image from NBC

Yesterday, the IFOCE and GoldenPalace.net hosted the St. Valentine's Day Chocolate Massacre at the Chicago Chocolate Company. The contest was seven minutes long to represent the seven men Al Capone's hitmen killed on Valentine's Day 1929. Cheerful!

All the eaters were given plates piled high with milk chocolate hearts and set to devouring them with glasses of milk and other drinks nearby. At the end of the seven minutes, Patrick Bertoletti came out on top, demolishing just shy of two pounds of chocolate in the time allotted, and winning $2,500. After beating Sonya and Joey Chestnut in the corned beef competition and coming in a close third in grilled cheese, we think Bertoletti is definitely one to watch.

Krista and I caught up with Pat after this amazing feat to answer a few questions about the competition.

First of all the chocolate itself: tell us a little about how the texture of the food was different from other competitions you've done. Was it difficult to chew and swallow? Did your liquid of choice affect the eating of the chocolate?

The chocolates themselves are a matter of jaw strength; you have to chew them a lot more than other foods to get them down. This was the hardest contest I have done so far. Eating chocolate in a contest is a humbling experience; I won with just under 2 pounds (which to onlookers really may not seem like a lot). I was drinking hot water with lemon juice, which did facilitate easier swallowing and chewing.

Were the hearts unwrapped or did you have to de-foil them?

The hearts were all unwrapped and put on plates of 19.

Milk chocolate can give you that burn in the back of your throat; did you experience that or any other physical reactions that were unique to chocolate?

I didn't have that burning sensation that you speak of. But after a while the chocolate was unpalatable and was nearly impossible to keep swallowing.

Did your cd player last through this competition?

For this contest I opted to go without a cd player. But right after I went on a spree and bought a new 60 gb iPod, so hopefully my music in the future is safe.

Did our suggtion that you'd be unstoppable with an iPod influence your buying decision?

You know, it did play into the decision. The $2,500 and student discount also played into the decision.

We read an article that said you practiced ahead of time. How did you do in these practice sessions?

In practice I did 2.5 pounds in big chunks.

How did it feel to compete in Chicago, on your home turf?

I was actually nervous to compete and be the top dog because I didn't want to disappoint and because I had never done a sweet or chocolate eating contest before.

We imagine that eaters enter a specific state-of-mind when they are in the middle of a competition. Is there anything else in your life that you can compare that to? That is, can you ever apply what you've learned from competitive eating to another activity or mindset?

The "zone" you are talking about is hard to accomplish in other areas of my life; I can transfer extreme focus and mind over matter to working out and working during a busy shift at a restaurant, though.

Any specific goals for this season?

I want to be in the top five by the end of the year, and to improve upon my totals of past contests. Giving Joey and Sonya a run for their money wouldn't be such a bad thing either.

The IFOCE article about the Chocolate Massacre has this quote: "He has earned a place in the hearts of women all over America." Should the ladies get their hopes up or are you off the market?

I am single, and the posts on IFOCE never cease to amuse me. Thanks for the interest in a Chicago hopeful.

The Twin Cities Pioneer Press might be the greatest newspaper for man or beast as they have a review on the schedule of new Frito-Lay snacks!

According to the Pioneer Press the snack schedule for new products is:

JANUARY:

• Baked! Cheetos Flamin' Hot. So what if they have half the fat grams of regular Cheetos — this purplish-red snack has the texture of Styrofoam and an artificial flavor reminiscent of chile, salt and citric acid. They're just awful — yuck.
• Lay's Baked! Cheddar & Sour Cream. More cracker than chip, these have crunch without the grease, but the flavor is more sour cream than cheese.
• Tostitos Reduced Fat Zesty Cheese Dip. Even though it's got a quarter less fat than the regular cheese dip, this one is still rich and cheesy with a jalapeno kick, perfect if you've got a yen for nachos but no time to make them from scratch.

FEBRUARY:

• Sunchips Garden Salsa. Crunchy and not too salty, but the so-called salsa flavor is a tad too sweet and has that bad dried-herb aftertaste like pizza rolls. Pass.
• Cheetos Crunchy Twisted. A cross between Cheetos and Cheese Puffs, these new cheesy twists will likely make you want to keep reaching for more.
• Lay's KC Masterpiece Stax Hot'n Spicy BBQ. Look like Pringles but have an addictive sweet/hot flavor of chile and liquid smoke.
• Lay's Sensations Kettle Cooked Sweet Chili & Sour Cream. Super crisp and thin, these chips have an offputting floury coating — presumably from the sour cream — and a nasty aftertaste.

MARCH:

• Tostitos Bite Size Gold. Actually, Bite Size Golds are on the big side. Thick cut with a nice corniness, these dipping chips have none of the lingering oil on the tongue or fingers that ruins a lot of other chips. They don't even need salsa or guacamole.
• Tostitos Sensations Roasted Garlic & Herb. What were they thinking? These flavored tortilla chips have a gross, highly synthetic flavor of garlic bread.

MAY:

• Doritos Fiery Habanero. The real deal, these chips have a heat so giddy-up you will be rounding up the nearest water bottle.

By Liz Kellermeyer and Krista Overby

We started off Wednesday morning feeling very much like tourists. Dressed in jeans on a weekday, checking the subway map to see if the express train stopped at 47th street, and, finally, heading to Planet Hollywood in Times Square. Though the location and time may have contributed to the low tourist attendance (the contest was held mid-week, mid-morning on a top floor of the restaurant and out of view of passing pedestrians), we have to admit the gaudy location really brightened the atmosphere. Jimmy Stewart's handprints along the stairway and life-size Ninja Turtles climbing the walls added a certain je ne sais quoi. Those Planet Hollywood folks sure know class when they see it.

As we arrived, Sonya Thomas was being interviewed by 20/20, which only added to the mystique and made us feel like perhaps we should have brought some lights and cables. We quickly got to work and set out to meet a few new people; including Ron Koch who was raving about the "Belly Buster" sandwich he ate the day before at the Carnegie deli. As he is reliving the gastronomic delights of the previous evening Sonya walks in with a cup of coffee in her hand. Ron immediately stops talking and quickly asks Sonya what's in the mug. She looks perplexed, but Ron continues to ask her what's in the cup with a vigor that is only increasing as she stays silent. Finally she tells him it's only coffee and directs him to where he can find some of his own. He pauses as if he's deciding if she's telling the truth or not. It seems paranoia reigns supreme before a competition. Perhaps Ron thought the secret to Sonya's success was a secret liquid stomach stretching potion? Meanwhile Cookie Jarvis is discussing his failed attempt at becoming NBC's "The Biggest Loser"; try-outs were held a few days prior to the competition in the same location. And yes, he said he would give up eating to lose the weight. Planet Hollywood sure does enjoy catering to people who can eat a lot.

Consistency
The grilled cheese competition, sponsored by the International Federation of Cometitive Eating (IFOCE), is one of the few where there are qualifying rounds that eaters must win in order to compete in a final world championship. The qualifying rounds for grilled cheese are held all over the country and hosted by different sponsors, making the consistency of the sandwiches varied across the board. So if an eater devoured 20 sandwiches to win a qualifying round, he or she may not have necessarily done better than one who ate 16, depending on a number of factors for each eater's sandwiches. (i.e., was the bread chewy or crispy? Were there two slices of cheese or three? Were they fried lightly or heavily?).

The eaters we talked to about this all agree that so much depends on the sandwich (glazed with water. Beside the white plates.), although to what degree was up for debate. We ran into Carlene LeFevre, Rich "The Locust" LeFevre's wife and ex-fellow competitive eater, who came for support. She is a sweet woman, who looks every inch the grade school teacher that she is (albeit one who bungee jumps, white water rafts, and holds a posole eating record), wrapped in a sparkling pink scarf and practically knocking us over with her charm. She maintains that while there is inevitably going to be a wide range of variance between the qualifiers, competitive eaters always have to deal with inconsistencies in the food. One person may be better situated (by chance) to receive slightly warmer food than another, for example, not to mention that preserving perfect consistency when cooking large batches of food is next to impossible.

Though almost every eater has something to say about how much the consistency of the sandwiches affects their performance, Humble Bob is quick to dismiss what he calls the "hype." "Everyone's going to say that their grilled cheese qualifier was the hard one. Of course they are."

Because of the qualifiers there is also, IFOCE Chair and master of ceremonies George Shea mentioned, a mad dash to find out who will be where. Shea said all of the competitors are constantly calling him prior to each qualifier in order to find out who will be competing at each location. They want to make sure they have a good chance of winning, so they spread out all over the country.

Hardy's Rule

Just one day before the competition, commissioner Hungry Charles Hardy instated a new rule limiting the time eaters could dunk their grilled cheeses in water to five seconds. There was a lot of grumbling among the eaters about this, as effectively using a liquid is one of the most important aspects to eating fast. In a comment on competitive eating fansite Trencherwomen.com following the competition, Hardy summed up the reasoning for the rule like this: "As far as the dunking rule it had to be because it's really difficult to judge if someone has a cup full of crap. How many sandwiches is equivalent to a cup of crap?" Exactly.

But besides the dunking rule, there were other water obstacles to overcome, namely the Planet Hollywood glasses. We're talking to Eater X, who is wearing a yellow sandwich board (pun possibly intended):

He says, "People are looking right through me for this competition." He's the first one to voice irritation at the mandatory glasses they're to use during the competition. Usually the eaters are allowed to bring and use their own cups, which are generally large mouthed and plastic. The cups in question are standard restaurant glasses and Eater X thinks they'll have to refill them too many times, slowing them down during crucial seconds.

None of the competitors are happy about the glasses, but of course they will use them. Water, or some other liquid, is vital for a competition that includes bread, though finding the right balance is also crucial. Cookie Jarvis says how hard it is because your instinct is to drink as much water as you can, but doing that leads to loss of valuable stomach space. He marvels at Sonya's apparent ability to use water sparingly. Though we didn't notice Sonya using much less water than others, she, too, emphasizes how carefully you have to work the balance.

The water doesn't do much for the cheese, though. Cookie Jarvis tells us you have to be careful how many sandwiches you cram in your mouth or your jaw and throat will get gummed up with the cheese. Carlene LeFevre likens it to glue. They're hoping the sandwiches are a little warm, so the cheese will be a bit melted, which would help. Rich is a bit worried because he doesn't make it a habit to practice at home ("It's very unhealthy.") even though he knows it might put him at a disadvantage in some contests. He says he knows the grilled cheese sandwiches will most likely be very chewy and hard on the jaw. He and Carlene are self-described "health nuts" when they are at home. Eating mostly oatmeal, yogurt, and skim milk. They do, however, splurge sometimes, saving up their big eating for places like the Carnegie Deli and Carmines.

Undercard

The surprise undercard is pickle eating competition between Beautiful Brian and Krazy Kevin, who ongoingly vie for the title of pickle-eating champ. George Shea has brought two jars of pickles, one for each eater. The first to finish their jar of pickles wins, no time limit. Even though Brian stays ahead for much of the competition, he has some trouble when it comes to swallowing the last bits. To paint a more vivid picture, pickle pieces keep shooting out of his mouth and he keeps shoving them back in, only to have them pop out again. Kevin is able to get his last mouthful down and takes home the title once again. To celebrate his victory or perhaps taunt Brian who is still trying to swallow the remaining pickle pieces he picks up the pickle bowl and drinks the juice with a flourish.

Competition

When asked to name her closest competitors, Sonya lists off four names: Joey Chestnut, Rich LeFevre, Eater X, and Ron Koch. But what about Patrick Bertoletti, who beat both her and Joey in the corned beef competition? She shakes her head and gives a sly look. "No, I think grilled cheese will be too heavy." Her thought is that the corned beef just wasn't that much food, and when it comes down to a competition where speed and capacity count for a lot, he won't pull through with the same results.

In a recent blog entry, Eater X likened his participation in the upcoming competition to a cage fight with a chimpanzee, with the chimpanzee being a composite of Sonya and Joey. He, too, was dismissive of competition coming from the rookie.

Even Joey Chestnut didn't rank Bertoletti as much of a threat. He agreed with Sonya's sentiments about his stomach capacity and abilities when it came down to grilled cheese.

However, Bertoletti has a little surprise for them. He has been practicing. He's determined that he might have a shot at this competition. The young Culinary Arts major from Kendall College is serious about food and when we ask him how he prepared for the grilled cheese challenge he said he had only eaten a little ice cream the day before, but had held a private grilled cheese challenge of his own on Monday. He said he ate as many sandwiches as he could cram down his throat and when we asked what that number was, he paused for a minute, his eyes darting around the room. When he was sure no one was listening he quietly says, "...Twenty-nine." It was then that we knew this Mohawk-wearin', Irish punk-lovin' kid from Chicago had a chance.

Heavenly Sights

All around us, the eaters are arriving and greeting each other with hugs and hand shakes. Also in attendance is the Virgin Mary. As she appears seared onto a half slice of a twelve-year-old grilled cheese sandwich. GoldenPalace.com, a casino website, bought Mary for $28,000 when she was auctioned on eBay in 2004. The sandwich is encased in glass and is paraded around by her original owner, Diana Duyser, who stops and poses for pictures when asked. The whole thing would be unbelievably hilarious if it weren't for the fact that Duyser seems tragically fastened to the sandwich, clutching it as if it alone could save her from Satan's hell fire. When we asked how she felt when she first saw the image of the Virgin Mary on her sandwich she said, "Blessed." Jesus could nothave said it better.

The ever sweet Joey Chestnut smiles and rolls his eyes at the whole thing, calling it "blasphemous." He says he once tried to recreate the Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese once, painting it with butter, and when that didn't work, mayonnaise. He suddenly stops and looks over at the competition table, "Ug. I hope they don't fry the sandwiches in mayonnaise!" "Would it make the sandwiches heavier?" we ask. "It'd just be disgusting."

Joey always seems to me like a character out of a Hallmark Hall of Fame made-for-TV movie. You know the type: the sweet natured cowboy/farmer who quietly goes about his business in town/range, concealing a secret gift for painting water colors/writing poetry out in his cabin/farmhouse and one day falls in love with the fun-loving minister's/merchant's daughter after saving her from a rushing river, or a combine, or bear...or...you get the picture. He's totally a catch; we're waiting for the ladies to start asking about his availability as well as Eater X's who is currently considered the most gorgeous of the gorgers. If you want a closer look at Eater X's assets you can see him on an upcoming episode of MTVs "True Life: I'm a Competitive Eater" airing February 22th. He said, of the filming of the show, "It's like going on a really bad first date. The camera doesn't respond I just stopped trying to be charming. I don't know how I'm gonna look."

Let's Eat!

Finally it is time to get down to business. George Shae dons his legendary straw boater hat, begins his introductions, and the table begins to fill up with eaters. The competitors are a little cramped behind the table, and the last minute addition of Eric "Badlands" Booker, who got in late (he only got off work as a #7 subway conductor a few minutes beforehand), only worsens the space issues. Somehow they manage to make it work, and everyone fills up their despised Planet Hollywood glasses and arranges their plates of grilled cheese sandwiches as they come from the kitchen sitting five to a dish. Ron Koch feels the sandwiches, testing them for warmth. He looks at me and makes a face. "Are they warm?" we ask. He frowns, dons his famous goggles, and shakes his head no. As Shea gets ready to start the timer Cookie Jarvis yells out that he sees Kentucky on his sandwich, which elicits a laugh from the mostly press filled audience.

And they're off!

Though Hardy had laid out the 5-second dunking rule, there is an immediate controversy as both Eater X and Sonya take their glasses of water and pour them over their plates of grilled cheese. George Shea catches this and immediately reiterates the dunking rule, this time adding that eaters cannot dunk longer than five seconds OR pour water over their sandwiches. It's unclear whether this part of the rule was ever explicitly laid out for the eaters, but it's hard to imagine they would flagrantly break a rule they knew could lead to disqualification. Shea motions for Hardy, who rushes out to scrutinize the sandwiches. "Get him a new plate!" Shea intones, and Hardy signals for more plates to be brought out. Neither Eater X nor Sonya slow down as Hardy bustles around in front of them, though their eyes dart back and forth, taking in the action. A new plate is brought out and only Eater X's soaking sandwiches are replaced with dry ones.

In any case, there seems to be prolonged dunking going on with lots of the eaters, and no one's really holding a stopwatch. The main technique is to rip the sandwiches in half (so they'll fit in the Planet Hollywood glasses), dunk, and stuff. Bertoletti in particular seems to have hit a stride. He has earphones on and is visibly bouncing to a beat, chomping the sandwiches to a rhythmic pace. We're forced to watch from the side at a weird angle due to all the camera crews, so unfortunately we don't get a close look at what's going on at the other end of the table, where Crazy Legs, Shea announced, was doing something similar to the "Kobe shake," referring to a movement the #1 eater in the land, Kobayashi, perfected. It's probably not a coincidence, since Conti had recently spent four days training with him in Japan. Earlier, when asked if he enjoyed his trip he proudly announced that he and Kobayashi had eaten the deadly fogu blowfish while there. He seemed to be delighted to be able to live to tell about it.

Standing near Conti are Badlands, Hall Hunt, and Humble Bob. Hall Hunt had talked about taking an academic approach to eating, trying to figure out the best eating method to suit each type of food. Even though he said he was feeling under the weather and thus not in top form, we were disappointed not to have a better view of his academic approach to grilled cheeses. We're also curious about Humble Bob, who keeps a vegetarian diet when he's at home with his family. We'd earlier asked him if he was excited for a competition that doesn't involve meat, and he waved his hand dismissively saying, "I'm sure this cheese has rennet in it." We do get a nice view of a sweaty Cookie Jarvis who is putting the sandwiches away at a nice clip and belching loudly after each one. Unlike the meatball competition, watching the eating isn't stomach-turning. The fresh grilled cheeses even smell pleasant as they round the corner.

The final minute comes, and we help count down the last ten seconds:

Hardy comes out to start tallying. It is impossible to tell where everyone ended up, so we are eager to hear the results. After a brief meeting back stage, George Shea comes out to announce the winners. Eater X, perhaps needing a bit of an escape, dons a pair of headphones. Sonya looks a little worried. Third place is announced, eating 24.5 sandwiches, none other than our favorite rookie, Patrick Bertoletti, steps up to claim the prize. Joey takes second place with 25.5 sandwiches, and gets his trophy; a white plate with the Virgin Mary grilled cheese image above a bronze plaque...elegant. The winner, at 26 sandwiches in 10 minutes, is Sonya Thomas, who raises her arms in victory and poses with her trophy for the cameras.

(Watch the announcement!)

Earlier, we asked the eaters if there was a human limit to an eating competition. Whether there was a specific limit to the amount of grilled cheese sandwiches a person in top form could eat in a ten-minute competition. Sonya, Joey, and Hall Hunt all estimated the number to be around 40. Eater X, when asked, focused on the current competition. "Today? No one will eat more than 27 sandwiches. That's the limit." Eerily accurate!

The eaters free themselves from behind the table, and Sonya, incredibly, grabs another grilled cheese sandwich and starts casually munching on it as the cameras edge in.

Digest

We head to speak with some competitors for some post contest wrap-up talk. Our first question to Bertoletti, whose mouth is bright red from where the grilled bread rubbed his lips raw, is to find out what he was listening to. It really seemed to energize him. He answers, "It was Flogging Molly, Irish punk, but it went out right before the competition started, it always does that." Someone get that boy an iPod! We're pretty sure if he had music to get him all the way through a competition he would be unstoppable.

When we asked Tim "Eater X" Janus the same question he said, "Oh, it was Huey Lewis and the News and The Grateful Dead for awhile." We're thinking if we put together a competitive eating CD featuring the eater's favorites it would be a very eclectic mix. Any CD that could go from, "I Want a New Drug" to "Death Valley Queen" is something to behold.

As the clean-up begins we notice that Don "Moses" Lerman, who didn't compete in today's challenge seems to be holding his own little private eating contest in the back. He's busily feasting on the mountains of grilled cheese sandwiches left over from the contest. Every time we looked at him he seemed to be holding a brand new sandwich. We finally asked him how many he had eaten in the 5 minutes or so since the contest ended and he bashfully says, "Four." You can take the eater out of the competition, but you can't take the competition out of the eater. Or is it the other way around?

All this time there has also been an EMT standing close at hand in case the worst were to happen. No small man himself he looks like he could easily step into any of the eater's shoes, he watches the entire competition with a blissful expression on his face. As the eaters start to leave he grabs a sandwich and starts to chow down, he says to us, "This is great. I know all of these guys, but I've never seen them in person. I'm a big fan." He takes another bite of the sandwich and we ask him if it's any good. He looks down at it, looks at us, and says, "Nope," and then happily takes another bite.

Full flickr album here.

Here are the official results from today's contest!

1. Sonya Thomas 26 sandwiches
2. Joey Chestnut 25.25
3. Patrick Bertoletti 24
4. Humble Bob 20.75
5. Rich LeFevre 20
6. Eater X 19.5
7. Badlands Booker 19
8 & 9. Cookie Jarvis and Ron Koch 15
10. Crazy Legs Conti 14
11. Hall Hunt 11

Detailed report to come, including scandal with Planet Hollywood glasses, a new soaking rule, an impressive showing by a rookie, and a surprise pickle eating competition. Stay tuned!