Everyone has at least one friend that can cook, I mean, really cook: you know, the kind of person who has decoded the mystery of fried tofu, who can slice vegetables with speed and exactitude, and who casually throws around terms like "demi-glaze" and "balsamic reduction." But what good is your good-cook friend if your good-cook can't chuck wood -- err, teach you a little something? For those of you whose culinary colleagues can't explain their methods worth a damn, meet Evan George and Alex Brown, two high-living ex-line cooks who are hellbent on bringing their own blend of beer connoisseurship, luxurious vegetarianism, and jalapeno empowerment to the masses.

They call themselves "Hot Knives," they just happen to be my friends, and they have come to grace Digest with a three-punch of a brunch recipe -- an insane Whiskey-pan jam, BLT breakfast salad, and "inverted" forest mushroom hash.

DIGEST: Hot Knives, If you had a modus operandi, what would it be?

HOT KNIVES: Sharp knives save lives. The more honed your blades are the less likely they are to slip when you’re slicing garlic and end up minus one digit. So the more you cook, the more you need your knives sharp-and the safer you tend to be both on and off the cutting board.

HOT KNIFE HISTORY:

DIGEST: You're both ex-line cooks. What's it like to make food for the man?

HOT KNIVES: Well, I think we both kind of crave the pressure and extreme constraints of a commercial kitchen. You're not the boss, you follow orders, but you have a very concrete goal and a chance to bust your ass to fulfill it- and at the same time not only wow the people eating, but everyone you're working with. I don't know much about motorcycle repair, but kitchen work is as close to Zen meditation as physical work can be: look at monks, they fucking cook for each other and do walking meditations while cleaning woks.

Then again, we don't think anybody should have to be a cook to prepare awesome food: Humans all have to eat. And at this point in our lives we just really dig leisurely cooking. Throw on a record, drink half the Belgium bomber you're reducing, smoke a bowl. When we do recipe creation we are our own bosses, and that's liberating in a very literal sense.

DIGEST: When did you two start swilling beers and roasting chile together?

HOT KNIVES: Well, we met at school, and within a year were prep cooks together at the college cafeteria. The good beer drinking came along about when we had pocket money from cooking jobs to go blow on Shakespeare Stout for after a shift. Incidentally, our first conversion from bad beer was probably Rogue.

DIGEST: What is the future of Hot Knives -- a book? Public-access television?

HOT KNIVES: Well, we're pretty obsessed with our blog at the moment. Seeing as though Alex just got a cell phone for the first time, you could call us tech-retards for sure. But it's been great to self-publish recipes, reviews and stoned haikus about hot sauces whenever we fucking feel like it.

Most likely, we'll turn our growing list of recipes into a cookbook on our friend's not-yet-started publishing house. Hopefully it'll be a helpful resource for vegan/vegetarians who don't have a ton of money to throw away on gourmet shit, as far as teaching simple techniques and useful base ingredients to make intense food.

We've thought about starting monthly dinners, through the column, where people can just reserve a seat and pay for market price cost of the food, and we'll throw dinner parties in different spots in LA. It's kind of a fad around here, but as far as we can tell it's an expensive, "in the know" thing where people go to be frou-frou about it. We'd start with just our friends the way we cook now, and let people invite people. That or we'll grow the balls to open a restaurant before neither of us want to be in Los Angeles any longer.

HOT KNIVES ON SPICE:

DIGEST: It's no secret that you like it spicy -- what's so great about burning your palate?

HOT KNIVES: First off, it's a myth that spicy food gives you an ulcer- it only aggravates an existing one that people have probably achieved through shitty eating. The health benefits way outweigh the myths. Burning the shit out of your mouth can actually help circulation and metabolism. Plus there is something addictive about hot chile that makes you keep eating, rather than get dulled by the same taste after a while. When it comes to hot sauce we are obsessed with a good vinegar just as much as the "heat."

DIGEST: What's your opinion on the current runaway success of Chipotle? Is it worth it?

HOT KNIVES: We cook with chipotles often- they are actually just red, roasted jalapenos in a different growing stage. It's mostly the adobo sauce they usually come in that gives it the extra smoke kick. We like pairing it with Guinness. The cream and the smoke is brilliant. It's also a good way to get Irish and Mexicans to get along.

DIGEST: You're banished to solitude, and can take only one standard restaurant hot sauce with you: Tabasco, Tapatio, or Sriracha?

HOT KNIVES: No question: Sriracha, because it's the only one with garlic. Tabasco, no offense southerners, is for losers.

DIGEST: What is your "it" spice of 2006?

HOT KNIVES: Well, this year we've been pretty committed to smoked salt and smoked paprika. Both of which have had some claim to fame recently, both of which make everything taste like an open pit. But as for up-and-coming 2007 spices we’ve been trying to tame a few weird roots. Galangal, lemongrass and cardamom are at the tops of our lists.

HOT KNIFE POLITICS:

DIGEST: Your recipes span every continent. Are you trying to teach us something?

HOT KNIVES: Eat better and keep from fucking it up? Makes sense to us. If Westerners ate half as much meat, we’d be able to grow enough grain meant for humans not livestock, to feed every starving person in the third world. Fuck!

DIGEST: You must be sick of Tofu by now, right?

HOT KNIVES: Not really. We actually eat tofu less often than we used too. We do try to figure out new and different ways to make the ‘ol bean cake, but we can’t just do tofu recipes every week. We’ve been using tempeh more often than tofu, both because it tends to be more versatile, and because we want other people to become more familiar with it. It’s not nearly as processed as tofu is, and its flavor is much easier to manipulate.

DIGEST: Lastly, who do you cook for?

HOT KNIVES: We cook for our friends. Obviously we have to cook for ourselves to a certain degree but having close cohorts who are willing to try whatever concoction we yank out the oven, and be able to tell us they think somebody else makes a better Bahn Mi is really helpful. It also great to feel supported in what we consider to be one of many art forms that we practice. It’s a totally hippy thing to say but making a meal that your friends think is amazing is a deeply rewarding feeling…gets us all misty eyed, or is that the onions?

MAKE YOUR OWN KNIVES MEAL:

DIGEST: Describe the recipes you've given us here -- is there a governing ethos behind this meal?

HOT KNIVES: This group of recipes is a well-rounded weekend brunch, meaning mainly that we would never suggest anyone intake this much food on a workday. That's not to say it's entirely unhealthy, just a little indulgent: which is exactly what we think Sunday was made for. We reserve the right to cook on Sunday the way other people pray.

So, the biscuits and jam are pretty traditional breakfast fare. To mix it up, we inverted the hash: Most hash browns consist of potatoes as their base and maybe onions or herbs or veggies thrown in for color. We made a hash out of mushrooms, onions and garlic and topped them with seared fingerling tators. It's just as hearty, and a little less predictable. The breakfast salad was a last minute addition- we knew we wanted to fry up some maple "bacon" tempeh but couldn't decide what to serve it with, since it's a bitch to try and make them bacon-sized strips. Alex just happened to run by the Hollywood farmers market that morning where they were holding a end-of-season heirloom tomato celebration. So, the decision was simple: braised and fresh heirloom tomatoes, avocadoes, tempeh bacon…a breakfast salad. Our version of a morning BLT.

Heaven is a Place Called Brunch

Whisky pan jam on biscuits
Inverted forest hash
BLT breakfast salad

The soundtrack: Yo La Tengo’s I Am Not Afraid of You and I Will Beat Your Ass
Beverage: Saison Dupont Belgium ale.

Whisky pan jam

2 cups cipollini onions, quartered
3 shallots, minced
1 cup whiskey
1⁄4 cup maple syrup
2 Tbs ground black pepper
1 Tbs Smoked Paprika
4 Tbs Corn Starch
2 Tbs Vegan Butter

Flaming shallots!

1. Toast the onions and shallots in small sauté pan until they begin to brown, about three to five minutes on medium heat.
2. Add whiskey and turn the flame to high. When the whiskey is bubbling with vim and vigor, turn the heat down to medium low and simmer for about 15-20 minutes, or until the liquid has reduced by more than half. Be very careful, as your reduction will catch on fire if your flame is too high. If it does, blow it out.
3. Add the maple syrup and spices.
4. Now in a bowl, mix the cornstarch with an equal amount of cold water and mix with your hands to make slurry. Whisk the jam while you add the slurry in a steady stream. Finish your jam with the butter. Serve on biscuits (‘Sage, Rosemary and Thyme’ Biskeez) or sliced wheat toast.

BLT breakfast salad

1 block tempeh
2 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
2 Tbs. soy sauce
1 Tbs. smoked salt
2 Tbs. maple syrup
20-30 cherry tomatoes (heirloom if possible)
3 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
2 shallots, peeled and shaved
1 pinch tyme
10 leaves of basil, chiffonated
2 cloves garlic
2 Tbs. sherry vinegar (or any other tart vinegar)
1 Tbs. maple syrup
1 bag arugula, washed
1 avocado, pitted and chopped

Braised tomatoes

1. Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
2. To prepare the tempeh maple “bacon”: Slice tempeh lengthwise and widthwise, then chop into tiny bits. Heat a large skillet with olive oil and toss in tempeh. Toss or stir contents every 30 seconds to keep from sticking. Let tempeh brown for 8-10 minutes. Then turn heat to medium and douse the pan with soy sauce. Let soy cook off before adding the smoked salt and maple syrup. Let cook for another 2-3 minutes then remove and set aside.
3. Place your cherry tomatoes side by side in a long casserole dish already rubbed with olive oil. Sprinkle with garlic and herbs and set in oven for 10 minutes, or until squishy. Remove and drain as much of the oil as possible into a cup. Set tomatoes aside.
4. For dressing: Add the tomato-infused oil, basil, sherry vinegar and maple syrup in a food processor with salt and pepper to taste. Pulse until consistent.
5. In a deep bowl toss arugala, avocado, tempeh “maple bacon” and roasted tomatoes while dressing. Serve alongside a couple fresh cherry tomatoes for contrast.

Inverted forest hash

6-8 fingerling potatoes
2 Tbs. smoked salt
1 basket button mushrooms
1 basket crimini mushrooms
6 shitake mushrooms
1 white onion
1 Tbs. extra virgin olive oil
4 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
1 jalapeno, diced
2 Tbs. fresh cracked black pepper
1 Tbs. balsamic vinegar
1 Tbs. smoked paprika

1. Start by boiling the potatoes. Bring a large pot to a rolling boil, season with 1 Tbs. smoked salt and toss in your fingerling potatoes. Cover and let boil for 10-15 minutes. Remove from heat when a fork slides in easily but potato is still crisp. Drain, rinse with cold water and set aside.
2. Pre-heat your oven to 300 degrees.
3. Slice the mushrooms length-wise and the onion into half moons. Place a large skillet on high heat with 1 Tbs. of olive oil and add the garlic and jalapeno. Stir for 1 minute and then add the mushrooms and onion. Top with black pepper. Every couple minutes toss the pan to keep from sticking. After 10 minutes hit it with balsamic and place on low heat for 1 minute. Then remove and place in a casserole dish, shove it straight into the oven.
4. Finish off the potatoes in the same skillet by returning it to high heat with another dash of olive oil while you slice the taters in half. On a plate, mix the remaining smoked salt and the smoked paprika. Press the fingerlings face down to apply seasoning. Then place face down in the hot skillet to grill for 2-3 minutes or until brown.
5. Spoon a clump of hash onto a plate and lay 3 or 4 grilled fingerlings on top.