Sonya Thomas, the "Black Widow" of the competitive eating circuit, made us proud on Saturday when she qualified in Philadelphia with 36.5 dogs. It was an amazing showing by other very talented eaters at this star-studded qualifier, but Sonya showed no fear and ultimately outate all the men. Coney Island is shaping up to be quite the battle this year. After digesting some hot dogs, Sonya answered a few questions for us.

Give us a down and dirty quicky of the event .

I was able to win the event and qualify for Nathan's with 36.5 Dogs and Buns. I actually wanted to qualify with at least 38, so I was a bit disappointed." The Humble One," Bob Shoudt, downed 28 Dogs for second -- his personal best. "Big" Brian Subich and Pat "from Moonachie" Philbin finished a totally respectable 3rd and 4th, eating 25 and 24 Dogs, respectively. Steakbellie was also there and finished 5th with just over 16 Dogs. The competition was fierce from start to finish. It was loads of fun -- great sportsmanship. George Shea MC-ed -- outstanding as always!

Describe the moment when you knew you would win.

I don't like this question, because giving an honest answer makes me sound arrogant, and I am not that kind of person, but I was confident of winning once I had the lead, which I gained within the first minute.

Any comments on your training?

I'm working to increase my jaw strength. I very rarely eat hot dogs -- let alone practice with them. My mouth is little and eating those dogs so quickly really taxes my jaw muscles.

Tell us something funny, or unusual that happened during this qualifier.

Though I have a good sense of humor, I can't remember a thing.

Any controversy before, during, or after?

No controversy whatsoever that I'm aware of.

Any predictions about future qualifiers or the Hartford winner's chance on July 4th
[Note: this was a typo on our part; we meant to ask about the Philly winner's chances (oh, copy/paste), but what a great answer!]

No real predictions -- I only hope that each and every person who attempts to qualify is able to give it his or her best. There is absolutely no place a true competitive eater would rather be than at "The Big Table" on Coney on July 4th. To paraphrase something that IFOCE Chairman George Shea, once said, what could be more American than eating Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs on Coney Island on the Fourth of July? And it really does my heart good to see smiles on the faces of participants who make it, but didn't expect to be there. There's no substitute for that.

Oh yeah, and regarding my prediction for the Hartford winner's chance on Coney? "Eater X" has a great chance to put down 30 dogs. Seriously though, how many eaters throughout history can say that? Tim "Eater X" Janus is one of the best eaters this side of Pluto! And he and Kobayashi are the two most intelligent eaters on the circuit, without question. I can't give too many trade secrets to "Eater X," or he'll wind up whipping me. He learns at light speed!

Anything else you'd like to add?

I am going to have focused fun on July 4th. Given Joey's amazing 50-Dog performance earlier this year, he'll be the center of attention, along with The Great Kobayashi. As such, I'll be able to relax -- if just a wee bit -- and have some real fun!

Last question:

Window ... ALWAYS window. I need privacy and rest.

Right away one is struck with how fun it is to say "mojito burrito". Walking by Taco Del Mar I saw a window sign advertising the new Mojito Burrito and I was impressed that little Taco Del Mar was inventing such a bold new food. The 'Mojito Burrito (TM)' was announced one month ago today on April 24th when Taco Del Mar unveiled their new multi-million dollar advertising campaign showing people enjoying their newest product offering. If you've ever seen a Taco Del Mar commercial you will agree that the one thing Taco Del Mar should not send press releases out about is these commercials. They are terrible.

But regardless of the terrible television commercials, the Mojito Burrito (TM) caught my attention. A mojito is, according to wikipedia, "traditionally made of five ingredients: mint, rum, powdered sugar, lime juice, and club soda." These are not things I would think would make good burrito fillings (well, maybe mint and lime), but the design of the advertising (part of that multi-million dollar campaign no doubt) was clearly selling this burrito on it's close relationship to the drink favored by Ernest Hemingway.

After entering Taco Del Mar, it was like a mojito-advertising attack squad had just left. Everything was saying MOJITO. When I told them I wanted the "Mojito Burrito (TM)" I was asked what kind of wrap. This sort of threw me as I expected the Mojito Burrito (TM) was a pre-set list of special ingredients. So I picked a wrap (whole wheat), and then I picked the style of beans (black), and the meat (chicken), and basically everything else. The only difference between the mojito burrito and a regular burrito was the sauce they used. Mojito sauce.

I paid for my burrito and looked at the receipt:

Ticket #: 17
Register 1 - 19471617
Wed, May 24 2006 - 12:58:10 PM
Cashier: Wand S
------------------
1 JMB CHK BUR 4.99
1 SML DRINK   1.39
------------------
Subtotal:     6.38
Tax:          0.00
Total:        6.38
Credit:       6.38
Change:       0.00

No mention of mojito. I didn't see this as a good sign. Sitting down I quietly unwrapped my burrito and took a hesitant bite. It tasted like Taco Del Mar. I took another bite, thinking perhaps the sauce wasn't evenly spread out. I started eating faster, trying to ignore the flavors I was accustomed with and seeking out the hidden and mysterious new flavor of that much-advertised sauce! IT HAD TO BE THERE! Before I knew it I was looking at a pile of crumpled tin foil. My burrito was gone, and I never tasted any mojito.

In my post-burrito funk, sipping on my Coke, I thought to myself, "Am I just not able to detect it? Is it such a subtle flavor that my crude sense of taste dulled from years of speed-eating have left me unable to taste that presumably delicious mojito sauce?" I was wrecked. But I wasn't giving up that easily.

I asked for a side of the mojito sauce, explaining that I thought my burrito masked too much of the flavor. He seemed unsurprised and filled a large dipping container full of the precious green sauce. I took it back to my table and tentatively dipped a chip into it. I lifted it to my mouth, my mouth starting to water, and I paused for a moment. This was it. The entire essence of the Mojito Burrito (TM). The subject of a multi-million dollar advertising campaign. This was like eating money.

The first flavor was a mild green chile salsa vibe, followed by the oily and salty chip. I waited for the mint and lime explosion. I waited for the mint and lime explosion.

I waited for the mint and lime explosion.

I took another swallow of Coke. It wasn't me. My sense of taste was fine. The problem was simply an incredibly under-whelming sauce being promoted as a new food. They lied to me. They lied to all of us. Taco Del Mar Franchising Corporation went so far as to trademark the words Mojito Burrito based on "a proprietary tangy lime-cilantro sauce" which tastes nothing like a mojito.

Tim Janus rocked the Hartford qualifier, his home town, with 27.5 HDB on Saturday. He's down on himself, but between setting the grilled cheese world record this month, snagging this qualifier, and defending his shoe fly pie title in June, we wonder if he's just not giving himself enough credit. Tim talked to Digest and was kind enough to answer a few questions about his win.

Give us a down and dirty quicky of the event.

It was a fuller field than I had expected. Don Lerman, Pat Philbin, and Krazy Kevin were there. I was very happy to see Don because I'm a big Don Lerman fan. (Don and Charles were the the first two eaters to welcome me to my very first contest two years ago.) And "Black Tie" Stobierski was there. He's a very talented Connecticut eater. He held the Doodle Burger twice, and I've seen him at the CT Qualifier every year I've attended.

We had a better attendance than in previous years. The crowd was loud and supportive, and a whole bunch of my family and friends showed up to cheer for me. Honestly, I got a huge kick out of seeing the look on their faces as they listened to and laughed at Rich's commentary. I spent a good five minutes watching them enjoy themselves as Rich was introducing us. I'm glad that I believe that they'd have enjoyed themselves without me. It means at least as much to me as seeing them enjoy just watching me eat.

I won the qualifier with 27.5, but I'm not very happy. I can do more, and it's killing me that I didn't.

Pat Philbin upped his personal best to 25. That guy improves by 5 at every qualifier. Christ!

I have no idea how many anybody else ate.

I thank Rich for playing "The Power of Love" during my introduction. And I have no idea how or why I came to hold the microphone after the contest. I may have screwed things up a bit, but I did my best to thank everybody, especially my mom and my best friends, The Batchman and Joe Donahoe.

Describe the moment when you knew you were going to win.

Shit. Here comes my jerk comment: Honestly, I believed I'd win once I knew I had the lead. I've got a ton more hot dogs in me if I can ever figure out to get them down. Whenever I have a lead, I'm very comfortable.

I was a lot more relaxed this year than I was last year. I had more confidence, and I'd learned not to spaz internally before the contest. In the 30 or 40 minutes before we started, I tried to enjoy the scene as much as possible. And I kept playing "Tangerine" on my iPod because it makes my heart beat slowly. I like to feel quiet. It's my natural state.

Any comments on your training?

I prayed to the God of Thunder because he's friends with the God of Hot Dogs. No comments on my training. Too many trade secrets have been given away. Time to circle the wagons. (Are the rest of you guys listening?)

Tell us something funny, or unusual that happened during this qualifier.

Our hot dogs had cooled substantially by the time they were served, and they cooled even more when the heavens opened up on us three minutes into the contest. It's never rained on me at a contest before, and despite what you might think, it doesn't get rid of the need to dunk.

Any controversy before, during, or after?

No controversies. None.

Any predictions about future qualifiers or your chance on July 4th?

Can I win on the 4th? Um, let's change the subject.

Anything else you'd like to add?

Joey Chestnut is NOT The Messenger! The Messenger exists only in our minds, kind of like Time. Joey's my friend.

Last question:

I have big plans for myself if I can ever figure out how to fly. Invisibility? No. I'd much rather fly.

We all new this guy could eat. But when Joey Chestnut powered down 50 hot dogs and buns on Thursday, he momentarily stunned the competitive eating world into silence. He not only set a new US record for hot dogs, but he came within touching distance of the world record of 53.2, set by Kobayashi in 2004. Last year, Koby took home the Mustard Belt with only 49. For the first time since 1999 (and before that in 1996), an American may truly be prepared to take the title from the Japanese on July 4th.

We blame it on the fact that the rental company gave us the brightest, most glittery blue car possible. Of course, the fact that I was going 80 in a 65 MPH zone doesn't help. But in either case, we are pulled over by a cop on the New Jersey Turnpike. This isn't good for many reasons, but the most immediate one is that we're worried we'll miss the crab cake competition that awaits us in Baltimore. And we're running late. The cop leans in the passenger's side window and gives us the verdict: "I pulled you over because you were going 81 in a 65." My mind races and I decide to risk it all on the one card I might have up my sleeve. "I'm so sorry! We're covering a crab cake eating competition in Baltimore and we're running late." He looks interested. I smile. "Do you follow competitive eating?" I ask.

He laughs and says, "Are you calling me fat?" D'oh!

"No! Actually, a lot of them are quite trim." It's not quite the right time to launch into a Belt of Fat Theory crash course, but I'd apparently entertained some part of him because he comes back with a ticket reduced to 5 miles over the speed limit.

"Don't eat too many crab cakes, now," he says as he strolls away. If only he knew our group crab cake intake for the day would only amount to a quarter of a certain amazing gurgitator's. And that we were almost in Delaware, where his jurisdiction would run out and we could hit 80 again.

Even with our slow start and little highway adventure, we end up getting to the event with some time to spare. The day couldn't be nicer, with wide blue skies, a slight breeze, and the sun bouncing off ships lining the shores of Inner Harbor. This year's crab cake competition, sponsored by Philips, is taking place in the heart of Baltimore's Waterfront Festival and the mood is electric. This is our first opportunity to attend an outdoor competition, and the atmosphere seems just right.

One of my friends spots Crazy Legs just as we're entering the harbor; he's hard to miss in a bright purple shirt, with his blond-tinged dreadlocks peeking out from under a cowboy hat. We flag him down and he takes us to the main stage. It turns out his crew of travelers from New York hit some snags, too, when they got stuck in bad traffic and blew out a tire on a rented van. The setback was almost devastating for them, as they were headed to Nacho Mama's in Canton for the release party of National Bohemian (Natty Boh) 40 oz.

Now might be a good time to mention Crazy Legs's slight obsession with Natty Boh. A regional beer, known primarily (from what I can gather) for its extreme affordability and one-eyed mascot, it's become a beloved staple in Crazy Leg's life. He lists it as only one of four products he would officially endorse. (The others are Old Bay Seasoning, another local product; Uniball Micro Fine pens with metal clips, now discontinued; and Worldwide Bidet. I actually have no idea what that last one's about.)

So true is Crazy Legs's devotion to Natty Boh, that while here in Baltimore eating crab cakes competitively, he'll go so far as to make it his beverage of choice for the contest. On a circuit where the type, amount, flavoring, and receptacles of liquids are among the most important factors to consider, picking a carbonated alcoholic beverage is highly irregular. But then, Crazy Legs is feeling good. He likes visiting Baltimore, which houses his alma mater, Johns Hopkins, and he's just emerged as the victor of the first Nathan's Qualifier of 2006, which makes him more relaxed than any of the other serious eaters we'll see today.

As we approach the main stage, we catch glimpses of eaters donning red shirts and chatting with groups of people. Because of the sheer size of the place, our usual tactic of roaming from eater to eater for pre-game thoughts is sort of shot from the beginning. We give up early on on the idea of getting to talk to everyone, but decide to catch who we can. We, with Crazy Legs, approach Eric "Badlands" Booker, Tim "Eater X" Janus and a new person I've never met, who are all standing around talking and taking the occasional picture with fans. Booker is excited about being outdoors, too. "I like the energy of the outside competitions. It's festive."

He won't be competing today, but is prepared to perform for the audience. Like most of the eaters, he's focusing on Nathan's, getting ready to compete at the South Street Seaport qualifier in June, which is restricted to civil service employees. It's a qualifier that was "handed down" to him when "Hungry" Charles Hardy retired, and one that Booker is expected to win. But he has other things going on, too. "We might be on 'Wife Swap!'" he tells me with a smile.

I ask if he thinks he'll be the normal family or the crazy family, and he shrugs and says he's up for whatever, and he's sure they'll stick him with a fanatical vegan, but that he'll be accommodating for whatever comes his way. I interpret that as meaning he'll be the normal family. He gets a wicked little gleam in his eye thinking about training the new wife in competitive eating.

Tim, who had stepped away, joins the group again and Badlands points to him saying, "This guy here is my biggest hero. He taught me to change my water to lemonade, iced tea, all kinds of stuff." Tim smiles and demurs, but it's clear Badlands is sincere. And he's not the only fan of Tim's. The guy I don't know turns out to be Seaver Miller, a first time competitor here today and one who is completely excited to be here with the eaters. He gets a picture with Tim and Badlands and tells them that he watched the MTV special that featured Tim. His wife and new baby are here with him today and while he says he's just happy to be here, he would like to put away 25-30 crab cakes and hopes his Jell-O training will pay off.

While I'm talking to Seaver, Jennie (our stellar fill-in for Krista while she's in China) has a chance to chat with Tim. While he's glad to be there and hoping to finish well, he's been feeling uninspired lately. He tells me later that he's in need of a break. Having been going full force in these competitions, he hasn't had the time to let his body and mind get the rejuvenation they need. He fears he's in a place where he can't take a break, but also can't improve. He'll be defending his shoo fly pie title and attending his hometown qualifier in Hartford in June, and needs to maintain his focus throughout the next two months in order to stay in the game. In spite of all these thoughts running through his head, he seems upbeat. His mask is painted blue, which is doing something, um, nice to his eyes, and he seems to be looking forward to getting to hang out with everyone after the competition.

"Buffalo" Jim Reeves strolls up, a sweet man with a dollop of hair on top of an otherwise shaved head. This is my first time meeting Jim, who ranks #15 right now and holds the watermelon championship title. He flew here today from Buffalo after winning Sabers tickets for his 9-year-old daughter, Emily, the night before in a local competition. When he says he's planning on attending the Philly Nathan's qualifier-the same one Sonya's going to-I wonder if it makes him feel like not going. I figure it must be a let down to realize the qualifier you've signed up for will be attended by the nation's number one eater, but Jim says he's done avoiding people. "When I first started, I used to pick qualifiers at the end, because by that time most of the really good eaters had already qualified, but now I don't try to avoid anyone." He figures at the worst it's good practice, and at the best he could score a wild card slot.

This might be true for Jim, but Ken "Mongo" Federighi is visibly relieved to learn that Sonya won't be at the Norfolk qualifier, where he'll be attending. I'm happy to run into Ken, an eater we've run into at several competitions but never caught up with. A native of Maryland, he's tall and muscular with tattooed arms and close cut hair and goatee. His specialty is wings, and he tells me about competing in the "Suicide Chicken Wing Competition" (not IFOCE), where the competitors aren't allowed to drink, but are forced to resist the ultimate temptation as fresh Rolling Rocks are placed along the table. "I like to take a swig of the hot sauce on the table when I sit down. Y'know, to intimidate the others. But one year I decided to rub it all over my chest." Which, if you haven't guessed, turned out to be an awful idea. "It blistered up and was awful!" Ken says, his face contorting with the memory of the pain.

The time is closing in on the competition and we start to make our way through the crowd to secure a good place to take pictures. We catch a glimpse of Chip Simpson, tanned and freckled on his way back stage. He stops to say hi, but seems very focused on the upcoming competition. The only other time I'd seen Chip was at meatballs in Atlantic City, which turned out to be a rather, er, unfortunate event for the 24-year-old student (though he maintains there was no reversal), which made me curious to see how he'd place today. He, too, will be attending the Philly qualifier, rounding out what seems likely to be an all-star cast on May 27th. Minnesota and Atlanta are also on his list in case Philly goes to another eater.

We also run into Ryan Nerz, who is emceeing today's competition. This is a twist of luck, because he's very Digest-friendly and let Jennie, Josh (our cameraman) and me into the little media cage set up in front of the stage, where we have a fantastic view of everyone. At one point the organizer ran up to me frantically and asked if I was press. "Uh yeah, we're from Digest."

"Digest? What Digest? Are you supposed to be here?"

I have to keep assuring her that we were told it was fine and that she could check with Ryan, which eventually seems to calm her down. She looks skeptically at our little camera and handheld camcorder sandwiched in between all the ESPN cameras and professional lenses. I follow her gaze.

"We're just a little less high tech." She smiles and wishes us luck.

Ryan is joined on stage by a new emcee, Eddie Dunn, a performer with The Upright Citizen's Brigade, and Charles Hardy who is checking over the plates (cardboard slabs) of 25 crab cakes arranged at each eater's station.

Ryan welcomes everyone and then drops a bomb: a no dunking rule will be in effect for the entire competition. The fans in the crowd are audibly shocked and there's a low murmur of discussion. He goes on to explain that it's one of the ways in which Hardy is trying to better regulate the standards of the competition. Later, the eaters will disagree on whether the rule effected their eating. David "Brickhouse" Braunstein, another native of Maryland, dunked in training and thought it threw him off to have to eat them dry. "Humble" Bob Shoudt, true to his name, thought it wouldn't have made any difference. "The crabcakes were almost all crab and were almost falling apart as they were. If you'd have dunked them, they would have just disappeared into the water."

In any case, the eaters don't have a choice. Ryan and Eddie begin calling the competitors onto stage as huge crowd cheers them on. Crazy Legs comes out holding up his Natty Boh cans in triumph, Tim, clearly recognized by the audience, gets loud applause, Bob comes out in mirrored sunglasses and a hat that (ironically?) says "Humble Bob." For the first time in a competition, he gets a seat that will be right next to Sonya, a fact that he later says helped him by being able to keep track of her progress. Justin Mih, one of our favorite up-an-comers (still with no nickname) comes out all smiles and waves, and a troop of local talent fills in the edges. You can almost hear the audience holding their breath for Sonya and a giant roar goes up when she finally takes the stage, last. In 2005, she set a new world record by eating 40 crab cakes in 12 minutes. This year, the competition is only 10 minutes long, and she hopes to still break her standing record.

There's some last minute shuffling of waters and crab cakes, and then we're ready to watch a champion emerge. Ryan gives the signal and the gurgitators dig in. Humble Bob and Chip Simpson are the only ones sitting; the rest are standing and grabbing what they can. Sonya's technique involves palming a crab cake and stuffing the entire thing in her mouth at once, chewing briefly and swallowing almost whole. Tim is taking smaller bites, but getting them down pretty quickly. Crazy Legs's beverage choice is interacting in a pretty hilarious way with the speed: a white foam starts to build up around his goatee as he munches the crab cakes, chugs the beer, and does his own, more dancey, version of the Koby shake.

Sonya has ten down in the first minute and she looks like she's only just getting started. With her eyes squeezed shut in concentration, she seems to be mentally sending the food into her stomach through pure will. With Humble Bob it's a different scene all together. Watching the tape later, J remarks, "It looks like he's sitting down to dinner." It's true. The speed at which he's eating is almost imperceptibly faster than usual. Chip, too, seems to be taking a sneak attack. Like several of the eaters, he's listening to music while eating. He tells us later that it was Metallica and Linkin Park that were helping him get through the crab cakes this afternoon. It's definitly working. He's in a groove and the updates from his side of the table come with surprised exclamations from the emcees.

David "Brickhouse" Braunstein, who wanted so badly for this to be his event, is looking pained. He's clearly not doing as well as he'd like, and at one point he looks out to someone in the audience and just shakes his head "no." It's heart-breaking! Justin Mih is also looking a bit worn, but sticking in there. He loses a couple crab cakes to the floor, but sweeps down to scoop them up and eat them down. Sonya's pace remains steady as she bobs in place, shuttling the food to her belly.

Time is called and all the eaters step away to finish what's in their mouths. Hardy comes around to examine the remains and mark official scores, while Booker comes up to perform. It turns out the sound equipment wasn't working with his backup tracks, so the emcees lay some improvisational beats down. Booker plays along until Eddie does a weird chopping thing to his neck, which creates a loud barkng sound. At this point Badlands takes the mike away shows them how it's done. He's preparing for the compilation of his new album "Jim Mullen's Teeth," early tracks of which he'll later let us listen to.

Finally Ryan comes out with the results. In third place: Humble Bob with 38 crab crakes. And in a surprise upset, Chip Simpson takes second place with 39 crab cakes. Sonya, of course, comes in first with a record-shattering 46 crab cakes in 10 minutes. Tim followed closely with 37, then Jim with 29.5, and Brickhouse Braunstein took fifth with 23. Crazy Legs only ate 20, but also downed three Natty Bohs, which seems like it should count for something. And if the IFOCE is looking for fresh talent, they might keep their eyes on Seaver Miller, the newbie from earlier, who finished with a respectable 21 crab cakes.

Crazy Legs has good things to say about Chip, who he includes in his "Saved By the Bell Gang," representing the demographic of younger eaters. He jokes that people don't expect much from Chip because he looks like Raggedy Andy, but he is getting much better at mental preparation and other eaters should take heed of Chip as he continues to improve.

Speaking of new young eaters, Booker tells us later about Charles Hardy Jr.'s planned debut at the Molly Pitcher qualifier. Booker is already impressed with the talent he thinks is inherent in young Charles. The college freshman put down 24.5 Nathan's HDB in a recent training run. He's quick to note it's an unofficial ruling, but it's still sounding impressive to me. And what about the chances that Booker's own 13-year-old son will begin training in five years to take on a second generation of competitive eaters? Booker just shakes his head and smiles.

After the competition, the day melts into an obscure, but ridiculously fun, series of events. We meet up with several of the eaters, the emcees, their friends, and Kate Westfall, the lovely young woman who oversees all the details of the IFOCE events. We end up on a water taxi, at a couple great bars in Fells Point, and, later in the evening, at the Mayor's Ball, an event we're only slightly underdressed for. It's really nice getting to see the camaraderie between the eaters, and I get the same feeling that this is really what it's all about for them. Talk of the cancellation of the Alka Seltzer bowl comes up and everyone expresses disappointment at losing a three-day stretch in which to visit with one another at leisure. That's what it's really all about, the sentiment in the air says. And sitting there with them, under the clear Baltimore night sky, it's hard to disagree.

Lots of pictures here. More here!

* * *
Would you like to attend an eating competition and be in the studio audience for a brand new show? The IFOCE might be looking for you. Details about this weekend's filming of Eats of Strength in NY here.

* * *
Krista and I have been looking forward to attending the pickle eating competition held this year at Carnagie Deli at the end of May. There's been an ongoing controversy about the IFOCE's involvement in this, but Beautiful Brian has just written me to tell me they're officially out due to AICE members' participation. (Any comments about this should be directed to Brian.)