Team Pizza: North Portland
Pizza is a staple of our diet. With a base of bread and a pile of veggies, fruits, meats, and cheese, pizza is a literal food pyramid. While arguing over toppings defines our culture as much as arguing politics, the classic slice of cheese is the basis by which we judge one pizzeria from another. The cheese slice allows us to compare "apples to apples", rather than taking a slice of ham and pineapple and trying to compare that to pesto sauce and chicken. We eliminate all the wonderful clutter that can be a slice of pizza and just focus on the basics: crust, sauce, and cheese.
In order to make our Five Part Investigation of Portland Pizza as useful as possible, we have limited our scope to pizza that is delivered. While this does remove from the running the local favorites like Ken's Artisan Pizza, Escape From New York, and Apizza Scholls, we feel like there is much more usefulness in the best delivered pie. We've also broken down our search by quadrant to better address the places to consider when ordering pizza. Part one is North Portland.
We chose four places to call, including Pizza Hut as a representative of the national chains that can deliver anywhere. Surprisingly, we had difficulty in recalling even three places in North Portland that delivered. We chose Pizza A-Go-Go, Mississippi Pizza, and Tom's Pizza and Pub.
At 7:45 pm on a Friday night we called the four pizza places at the same time and ordered a cheese pizza. Right away we ran into some snags. Mississippi Pizza does not deliver! We quickly called Eddy's Flatiron Pizza (a favorite of North Portland residents Curt and Molly) and noted the time differential. The other problem was that Tom's Pizza and Pub had a minimum delivery order and a single cheese pizza did not meet that minimum, so we added an order of cheesy breadsticks.
After making the calls and dealing with the initial problems, we looked at the info we had so far, Delivery Estimates: Pizza Hut made a bold claim of only 28 minutes. Eddy's Flatiron Pizza said 35 to 40 minutes. Tom's Pizza was a 45 minute estimate, and Pizza A Go Go was a surprising hour to an hour and 15 minutes.
Pizza Hut
Coming in well under the 28 minute claim was Pizza Hut, arriving just 19 minutes and 42 seconds from the point at which we started to dial their number. Everyone was impressed, and a little suspicious. Were they just out there circling the neighborhoods with pizza's ready to deliver?
With seven people tasting and rating the flavor on a scale of one to ten, we had a wide variety of scores that averaged out to 4.57/10. Clearly this wasn't great pizza, but the delivery time was great.
Sarah: "I get an aftertaste of lard."
Willow: "I love the crispy-grease-salt layer at the bottom of the crust!"
Adam: "Tastes like Texas Toast."
Tom's Pizza and Pub
Also well under their own estimate of 45 minutes was Tom's Pizza and Pub, arriving in 29 minutes and 35 seconds. We were initially excited that a local pizzeria wasn't too far behind the national chain.
In the battle of flavor however, Tom's Pizza and Pub was decimated with an average score of just 2.42. Being rated so low after all we had tried was Pizza hut speaks especially poorly of this pizza. Interestingly, the extra breadsticks we had to order were much better received, but not part of this study.
Brian: "A spicy scent, but a doughy crusty flour tasting crust."
Daniel: "This is the pizza version of bad Mexican food."
Steve: "It's a little too soft, but I like the thickness of the crust."
Willow: "Sick."
Eddy's Flatiron Pizza
Eddy's Flatiron Pizza was the Babe Ruth of estimating delivery time. They told us 35 to 40 minutes and it arrived at 36 minutes and 10 seconds. Respect.
Unfortunately, that was the last bit of respect Eddy's would be getting for the night, gaining only a 3.2 out of ten in the category of taste. While not the worst pizza of the night, it's still in the Very Bad category.
Steve: "The thin crust and square cut is novel, but it's too salty."
Adam: "Has the weirdest texture, a hard bottom and soft top. The flavor is salty and citrus."
Willow: "Very, very salty. The crust is like dust and the cheese is more sticky than anything else."
Pizza A Go Go
Pizza A Go Go? More like Pizza A No Show. While the pizza was within their estimated time frame of an hour to an hour and 15 minutes, waiting an hour and 13 minutes is just much too long to wait.
Personally I wasn't too surprised to find that Pizza A Go Go won in the flavor category, but I was surprised that they only barely beat out Pizza Hut with a 4.71 our of 10 rating. Clearly North Portland has a lot to learn about pizza.
Daniel: "This pizza is cold."
Brian: "The crust is toasted to the supreme, but there is a carbon flavor..."
Sarah: "Pleasantly oily, like olive oil instead of lard."
Additional Data
While a delivered pizza should be judged on taste and time, it's interesting to compare that data with some other numbers. By measuring several slices we determined the average weight of a slice from each pizzeria, and then based on the price determined the cost per ounce.
| Pizzeria | Taste | Cost | Size | Weight (Slice) | Speed |
| Pizza A Go Go | 4.71/10 | $0.48/oz | 19" | 4.25oz | 73m |
| Pizza Hut | 4.45/10 | $0.59/oz | 10" | 2.8oz | 20m |
| Eddy's Flatiron Pizza | 3.2/10 | $0.37/oz | 14" | 4.6oz* | 36m |
| Tom's Pizza and Pub | 2.42/10 | $0.34/oz | 13.5" | 6.35oz | 30m |
(*Eddy's pizza was cut into 16 smaller squares, so we used two squares to make one slice)
Conclusion
North Portland has some of the best food in Portland, and so it's with disappointment that we can recommend no pizza for delivery in this quadrant. I'm sure that people will attempt to refute our findings and we welcome the discourse, because it's a sad day when the only prospects for a delivered cheese pizza rate less than 5 out of 10. It is my hope that we missed some secret local pizzeria that is making great pizza and delivering it under an hour.
Next Up: The Northwest Quadrant, including local favorite Hot Lips and the haunted pies of Old Town Pizza.
Team North
The North Portland Pizza Tasting Team was a diverse and experienced group of pizza experts:
Steve Schroeder: "I find Personal Power through Pizza (and Tony Robbins)."
Daniel Peterson: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, eat two pizzas."
Adam Forkner: "I've never met a pizza I didn't eat."
Willow Wonder: "I love pizza."
Sarah Meadows: "The pizza! Definitely not you guys..."
Brian Slaughter: "One remains faithful to a pizza only because its toppings do not cease to be insipid."
Mike Merrill: "I eat pizza for breakfast."
yes finally...
i like salt. eddie's for the money is the best!
While I agree that Tom's and Eddy's both have crappy pizza (though FYI Toms' burgers are good and Eddy's makes some decent wings & meatball parm), to see Pizza Hut registering on the same scale- let alone within a point of- Pizza a Go Go in the taste department makes me suspect your testers' pizza heritage/bona fides...
But testing delivery only was cool.
Also FYI -word on the street is that the PaGG/Bella Facia people are opening a joint in Kenton soon- those north of Lombard rejoice (if they decide to do delivery at least).
as one of the testers, I would like to agree with you likewaterbaby, I was somewhat shamed to be part of a test that ranked pizza hut so highly.
it's garbage pizza!
Well I might have skewed the reults a bit by giving the Hut an 8 of 10. I love love love love love Pizza Hut!!!! Always have! Always will!!!!!!!!
I reviewd Pizza a Go Go for WW once. blah.
I want to point out that NONE of these got high ratings. Not a single slice earned even a 5 out of 10, and I would say that 5/10 is a bad pizza.
Dearest Willow, while I very much respect having an nostalgic affinity for certain pizza brands that come along with post-soccer game parties and the concept of the Hut maybe being a treat for a youngster, I have to protest the notion that you literally, in a world where all is equal, think that Pizza Hut tastes the best.
It is hard to break free from our notions, especially those tied in with something that has been present in our lives for all our lives.
But we are trying to accomplish SERIOUS SCIENCE here.
ps-COKE RULES 4 LIFE
what is bad pizza, though?
I think a 5/10 pizza is probably more awesome than a 6/10 burger, you know?
Even bad pizza is still pretty ruler.
Good point. We did eat all the pizza.
yeah no kidding
i bet no one said this is gross.
Well, Willow did say Tom's was "Sick."
Oooh, For NW, Pizza Oasis on Burnside and 22nd is soooo good. I used to go almost daily. They cook slices to order, which is so damned crazy that it works.
btw, you ate all the pizza and got progressively fuller and fuller, perhaps netting points for the fastest delivered/first eaten. Know what I mean?
We included Oasis in our NW installment! Thanks for the heads up!
Good point about arrival, but we had enough people that we only had one or sometimes two slices per pizza. While I was definitely full after the last one, I was still ready to eat when it arrived.
This is true, I was eager for pizza up into the very end. It was not until afterwards that true pizza coma descended upon me. And then we watched MTV Jams for a very long time.
And then the Russians came... with their magic and deadly egg. ;)
can we see the individual scores by each reviewer?
willow is suspect if pizza hut is an 8.
can we see the individual scores by each reviewer?
Individual scores are kept private to protect the judges from repercussions.
a gogo was just not very good, guys. hate to say it. the crust was the only pizza with classic burn spots, meaning that it had been cooked at a good hot temperature, and there was a nice texture to it, and it had cool bubbles in the crust and everything, but in the end the ingredients on top, namely the sauce and cheese, we just plain boring. i lived a block from these dudes for like a year and even though i love pizza with all of the passion left in my heart after 30 years of life, i barely ate there. cause their pizza is snores-ville. which is a shame. all of the other pizza's were absolute dog shit, pretty much. who ever heard of a pizza cut into squares?????? the middle pieces were just soppy cheese puddles and the other edges were saltines. pretty weak. not to say that i did not eat it. i never met a pizza i didn't eat.
What about the all important pizzametricsTM - mass per square inch, crust edge to filling area ratio and $ per taste rating unit?
yeah all of the pizzas from the independent places sucked. pizza a gogo was so god damn cheap! and by cheap i mean that they were cheap skates! made a wimp version of what you get when you go there for a slice. i guess they think that since you don't see what you are buying when you order they can use fewer ingredients and get away with it, what a bunch of punks! eddies and that other place had either shitty cheese or crust that tasted like cardboard. the only pizza i enjoyed was the pizzahut one.
yeah mikey, you collected allot of data. where are the pie charts?
Ok so...who would any of you say makes good pizza here in town?
pizza a gogo makes killer pizza if you get a slice there. i like just about any pizza when i get a slice at the place. i liked little caesars a lot when it was around.
Um yeah Mr.Mike, that was totally not my pizza quote. Somebody put words into my mouth when it should have been a slice of pizza.
Brian, you didn't say that? I could have swore you said that... hmmm... maybe it was someone else?
I Own Eddie's Flat Iron and this is the First I'm Hearing of this problem of my pizzas being overly salty. I eat them all the time and I guess it's just my way. I've Been Making Pizzas my Whole Life and so does my entire family so I take it seriously. The Square cut and super thin crust is Chicago style thin which is my heritage. No matter what I ALWAYS HAVE A 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE So I thought if there was any problems I would hear about it. Please try us let us Know. Eddie
I come from Chicago, and I have tried many pizzas out here with their "NW flavor". I do notlike most of them at all,in fact some places that I will not mention, gave me cases of gastric disturbances all night. There is either something in the NW pizza's ingredients that that leaves a bad flavor in my mouth,or the ingredients in their pizzas, do not leave me with a lasting impression.( I have tried 10 places) And anyone who can say that they can make a Chicago style pizza, and has never been to Chicago, nor tasted Chicago style pizzas,can not come close to making one. I have finally found a pizza that has true Chicago flavor. There is a place in Gresham that I have visited, that serves Chicago style pizza, as the owner came from Chicago.And more recently Eddies Flat Iron Pizza on Killingsworth,in Portland. The owner,also from the Chicago area. The pizzas at Eddies Flat Iron, speak Chicago Style. One of the traditions of Chicago style pizza is the thin, crispy crust. My favorite is the personal pizza. Since moving out here, I have longed for a great tasting Chicago style pizza, and Eddies Flat Iron is it. They also have great Italian Beef sandwiches too. I work right down the road from Eddies and have told many of my customers to try it. Many long time North Westerners here have welcomed the change of trying a great Chicago style pizza.
yeah eddie's!
Hey - I got one here to look for an Eddie's Flatiron menu. Damn. That'll be my first complaint about Eddie's though. After ordering from them maybe five times in the past six months (the only pizza delivery I've ordered in that time) I'm not about to change now. The stuff is refreshing. But instead of experimenting, cause I can't find a damn menu in my house or online, I'll have to order the usual. Oh well, the usual is good.
I Thank you very much for the business gabriel and eddiesflatironpizza.com is available and its not the best web site but the menu is on it. I hope to here from you trying something different. Thanks again. Eddie
Good News! Hot Lips is now in NE Portland AND they deliver. It's a spendy pie, but it arrived at my house in only 40 minutes, piping hot. Kick A**. http://www.hotlipspizza.com/pizza/index.html
i think you all should try wiz's in delavan, wi. the best hangout ever....
i think you all should try wiz's in delavan, wi. the best hangout ever....
Whose writing about wiz's??