has reduced by half.
(approx. another 10 minutes).

3. Add the broth, herbs and spices. Cover with a lid and let simmer
for about 30 minutes.

4. Preheat your oven to broil.

5. Toast the sourdough in your toaster until it is nice and brown. Take the whole peeled clove of garlic and rub vigorously against the toast. Rub both sides until the garlic is virtually gone. Cut the bread into squares that will fit into whatever vessel you will serve your soup in. Grate your cheddar.

6. Ladle bowls of piping hot soup, throw a piece of garlic toast on each, then generously sprinkle your cheese on top of that. Place your bowls (carefully now) in the oven to broil the cheesy crouton tops until they are bubbling and brown. Serve with a dollop of grain mustard if desired.

Seitan Diane w/ purple potatoes and brussell sprouts

Seitan Diane (baking time is 2 hours)
1.5 cup gluten flour
3/4 cup whole wheat pastry flour
1/3 cup brewers yeas
1 tsp ground coriander
1 tsp grond sage
1 tsp grond ginger
1 tsp smoked salt
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tsp pepper flakes
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp garlic powder
2 cups water
¼ cup canola oil
¼ cup soy sauce
You will need wax paper or parchment paper for this dude.

1. Start by preheating your oven to 350. Now dig through your pots and pans and find a larger casserole dish and a bread loaf pan. Cover the inside of the bread pan with wax paper or parchment and drizzle 1 Tbs of olive oil to lubricate the paper. Fill the casserole dish ½ full with water, and place the bread pan in the center to create a double boiler.

2. Combine all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Combine all the liquid ingredients together in another large bowl and whisk to blend. Now add the wet to the dry and mix until you have a thick sticky batter, which should happen almost immediately. Dump the batter into the bread pan bains marie (the fancy way to say double boiler), cover the top of the bread pan with aluminum foil and cram in your oven.

3. Bake for two hours. When your timer goes off, yes you should’ve set one, carefully remove the aluminum foil, and pull the loaf out by gently tlfting the wax paper. Carefully peel off the wax paper.

For Steak Seasoning:
1 Tsp. sugar
2 Tsp. salt
2 Tsp. ground black pepper
1 Tsp. fennel seeds
1 Tsp. dry thyme
1 Tsp. celery seeds
3 Tbs. Honey

1. Grind all the spices, sugar and salt together with a mortar and pestle, or on a cutting board with a rolling pin. Slice the now cool Seitan widthwise into 1.5” thick slices. Rub both faces of each slice with honey and press into the spice mixture to coat.

For Sauce:
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
1⁄4 cup balsamic vinegar
3 Tbs. maple syrup
4 large shallots diced
2 Tbs. mustard
1⁄4 cup vegetable stock
2 Tbs. cornstarch
4 Tbs. fresh tarragon
1 Tbs. salt
1 Tbs. ground pepper

1. Heat a medium saucepan on high heat, then add the olive oil and let it heat for two minutes before adding the seitan. Press each slice face down until it is nice and caramelized, about one minute per side. When both sides have been seared, place the Seitan on an oven safe plate and place in your still worm oven.

2. Immediately add the balsamic vinegar, and the maple syrup to your sauté pan. As it reduces, scrape the bottom of the pan to loosen any spices left over from the seitan. Wait about 2 minutes and add the shallots and the mustard. Make a slurry by mixing the cornstarch and a little bit to of the vegetable stock. Add the rest of the stock when the balsamic has reduced by half. Now mix in the tarragon, salt and pepper and the slurry. Reduce the heat to low and simmer for five minutes.

Purple pots and brussell sprouts
1 Tbs. sea salt
4 red potatoes
4 purple potatoes
4 brussell sprouts

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Add potatoes and brussell sprouts whole. Let blanch for 5-7 minutes and remove before noticeably tender. Rinse under cool water and remove.

2. Slice all items in half. Heat a large skillet on high and add vegan butter or olive oil. Toss in potatoes and brussell sprouts and sauté until tender. Remove and plate.

Beverage:

Peach Lambic

Soundtrack:

Trojan Records Punky Reggae Party