The Pizza Challenge
By kmikeym from August 31, 2005
Chompy is the Eating Challenger Shark Trophy. Only one man (or woman) can posses Chompy, because in addition to his name, these words are written on his side, "I am an eating champion", and there can only be one champion. Today was the first of many eating challenges, an all you can eat pizza buffet at Eatza Pizza.
With a 30 minute time limit the champion would be the one who consumed the most slices without any "reversal of fortune". A number of tactics emerged during the course of the competition, including the obvious scouring for smaller slices, and the surprising delay caused by fresh hot slices. With many different variants of mediocre (at best) pizza, including several sweet dessert styles, you would think it would keep the flavors interesting. But after about 10 slices of poorly made pizza, no novelty sauce or topping really mattered.
There seemed to be a wall at about 15 slices, which is a good five to six more slices than is really comfortable. With a total of nine people we ate 130 pieces, or just over 14 pizza pies (plus some pasta, breadsticks, and soda). With a cost of $4.50 per person we averaged about $0.31 a slice.
So, who is the champion? Here are the standings:
DISQUALIFICATION: Dave Hayden
Dave ate 10 slices, but did not consume the crusts. When asked to comment on his disqualification Dave explained he wasn't in the competition, he was just getting lunch.
9th Place: Steven Frank
With only five slices, Steven Frank ate the least pizza of anyone. He did however, take advantage of both the cheesy breadsticks (4) and the pasta with red sauce.
8th Place: C. S.
With a strange focus on the BBQ chicken pizza and dessert pizza, Cabel seemed to be playing a conceptual game. With only 7 slices he did however set a personal best.
5th Place: Daniel Peterson, Les Pozdena, and Wade Cosgrove
A three-way tie for 5th place with the unlucky 13 pieces they each ate. Wade exceeded his goal of ten, while Daniel was two away (he claims he actually ate 14) from his 15 slice goal, and unfortunately Les was a distant 7 slices from his personal goal of 15 slices.
3rd Place: Alex Pasco, Mike Merrill
With a nice round 15 pieces both Alex and Mike finished their final pieces in a race against the clock to meet their own goals.
2nd Place: J.John Afryl
J.John finished with a strong 18 pieces. After the clock hit zero, he even went and had another two slices, just to show off his eating prowess.
1st Place Eating Champion: Ian Cely
A win by a slice! 19 pieces set Ian as the Pizza Eating Champion and the current holder of Chompy the Eating Challenger Shark Trophy! Congratulations Ian, glad to see getting married has only increased your eating abilities!
<< | Posted on August 31, 2005 at 8:03 PM | >>
You should not eat pennies. The copper will leach into your bloodstream and cause paralysis.
Posted by Josh @ September 1, 2005 4:03 AM
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
LIES!
I ATE 14!
Posted by daniel(14slicesofpizza)petetrson @ September 1, 2005 5:15 AM
Math correction: Les was a distant 5 slices from his personal goal of 18 slices.
Posted by Leslie @ September 1, 2005 6:08 AM
UPS is my sponsor!
Ultimate
Pizza
Stomach!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm coming for your title Ian!!!
Posted by J_John @ September 1, 2005 6:32 AM
What really amazes me is that some of these boys eating 13+ slices are like... skinny. Where do they fit all that pizza? And how do they remain so svelte? I mean, don't you guys do this regularly with, like, donuts and stuff? I can't understand it.
Posted by Lucie @ September 1, 2005 1:13 PM
Also, did anything get done at Panic that afternoon or did everyone just sit around groaning and cursing the name of Eatza Pizza?
Posted by Lucie @ September 1, 2005 1:16 PM
These slices were a bit smaller than normal... that is true.
Daniel, we believe you, but the league has to go by the official score, even if it's flawed. If we had tape to review, we'd check it out... You ate 14 in my book (well, my other book, not the official book).
I'd like to call that math error a "typo" if you all don't mind.
Lucie, do you not know of Kobayashi and the "wall of fat" theory? There is a lot more to competitive eating than gluttony!
And yes, productivity was low that afternoon.
Posted by Mikey @ September 1, 2005 5:54 PM
So when are we going to competitively eat donut holes?
Posted by Rebecca @ September 1, 2005 7:31 PM
I am blown away. Where does John Afryl fit all that pizza? I am asking literally. I have a vague idea of how large a human stomach is, and I don't understand where the pizza goes. If I ate even 7 pieces of pizza, I would fall down in a coma with a ruptured spleen. I don't know if I am impressed or repulsed. Possibly a little of both. Please get back to me on the actual physics of where the pizza goes inside of John Afryl's body. Thank you.
Posted by ritchey @ September 2, 2005 11:12 AM
Anytime, anyplace, anyfood J.John. The all-star rookie will defend his title!
Posted by Ian @ September 3, 2005 12:48 AM
Ritchey--maybe someday I will show you my extra stomach that I had inserted (the Ultimate Pizza kind). It helps out a great deal.
Ian!
Mashed Potatoes?! Home-based eating competition with a scale to judge the proper weight of food consumed. What do you think?
Posted by J_John @ September 5, 2005 1:52 AM
Post a comment:
I would like to see a photo of a pizza slice relative to, say, a regular penny. Is this possible?
Posted by Rebecca @ September 1, 2005 3:32 AM