thanksgiving-20s crisis

FROM November 27, 2004

Drug post: Took 2 Nautamine (french equivalent of Dramamine) to curb the rickety-barfing side effects of the Thksgiving train from New Haven, and I am feeling fiiiiiine. This woozy anti-anxiety, plus thxgiving with the loveliest family ever, plus emails from two seperate exes asking if I'm "OK", makes me wonder if I should travel more often. Regardless, I'm exercising my constitutional right to remain unfocused. The three-day-old-mascara, over-the-counter-drugs, "Did I sleep in these pantyhose?" kind of unfocused. Am I going out into the night like this? Oh, yes. Courtney Love, watch yr back; I got motion sickness.

I think constant focus leads to believing yr own mythology. And that kinda defense mechanism will bite you back. Especially in mid-life, when your mythology starts showing its cracks and, in an effort to re-obscure your untended baby self, you must purchase an expensive convertible sports car and/or start fucking yr secretary.

Midlife crisis: not a good look. Protect yr future self: fall apart now. Woo!