August 30, 2005 (0) Comments

crap, dudes, i meant "overwhelming morning... of news in the paper," but GRACIAS for the concern, faith evans mp3s ("what it dew, baby boo?" wonders snoop--who always gets so tender when he's spending time with r&b ladies), and general outpouring of love. i am fine! just over here on emotional overtime, nothing new 'bout that.

best thing i saw today:
cowboy-hatted, tanned'n'wrinkly man donning american flag as cape and "troops out now" buttons in union square, shouting thru megaphone about class war to a small crowd. he had me from the cowboy, but-- let's just say dude prolly won't win a spot in public office with his partiular approach. unfortunately. so like, mid-speech, another, younger man--who appears to be cowboy's partner in crime-- trots into the open-air proscenium, carrying his wee curly-headed 2-year-old above his head. baby's wearing a smaller am-flag as cape, his dad's making him oscillate in the air like Superkid, and, ventriloquizing a baby voice, shouts, "no more war! no more war!"

cowboy man continues quoting rothschild in relation to bush, i continue loving union square.

best thing i heard today:
the hip-hop history in the kanye west issue of the magazine: elizabeth mendez berry's FIRST PIECE ON POST AT TIME! way late on this particular issue--haven't even read it yet--but SO SO SO proud and thrilled. GO. ELIZABETH.!

August 29, 2005 (0) Comments

Overwhelming morning. Fixing on the singular to grasp the scope of it. Hence, the heart of our beloved Joan Didion. Read in silence, hold tight.

August 26, 2005 (2) Comments

alex procured paul wall's "i got the internet goin nutz" just now, it is on this mixtape, 'case you didn't know.
[(i'd hook you up but my internet uploadin' skills are broke. sorry if i'm not upholding my end of the social contract.)] modem intro, syncopated "info transfer sound" as bass, classic 808/(909? fuck) cowbell, and a bit of QWERTY keyboard typing on counterrhythm to affirm paul wall truly DOTH use the internet. the man, the chat, can thou deny? has any other rapper detailed the mundane physical action of the computer age thusly--"signing off the sidekick" etc?] also, our man, he's talking about his cache of chicas, but in reality he embodies the weird science anthony michael hall. Paul Wall, concocting hot monique and crystal from the ether of binary. So wonderfully nerdy.

--speaking of binary, as a reminder i am a charter member of team bell hooks, and all about enlarging the range of the fucking rapatrons (nee: rappers) beyond the binding dual roles of sensitacho*--especially the rapatrons who get famous and reflect/set/reflect/set examples. let the thug/pimp binary inflate into a script where everyone feels comfortable with ad-libbing.** some day i will tell you about my theory that young jeezy is the apocalyptic end-point of all this, in the same way crtny love is the final icon of rocknroll&--

but not today. the head, it is aching.

living room danceparty dj'ed by a's iTunes: baltimore club mix of "dora the explorer" theme song. "We played this at Scribble Jam because it says 'grab your backpack.'"

also from the iTunes: my kinda heartbreak advice. (gotta shake it off!)

another of my favorite writers on my favorite teen heartthrobs "TOUCH" IS MY JAM, i do admit

see grizzly man now. i spent the first hour wondering whether it was an elaborate werner herzog mockumentary/stunt: the subject, a grizzly bear "preservationist" of sorts called timmy treadwell (r.i.p.) is so absurd as to have been conjured. i mean, werner compares the glaciers of the alaskan peninsula to the complex crevices within his subject's fucking soul. you know?

* sensitacho = not a new addition to the taco bell menu, but the union of "sensitive + macho," a term coined by jessica r. hopper
** i realize this would require a complete and utter upheaval/revolution in american society that would probably leave the now-standing channels of music distribution in ruins, but a girl's gotta start somewhere.

August 26, 2005 (0) Comments

this is how we do... the 19th amendment. on the 85th anniversary of women's right to vote. today. someday i will tell you about growing up in "the equality state," the first state to give women the vote, and how it was part necessity, part ruse, and a failed attempt to lure some semblance of population... but not today. my head is aching. anyone know a cure for ocular migraines? the donnie darko vision thing is spiritually uplifting, but the whole "can't be in the presence of light" clause really slows my roll.

August 22, 2005 (1) Comments

i can tell eben has been in europe because currently his iTunes is playing Ilona Mitrecey, age:11 ans, whose video consists of animated cows, bumblebees and crocodiles. my francais stops being decent at about 5 or 6 ans, barely progressing past Magritte et merde, so I do not know exactly what it is about.

THE VIDEO FOR JERMAINE STEWART'S STRANGELY PUERILE FIRST-DATE ABSTINENCE ADVOCACY SONG: here. also a veritable treasure trove of old '70s-'80s funk/soul/disco videos… I know it's effed up, but the overwhelming lack of pitch correct was one of the first things I noticed. Has "Britneyization" tainted the nuanced delights of the flawed vocal?! (Answer: No.) Secondly, the back-up dancers in the video for german enactment of donna summer's "love to love u"--it's like will ferrell heading up the cheer team. donna is exacting her sensuous, orgasmic ways—or attempting as much, while sparkle motion, a clumsy chorus, stumbles through her gorgeous game. white leotards, pirouettes, foute turns and everything.

currently in phase two of operation: move. back in brooklyn though a bit displaced for the moment, but i have no beef with ebenezer's couch, in part because alex just busted into the living room and put my favorite talking heads song on the record player:

Hi yo I got plenty of time
Hi yo you got light in your eyes
And you’re standing here beside me
I love the passing of time
Never for money
Always for love
Cover up + say goodnight . . . say goodnight

d. byrne singing with rare polished corners, offering up his voice, humble in the face of trust and surrender: "love me til my heart stops, love me til i'm dead," the harmony trembles, but speaks no dread. he sings it like he knows it to be fact. The subtitle, "naive melody," revels in its own innocencia-- Its faith, its synth, the odd convergence of percussive instruments, they melt me. eben and i have been working out our OCD issues with it for about 22 1/2 hours straight. "ad nauseum," he says.

A note on a different sort of faith (and perhaps a different sort of melting, too): I stepped into a public argument last night in Union Square about the gaza evacuation-- started by a sole preacher carrying a book, norman finkelstein's beyond chutzpah, and swollen to 50 or more--men yelling about zionists defining borders by torah, others yelling about palestinians throwing rocks at tanks, still others mourning the settlements and constant displacement of peoples, your god, my god, "part of the land of israel given by god to the jews.” I myself am a land without a god, yet crossed myself on instinct-- seeking equilibrium, it was a fetal motion, a silent hello to my own past, La Virgen and before her, Tonantzin. A woman leaned into me and whispered, “It’s useless for us to argue, we aren’t there, we know nothing.”A hot-faced man, his white hair blowing about with his temper, screamed, "ANY PEOPLE WHOSE LAND IS OCCUPIED BY HOSTILE FORCES HAS THE RIGHT TO FIGHT AGAINST ITS OCCUPIERS," meaning Palestine, implying Iraq, though this he did not say outright.

The fellow with whom he argued, his face equally vehement, his conviction certain, screamed, "DID WE RETURN MANHATTAN TO THE NATIVE AMERICANS? DID WE RETURN TEXAS TO THE MEXICANS? NO! WE DID NOT!" meaning Israel, implying Iraq, though this he did not say outright.

Another man nearby, not nearly as indignant as either of the criers, shook his head and shufffled off, muttering, "Privilege, privilege, privilege..."

August 22, 2005 (3) Comments

When Phyllis Schafly--a woman who's most notorious for bringing down a lil' somethin something called "THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT!!"-- balks at your anti-woman stance, it might be time to cash in yr chips and say buenos noches, maria. I would post more but I am busy choking on my own bile.

August 18, 2005 (14) Comments

this will be rushed cause i'm in transition and cannot concentrate for more than 3 minutes, but i've just so much to say:

hola from la cabana caliente, or rather, the place in hell's kitchen where connie "mfing" wohn and i hang our hats for temporary. the hat is a kangol. we are inventing slang ("bounce" has become "be-younc'e," gigante has become "gigounc'e"--all variations on "beyonce'd" aka "crazy in love" as in " i saw ari from entourage in soho yesterday and i was straight beyonce'd!"). we are making moves. we are generally tearing up midtown and stretching on the green.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JOGGING IN CENTRAL PARK VS. JOGGING IN PROSPECT PARK: more celebrity jogger sightings. well, at least i think so.. when you're running past one another in opposite directions, it's tough to discern if the dude with the hot pink painters' cap and khaki running shorts is in FACT kevin bacon, or is merely kevin bacon IN THEORY. There are many IN THEORY celebrities in Central Park. In prospect park, the only celebrity i have a mild chance of running into is kris ex. Also, I miss my jogging friends from prospect park--the guy who jogs in a dashiki top in 990 degree humidity and yet laps me like seven times, each time his casual hellos breath intact; the other dude who yells at me to keep pushing, which i reluctantly appreciate; the two preteen kids who rollerblade holding hands almost every day at 2 pm and spit water on each other. I miss these people, and I am glad i do not live in manhattan permanently. brooklyn, i adore you.

marisa says jogging is a bourgie sport, even though my argument = it does not actually require any money for equipment. i am of the opinion that marisa is associating jogging with the bret easton ellis '80s, and that because it is basically free it should be revitalized/RE-ENVISIONED as a populist exercise. do you agree?

THINGS WE DID/PEOPLE WE MET

* ruvan's photoshow plus the Nigerian hip-hop show--where i got to meet Oke's mom, a crazy amazing woman who used to work for evil world money-lenders --THEE evil world money-lenders -- and quit to move back to nigeria and become a director of national finance/fighter of corruption. woman is fierce.

* designer dude who is silkscreening old guerilla faction / terrorist logos on his new shit--the SLA, the baader-meinhof, no weather underground cause "their logo sucked"--he was sensitive to its history and pertinence, could throw down on patriot act minutiae, but i am hardcore bumming on stamping that shit on haute couture for mucho dollares without context.

* rock & roll camp for girls written up by a woman who is simultaneously one of my favorite people and writers, lady MIZ Laura Sinagra.

*in the most amazing twist--connie and i, in the cab ride home at 5 am, we start talking to our cab driver, who tells us he is only in the states for awhile while he settles a lawsuit. that he's actually been living in china, a censored writer whose books deal with the anthropological and social origins of class struggle. he tells us if we go to this certain post office on the upper east side, ask for the peruvian lady named sylvia, she will give us a copy of his book. the censored one. then he's like, "i'll turn off the meter if you let me stop at the gas station and get some coffee." so we're totally fascinated by the guy--he sounds crazy in blogform, but we're savvy girls and not sketched out--his story is actually convincing.... so whatever, we go with him to the BP, meet the lady who works there--maricella--who our cab man knows well, then end up hanging out with him for like an hour, fare free, while he tells about living in china and teaching english and meeting his wife. despite the fact that he wouldn't answer certain of my questions--you know, "are you talking about mysticism, or are you offering hard anthropological evidence?"--my bullshit-o-meter was at a low rating. he believed himself, and it counted. mostly, i was just pumped we were kicking it with our cab driver at the gas station at like 5:30 in the morning: felt special and wild.

I am going to the post office on the upper east side to see if sylvia and the book exist, and will let you know how the story ends.

August 17, 2005 (5) Comments

how did we sleep on this ian svenonius article, about rock bands/rockism as a vestige of our economy? "Just as the rock group has been the most successful exponent of imperialism and capitalism overseas, it is also a key figure in real estate ventures inside the country."

i realize dude's half analyst/half situationist and a self-indicter who may indeed be glib, too, but still gotta take issue w/this:

"The only space in America now is cyber infinitude, to replace the ravaged "new world," hopelessly polluted after a few decades of mindless exploitation."

What makes dude think the class divide isn't being played out in "cyber infinitude," as well? the internet's a hollow vox populi 'til the god starts giving away computers free.

ps shayla keeps killing it, this one is the sweetest.

August 14, 2005 (4) Comments

there are things bout the girl you don't know she's been doin, these are the things that yr girl's been doin

look. lemme kick it to you like this: feminist readings of feminist music + 7 million PEOPLE! = hola, COMO ESTAS?!! still not as cool as jazzbo, but you know, as far as taking pride in the shit i put down, feel like big tyming it ok.

shayla posts visual updates on the beardness/not-beardishness of lil chiptronica du ENSEMBLE, BROKAW.

coming soon, if not now: 'best of chamillionaire" factsheet; the discreet charm of chamillionaire's dis "you can 106 and park... on my dick." also, a rant about new baby-jessica-style frontpager, this accutane zeitgeist, and how it harms women (plus they put ladies on depo provera and neglect to tell us that depo provera also compounds yr suicidal mindcryme), AND--further development on the HIT IT OR QUIT IT staff motto:

"kick out the journalisms, motherfucker!"

oh AND
realtime missives from the hell's kitchen cabana house, where i will fully be lamping with a pan flute.

oh oh AND
happy goddamn birthday to the warscribe. (the warscribe shall be invoicing you shortly.)

August 11, 2005 (7) Comments

Amount of time Chris R. and I spent parsing and/or tearing up at the thought of the "go crazy remix" by young jeezy, jay-z and fat joe aka the summer jam we've all been waiting for: entire train ride home

Jeezy's line, 'i'm so emotional i love my glock,' epic upholding of the thug-mug man-script, so fucking ARCHETYPAL, his technicolor gangster swing on blastro, and heartbreaking because of it. all in one tiny halfverse. jay-z talking about corpo creeps, how they are uncomfy with, but encouraging of, the words that make the dope boys go craaaaazy, and fat joe, what can i say? "they said my mind playin tricks on me/damnright/so i let out a half a clip on im." FAWK. it seems like new york all woke up at once this week. this is the fucking song. song, song i'm so in love w/you. summer melancholia and sweat, humidity, slow but not sluggish. it exists, it critiques itself, it seems resigned to doing both. totally fucking depressing.

I am about to make a transitional/weeklong move into a cabana in Hell's Kitchen with the ever-fabulous connie wohn--"one block from def jam" tho that was not initially a selling point. It is our "working vacation"; the carpet has teal seashells and it is decorated in 'bahamas casj,' and the sound system is, remarkably, bangin. I am also excited to talk Connie about all the stuff she hasn't heard, because Portland's hip-hop radio station, owned by Paul "portland trailblazers" Allen, does not play tracks until 9 months after the fact. Like, I think they just started playing "gasolina." No dis to portland, major dis to having an independently owned radio station--the ONLY exclusively hip-hop radio station, no less-- and not doing anything creative or interesting with it whatsoever, barring Kez's local/"underground" radio show, and anything I may have missed. But also--songs that sound really hot in NYC just don't sound the same in Portland. When I still lived there, caramanica or whoever would call me up all like, "ohhhh this is the hottest track" and I'd be like... uhhhh street heat whatever, I'm on leisure minutes. I'll check you at the goapele bbq, dog. i am just chilling with these tofu wieners. (p.s. if you are a manufacturer of TVP/seitan/wheat gluten products and you label yr shit tofu: for shame). environment, collective value systems and the rate at which time passes change entirely how you engage with music. this is something over which you have no control.

Speaking of which, I am way late to this, but here is a heartfelt "fuck the police and the grand jury ruling" on kendra james. r.i.p. police accountability is rough all over.

i saw travis at the MIA show in central park last sun and he said, "julianne, your blog is getting harder to read because of the no capitals and the manic scrawl," and i said, "Travis, it is stream of consciousness, and when you spend 14 hours per day writing complete and coherent sentences for an ostensibly general audience, the last thing you want to do is capitalize and punctuate and be lucid on your freeform sketchpad blog for ideation and wildstyle." (paraphrased)

This is now compounded by the fact that the right-shift on my laptop has busted thanks to a wayward drop of grapefruit seed oil that, miraculously, flew out of my water bottle and landed in the crevice between the computerdevice and the little white button. i need a laptop doktor.

August 10, 2005 (2) Comments

ADDENDUM: OMG OK SPOILER ALERT BUT SERIOUSLY, DOES ANYONE READ THE PAPER OR WHAT?!!

Since Nate died on six feet under, the role of the posthumous apparition has shifted. The ghosts are still speaking untrustworthy truths from beyond the grave, words the characters must mull over and choose. BUT Nate was the show's fabric, so in ghost form, he's embodying the still-living characters' worst fears--which is to say, I don't think the ghost version Nate actually exists, at least as much as the other ghosts existed. His function as devil's advocate/Id says much less about how the other characters perceived nate than how they perceive themselves. He is, in death, both a projection and a mirror.

As virginia heffernan kinda pointed out in her actually great piece in the Times on monday, Nate was so much more tragic than anyone else--he had no drug problems, he had no brushes w/schizophrenia, he was actualized in a certain way that others (david, even claire at times) were not--but the constant "i am finding myself," "i am dumping this messy relationship and blindly getting with yet another messy relationship," "hmmm, i think i am a quaker now," was a way for him to justify living a shallow emotional life and never deeply engaging with anyone, beyond the first few layers of his onion. None of the characters knew Nate as well as they know themselves, hence the limits of their after-death encounters with him.

That his role as ghost-mirror is to justify and encourage his family's worst impulses, rather than truly assuage their grief--as Nathan Sr., o.g. apparition, did--also says a lot about how the writers have been framing consciousness--or, rather, in a retrospective moment of self-awareness, the writers DECIDED they've been framing consciousness over the last however many years. So the conversations chris and phoebe and chris and melissa and i have been having, about IS SIX FEET UNDER STILL A GOOD SHOW, OR ARE WE TOO ATTACHED TO THE CHARACTERS TO KNOW?, are still inconclusive until the final episode, but it's looking good.

[per the other apparitions--the only person who ever had similar self-reckoning ghost experiences, really, was Nate, w/Nate Sr.--remember that roulette wheel w/life and death, the real surreal sequence I think 2-3 seasons ago?--even david, in his encounters with the episodic basement stiffs, were more philosophical learning experiences--distant ones.] [the above theory was alluded to by lisa's reaction to brenda at brenda's and nate's wedding, but i just assumed it was cause brenda was fully popping the klonopin to cope with getting married one day after miscarrying. still not sure if she is going to commit suicide--i think she might have an abortion, though. 2 episodes left, the theories still flow!]

August 10, 2005 (0) Comments

What would it be like to be a Miami Dolphins halftime show, to be a beautiful loser, to be a New England Rose? These are things Barr and I discussed last night on our two-hour coast-to-coast phone power convo. He is the best! And the New England Roses track "All for the Night", sweet chorale of three singing a bedtime lullaby into the meadow.

Paul Wall, when he refers to "the internet goin nutz," means 'airtight game with ladies on chat rooms." His typing skills are inimitable. There is a whole track about it, with carnival beats boys (i think) treading into sound sculpture concepts and avant garde easter eggs. i am powering up my smart juice for print excursions, but dudes--some of this shit is fuego puro. i want paul wall and freeway to come over and hang out and rap together in my living room. how can i make this happen?

also our friend chris nelson has posted the paul wall/jr writer track today. nice but nary as hot as my fave freeway/ internet goin nutz k.o. posi posse.

as an aside, two days ago via phone, chris goaded me to purchase a kozik "smorkin labbit" at kidrobot. i am not normally that kind of girl, but there is something about a small plastic smoking rabbit with a black eye that just makes me laugh.

August 8, 2005 (0) Comments

OK: how can I not take a dance class from a man whose philosophy is DEWBEE: Do Everything With Bold Energy? You don't have to answer that. There is so much potential there, and a guarantee: I will learn hot steps, I will sweat, and Feliciano will encourage me to bring it. We will amp ourselves. DEWBEE, I feel, is on par with "(pos en neg en)(NT)^i = R," Disco D's formula for positive pimpin'. ("positive energy" minus "negative energy," times networks, times time, to the power of individuality and ideas = results). As Jessica's mom would say, "live like it's yr last." as Barr would say, "how do you start something? you start it."

Plus the horoscope in Rap Sheet said my shit's about to blow... correspondent to this unshakable case of carpe diem. Wonder what that's about?

willie mae rock camp begins today, karla sent an email reminding us of the final showcase on Sat Aug 13, at the Society for Ethical Culture at 64th Street and Central Park West. Tickets are $5 and the showcase starts at 6. As Jessica's mom's friend Gwen would say, "Don't waste the pretty years."
also shayla posted some graf from last week's portland version of rock & roll camp for girls. hotness.

ebenezer and ben doing a show with TY!! (of "we don't care" extra yard fame), Toni Blackman, OKE, & Ambassadoz, at nublu on Aug 19, 62 ave c.

TY's album upwards was my workout tape for probably 1 1/2 straight months in 2003, his single "wait a minute" [VIDEO] warranted two seperate twelves and probably a total of $22.50, one w/Sticky remix, on his classic garage--I want to use the word "sproingy" to describe its luscious subbass but last time I did that, it was edited to "buoyant." (Apparently onomatopaeias are not solid jrnlism?) If you are in Portland and go hear DJ P-Disco, aka paul "appointed temporary legal guardian of my record collection" dickow, ask him to play some of that ty-sticky shinola.

AND speaking of P-Disco, he and brokenwindow have started a new label--so far releasing Strategy, Sawako, Eats Tapes & Nudge 12"s for yr dubbbin laptopia/ hear what the cascadian secessionist movement sounds like. david nakamoto, on graphics = still not a snitcher.

August 5, 2005 (4) Comments

If anyone wants to take over a HUGE 2-bedroom apt in park slope aug 15 or sept 1, 2 blcks from subway, 1 bl. from prospect park, $1800/mo, email julianneshepherd@yahoo.com. we are moving out and our landlord and neighbors are SO SO nice that we would like for someone to just take it over, rather than making them get a broker, etc. giant living room, wood flrs, one bedroom almost as big as living room, the other also a great size, tons of light, no effed up walk-thru situations. it's a great apt, the neighbrs are cool old "we've lived here for 45 years," and again, the landlord is like the nicest man in brooklyn and we wanna help him out. hit me up if yr interested.

August 4, 2005 (1) Comments

ebenezer. still in germany. still emailing. AND AS OF TONIGHT! every thursday, he is hosting a new world up-related Afrobeat house night: Tesao, a Movida, 28 7th ave south, w/ DJ Sid L'Vaga and DJ Sabo and Nappy G.

while in berlin, eben SNAPPED A PHOTO OF THE O.G. COWBOYZ 'N' POODLES!, where jessica and i broke silence on our last euro trip together. Two dazzle-eyed vegetarians lucky for doner, we came home with a taste for gauloises blondes and too many photos of the love parade's furry ass-chaps on the alexanderplatz. But before any of that, I wrote it in the "memo" box on the cover of my jrnl early on in the trip, "cowboyz n poodles," before I filled it up with our adventures--before the castle mirage of barcelona stretched out from the eurail, before we stumbled into paris on bastille day after a night of meeting americans we should've already known, before rome's water crept onto its cobble streets (and into the italian nat'l b-boy championships?). "cowboyz n poodles," it was a start, it was the feeling of being sideways, it was something i would unravel. and then, and then, i started this blog. so eben, he took a photo of the original COWBOYZ N POODLES and that will become part of the story too.

the juiceboxxx ppl. opening for DRUNK VS. STONED 2 at Gavin Brown's enterprise, 620 Greenwich Street and 436 West 15th Street, 6 pm. RELATED: drunk vs. stoned soccer match on sept 7. so in cahoots w/ our mantra de '04: "first idea, worst idea? first idea, BEST IDEA."

CONNIE WOHN!! coming to work the willie mae rock camp, nyc's first annual spinoff of portland's revered rock n roll camp for grls for the lady youf, all-music inclusive DIY "form a band/learn to DJ/start rappin'" camp for girls ages 8-18, taught by musicians, complete with self-defense and sound engineering classes. I will tell you now: if you are not doing anything Aug 13, you should attend the final showcase; seeing the young ladies perform their stee from the week is like han solo unfroze: a faith renewal, an energy reuppance, and the best band names you wish you'd invented. It's about the energy of possibility, the possibility of regeneration, now feel it.

August 4, 2005 (4) Comments

BROOKLYN, NY—Hold on to your hate, because the hottest friendship of the summer is about to hit your blogscreen… and it’s going on tour!

Everyone's been talking about two South Brooklyn authors, Marisa M. and Julianne S. They've been spotted calling each other several times a day "just to break from whatever they're working on," meeting up at coffee shops to write on their laptops across from each other, and out gallivanting together at 5:30 am because they both set their own hours. And now, it's official: Marisa and Julianne are letting you know, they're friends!

In a statement released earlier today, Marisa said, “I feel pretty good about it. I feel like I have been in friendships in the past where the friendship was maybe more confusing or never formally announced, and now I can have a renewed confidence that not only is Julianne my friend, but the world can know."

Julianne was not available for comment; at press time, she was doing an interview.

“I think that’s the beauty of this friendship," responded Marisa. That it’s not about me being jealous that [Julianne] gets to do interviews, or that she has other friends. Our friendship is all about MORE friendship; it’s saying, 'Our friendship is great, but it doesn’t take away from YOUR ability to have a great friendship, because you should have more friendship in your life.' In fact, one could say that our friendship is too big for New York... and we gotta take it on the road."

Ooh--did we hear that right? YES! THE HOTTEST FRIENDSHIP IN BROOKLYN IS GOING ON THE ROAD!

Confirmed dates:

Carroll Gardens--tomorrow
Manhattan--bi-daily
North Brooklyn--probably sometime soon
Queens--I mean, when is the next thing at P.S. 1?
Portland--mid- or late-september
Maybe Boston for a feminist conference or something--the future

"I’m really excited about [going to Portland]. I love Portland, it’s like a second home to me. I probably spend most of my winters wishing that I lived there," explained Marisa. "I think the people of Portland are really good looking, so kudos to that city. And yet at the same time, there are always weird moments when I visit and feel like an alien New Yorker, so it will be nice knowing that somebody else--my friend Julianne-- can relate to my unique mindset... and that she also has phone numbers for many of Portland’s single luminaries."

When asked about the purpose of the Friendship Tour's stop in Portland, Marisa responded, "Hopefully it will bring us a little bit of good music, maybe a good dance party. The purpose for me personally is to relax, not have road rage, eat vegan baked goods, and wear cardigans.”

Scroll down for more of the EXCLUSIVE FRIENDSHIP TOUR INTERVIEW. Or to book an interview with Julianne or Marisa about THE FRIENDSHIP YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR, email jawnita@chamillionaire.com.

Q. Do you think this is the greatest friendship of all time?

Marisa: "I don’t, cause we ‘re not sleeping together, if you’re sleeping with someone it’s more heated, and we’re not jr high school age, cause those are real intense. I don’t want to be a part of the greatest friendship of all time, in the same way that I don’t want to be president of the U.S.”

Q. Do you think that's a generational thing?

M: "I don’t know, I think that probably earlier generations of women either had less friends because they got married sooner and the idea of their husband as sole confidante was greater... or they had more friends cause they were more reliant on people to cope with the world. If watching Laguna Beach or The OC are any indication of younger generations, our friendship is a lot better than those.

Q. You don't want our friendship to be like the ones on The OC?

M: If you were dating Adam Brody, I would probably want to date him, too, because I have a really big crush on him.

Q: When did you first know that we would be friends?

M: I felt like you understood, like that time we went to Tasty D-Lite and we talked about what the summer jam was gonna be, you understood my neurotic need to have a dedicated jam each summer--the song you could ask a six-year-old about and they'd respond, "Of course, that's the summer jam.' I think that you understand that about me, and that was key.

Q. Are there any highlight moments of our friendship thus far?

M: Going to the Faith Evans show was really good, especially cause that was coupled with watching the Sonic Youth video. [The Year Punk Broke, WHICH WE eBAYED for $1.04. -ed.] I think standing on line forever for the Elle Girl "Hot Issue" party was pretty bonding, but it was probably both the high and low experience of my life thus far, so it's always good to have shared it with someone else.

August 2, 2005 (1) Comments

MOBILE TIME: New York Civil Liberties Union rally against Pataki's potential veto against emergency contraception, Thurs Aug 4, 5 pm, Third ave bt 40/41 in front of dude's office.

I mean, really, FILE UNDER WHAT THE Fing CRAP: In a conservative-appeasing, "I want to run for prez" complete 180 on past stance, Gov Pataki announced that he is vetoing the bill that would make the morning after pill---not an abortion, btw, but a dose of hormones-- available without a prescription. On the level: If Pataki had ever actually spent 9 hours up in the Planned Parenthood lobby on open-hours day, waiting for his name to come up on the overloaded patient list and possibly missing work because of it, just so he could have the mandatory seven-minute counseling/'scrip session, then spend the next 12 hours power-pill-popping while trying not to barf--if Pataki had actually done this, which is currently what most women (especially those w/out health insurance) endure for the morning-after pill--I MIGHT NOT ACTUALLY CONSIDER HIS VETO INFANTILISING AND PUKE-RAGEOUS.

This, of course, corresponds to my personal party line that EVERYONE who ever runs for office and/or makes vast governmental decisions about what happens to a woman's body (Mitt Romney I am talking to you, too), should be made to spend just one day in the open-hours line at Planned Parenthood. Call it sensitivity training.