December 31, 2005 (1) Comments

Sen Charles Schumer lives in a fancy ass joint overlooking Prospect Park, as Brooklynites probably know cause he trots out his BKLYN4LIFE tattoo whenever possible, kinda like when Bloomberg gets all self-righteous bout riding the subway (/walking across the BKLYN bridge) cause it makes him a Real New Yorker (and it's a nice way to distract from the 50 gazillion dollars he donated to GWBUSH BUT IT's NOT WORKING, I STILL SEE YOU! TRYING TO BE MARTY MARKOWITZ & STUFF)
So anyway there's this 22-foot modernist menorah (mad angular) in Grand Army Plaza right now, and as I emerged from the woods on my chilly-ass jog yesterday, Schumer himself was there on a mic singing (pitch a little shaky, but the baritone was nice & meaty) the appropriate menorah-lighting songs (of which I do not know the titles) while this other dude in a crane with a keyspan worker (in full flourescent workvest regalia) lit the candles. I wanted to go thank him, not for the job he's doing per se, but because someone always answers the phone whenever I call his office. (In contrast, Hillary's constituent-line often puts me straight to voice mail/ "all circuits are busy."). But it felt inappropriate to approach him during a religious ceremony. Also, I was returning from a jog, and was sweaty and gross. THAT IS MY STORY. HAPPY CHANUKAH!

December 31, 2005 (0) Comments

Alex: "Julianne, have I told you about the Swishahouse drinking game? You drink every time someone says 'Mike Jones,' Mike Jones' phone number, candy paint, ice grills, wood grain, drank, dro, syrup, or anything having to do with a Cadillac."

December 30, 2005 (4) Comments

"i'm in luv with a stripper" is an absolutely depressing odyssey, insofar that t-pain is dropping this great gossamer fantasy-ballad for this woman ("body of a goddess") who is clearly descending from a pole in stripclub slo-mo, like wim wenders (/hype williams) directed her, a pedestalized angel from above, highly stylized, and glossed up w/baby oil or something. but t-pain falls for it, the oiled-up camera trickery, mesmerized by this one shot. he is mesmerized (/"in luv") because he is clearly lonely, to be in luv with a woman he doesn't even know. (or the character is lonely--apparently the real t-pain is married to the woman he wrote "i'm sprung" about). i picture him (his character) in the strip club, three tequilas in, blubbering to Mike Jones (who has accompanied him on this particular strip club excursion), "i'm so in luv with that stripper over there." Mike is not drunk, he is absentmindedly going "yeah she cool, check out her ass" or something, but he doesn't get it. t-pain is beer-goggled, alone, and probably not fetishizing her naked body qua naked body so much as he is fetishizing the life he wants to build from luv (not love) with her ("i'm not goin nowhere girl/ i'm stayin"). However, because he is, at present, emotionally stunted (either via life-hardship or BNRZ), he cannot relate to her in any way other than how well she wine it down the pole. So he vocodors the shit out, plays a luv song in his mind (with a ballady gtr in bckgrnd), we are totally swept away by his (terribly) self-coined "hard & B" which is the audio equivalent of eating cotton candy while floating through clouds--not empty, but surreal. t-pain is the loveless of hard n b.

or maybe it's just this one-minute dude visual sexuality shit and i am reading too much into it, under the HEFTY INFLUENCE OF QUANTUM PHYSICS!!!

December 30, 2005 (0) Comments

READING THIS ARTICLE IS LIKE LISTENING TO T-PAIN'S "IN LUV WITH A STRIPPA"= IT IS GREAT AND IT IS CONFOUNDING. YOU ARE TOTALLY ENAMORED OF IT, EVEN THOUGH IT IS COMPLICATED AND YOU DO NOT ENTIRELY UNDERSTAND

NOW READ IT THROUGH A VOCODOR

Vocodors and teleportation devices = the look in '06

December 30, 2005 (0) Comments

Pete Macia, on my sense of interior decor:

"I like your room because it looks like a 14-year-old lives here. A really smart 14-year-old."
"Is it the Omarion paraphernalia or the stacks of teen magazines?"
"It's mostly just the T.I. poster."

December 28, 2005 (0) Comments

Halfway through our phone conversation, mapping the day, that the bus would deliver Pete from our nation's capital to East Broadway, and that I would take the train and meet him, he appealed to me, "I must find a shop to buy gold fronts."
"Cheap ones or expensive ones?"
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"Any kind."
"I got you from plastic to platinum."

I have now viewed the entire first season of Lost. What I like about it: Allegory. Fantasy. Written by comic-book fans. References bits of philosophy, of math, books and pop culture (is Walt the reincarnation of that kid from Twilight Zone: the Movie? the writers are fellow nerds of the right age, methinks yes)--but it's also creating its own mythology, its own archetypes even, conjured as the show unfolds. The writers complicate the story by using simple, broad elements (like the hatch) and letting the characters react--it's great mystery writing. Great character development. Great conflict resolution. Plus, who doesn't love exploring the time-tested friction/overlap between science and magic, between reason and faith. Or government and god. I haven't read any of the Lost fanblogs--well, maybe I've snuck peeks at Flight 815-- so surely you've heard this already, but this is my initial impression of it.

Now if any of you Lost fanatic/math geniuses would tell me 'bout the godforsaken numbers, I would be pumped.

In other news, I am thrilled to be panelizing at the Center for New Words Women, Action and the Media Conference at MIT in Cambridge at the end of March--keynote speakers Maria Hinojosa, Farai Chideya, and Caryl Rivers!!--generally diagnosing what it means to be feminist and politically engaged journalists in 2006. My panel is called "Beyond Bust and Bitch: Feminists in the Mainstream Media," during which I believe I will be talking with fellow feminist writers, including Marisa Meltzer, Kara Jesella, and Rebecca Davis, about applied feminism in the mainstream media.

At its most basic level, this means that I discussed "Wait: the Whisper Song" approx. 472 1/2 times in 2005. At its broadest, it means that in the wake of the third wave and the era of Alito and Dowd, we existed uncomfortably like bacteria, attached ourselves to any buoy we could find, and fought with our minds. Sign up now, the panel roster is inspiring nine-million.

p.s. how amazing is caryl rivers' photo? I want to take a series of contributor photos holding nothing but ancient office equipment.

December 27, 2005 (0) Comments

The awesomely hologramic Diplomats belt buckle i received from chris nelson as a christmas gift not only represents "diplomatic immunity vol. 1," but also "diplomatic immunity vol. 2."

Christmas. The most complicated time of the year.

Enraged and Engaged: The Women's Campaign to Defeat Alito, as organized by NOW.

December 27, 2005 (0) Comments

my last year's ballot
the year before

Dear Julianne Shepherd:

Thank you for your submission - your votes have been recorded.

Your Pazz & Jop albums ballot was submitted as follows:

1. Mary J. Blige - The Breakthrough - Matriarch/Geffen (5)
2. Sleater-Kinney - The Woods - Sub Pop (5)
3. Clinton Sparks & the Clipse/RE-Up Gang - We Got it 4 Cheap v. 2 -
mixtape (30)
4. The Illegible DJ Caps & Pandemonium Jones - Moving in Stereo -
self-released (30)
5. Rod Lee - The Official Volume 5 - Morphius (5)
6. BARR - Beyond Reinforced Jewel Case - 5RC/KRS (5)
7. Keyshia Cole - The Way it Is - A&M (5)
8. The Joggers - With a Cape and a Cane - Startime (5)
9. MIA - Arular - XL (5)
10. Damian "JUNIOR GONG" Marley - Welcome to Jamrock - Tuff Gong (5)

Your Pazz & Jop singles ballot was submitted as follows:

1. Ciara f. Ludacris - Oh - La Face
2. Young Jeezy f. Jay-Z & Fat Joe - Go Crazy (Remix) - Def Jam
3. MJB da MVP - Mary J. Blige - Matriarch/Geffen
4. Three 6 Mafia, Young Buck, 8Ball & MJG - Stay Fly - Sony
5. Foxy Brown f. Sizzla - Come Fly with Me - Def Jam
6. Amel Larrieux - For Real - Blisslife
7. The Legendary KO & Dem Knockout Boyz - George Bush Doesn't Care
About Black People - internet
8. Mike Jones, Slim Thug & Paul Wall - Still Tippin' - Warner's
9. Psapp - Cosy in the Rocket - Hollywood
10. Ne-Yo f. Peedi - Stay - Def Jam

December 22, 2005 (4) Comments

i lost the best-of lists i'd been compiling for 10 mos. in the great computer explosion of october 2005, RIP "bebe del cerebro." In true OCD form, I recently tried to approximate them. I know I'm forgetting songs, and I dislike the hierarchal nature of yr-end lists, but can confidently say the first nine are the most important in RE: execution, pleasure, aesthetic whatevs-dot-gov / having great significance / emotional and physical impact in my wrld, if not in The World.

i am having a real problem choosing a number 10.

top ten albums '05 coming soon.

BUOYS, IN SONG FORM.

1. “OH” Ciara f. Ludacris
2. “Go Crazy (Remix)” Young Jeezy, Jay-Z ("I SPRAY LLAMAS"), Fat Joe
3. “MJB da MVP (Hate it or Love it)” – Mary J. Blige
4. “Stay Fly” Three6mafia and the entire population of TN
5. "thought you had my back this time" keyshia cole
6. "for real" amel larrieaux
7. "george bush doesn't care about black people" the legendary k.o.
8. “Stay” Ne-Yo f. Peedi
9. “Still Tippin’” slim thug paul wall mike jones

10. TIE:
"love" keyshia cole
"these words (i love you i love you)" natasha bedingfield
“Baby Mama Drama” J-Shin [UHHHH--JUST SAW VIDEO, PROCESSING]
“put that pussy on me (diplo remix)” Spank Rock (money studies) [FUCK STICK?!]
"on the face of it" the evens
"come fly with me" foxy brown f. sizzla
“Check on Me’ destiny’s child (beyonce) + slim thug
"Tuerie" Diams feat. Jacky Brown !!!!!
"ziggurat traffic" the joggers
that one jadakiss freestyle where he's like "my favorite crack spot/is protools on my laptop"
"grey goose" young jeezy DO I KNOW YOU? NO.
tracks 1-16 from jamie foxx's "unpredictable"
“Random” Lady Sovereign (Menta original mix)
"georgia" ludacris field mobb
"wait the whisper song (Crut's hush up mix)" ying yang twinz, also crut
"bucky done gone" MIA
"kilo" ghostface killah f. raekwon
"firestarter" lil wayne & THE prodigy
"wayne explains his deal" lil wayne
"is she the reason" destiny's child
"get up on yr gangsta" teairra mari
"spirit ditties of no tone" / "SCREAM TEAM" deerhoof
"in love with a thug" sharissa & r kelly
"Amscaredica (the beautiful)"/ "can't tell cop from cab" - the make believe
"untouchable" bossman
"revolution" new england roses
"Love in Fear" the constantines
"rhythm" street gangland rhythms band 4 (reissue)
"outta control" 50/mobb deep (htrz: was prodigy's last best verse on "tick tock" by nas/prod/alchemist? pls engage)
"at chuhhh" unlocatable dominican ragga song on comp i cannot afford
"ligne de mire" la caution
"the fox"/"let's call it love" sleater-kinney
"i'm black" styles p
"all i need" amerie (yes more than 1 thing--not being contrarian for the sake of contrarianism, it's the bassline on the chorus that kills me)
common's "go"/"faithful"/"love is" as bell hooksian song cycle
"j'donne ca" kery james
"tu pum pum" johnny prez
"catching feelings" faith evans
"chemical reaction" spooky dance band
"get set (run the road edition)" kano, ghetto, big seac, demon & doctor
"can't hide from luv" mary j blige
paul wall "i got the internet goin nutz"
the paul wall / freeway "jernt of fire" i cannot remember its name
track one on the tarantula a.d. album
omarion "touch"
"shake it off" mariah carey
"ta-tu-tatay" paul kalkbrenner
"a good place (soft pink truth blow by blow mix)" grizzly bear
"whateva" remy martin
"arrete ta flute" rohff
"lighters up" lil kim
"get over you" faith evans
the "doing laundry" song, the "reclamative domesticity" song, the "i love my son so much i will explode" song, and the little brown jug song on kate bush's "aerial"
"on & on"/ "joY" missy elliott (yes joy, i don give a fuh)
"so high" jaguar wright
"mercy mercy pudding pie" the teeth
"marianne" arsenik + booba
Randy B “candy man”
animal collective "did you see the words"/"loch raven"
Paul wall "sittin sidewZy"
"kryptonite" those purple ribbon dudes
“93 Hardcore” Tandem
"shottaz" cam, juelz, sizzla
when did "down and out" come out? kon/cam? fuck it, that heartbreak shit carried into '05 "ponyskin louis? oh you fly, too/ yr a stewardess ma, i fly too"
"diamonds on my neck" smitty
"trap or die" young jeezinator
"2005 = shittiest year ever (hit it or quit it staff remix)" - helen hunt, gucci mane, goochie mane, ghostface, ghostface killah, joy bryant, valerie plame, lynne cheney, sandra day o'connor, southern states, pakistan, iraq, activists, the NBA, opera steve, pusha (as sponsored by lastnightsparties.com), privacy, avey tare, panda bear, geologist & deaken

"hustler's ambition" 50 cent

"devil's pie" - WHIG

"dance my pain away" - rod lee

December 21, 2005 (1) Comments

i am looking for a Dominican ragga song, it is called "At chuhhh... (ya estoy cansàa)" and I think it is by Demprha, Elian and Burrell, and it is on here and I do not want to spend 19 euros plus int;l shipping, but will if i have to, and i do not have soulseek because i am a mac person, and i cannot find it on the interweb, and if anyone can help me find this i would greatly appreciate it, and your reward will be niceness and the fact that you will hear the song, it is terrific and wonderful and has a chorus of sneezes and oh! woes will be gone!

December 21, 2005 (5) Comments

lunchtime thought: smart ppl point out that 2005 was the yr of the trap-anthem, but i think the look for '06 is less snow, more sugar. (assuming ghostface's fishscale keeps getting the release-date nudge). POURQUOI, you ask? PARCE QUE 2005 yielded beaucoup southern tracks analogizing "that candy" to actual candy: d4l's "laffy taffy," randy b's "candy man," K-Rab & BHI "bubble gum." ok that's only three, but really, how many licks does it take before we get to declare it "THE YEAR OF" something? the BHI track even references "laffy taffy." tell me if there are more.

hey remember when r. kelly wrote JS' "ICE CREAM," (love to the johnson sisters!) then shortly thereafter Neptunes wrote that amazing Kelis album about milkshakes sugar honey ice tea oh! R. KeLLY is america's premiere food sexaphorist, p.s., but as he spends more time fleshing out his narrative work, Pharrell "yr ass is like ______" Williams pulls up to the front on that tip.

Related: Philip James writes on our gov't; invokes diktat, orwell, and the kgb.

December 21, 2005 (0) Comments

Samberg related: Presumably you have also seen Episode One of "The 'Bu," aka the funniest video on the entire interweb.

December 17, 2005 (1) Comments

First things first: the Voice of Bahrain weighs in on my husband and his boys. Heroes, all.

Second. Happy birthday today to your favorite scientist's favorite example of Punctuated Equilibria, Nick Sylvester. Also happy birthday to Pete L'Official, who shares a birthday with Nick.

Thirdly, after some confusion with Mr. "George Clooney is my esse", I would like to clarify my stance on Syriana. First, it's an excellent film, depicts and unravels labyrinthine networks of middle east oil interests, international corpo greed-hounds, cultural misconceptions, Islamic jihad, and PEOPLE RUNNING THE FUCKING WORLD with no loyalties anywhere but to self and dollar. I haven't seen such a stark depiction/critique of a sitting government's ("fictional") inner workings since my top film of all time, Repentance, snuck out from behind the Iron Curtain mid-glasnost. (P.S. Fuck a dictatorship!! And that "god is not dead" noise too.)

But it's totally the Kidman clause: just cause George Spliffington Clooney grows a beard, pads the panza and takes a role that appears to expand his range within his "serious" facet does not mean his acting is so exceptional--he's solid, convincing, yes, but I was no more moved by his performance than, say, the performances by Nas and T-Boz in Belly (to borrow an example from a film i watched today--nas and t-boz are pretty terrific in belly, actually, and they're not even actors by profession, que tal.)

I also think selecting any one person as a focal point of SYRIANA diverges from its necessarily convoluted plot, adapted by director Stephen Gaghan from Robert Baer's account of Lebanon / Tehran dealings when he was in the CIA. (Read fascinating linked interview; quote: "I think what we're all talking about is, we all regret the end of the Cold War. In the Cold War, things were predictable, and you could have worked these things out.")

Shit is all over the place. My mind is scattered like ticker tape on Black Monday. The market is closed.

December 17, 2005 (1) Comments

* if you know where to get a good-sized molcajete for cheapish in brooklyn heights/surrounding/anywhere closer to boerum hill than sunset park (not trying to lug 90 lbs of volcanic rock on the bus), please holler a moi.

* "I know where the drugs is at. Staten Island. i gotta feel it in my soul!" yes, the new Mary J Blige is feeling like god's proof. Like seeing family after long absence. This is the work of a woman with a solid hearth: big hugs to Kendu. Also, I can get with this spate of vocodor-love in R&B/crunk'n'b (see first couple verses of MJB's i-ain't-had-no-daddy-around thurrapy joint "Father in You": "when yr wife is speaking, pay attention!" In tasteful amounts of that underwater vocal-FX box, like T-Pain grousing bout the dishes.)

Coulda done without the Bono guest spot, however, even though "One" is a classic--the Bono/MJB re-do comes off too "Senior Prom Theme Song": prefab triumph, fists up at mid-tempo.

December 16, 2005 (0) Comments

mary at xmas an apparition

December 15, 2005 (0) Comments

The Senate is at a tipping point on the Patriot Act and your voice is needed today. Republican opposition to the Patriot Act is growing and senators from both parties are on the verge of a filibuster.1 In just two days, 200,000 Americans signed our petition supporting the filibuster.

Senator Hillary Clinton
Phone: 202-224-4451

December 13, 2005 (0) Comments

Canal Saint Martin, Paris, France.
Dinner conversation.
Julian, interview subject, French, well versed in American culture. Flora, former fashion editor turned Parisian television host.

Julian: You know Curb Your Enthusiasm
Flora: Is that the slowed-down music you like?

December 11, 2005 (0) Comments

www dot catchdubs dot com

December 11, 2005 (0) Comments

joe faustin kelly sends this missive for y'all:

"Staisha's goin' away party TONIGHT at Towne Lounge!!!
Dj's, dancin, drinkin,druggin. Also, Britt from Spoon is playing his geetar and singing though our shit P.A..
Mass fun."

cross-promo: there is an interview between jessica and britt from spoon in the new hit it or quit it magazine, issue 18, available now from insound.com's zinestand.

December 9, 2005 (0) Comments

Paris, France. Day Five.