i got five on the conservative guy

FROM April 18, 2005

For the cynics among us betting which hardline anti-feminist, anti-protected-sex homophobe might be chosen to lead the New Catholic Church, a friend of C'n'P's takes a wild guess. We noted earlier that, beneath the mugshots of the contenders in the Sunday Times, all the captions essentially read, "Fierce intellect. Wildly compassionate. Hates gays, women and Islam." Addendum: Chris just called to tell me apparently God's Rottweiler was "forced" into Hitler Youth. Pardon me, but JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Keep that black smoke coming, papis.

Peripherally related: in the new issue of National Geographic magazine, there is a photo spread of Cheney and Rumsfeld's illegal prison camp, Guantanamo Bay--soldiers, prisoners, its isolation. In one of the photos, an off-duty soldier, can't be older than 24 with a lackadasiacal dye-job and black-rimmed spectacles is dining on homemade Cuban food with her cohorts and, ironically, wearing a Bright Eyes t-shirt. Wish I could interview the woman wearing it--whether she hates it there, whether she only listens to the love songs. If you happened to get Conor's number from Paris Hilton's leaked sidekick, give him a call and ask him what he thinks.

Back from the last two weeks in Chicago and Seattle, and NYC's been molting something fierce--even winter-maudlin ol J-Shep cannot resist the aroma of possibility. Right now, Daddy Yankee is trying to push up in my windowpane from the street, so maybe I'll go out there and dance to toast the change, my newly weightless insides.

Complete notes from the Feminism and Hip-Hop conference, and thoughts from the EMP Pop Conference, coming soon. Until then, please note how serious this shit was. I look like I am shooting lasers into the audience.

Regarding EMP: Elijah Wald, oh lo of the self-sewn cowboy shirt, lamented lack of tubas in hip-hop production: if everything goes as planned, the next album from Ms. Ford Prefect, plus the dudes from the Drumline, will remedy this in June. Also see: Ciara's "Roll Wit You," from the Coach Carter soundtrack, produced by mebbe Lil Jon mebbee I don't know whom, cause I don't have the liner notes and google is an empty chasm. There's some synth-low tromboney or tuba shit on there, saying "hello" to my ass in the low end.
Hello, ass.
Hello.