November 30, 2006 (0) Comments

The NYDN publishes a profile in memoriam of Sean Bell, the unarmed 23-year-old in Queens who was murdered by undercover police the day before his wedding. Meanwhile, Amnesty International puts a word in, and Angela just forwarded this email about a petition for an independent review by Color of Change. Please sign it.

November 29, 2006 (0) Comments

Chicana poet Lorna Dee Cervantes has a blog. (Via Ana Castillo.) She's an amazing writer just on the day-to-day. Her voice is familiar, in the root of the word -- familial. She writes,

"If you know me you know that I'm a lifetime non-driver. I decided that it was something I could do in my lifetime, never drive, for El Mundo's sake. El Mundo, which is about as close to a concept of "God" as I can fathom. La Gaia. Ya. So I know enough about driving to get someone to the hospital if need be, but that's about it. And get a car with a stick shift started. Otherwise, cars just aren't part of my culture. Talk about feeling like an alien. Or feeling in exile in one's own homeland. Ahem."

Instant like!

November 28, 2006 (2) Comments

Considering I always listen to "Survivor" as inspiration during my long hours of playing Neverwinter Nights 2, the creation of this Destiny's Child game is so no doy. And yet the description -- "'Destiny's Child Groove' will take the form of a back-and-forth dance battle in which users compete against A.I. characters" -- sounds both terrifying and amazing, especially after me and Brendan killed that live action "Police 911" joint (aka "The Keisatsukan Shinjuku 24ji"), which actually tracks you with sensors as you duck and shoot.

But A.I. opponents? This is all becoming a little bit too reality-based. And yet I'm strangely intrigued... Is my dancefloor game fierce enough to beat an IMMORTAL FOE?!

November 28, 2006 (1) Comments

Friendly reminder to pick up the best rap album of the year, which dropped approximately 12 hours ago. The art is off the charts, id est:

"Sell Bolivian.
Feds in oblivion.
Bitch Brazilian.
Purse reptilian.
Took it from far-off island like Gilligan."

(from "Trill")

November 27, 2006 (0) Comments

What is it with these particular Swedish / French dudes' impulses to remix american R&B artists into schmaltzy disco or retro '80s pop? I realize treble might make more sense than bass in the EU's chillier and hillier topographies (Dave Tompkins might attribute that to the lack of paleozoic detritus deep in the ice floes). But to paraphrase our mans in his old Phrenology review (graff 5, last sentence), electro without bass is an empty threat. Plus I'm real mad at that Fred Flax Alain Floxx remix of "Bossy" because I feel like it robbed the song of its essential Kelis-ness -- it removed the gravity of her words and turned the pants-wearer of the Rogers-Jones union into just another playful, carefree dancefloor dancer. More Bordeaux than boardroom and that ain't the point. Plus those synths are WAY too " Hotel Gansevoort rooftop" for my digging. REVISIONISM!

November 27, 2006 (1) Comments

Mayor Bloomberg on Sean Bell, the unarmed 23-year-old who was murdered by undercover cops in Queens on the night before his wedding day (the police unloaded FIFTY rounds into the car Bell was driving with two friends):

"Clearly they were victims, and at the moment, from what I know, there is no evidence whatsoever that they were doing anything wrong," Bloomberg said. "Period."

November 27, 2006 (21) Comments

Pete Macia writes:
"there was just a network news story on a white girl getting famous on youtube pretending to be a chola. she was busted because her mole moved and changed size. and sad girl from mi vida loca is doing a documentary on her. i'm fucking confused, shep. i really am."

November 26, 2006 (0) Comments

La Consuela called tonight to report on the grown-ass Cameo/Angie Stone show at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland, OR: "They had a buffet! Angie was great. She looks so good from going on Celebrity Fit Club, but she still has an ass you could mix a drink on top of. Cameo was bad, though... Larry Blackmon's band was trying to be all P-Funk, but that shit was B-Funk. No one was trying to hear any new Cameo; they just wanna hear 'Word Up' and 'Candy' and leave. Plus, girl, he was wearing the RED CODPIECE!!!"

November 25, 2006 (1) Comments

I am currently listening to DJ Cameo's most recent UK garage show on Radio 1xtra, where the typical playlist is way more grimier (no pun) than any music I have ever heard in my life, perhaps barring modern British dubstep (which sounds like drowning in 2094). And I decided that if I were a grime MC my name would be Mizz Face Wrecker. In fact if I am ever in London please only refer to me as that.

Right now I'm psychically melting over this song "Different World" by 3face, Wretch 32, NJ, Nolay, Scorcher, and Tinchy Stryder. It is produced by Black Jack, who is apparently running the beats game in UK grime; for this song, he has sampled the Four Tops' "A Different World" and severed it with sub-bass. Oh shit then there is the Gully Gang's "He's Back (f. Ribz and Flirta D)" which is fucking crazytowne EU and makes half these fake US gangstas sound like the popsicle man in the bolo tie at Disney World's Main Street. These dudes are rapping "IM HUNGRY AND I JUST ATE" over some like wild fiddler, clockwork orange street beat. = FANGS.

Why don't I listen to this stuff more often?! WHY?!?!

November 23, 2006 (0) Comments

I was googling "Gwen Stefani" and "chola," looking for funny shit to put in Pete's myspace comments, when I rediscovered Gwenihana.blogspot.com. 2005... what a year. Also hit upon a beautiful and hilarious poem by Reyes Cardenas about Gwen's infamous ripping-La-Virgen's-image-in-half nightmare in the "Luxurious" video. He writes:

"La Gwen es tan pendeja
but I love the little bitch
Henry laughs"

I, too, am fascinated by how she can be so brazen and so unaware of it. Of course I am obsessed with The Sweet Escape, which is a great album about the super-cute new LAMB/BBC charm dangling from her RZRPHONE.

November 23, 2006 (0) Comments

I'm no cheerleader for synthetic drugs (or their manufacturers) but word to Gardasil, the HPV vaccine. The commercials just hit the boob tube and I find them curiously uplifting--especially the part at the end with the girls double-dutch rhyming "one less" and laughing happily, their bleak futures of cervical cancer and genital warts now relegated to history's annals (assuming Gardasil is actually affordable). Plus, that's our friend Kaki on the drums!

you can't get hpv from kissing... cheeks

November 23, 2006 (0) Comments

Shout to Ms. O'Day, feminist rebel of the swing set: RIP.

Anita O'Day means nothing to me for her scatting. But she means a lot to me for her slanguistics: she gave my tio July a name. He was an Escobedo by birth, the eldest of my mom's sisters and brothers. During WWII, he enlisted; some of his Mexican friends were changing their last names to avoid the vagaries of racial prejudice (aka to avoid getting stuck with the shit missions) and they advised him to do the same. (There is also the possibility that he was legal like Ugly Betty's dad -- which is to say not at all -- considering he was born, you know, elsewhere.) But anyway, my tio is/was a mestizo light enough that he could pass, so he foresook Escobedo and took O'Day after his favorite singer Anita.

O'Day. You know, short, concise, doesn't sound Spanish. To this day my entire family refers to him jokingly as "our Irish Uncle Joe." He married a white woman who looked a little bit like Anita, too. She also constantly referred to my grandmother Guadalupe as "Mary." (Unless you're Juan Diego, that's not a direct translation.) But now I'm airing out the family bizzness and I better stfu before one of my cousins hears about it.

RIP Anita O'Day.

This book, about how WWII affected Mexican-American civil rights, looks very interesting. "Neither dogs nor Mexicans." Classy.

November 21, 2006 (1) Comments

This guy is a grade-A racist d-bag, and as far as I'm concerned Seinfeld's response is no better. Fuck a Seinfeld rerun -- these guys are over.

The don of Gabe Said We're Into Movements dot blogspot dot com points out this incisive and "sadly pertinent" Seinfeld parody from an actually-funny show, In Living Color.

November 20, 2006 (2) Comments

"Thirty-something rapper in the house. Just passed him downstairs."
"What's he wearing?"
"Salmon-colored vest."

November 20, 2006 (5) Comments

bushprincess_29@hotmail.com writes:

what the hell is this website???? Cowboys and bloody poodles dont go
together!!!! Poodles are for city slickers and Cowboys are well, Cowboys.
they are country boys not city slickers.
Please explain. . . .

This is a very good point and, as the webmistress and editor of this website, I can definitely answer your question. The phrase "Cowboyz & Poodles" is derived from a thrift store in Berlin, Germany, so named as a throwback to the olden days (the '80s) when sophisticated, pop-art cowboy fashion was all the rage (c.f. Cowboy Curtis, Annie Potts). I borrowed "Cowboyz & Poodles" for my blog title not because I particularly like cowboys or poodles, but because it appropriately demonstrates the oxymorons I live each and every day, i.e. "urban cowgirl," "anglo mexican," "graceful klutz," and many more. I was born in Wyoming, where many cowboyz (s) live, and yet in my capacity as a transplanted New Yorker I am froufy and fluffy and groomed -- not unlike a poodle. And so, in effect, I am celebrating diversity: elated that I live in a world where I can be country and city at the same time.

Thanks for reading,
j. escobedo shepherd
brooklyn, new york

November 17, 2006 (2) Comments

Regarding Jay-Z as "Black Republican," and my recent Pitchfork column, Barton Bishop wrote a very interesting letter:

Loved your last column in Pitchfork.
Am also strangely obsessed with "Wind It Up."
Though - And I could be going out on the wrong limb here, but - perhaps the "Black Republican" Jay-Z refers to isn't the modern-day type, but rather the original "Black Republicans." That was the nickname given to the newly formed abolitionist Republican party back in the day by Pro-Slavery Supporters, a take-off of Europe's "Red Republican" revolutionaries.

Barton Bishop
Astoria, NY

I cannot confirm or deny, but I wouldn't be surprised if Jay went that deep with it. Thoughts?
Also, I am thrilled to have such intelligent history-steeped people reading my column, which I just realized has an inordinate amount of cursing this time around. The word "FUCK" as expression of joy. Wash out my mouth.

November 13, 2006 (1) Comments

I was once stuck in a K-Hole for three days that was strikingly similar to this video

November 10, 2006 (2) Comments

Last week, two days before the Britney breakup announcement, I had the opportunity (???) to sit down with Kevin Federline and discuss his new album, Playing With Fire. Excerpt is as follows:

KFed: The album is here to stay. Have you heard it?

JShep: I have. I've been listening to it all day today.

KFed: What do you think?

JShep: ...I think you have a really good sense for beats. You're really going for it…

KFed: Going hard!

November 10, 2006 (1) Comments

November 10, 2006 (0) Comments

Maybe it's the return to a Democratic congress and our girl's AMAZING CORRESPONDING OUTFIT, but this video is all I feel like today (word to Will C)

My mom recently mailed me the gigantic peace-sign chain I rocked in the early '90s -- she found it in a drawer -- I might have to break it out for the occassion.

and this

and, for the sake of being thorough,

There's just something interminably badass about an EKG monitor.

November 9, 2006 (8) Comments

spoiler alert

Last night's Lost was sufficiently dramatic, and I was glad to see Sawyer and Kate finally taking it to the boneyard.

November 9, 2006 (1) Comments

In NYC, held by Pan American Musical Art Research. Lotsa bourgie-bourge stuff going on for this -- Symphonic Mexico at Lincoln Center para example -- but some related events sound really interesting, such as the Limon Dance Company reprising classic pieces from the 1946 season at the Joyce, and tomorrow a release party for BKLYN ranchera pop band Pistolera at Joe's Pub.

There's also a decent show of Mexican printmakers at the International Print Center. The below is by Artemio Rodriguez, who is clearly awesome.

November 9, 2006 (0) Comments

I forgot to link to Ryan Dombal's Lil Wayne track review on La Horca, which slayed.

November 8, 2006 (5) Comments

p.s. This seems like as good a time as any to let you know that nigh every Saturday for the past four or five months, I have gone to the gym at 9 am for two hours of dancaerobics and strength classes with this excellent instructor E.G. who plays the best music, which is how I came to know I am kind of a morning person, and that I have an affinity for funky vocal house in the vein of Ultra Nate and well, I mean, the KLF.

TODAY, I FEEL LIKE LIL WAYNE!!!

okay and by dance aerobics i mean step aerobics

November 8, 2006 (0) Comments

I can honestly say that watching George Bush get shit-sonned on CNN by a gleeful press corps, with regards to the Democratic revolution and the shamed resignation of a disowned Rummy, was the happiest and most deeply satisfying hour I have had since approximately.... the moment on election day 2000 when I thought Gore was gonna sweep it on home, just before the Evil Empire began its devilish coup and I started mainlining escapist art and merlot.

Of course, it's so clear that Rumsfeld A. has to take the Shakespearean fall in our monarch's feeble attempt at face-saving and B. is scared fuckless that Nancy "watch ya crotch" Pelosi's finna investigate behind his balls and send his immoral ass packing to Guantanamo Bay, don't forget yr lunch. But still. Donald Rumsfeld, get the fuck out my house! YEAH!

November 8, 2006 (1) Comments

My pops is a lifelong Wyomingite and the best sociological gauge I have of the Republican party, Western division: he is a dyed-in-the-wool fiscal conservative. He is not socially conservative (though anyone who tries to tell you the fiscal and the social are seperable is perverse) but he is "cautious." Like most Wyomingites, he rides for rugged individualism and unshakable work ethic: small government, gun rights, and "get the hell off my lawn." This summer while I was visiting he called me and said, "Do you want to go to the rodeo, or are you still a tree-hugger?" And he voted Reagan, Bush, Bush, Bush, Bush, I'll tell you that much.

But today, on this glorious morning where Nancy "bitchslap a president" Pelosi is about to take the whole shit to church, I received this missive from my father:

"Yes, I voted. And you will never believe it but I voted mostly Democratic, too. So did Pam!"

(Pam being my father's long-term wife, a farm-raised Coloradoan, conservative-leaning but for an animal-rights soft spot.)

November 7, 2006 (2) Comments

Hits, misses, lost classics from the archive

STATS
TOPIC: Vocabulon: Slangtionary/Slangxicon, summer 2005. This is not a JSHEP exclusive; rather, it was written by a posse of slang-slangers (including self; see below) and I edited/compiled. (You can tell which ones were contributed by Connie because they all start with "dang")
WRITTEN FOR: Hit It Or Quit It Summer 2005
NEVER RAN BECAUSE: We had to make space for Matos' 17,000-word Hold Steady Q&A

VOCABULON (Glossary)

b’dang—onomatopaeia; to be super fly and casually sharp! You know, gurl, you are often b’danging yourself!
“Look at you in the new Adidas sweatsuit. B’dang!”

badracula—a combination of bananas and dracula. So bananas it will bite you? Do these things even need definitions anymore?

Beyonce'd—to be crazy in love.
“Dang girl, you just met him! You are already Beyonce'd?!”

bandanas—When wack people go bananas in their own wack way.
"How was the Modest Mouse concert at the Tweeter Center?"
"Man, there were all these frat dudes bonging peach wine coolers in the parking lot. It was bandanas."

bozomatli (plural)—inseparable group of grown men who dress and act like nine-year-olds.
"Every time I walk to 7-11 I gotta push through bozomatli chest-bumping over their PSP’s."

challahtronix—when mash-up DJs rep hard for Judaism.
“Did you hear the DJ drop Hasidic New Wave over that Matisyahu b-side? Shit was straight challahtronix!

chimple—chin dimple.
“Dang, I love Tony Parker and his chimple.”

cooz-bruise–any injury related to the vaginal area. (The male equivalent is called “Double Trouble).”
“My new lowrider trike is binoculars, but the banana seat totally gives me cooz-bruise.”

"doctor and mrs. ___________"—extremely focused.
1)"Not to be all Dr. and Mrs. Scenester, but I am not going to that show unless I am on the list.”
2) “I tried to pick up Maggie Gyllenhall in the dressing room at H&M, because this is the summer of Dr. and Mrs. Steady Ballin'."

fauxner—1) Being way too into one ironic item.
"Gary's got such a fauxner for monster truck t-shirts. He's really got to cool it."

2) When someone is so not sexually appealing that they become, paradoxically, desirable.
"Picturing Linda Ronstadt in 1979 eating a salad gives me a fauxner."

garden of sin—popular sandwich of Portland, Ore.: a garden burger w/cheese and bacon.
“I totally thought Beth was vegan ‘til I saw her at the Roxy mowing down a garden of sin."

gimp juice—the ability to get laid even though you are basically retarded.
"I can't believe you took home the bass player from the Walkmen when you had hot sauce all over your shirt. That's some gimp juice."

hangbangers— youth collective known for tireless loitering and tuff talk ("Let me get some Slurpee ‘fore I shoot you, bitch.") in the absence of authority figures.
"Dudes be hangbangin' on ILM until Chuck Eddy joins a thread. Then it's all backstage at an Usher show."

Phil—when a person grinds on something after hating on it forever, a la Phil Jackson.
"Tina's being a total Phil with all the MySpace bulletins. I was already avoiding MyStalkers when she was still soliciting Friendster testimonials."

prominent bookmark—boner.
“My, that’s a prominent bookmark you have.”

ridonkabasketball—incomprehensibly beyond control.
“Fatman Scoop with bronchitis, a WaterPik and a megaphone is ridonkabasketball!”

skeetarded—reminiscent of the first time a person embarked on a round of skee ball with a person of lesser intellectual capacity; balls whiz, minds are blown.
“This goldarn Diplo remix is so skeetarded, it makes me want to take him to Chuck E. Cheese.”

true Garfield—deep pig-out eater.
“I can’t believe I ate the whole box of corndogs. I am a true Garfield!”

vocabulonarians: j-shep, jessica, miles, shayla hason, arlie carstens, sean fennessey, cali dewitt, connie wohn, peter macia

November 7, 2006 (1) Comments

West Coasting braintrust Jeff Chang sends an important and useful missive RE: Election Day:

"Just a quick reminder to head out to the polls or turn in your absentee
ballots today. This has all the markings of a historic election.

Some important election resources for you...

1. Polling Place Information

2. Hip-Hop Voter Guides (done by and for hip-hop voters, including most states and many cities)

3. News on Grassroots Hip-Hop Voter Campaigns

Also, check the Pop and Politics website for information on a report that dispels the myth of young people's apathy once and for all. It's a must-read for all progressives."
***

As for me, I haven't felt this optimistic since Election Day 2004. Of course, the day after I wanted to kill myself and/or expatriate, and once bitten twice shy, non? But still... I'm holding onto the notion that many Republicans across the country want to see a regime change, too. Fingers crossed.

November 6, 2006 (1) Comments

This is the first in a series of lost classics and comedic "triumphs" from my back catalogue, w/extra special thanks to Stunna B!

STATS
TOPIC: El-P's Style Transformation, April 2006 -- when El-P was breaking out in like, super-premium acid wash jean jackets and aviators all of a sudden
WRITTEN FOR: The Fader
PITCHED/ ASSIGNED: assigned
NEVER RAN BECAUSE: The original photo shoot was bunk, and El-P wouldn't agree to a do-over because he thought the whole idea [a fashion piece on El-P] was ridiculous in the first place. We had a pretty good heart-to-heart about it, though, which manifested in the following:

From Co-Flow to solo, El-P has been the redheaded rapper rocking an extra-large hoodie, an airbrushed trucker and a clean-shaven skull. But sometime after his 30th birthday, the Def Jux presidente chucked the caps and sweatshirts in favor of snug pants, a fanciful cashmere Hugo Boss topcoat, and a mane of actual hair, in the form of a Morrissey-grade pompadour. He explains his transformation as follows: “There’s something about dressing like a 16-year-old hip-hop kid that is the inverse of casual. But I’m not adult contemporary or anything. And I noticed that more females are coming to my shows. For that fact alone, I’m just gonna keep rolling like I am.”

The hair remains the most transformative -- and symbolic -- development for El. “At a certain point I looked in the mirror and realized that I was a white guy, and that I didn’t have to shave my head all the time… that I could have hair. That was okay. There’s this thing with white rappers -- we just don’t wanna have hair, because for some reason it looks too white. I just stopped being afraid of looking white. Because that is what I am,” he muses. For awhile, the streets were all atitter about his hairdo; friends and colleagues were calling to ask what was behind the new coif. El found the attention tiresome, and reacted by clipping it back again. “It’s a whole phenomenon now. It’s like, if someone has hair now it means their music is different. I’m just like, ‘Blow me. Listen to my record,’" he notes.

And while it's practically mandatory for inveterate rappers/ label heads to stay crispy, El-P is doing his part to keep Brooklyn chancleta-free. “I’m not walking around wearing blazers and sandals and shit,” El stresses, “but I was like, 'Why am I wearing jeans that are three sizes two big for me? Being an artist, I really fucking hate looking like other people, but there’s this weird thing in hip-hop where everyone really wants to just look like each other, and I’m not particularly interested in that. I don’t have any crazy style thing; I just started dressing like an adult. I feel like it suits me better, instead of being the fat guy who looks angry.” —Julianne Shepherd

November 6, 2006 (1) Comments

it's nice to know even Lily Allen thought "Take What You Take," off her own album, was shite, cause it was. I otherwise liked Alright, Still very much, but "Take What You Take" sounded like my soon-to-be-ex-roommate's Anglo-boner for Virgin Radio.

Lily Allen: Well, I wanted "Cheryl Tweedy" and "Absolutely Nothing" to be on the album instead of "Take What You Take," because I fucking hate that song more than anything in the world. It was the one thing the record company…they said the Robbie Williams market would like it.

Lily Allen: I don't even know. Like, middle-of-the-road record buyers?

November 6, 2006 (0) Comments

posse-4-lifer micah m. has bestowed upon us the mantra of a lifetime: "If you don't rap, DON'T RAP." thank you and good morning!

November 3, 2006 (1) Comments

Is this a weak backpedal, or is Kanye just a sloppy drunk? I'm sorry, I don't care how many canyons you freaked, you cannot use the "I was wasted" excuse on live international television.

November 3, 2006 (1) Comments

RIP Adrienne Shelly, underrated ingenue of '90s indie films.
So sad.
Trust was one of my favorite love stories when I was wee: its cynical sweetness, and her character as a detached misfit, had a huge impact on my nascent existentialism (ha).

I would also like to mention that Hal Hartley's directoral tactics clearly influenced the speed-acting style of Gilmore Girls.

Glad Martin Donovan still gets (got?) work.

November 1, 2006 (0) Comments

Just in time for Dia de los Muertos, Nick has pointed out Weezy's proclivity for America's favorite acid-slangers. SOOOOO CUTE!